


Lake Alapmi

by pbmolecules



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (Very) Minor Character Death, AU, Abuse, Angst, Brothers, Cabin, Children, College, Coming of Age, Crush, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Elementary School, F/F, F/M, First Dance, First Kiss, Fishing, Foster Care, Foster kids, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Happy Ending, High School, Holiday, Homophobic Slurs, Kid!Cas, Kids, Little!Dean, Little!Sam, M/M, Neglect, Prank Wars, Pranks, Secret Relationship, Sleeping Together, Slow Burn, Stickers, Summer Camp, Summer Vacation, Tattoos, Teenage!Charlie, Teenage!Sam, Underage (barely), Vacation, daisies, emancipation, friend Charlie, kid!Dean, kid!Gabe, kid!Sam, riding bikes, shitty parents, teenage!Dean, teenage!Lucifer, teenage!castiel - Freeform, writing letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:12:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 111,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11019768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pbmolecules/pseuds/pbmolecules
Summary: AU. Destiel. Spend a week with Dean every year as he (and little Sammy!) get to know their new family.  Each chapter is a snapshot in time telling the story of one little boy hurdling trial after trial to get even a taste of happiness. Don't miss Dean's first kiss, first run-in with Crowley, first love, and first heartache.  See when "Bitch" and "Jerk" were born and find out why you will never see a sticker the same again.





	1. 1987

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Movies and music were fact checked to be sure that was what would be playing at the times throughout this fic. I do not own any movies, TV shows, songs, or Supernatural or Supernatural's characters.  
> These are really long chapters (around 10,000 words each) but I wanted each trip separated into a chapter. So each chapter consists of a one week long vacation.  
> This year Dean is 8 and Sam is 4.

Chapter 1. 1987

 

3rd week of July, 1987

 

Dean set the army men up for the millionth time. Every bump or sharp turn wiped the whole army out, little green men going down all over the back seat of the car. 

"Pchoo, pchoo!" Sam said, shooting five of his men.

"No fair, Sam, I was fixing them!"

Sam laughed knocking the five men down and Dean sighed. "You got me," he grinned, ruffling Sam's hair. It was useless to expect better strategy from his little brother. He wished Benny could have come. The two of them could fight the best battles. Better than anyone else.

"I winned!" Sam cheered.

"You won," Dean corrected. "You know what you won, Sammy?" He asked excitedly, Sam's face lighting up.

"What?"

"You gotta pick 'em all up and put 'em back in the box!"

"I can do that!" Sam jumped.

Dean got out of the foot well in the back seat, sitting on the seat and looking out the window.

"I got 'em all!" Sam yelled, spilling the box of men and squirming around to pick them up again. The car ride had been long. Sam was only 4, and if they didn't pull over again soon, Dean was gonna go nuts. 

"Here's more," Dean said, tossing several more Sam's way.

"We're almost there," his dad announced.

Dean looked out the window again. Trees grew sparsely on both sides of the road, the warm summer sun weaving through the branches and making it green and bright out. He wasn't too sure about this whole stupid trip. Going to a lake sounded fun. Fishing sounded fun. Campfires sounded fun. But that stupid baby, Adam, and that woman were coming instead of their mom. Their mom should be here. He held the last toy soldier he had picked up in his hand. His green gun was raised and ready to fire. Dean's eyes went from the barrel of the gun to the woman in the front seat. She turned, glancing at him, her blondish-brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. She smiled slightly, turning back around, adjusting Adam on her lap.

"How soon?" Dean asked his dad. Not that woman.

"About ten minutes," Kate answered.

Dean sat his army man on the windowsill of the door. He could protect them from enemies. The length of the barrel pointing amongst the trees whizzing by. Sam flopped onto the seat next to him. "Will Mom be there?"

"No, Sam," their dad snapped, making Sam flinch next to him. "You will see your mom in three weeks. Until then, no Mom."

Sam frowned, looking up at Dean.

"And I don't want to hear another word about her the whole time we're here."

Dean put his arm around Sam, pulling him into his side.

"This is a family vacation. Kate's family. That means no one wants to hear about your mom, got it?"

"We got it," Dean answered, Sam just staring down at his hands. It was all still so weird. Forever he had his mom and his dad and Sam. They lived in Kansas and went to McDonald's every weekend to get a happy meal and the toy inside. Like all his other friends, his mom and dad lived together in one house and everything was perfect. Then his parents started fighting more. His dad went on a trip and was gone for a WHOLE month. When he came back, his mom wouldn't talk to him and his dad said things were going to be better. He was wrong. Things were best when it was the four of them and they were happy. Eating happy meals. That was happy. That's what good was. This was not good. Not really. His mom cried a lot. His dad was gone a lot. Kate cried a lot. Kate never got them happy meals. It was just all wrong. They had to go visit his dad's 'new friend' all the way in Minnesota. Without their mom. The weirdest part was that their mom let them go. Dean thought for sure his mom would never let them go all the way to Minnesota without her. Who went that far without their mother? Dean was pretty sure it was illegal.  
So they went to Minnesota for Christmas to meet Kate. And Kate gave them presents. Some of them were pretty cool too. But her belly was big. And leave it to Sam to ask questions. Their big surprise was that they were getting a baby brother or sister. It was confusing. And stupid. And Dean just wanted happy meals with his mom and dad and Sam. They went back to Kansas. Home. But Dad stayed in Minnesota. Mom took them for happy meals sometimes. But now they were tainted. Ruined. The toys were lamer or the food sucked. And it made him miss his dad. His parents were divorced. People thought it was a shame. Whatever. It was stupid. And broken. And now this stupid Kate and her stupid baby were pushing their way in. 

School ended. He had one week to stay up late and have sleepovers with Benny. Then he and Sam had to go to Minnesota for the whole stupid summer. It really was stupid. His mom wasn't there. Sam just didn't seem to get it, since he was still practically a baby. They didn't have all their things. They had to share a room, which was fine, really. Their dad left for work and they stayed with stupid Kate. Dean did not like her. She wasn't warm and soft like his mom. She was busy. She complained about them to their dad and got them in trouble some times. And everything was about Adam. And now they were spending a whole stupid week on a vacation with Kate's family.

"I wanna go home now," Sam said in that really quiet, shaky voice that meant he was probably gonna cry. If Sam started crying, their dad would get mad. Kate would get mad. Adam would cry.

"Hey," Dean whispered sharply, squeezing Sam tighter, making him look at him. "You gotta be good. You can wait. Just wait, Sammy."

Sam looked away, nodding bravely. "I'm good," he whispered, nodding until the threat of tears passed.

"We're gonna fish, right?" Dean said, trying to talk about happy things.

"We sure are!" His dad grinned into the rearview mirror.

"And you get to meet all your new cousins," Kate grinned back at them. "You will have lots of new friends to play with."

"Like who?" Sam asked, scooting to the edge of the seat and clinging to the front seat.

"Well," Kate said, shuffling Adam around again to keep him happy, "All my brothers and sisters will be there this year. Zachariah has three boys you can play with Dean. That's Michael, Luc, and Gabriel. My sister Naomi adopted a boy named...Raphael, I think. Oh, she adopted another kid. I can't remember if it's a boy or girl. Be nice to the adopted kids," she said, narrowing her eyes.

Dean lifted his hands in defense. What did he care if some kids were adopted? Being adopted was cool.

"Then there's Hannah and Anna, Marv's girls. And then Bartholomew has three daughters as well. Sweet girls."

"Sounds crowded," Dean said, already forgetting names. 

"Dean," his dad warned.

Dean smirked. Too many girls. Too many people. And his only family there was Sam and his dad. That woman and her huge family could take a long walk off a short pier.

"We can swim?" Sam asked, bouncing.

"Yep," their dad said. "Lots of swimming."

"You two need to be good," Kate warned. "Or I won't let you swim. And if you fight with your cousins, you won't get to swim."

Dean looked out the window as he slid back on the seat frowning. Why did she always assume they were going to be bad? 

"Dean," his dad said sternly.

"Yes?" Dean snapped back.

"You keep an eye on your brother. There will be lots of stuff to do, but you need to help take care of him."

"Yes, sir," Dean said. Like he wouldn't watch after Sam. They were practically tied together. He took better care of Sam than Kate did. Better than their dad did, even. And at home, better than their mom even. 

Dean could see water through the trees now. This lake was big. 

"Right here," Kate said, pointing to a narrow lane.

The car lumbered up the narrow lane and Dean shoved the army man he had been holding in the ashtray by his hand. 'Batten down the hatches, soldier,' he told the little green man. He wished he could curl up in a little metal box and hide from all this family shit. His cheeks flushed slightly just thinking that bad word. This was all a bunch of shit. 

Sam scooted to the opposite door, watching the cabin come into view. It was big. It stood up on big stilts and there was a gravel parking area next to it. Kayaks leaned against a tree. The cabin was two stories tall, up on it's legs that did not look strong enough to hold it up. 

Their dad pulled up next to another car, putting it in park and letting out a long sigh.

"It's going to be fun, John," Kate assured him.

"I know!" He grinned, getting out.

Dean looked at the little lid that was closed tight over the army man. 'Wish me luck.'

 

Dean carried his duffel bag, pillow, and sleeping bag, following his dad up a steep flight of wooden steps. As he crested the top step, the view opened up onto a large deck and a sweeping view of the lake. Dean shifted his sleeping bag and reached around to be sure Sam came up the last step and stood safely in front of him. 

"Wow!" Their dad said with a huge grin. "Look at that view, boys!"

"Yeah," he and Sam said, creeping closer to the railing. The water had a green tint to it, reflecting the trees all around the edges.

A sliding glass door opened and a balding man stepped out. "Kate! You're here!"

"Zachariah," she grinned.

"Come in, come in." Zachariah reached forward, shaking his dad's hand firmly. "John. Nice to meet you."

"Zachariah," he grinned. 

Dean followed his dad and Kate through the door and into the huge cabin. 

"Kate!" Several adults called. She hugged several women and shook hands with several men. "This is John and Adam," she said, glowing as she gently bounced the baby, letting the others see the newest addition to the family. 

They crowded around the baby, one of the women taking him. A million girls seemed to flood the living room, all trying to see the baby. Long braids and high voices and excited hopping. 

The cabin was high ceilinged, with a large living room open to two big tables and a huge kitchen. Two doors on either side of the wide space appeared to be bedrooms. A set of steps could be seen along the left wall. The furniture was large and bulky with plaid cushions. Tan carpets ran throughout and there was light brown paneling on the walls. Big windows on both ends let a lot of light in. 

"Kate," his dad said tightly.

"Oh!" Kate said, standing up straighter. "This is Sam and this is Dean. John's boys."

Sam grinned wide and waved, Dean probably looked annoyed. Because that's how he felt. Annoyed.

"Dean! Sam!" Zachariah cheered, shaking their hands with wide, wild blue eyes. The creepy part was how quickly that face dropped into a sneer when looking away. 

"Where's our room?" John asked.

"This way," a woman with long brown hair said. "Kate, you and John and the baby can have this room." It was just off the kitchen. "The kids are all staying upstairs. I'll take the boys up."

"Thanks, Rachel."

Their dad gave Dean a stern nod, so Dean followed the woman up a flight of steps inside and into another huge living room.

"What's your name?" Sam asked.

"Rachel. Marv is my husband." Dean turned, seeing all the girls had followed them upstairs. 

Rachel's voice was firm and clear. Like a teacher. Like a teacher that did not like him all that much. He saw the look. The coldness behind their smiles gave him chills.

"Would everyone come to the living room please," Rachel called. The five girls took seats on the couch. Five boys came out of two different bedrooms. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your new...cousins, Dean and Sam. How old are you?" She said crisply to Dean.

"I'm 8. Sam is 4."

She nodded as ten pairs of eyes studied him and Sam. It was unnerving. 

"These two girls are my daughters, Hannah and Anna," Rachel said, pointing to a red-head and a brunette. "Hannah is 6 and Anna is 5." Anna, the red-head gave Sam a big grin.

"These three ladies are Bartholomew's daughters, Cloe, Lottie, and Attie." The three seemed extremely prim and proper. They sat primly on the edge of the couch. Their eyes were cool and pale blue like their father's, all of them blonde. Their clothes were blouses and skirts with shoes on. And man, were they clean. Like didn't any of these girls go outside to play? Ever?

"I'm 8," Attie said with a nod. "Lottie is 10 and Cloe is 12."

Dean nodded. They were...way too perfect. Not in an awesome way.

"These boys are Zachariah's boys, Michael, Luc, and Gabriel."

"Hello," Michael, stepped forward, shaking Dean's hand like a grown-up. "I'm 13, the eldest of the cousins. My brother Luc is 12 and Gabriel is 9."

Dean nodded slowly along. Michael seemed okay. Luc and Gabriel seemed like they could be fun.

"These are Naomi's adopted sons," Rachel continued, pointing at two boys standing off to the side a bit. "Raphael. He is 12, like Cloe and Luc." He was another cold eyed, proper-looking stiff kid like the three sisters.  
"And our newest addition, Castiel," Rachel said, pointing to the boy next to Raphael. These were the two adopted kids. "Castiel is 7." 

"Now," Rachel continued in her teacher voice. "I expect you all get along and we do behave here," she said, giving Sam, Dean, and Castiel stern looks.

Dean smirked, so, they were the outsiders. But Raphael had been around awhile and seemed to fit in just fine, so maybe it just took awhile. Maybe Dean just didn't really care. 

"The girls are in these two rooms," Rachel said, pointing to the two rooms on the left. Boys do not enter those rooms. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Dean said automatically, making Rachel's eyebrow raise in some surprise.

"The boys rooms are on this side and it will be tight. Michael and Luc have this room. You two will share with Raphael, Gabriel, and Castiel."

"Thanks," Dean muttered.

"Dinner will be at 7:00, downstairs. Tomorrow morning we can enjoy the lake more." She nodded to the group and left. The three girls rose and gave them courteous nods as they disappeared into their room, closing the door.

"Okay," Dean said under his breath. He headed for his room. Gabriel scurried in front of him, going in the room first. "This is my bed," he said, climbing the ladder and sitting on a top bunk. There were two bunks in the room. "Raphael has the other top bunk. Castiel is under his, so...guess you two gotta share the one under me."

"Cozy," Luc sneered from the doorway. 

"Get outta here, dick," Gabriel smirked back.

Luc raised his eyebrows. "Brother, you wound me."

Gabriel gave Luc the finger and Dean laughed. 

"Aw!" Sam laughed, pointing at Gabriel.

"What are you pointing at?" Gabriel grinned, dropping off the top bunk and landing in front of Sam. "Listen here, shortstack," Gabriel said, looking down at Sam, "we don't squeal on our family here. What happens with us stays here."

"Hey," Dean said, pushing Sam behind him and out of Gabriel's glare. "We aren't snitches. Chill."

Gabriel gave him a calculating look, still grinning. His light brown hair looked like it needed cut. His eyes were mischievous and still lit. 

"Alright," Gabriel nodded. "I'll hold ya to it. You too, shortstack," he swerved around Dean, pointing at Sam who scowled. 

"I'm not a snitch," Sam said, giving Gabriel the finger to prove it.

"Nice," Dean groused, swatting Sam's hand down, Luc laughing from the doorway. 

"I think I like you, Sam," Luc laughed, walking away.

"Knock it off," Dean said, Sam shrugging his shoulders.  
"I seriously gotta share a bed with Sam?" Dean asked, looking around. 

"Sorry, newbie rules," Gabe shrugged.

Castiel walked into the room, sitting on his bed quietly. His hair was thick and dark brown, almost black. His eyes were crazy blue. He moved quietly and kept his eye on everyone. Kid was probably as lost as they were.

Dean put his sleeping bag and pillow on the bottom bunk, Sam following his lead. Dean unzipped his bag, shaking it out on the bare mattress. He opened Sam's all the way as well and put it on top as a cover. 

"You guys get that dresser," Gabriel pointed.

Dean nodded and unpacked Sam's bag.

"Hi," Sam was saying to Castiel, who looked at him with a slightly worried look on his face.

"Hello, Sam," the boy answered.

"You can play with me and Dean. Dean! Let's go see the lake!"

"Chill, Sam. Gimme a minute," Dean said, unpacking the bag until it was empty, then doing the same with his own. There was plenty of room for both of their clothes. He shoved the duffel bags under their bed and looked around. "Alright. Lake it is."

"Yes!" Sam cheered.

"Are you really?" Gabriel asked, shoving his hair back out of his face. "We're not supposed to."

"Why?" Dean asked.

Gabriel looked at Castiel. No help there. "Because the aunts said so. But, hey, I'm up for sneaking out!"

"We don't gotta sneak," Dean shrugged. "We're just going to look. Geez. Are they gonna be this uptight the whole week?"

"Oh yeah," Gabriel grinned, patting Dean on the shoulder. "Welcome aboard, Skipper."

"Come on, just stay quiet about it, alright?" Dean eyed Gabriel and Sam.

Sam nodded and Gabriel smirked.

Dean went through the door, crossing the living room and pulled the back door open to a top deck. "This is awesome!" Dean said, looking out into the woods. 

"Look, these steps go down to the other deck, then those steps go down to the ground," Dean pointed. "Let's go."

"Lead the way, Dean-O!"

Dean did a double take, glancing behind him. Sam, started down the steps and now Hannah, Anna and Castiel were following behind him. He and Gabriel exchanged a look and quickly followed them.

As the younger kids reached the bottom, they took off for the lake.

"Shit," Dean huffed, losing sight of them almost immediately. 

He jogged down the small hill toward the lake and found all four of them at the water's edge. Anna was getting ready to step in and Sam was already ankle deep. Shoes and socks submerged.

"Sam! Your shoes!" Dean laughed.

Sam grinned and stooped to swish his hands in the water.   
"Wait," Castiel said, grabbing Anna's shoulder before she stepped in. "Don't mess up your shoes."

She looked up at him raptly, not moving.

"Stay out of the water, all of you," Dean said. "Just look. Otherwise we'll get in trouble."

The kids nodded, Sam squelching up onto the bank. "Sorry, Dean."

"Just take them off for now, dork." 

Sam pulled them off, handing them to Dean. He ran down the bank a few yards to a grassy clearing. Hannah and Sam started a game of tag. Castiel and Anna started picking flowers. More like, Castiel started picking flowers. Anna copied whatever he did. Dean kept an eye on them, but turned to look at the lake. 

"My dad's taking me fishing tomorrow. Wanna go?" Dean said to Gabriel.

"Sure," Gabriel shrugged. "Never been fishing before."

"Really?" Dean asked, surprised. "I thought you guys came here every year."

"We do. But nobody fishes."

"Well, I do. My dad does." Dean shrugged. Gabriel might be alright. He just wasn't too sure. Gabriel's eyebrows lifted and he cracked up laughing.

Dean turned, seeing Castiel standing next to him. He held up a daisy for him.

Dean grinned, taking the flower. "Thanks."

"Castiel," Gabriel laughed, draining the shy smile from the scrawny kid's face, "you don't give flowers to boys! Give them to your mom or something."

"No!" Dean shook his head. "If you give them to your mom, she'll know we were sneaking around out here. You're just gonna have to throw them out, Cas." 

Castiel gave him a long look. He grinned and then ran off, spreading them around the clearing, Anna doing the same.  
"Now the bees can have them," he said, jogging back to Dean's side.

Dean and Gabriel just exchanged a look. The kid was different. That's for sure.

 

"We should head back," Dean said after two games of freeze-tag.

"We do not come to the lake without an adult!" Came a frantic mom voice.

All the kids froze and turned to see Rachel, Kate and another one of the aunts. All of them hot-faced and angry.  
Dean wiped a hand over his face. "Sorry, It was my idea," he said quickly.

"That figures," Kate said, Rachel shaking her head.

"It's dangerous to be outside without an adult, Dean!" Rachel yelled.

"He kept us away from the water," Castiel said.

"Inside. Now. All of you," Rachel said sternly. As Dean watched the kids head toward the house, he noticed Gabriel had disappeared. He didn't look around too hard, not wanting to give away that there was another kid outside, but it did make him worry.

"You have no business taking these kids outside, Dean," Kate said angrily, grabbing him by his t-shirt. "You can stay with the adults until dinner is ready. And no swimming or fishing for you tomorrow."

"But!" Dean yelled back.

"Two days then?" She threatened, getting closer to his face.

Tears stung at his eyes. He couldn't go fishing. His dad would go without him. But he refused to cry in front of Kate the bitch.

"Now that I think about it, go up to your bed and stay in it. I will know if you don't." She glanced at the other aunts and clenched her jaw.

"And if you keep it up, you won't come back next year. Got it?"

"Got it," Dean said tightly, his head turned away from her angry monster face.

She let go of him with a shove. He stumbled back but did not fall. 

"Get inside," she hissed.

Dean ran to the side of the field, grabbing Sam's shoes and the flower still sitting there. He ran up the steps and into the house. He left Sam's shoes on the deck to finish drying. He came inside. Most of the kids were in the living room now, two aunts sitting with them. Dean went into their room and got on the bed. He still had the daisy, so he tucked it up into the wood slat of the bunk bed. He tucked his hands behind his head and caught his breath. He always seemed to be in trouble for something.

Gabriel walked in, climbing up to his bed. Dean watched as the mattress above him shifted and the daisy dipped slightly.

"Did ya get in trouble?" Gabe asked.

"Yeah. Where'd you go?"

"Ran! Got out of there."

"Thanks for the warning, jerk."

"Hey, I bolted. Sorry." His head dropped down over the side, his hair hanging down. "Thanks for not telling on me."

"Told ya I'm not a snitch, Gabe."

Gabe nodded. 

Castiel walked into the bedroom and laid down on his bed without a word. Dean turned his head, following the quiet boys moves. When he laid down, he turned, looking at Dean. A tiny smile twitched one corner of his serious mouth.

Dean did the same back. Whether Gabe got away or ratted them out, Dean wasn't sure. But Cas had tried to stick up for him. Gotta give him credit for that. He didn't run and hide, leaving him to hold the bag.

"What are you going to bed for?" Gabe asked Cas.

Cas shrugged, pulling a book out.

Dean got the feeling he was doing it in solidarity. But maybe he was making something out of nothing.  
When dinner was called, they all went downstairs, eating at two huge tables. Castiel stuck to his side, Anna to his. Sam sat next to him, since it was habit, and Dean always helped him.

"You called Gabriel a jerk," Sam whispered clumsily in his ear as food was being dished out.

"No I didn't," Dean shushed him.

"I heard you," Sam said, looking like he knew top secret info that was gonna change the world.

"Fine. Maybe I did, jerk."

Sam's mouth dropped open in awe.

Dean scooped chicken and peas onto his plate.

"I don't like chicken," Sam frowned.

"Eat it anyway. Jerk," Dean grinned.

"You eat it, jerk!" Sam said, his eyes almost bugging out with his own audacity. He quickly broke into a fit of giggles.

"Oh yeah? If you don't eat all your chicken, you're really in for it. I might be a jerk, but you'll be a bitch."

Sam's eyes bulged again and his mouth made a perfect O. "Dean!" Sam was practically vibrating with astonishment.

"Better eat all that chicken," Dean grinned. "If you don't, you'll be stuck being a bitch forever."

He glanced around, Castiel chuckling softly next to him, but no one else had noticed. He scooped potato wedges onto his own plate, then Sam's, handing the spoon then to Cas.

By the end of the meal, Sam had barely eaten anything, let alone the chicken.

"Last bite," Dean waved his last bite of dry chicken in front of Sam. 

Sam made a miserable face. "I just can't do it."

"Guess you're a bitch then," Dean grinned.

Sam laughed so hard he got shushed by one of the aunts.  
The meal was finished and the girls had to help clean up and do dishes. The next night would be the boys turn. 

"How about we have a campfire tonight?" Zachariah said, looking at the kids eagerly.

He got lots of yes's from them and the uncles left to start a fire. Dean's dad found him before he went upstairs with the kids.

"I heard you got in some trouble already, Dean," he said firmly.

"Yes, sir," Dean said.

His dad sighed. "Boy, I expect better of you. You coulda got Sam hurt or one of the other kids-"

"I never would have-"

"Dean."

Dean closed his mouth firmly to stem all the things he wanted to say. But if he kept talking, he was gonna get spanked. And he did not want that happening in front of his new cousins. 

"Kate said no fishing or swimming tomorrow. So, you better get your act together, boy, or this is gonna be a real boring vacation for you."

Dean swallowed hard. His own dad would side with Kate. That woman. He knew his teacher better than he knew her. "Yes, sir."

Dean went to his room until the kids were called down for the campfire. He watched out the windows as the kids went down by the shore.

"Sorry you got in trouble," came Sam's small voice next to him. 

"Forget about it," Dean said, messing up his shiny brown hair. "Go with the others."

"Me and Cas are gonna stay with you!" Dean turned, seeing Castiel sitting in the darkening living room. Okay, this kid was either creepy or really loyal. 

"No, Sammy, you go have fun at the fire."

Sam shook his head.

"Cas," Dean said, crossing the room to where he sat. "Please take Sammy down."

Castiel looked as if he was unsure what to do.

"Please, Cas."

"Okay. Come on, Sam. We'll try to bring him a snack, okay?"

"Okay, Sam said, dragging his feet and taking Cas' hand.

Dean grabbed Cas' sleeve. "Keep an eye on him, will you?"

"Yes, of course," Cas answered. And Dean believed him.

 

Dean woke to chatter and excited talking from Luc, Gabriel, and Sam. 

"Dean!" Sam yelled, shaking him awake. "We brought you stuff!"

Dean pushed himself up, sitting. 

"We made marshmallows and s'mores. We brought you some."

"Cool!" He took a cooled wad of marshmallow from Sam's sticky hands. "Thanks. You better go wash your hands."

Sam ran off and Gabe and Luc laughed. 

"He was so proud he hid that mess," Luc laughed.

Dean quickly hid the wad in the trash. It was a nice thought, but gross.

"I brought you this," Cas said, handing him a s'more. 

"You are awesome!" Dean laughed, biting into the mess.

Castiel grinned and got in his bed.

Raphael came in the room, giving them all a pretentious look. "Time for bed," he said, stone-cold serious. 

Castiel left the room immediately, pajamas in hand. 

Dean followed him into the bathroom, getting a drink of water from the faucet. He steered Sam out and into bed with him. Everyone settled in, Luc leaving to go to his own room and Dean knew he was going to have trouble sleeping. 

He was not the only one either. Castiel was in his bed and kept moving around and itching.

Sam snuggled tight into his side and was asleep in no time. They slept like this a lot more often since their parents divorced. 

Castiel continued to flop around in his bed.

Gabriel was stifling a laugh.

Dean shifted Sam over a little, swiping his bangs off his forehead.

Castiel sat up, throwing his covers off and stood up, scratching.

"What are ya doin' Cas?" Dean asked, watching. 

"I'm so itchy!"

Gabriel burst out laughing.

"Go to sleep," Raphael droned.

Dean stood up as Cas tore his pajama pants off, scratching wildly. 

"Something's wrong!" Cas gasped.

Gabriel laughed even harder.

The door opened and Luc flipped the light on, stepping in. "What's the problem in here," he asked, over-serious.

"Sorry, something's wrong with my pajamas! Or my bed!" Cas said, still scratching.

"Get back in bed, Castiel, or I will have to call your mother," Luc said, shaking his head.

Dean watched as Cas got back into his bed and tried not to scratch.

"Are you going to behave?" Luc asked, barely stifling a grin. Gabriel was still laughing.

"I will," Cas said timidly. He laid still, eyes squeezed shut. 

Then he scratched.

And scratched again.

"Something's wrong!" He yelled, jumping up again.

"Dude," Dean said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "somebody put itching powder in your pajamas. Or your bed. Gabriel?"

"That was perfect!" Gabe panted through his laughs. Luc was laughing by now too and pulled the door shut as he left.

"I can't sleep there!" Cas said, looking at his bed in fear.

"If I were you," Dean grinned, "I'd kick Gabe out of bed and take his, but ya know, whatever."

Dean got back in bed with Sam and watched as Cas stood there staring at his bed.

"Gabe, you're such a dick," Dean said, trying not to grin too hard.

"I know!" He wheezed out in another fit of laughter.

Dean looked at Cas and realized the boy was watching him.

"I'll just sleep out on the couch," Cas said.

Dean laid there a long time, waiting for sleep to come.

 

Day 2: Dean woke up to bright morning light and the flash of a camera. He had the warm sensation of being surrounded and good. Sam was waking up, starting to move in his arms, where Dean had them wrapped around his tiny form. But there was an arm that wasn't his. The weight of an arm around him.

Dean's head popped up and he followed the arm to its source. Castiel. Why the hell was Cas in his bed? Oh, right, the itching powder. He probably got cold out in the living room. Or was sleep walking.

The camera flashed again. Dean's head whipped around. 

"Gabriel!" He yelled and lunged at the camera. Gabriel danced out of reach.

"You're such a prick!" Dean yelled.

Cas pulled his arm away when Dean started moving. He sat up with a bewildered look on his face. "Sorry," he muttered.

Sam leaned over and threw his arms out with a cheesy grin for the last picture.

"Castiel," Gabe laughed, "why'd you get in bed with Dean?"

"Well, Gabriel," Cas answered firmly, "because someone made me itchy!"

Gabriel burst into laughter again, leaving the room and the three of them got out of the small bed.

The family enjoyed a full day by the lake. Dean, however, stayed inside watching TV, which was mostly soap operas, and played board games or card games with whoever was around. He was allowed outside only once and that was only to the large deck. They were taking a large family photo. All the aunts, uncles and kids crowded together while Marv fretted over fitting everyone in. Dean held Sam on his hip and Cas stayed glued to his side. When the pictures were done, Dean sat on a chair. This was better than being cramped up inside. He looked at the sand buckets and shovels with envy. The damp towels hanging on every chair back and spot of railing. One bare glance from his dad had Dean on his feet and heading back inside. 

That night, Gabriel winked as he climbed into bed.

"Gabe," Dean said quietly, watching Cas get into bed.  
His sleeping bag had been washed and he had spent most of the day inside with Dean (grounded) once the aunts had found out he was up to something. Who knew you could get in trouble for trying to do laundry. Cas' mom, Naomi had caught him in the laundry room attempting to run the washing machine. 

Cas had barely settled back onto his pillow when his eyes widened. "Gabriel!"

Gabriel burst into laughter and Cas jumped out of bed.

"Gabriel, you are ridiculous," Raphael snapped, taking his pillow and sleeping bag and leaving the room. He must have found a bed with Luc and Michael, because he did not return. 

Cas took a shower and returned to the room, glaring at Gabe.

"Sorry," Gabe snickered, "you're just...it's just too easy!"

Cas looked at the empty top bunk and sighed.

"Sam," Dean nudged Sam awake. "Go sleep with Gabe. He's scared of the dark."

"Why?" Sam asked, yawning and getting to his feet but looking lost.

"No, I'm good," Gabe insisted.

"He doesn't want to admit he's scared," Dean whispered.

Sam nodded like a soldier on a mission. "I'll help him," he whispered.

"No, Sam, for real, I'm fine," Gabe said as Sam climbed the ladder and got under Gabe's covers to snuggle in.

Dean grinned up at Cas and scooted over, making room for him. Cas got in and laid down, the pair carefully not touching.

"You suck, Winchester," came Gabe's quiet voice.

"Don't worry Gabe, he only pees the bed once in a while anymore."

"Dude."

Cas and Dean broke into a fit of laughter.

"No more itching powder, Gabriel," Cas said.

"Fine!"

 

The third day of vacation was fun. Dean got up early and went fishing with his dad. Just the two of them. It was quiet and it was good.

They had lunch on the deck with the others when they got back. After Sam's nap, Dean took him to the lake with the other little kids and Naomi supervising. She spent a lot of time talking to Cas. She hardly let him move without talking over him, at him. Cas kept a straight face but you could see her lecturing wearing on him. She wasn't yelling at him, she was just hovering and making suggestions nonstop.

Dinner was burgers on the grill and potato salad, corn and cookies. Dean was excited because he was allowed to have a Pepsi with his dinner. Kate never let them have soda.

In their room, Gabe was in his bed, quiet and messing with something. Cas was reading a book to Sam. Dean took the quiet moment to grab a quick shower. When he came out, Gabe looked excited about something.

"Hey guys," Gabe blurted suddenly. "I just figured out how to use my timer on this camera! Let's get a picture of all four of us!"

"Yeah!" Sam clapped, jumping up.

Gabe scrambled down his bed ladder and looked around the room. "Here, if I prop it up on some books on Dean's dresser, we can stand in front of the door." He fiddled with the camera as Sam, Dean, and Cas got in front of their door. 

"What should we do?" Sam asked. "Smile, like normal? Do the superman pose?" He stood, looking at the camera bravely with his hands on his hips and chest puffed out.   
Gabe cracked up. "Let's do both, shortstack."

"We should line up by height," Cas suggested.

"Yeah, good idea," Gabe nodded. 

Gabe got in line first, then Dean, then Cas, then Sam. They all turned sideways, hands on hips, chests puffed out and looking like they were about to beat up some bad guys.

Click.

"Ok!" Dean laughed, "Normal smiles now."

Click.

"Hope shortstack isn't cut out of all the pictures," Gabe winked.

Sam looked horrified.

"Kidding," Gabe grinned. "Here, we'll do the tallest and the shortest."

Gabe stood in front of the door, Sam standing right in front of him, his head coming to mid sternum.

Click.

They got ready for bed and Dean noticed Cas had not touched his bed all day.

Sam crawled in bed and froze, looking at Dean. "Think Gabe is still scared?"

Dean shook his head. "I know he is. I saw him crying in the bathroom just a few minutes ago."

"I'll help him," Sam said bravely, getting up.

Dean gave him a thumb's up and a brave smile.

"What are you doing?" he heard Gabe say as Sam crawled into bed with him again.

"I'm sleeping with you."

"Why? Dean!"

"Guess he likes you better than me, Gabe," Dean laughed.

"Sam, go away!" Gabe yelled.

"It's okay to be scared, Gabe. I will protect you," Sam said, Dean dissolving into laughter. Cas came out of the bathroom and quickly put the scene together. Dean scooted over and Cas got in.

"This is stupid!" Gabe yelled, flopping back in defeat. There are four beds in here, four people, and only two beds are being used! Sam, go sleep in the other top bunk. Sam. Sam? Geez, my mighty protector is asleep."

Dean and Cas laughed.

"What are you laughing at Cassie?" Gabe snipped. "You could sleep over there."

"My sleeping bag and pillow are ruined, you assbutt," Cas said.

"Asswhat?" Gabe laughed, Dean laughing as well.

"Assbutt," Cas repeated, blushing.

"Aw, Cas doesn't know how to swear," Dean teased, elbowing him.

"It's asshole, you moron," Gabe laughed.

"Or butthole," Dean nodded. You gotta pick one. Not both."

Cas blushed harder. "I said what I meant. Assbutt."

Dean and Gabe laughed even harder. "Okay, stubborn much?" Dean teased again. "I bet you never swear!"

"I usually do not," Cas said seriously. "I don't like using bad words."

"Aw, he's so innocent!" Gabe laughed.

"He's only 7," Dean defended, still chuckling. "You're 9. It's a big difference."

"I guess," Gabe sighed, rolling over and getting comfortable. "This kid is like a heater. Or a giant puppy."

Dean elbowed Cas and grinned. "Yeah, and he drank a lot of soda tonight. Hope he stays dry."

Gabe sighed heavily and Cas grinned harder than Dean had ever seen him smile.

"I'll wash the sleeping bag tomorrow."

Dean held his hand out and Cas gave him a high-five. Victory was theirs.

 

Day 4 was rainy. The aunts loaded all 13 kids into two cars and they went to a nearby town with a movie theater. Posters lined the lobby for movies coming soon.

"I wish Masters of the Universe was out now," Gabe said, looking at the giant poster with He-Man and his upraised sword. 

"Me too," Dean and Michael agreed.

"I wanna see Full Metal Jacket," Dean mused, knowing the aunts would never go for it. It was rated R. His dad would let him watch it if Kate didn't know.

The cousins looked at him like he was weird for wanting to see a war movie.

"What, let me guess, you pansies wanna see Adventures in Babysitting."

"Sounds like a good pick for you little kids," Luc smirked. "But us big kids are going to see Spaceballs."

"I'm goin' to see that!" Dean grinned.

The aunts started handing out tickets and sorting into two groups.

Rachel smiled tightly. "Mike, Luc, Gabe, and Raphael, your movie starts in ten minutes right there," she pointed to an open door with a sign over it that read, Spaceballs.  
"The rest of us are headed this way," Rachel called, pointing toward another theater.

"Son of a-" Dean started. There was no way in hell he was missing Spaceballs for some dumb baby movie!  
Sam grabbed his hand with a big smile.

"Have fun babysitting!" Luc laughed and Gabe shrugged.

Jerks.

But he held Sam's hand and followed along. It might be rainy today, but tomorrow was going to be sunny and he had every intention of getting back out to the lake.

"This movie should be good," Cas said, in his typical serious tone as he sat in the seat next to Dean, Sam on his other side.

Previews were playing and Dean watched, knowing he would see none of these movies most likely. They rarely went to the movies. 

"Oh, this looks good!" Cas said excitedly. A preview for a comedy with knights and weird people was playing. Maybe. The title flashed onto the screen. The Princess Bride.

Dean scowled and looked at Cas. Cas turned a big grin toward him. "It's gonna be good."

"Dude!" Dean snapped, Cas' smile fading. "That's a girl movie! No wonder you get picked on so much."

"It has knights in it. Swords. You wait, it's gonna be good." He crossed his arms, looking resolutely at the screen.

Dean rolled his eyes and sat back. Lame. His life was lame. His weird cousins were lame. This movie was lame. Lame. Lame. Lame. Like a bursting valve, a wave of sadness filled him up. He missed his mom. He missed Benny. He wanted to go home. 

Sam laughed at the girl singing in her bedroom on the screen. He was almost too small to keep the seat down. It kept folding up on him and damn near swallowing him.  
The movie went on with some decent scenes. He took Sam to pee. He took Anna, Sam and Hannah to pee. By the end, Sam was sharing his seat because the damn thing had almost gobbled him whole twice. By the time they were done, Dean was ready to just go sit by the lake. By himself. He couldn't really figure out why he was feeling so miserable, but he knew he needed to get a grip. He might want to go home, but he wasn't. Not for two and a half more weeks. It seemed like forever.

Back to the cabin, Dean sought his dad out amongst the crowd. "Dad, can I go down to the lake? By myself?"

His dad gave him a narrowed look. "You alright, Dean?"

"I just need a break. All these little kids and I keep getting stuck with them. I won't get in the water, I'll be safe, I swear."

"Alright," he grinned. "Relax, little man. Take a walk, whatever. Be back here by 6:00."

"Okay," Dean nodded. He weaved his way out of the room and made a break for it. Finally, he had the lake and the woods to himself. Freedom.

 

 

Day 5 was a long, lazy day of swimming and playing in the woods with the older cousins. Dean had taken the opportunity to hang out with Gabe, Lucifer, Raphael, and Michael. They talked about school. What they liked, how gross lunch was, who had the worst teacher, and toys they had at home. 

It was late afternoon when Dean sprinted up the steps to use the bathroom. His weird-ass cousins didn't even pee in the woods. Dean had learned a lot about his older cousins today. What he had figured out is that he had summed them up correctly the instant he met them. He was very glad they did not go to school together. He had the distinct impression that they were bullies. Except maybe Gabe. They were rich kids. Spoiled, pampered, and mean. Dean suspected they were only being nice because they were told to be.

He came through the back door and was greeted by two sets of crying. Adam and Sam.

Sam stood next to the counter in the kitchen, tears running down his cheeks. His red, red cheeks. His shoulders and arms were red. He was sunburned. Bad. Kate was yelling. "I told you to get sunblock on! Didn't I!"

"Yesss," Sam whimpered.

Dean shut the door and headed toward his brother. 

"Dean," Kate said, seeing him, "Good, would you please pick Adam up. I can't do two things at once!"

She was getting ready to smear something white onto Sam's fire engine red skin and Sam started crying louder.  
She had mayonnaise on her hand and Dean thought that was bizarre. She spread the cold, white mayo down his shoulder and Sam screamed and tried to pull away but Kate grabbed his other wrist to hold him steady.

"Stop!" Dean yelled, Kate let go and threw her hand up in frustration. Sam stood, arms out like a scarecrow, shaking and crying. "I'll take care of Sam."

Kate gave him a frustrated look, took a deep breath and said, "Fine."

She washed her hand off, put the mayo away and picked up the screaming Adam.

"Oh dear," Naomi said, coming into the kitchen. Her look was judgmental and severe.

"Sam!" Dean snapped, breaking through the 4 year-old's sobs. "Man up. I'm gonna help. Just stop the waterworks." Dean gave him a pleading look and Sam attempted his hardest to stop crying.

"He got sunburned," Kate was saying to Naomi. "I told him to put sunblock on, but I guess he never did."

Naomi pressed her lips together, shaking her head in dismay. "Kate. He's 4. You should have done it."

"I had to watch Adam!" Kate snapped. 

"Well, when you have more than one child, you have to do two or three things at one time."

"I only have one child," Kate growled low, under her breath. 

"Let's go to the bathroom, Sam," Dean said, wanting away from them. All of them.

"Dean," Naomi said, her eyes pinning him in place. "I will bring you some aloe cream. It will help."

"Thanks," Dean nodded pointing toward the stairs, Sam heading for them stiffly.

In the bathroom, Dean peed while Sam stood there waiting. He flushed and washed his hands, glancing frequently at Sam. His face was so red. His back had welts forming at the top.

"Buddy," Dean said softly, Sam looking up at him, "didn't you feel yourself getting burnt?"

Sam shook his head no, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Okay, okay," Dean grinned.

"I want Mommy," Sam sniffled, his lip wobbling.

"If Mom were here, she'd hug you and that would hurt," Dean said quickly. "So, it's good she's not here. But by the time we see her, it won't hurt anymore."

"It's gonna hurt forever," Sam whined.

Dean huffed a laugh. "I ain't gonna lie, Sammy. It's gonna hurt today and tomorrow. Then, you won't even notice anymore."

Sam nodded.

"Now, I gotta be the bad guy and wipe that mayo off."

Sam bit his lip but only watched as Dean rinsed a washcloth with warm water. He hated making Sam cry. He hated seeing him in pain. He touched the cloth to Sam's shoulder.

"OWE!" Sam shrank back, bumping into the counter and crying harder as one of the welts he hit started oozing.

"Come on, Sammy," Dean said, making him make eye contact. "What would Dad say?"

Sam shivered out a sob and choked in a breath, pulling himself together. "He'd...he'd say, 'man up and be a soldier."

"That's right," Dean grinned.

"Okay, okay," Sam said. "Just do it."

Dean nodded and wiped the mayo off the hot skin. Heat poured from him like a heater.

"Here's the aloe," Naomi said, opening the door.

"Thanks," Dean said, taking the bottle.

Naomi seemed to judge him capable and almost smiled at him as she shut the door and left.

"Now, I'm gonna put this stuff on and it will help."

Sam shook his head no.

"Yes." Dean opened the lid and speared Sam with another eye lock before setting in on the horrible job of hurting his brother. "I gotta do it, Sam, it will make you better."

Sam frowned hard and looked away.

"Get angry then, young Skywalker," Dean said, quickly and lightly spreading the aloe down both arms. "Use that anger. Come to the dark side." Sam was too little to see Star Wars, but Dean had. And he had to amuse himself somehow. Otherwise, he'd be crying.

Dean winced at the welts on Sam's back but spread the aloe anyway.

Sam started shaking.

"I DON'T WANNA BE A SOLDIER! I HATE HER!"

"Hey, hey," Dean soothed, finishing quickly. "You're all done. You did it. No more!" Dean rushed, holding his hands up.

"It hurts!" Sam sobbed.

"I know, I know, buddy. Come on. What should we do now? You wanna play? Watch TV?"

Dean opened the stuffy bathroom door and Sam went into the empty bedroom.

"I wanna go home."

"Sam. Enough," Dean warned.

Sam's hands were in little, tight fists.

"How about you lay down. I'll read you whatever book you want."

Sam went to the bed and laid on his belly. "The Berenstein Bears," he said weakly.

Dean pulled three out of the stack Sam had brought. He was halfway through the messy room one when Sam finally fell asleep. Dean looked at his brother's small back. Clear fluid oozed from another welt. Now that Sam was out cold, his anger sparked anew.

Cas walked in the room, Dean holding up a finger for him to be quiet, which Cas always was anyway. Cas stepped closer to the bed, looking at Sam, his eyes growing wide. He looked at Dean with surprise. Dean just nodded. 

"Can you watch him for me?" Dean said quietly, handing Cas the book.

Cas nodded. "Of course."

Dean found his dad. He was on the deck, drinking a beer with Zachariah, Bart, and Marv.

"Dad, I need to talk to you."

His dad gave him a curious glance and got up from the chair he was sitting on. "What's up?"

Dean needed his dad to know just how bad Sam was. Just how evil Kate was. But he had to say it right or his dad would just yell. But he was just so angry. He was done with this trip. Done with this family. And done with Kate. He had left Sam with her for a few hours and THIS is what happened. She was a mean monster. No doubt about it. 

"We need to go."

His dad grinned, leaning back and laughing a little. "Go where?"

"Home. Kate let Sam get really burnt today. He needs to go home."

He watched as his dad's face firmed into a frown. "We're not going anywhere, Dean."

Dean huffed. "That stupid woman didn't take care of Sam today! She let him get burnt and then-"

Dean's head snapped back, pain blooming from his mouth. He blinked rapidly in shock, his hand reached up to his mouth. His dad had hit him in the mouth.

"You watch your mouth boy." His dad growled, teeth gritted. 

Dean's jaw dropped. "If I let Sam skin a knee, I get my ass beat! She let him get burnt! It's bad!"

Dean found himself shoved against the railing, his dad had his shirt fisted so tight Dean had to gulp for air. "Go inside."

He tossed Dean toward the door and Dean found his footing before falling. He pulled the door open and went into the living room. The uncles were watching him, none of them looking too surprised. 

Rachel and Hester, the two blonde aunts stopped what they were doing in the kitchen, watching.

"You just can't fit in, can you, boy," his dad gritted, following him inside. He pulled his belt off and Dean grit his teeth back just as hard.

"Sam's in bad shape, Dad," Dean tried one more time.

"He's fine. It's a sunburn."

"She hates us," Dean hissed.

"You are the only one causing problems here, Dean."

Dean watched as Mike, Luc, Raphael, and Gabe came in through the back door, freezing in their steps at the sight of Dean and his dad, his dad with belt in hand.

"Keep moving," his dad snapped at the four boys, who went up the stairs. "Turn around, Dean."

Dean turned around. His shorts were no protection from the stinging leather. Five stinging lashes. 

"John," one of the aunts said nervously.

"Mind your own business, Hester." His dad turned him around to face him. "Apologize."

Dean had to unlock his jaw. He had not cried and refused to ever cry again. "Sorry," he spat.

"For what?" John demanded.

"I have no fucking idea."  
He dodged the first punch this time but the second connected to his eye. He was thrown onto the couch and got five more strikes from the belt.

"Now what do you have to say?" John growled.

"Sorry," Dean said. "I'm sorry for causing trouble. Sir."

John let him go and Dean walked stiffly to the stairs. All four of his dickwad cousins were standing in the stairwell looking surprised.

Dean pushed them out of the way and went up the stairs and into his room. 

Sam still slept and Cas stood up, looking shocked. "Dean!"

"I'm fine," Dean snapped, heading into the bathroom. His hands shook as he twisted the faucet and splashed cold water on his face. He breathed out slowly and opened his eyes. He jumped, seeing Cas standing quietly behind him.

"Jesus, Cas!"

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"What do you want? Just go away."

Cas reached around him and put a washcloth under the cold water. "If you add salt, it helps it not to swell."

"What do you know about black eyes?" Dean snapped.

"Plenty," Cas said quietly, handing him the cold cloth. "Want me to get salt?"

Dean blinked, taking the cloth and pressing it to his eye. Cas' eyes were dark. Haunted with a knowing look. "No. It'll be fine."

He watched as Cas rinsed another washcloth with cold water and handed it to him. "Your lip."

Dean pressed the cold cloth to his mouth, eyes closing at the cold comfort.

They went back to the bedroom and sat quietly while Sam slept.

Gabe came in an hour later. He had a six pack of Pepsi, a bag of Doritos's and a plate of hotdogs. There was no jaunt to his step or smirk on his face. "Dinner."

 

That night passed quietly. Dean and Cas did their best to keep Sam comfortable. He was still in a lot of pain, so he slept in Cas' bed alone, Cas sleeping with Dean.

"You didn't have to stay cooped up in here with us," Dean said.

Cas reached up, touching the fragile, crisp daisy that hung there. "I don't mind."

Cas turned, looking at him. They laid that way for several moments. A level of understanding settled between the two. 

 

Day 6 was long and quiet. Sam was miserable most of the day. Kate came in to check on him, looking nervous. She returned soon after with Hester. The pair put more aloe on him and took his temperature. He had a slight fever. They gave him Tylenol and left the boys to keep an eye on him.

"I'm bored," Sam sighed. Dean had read all the kids books Sam had brought. 

"I have an idea," Cas said. "I brought a book to read...but you might be too young for it."

"I'm not!" Sam said, "What is it?"

"It's a long book. About a dragon. But...it might be too scary."

"No, I won't get scared, will I, Dean?"

Dean shrugged, "I think he can handle it."

Cas made a dramatic production out of finding the book and holding it in his hands. "Are you sure?"

"Dude, that book is huge! You can't read that!" Dean laughed.

"I can, I think," Cas nodded. "Ready?"

"Yes," Sam said seriously.

Cas read The Hobbit for hours that day. He stumbled through much of it, but did his best, which was better than Dean could have done. Sam asked so many questions. Cas answered every one patiently. Dean left from time to time to bring food, with Gabe's help. The uncles seemed to regard him with a shake of their heads and the aunts with their judgey looks. He avoided them all.

 

 

Day 7 started before dawn. They packed their things and loaded the car. Sam was feeling better, his back still red and swollen in spots. His shoulders, arms and face were peeling but fine now.

The house was busy, kids going to and fro, adults up and down the steps. Dean packed his and Sam's bags and gathered all their toys.

"See ya, Winchester," Gabe grinned. "Stay outta trouble."

"Doubtful," Dean smirked back. "Bye, Gabe."

Cas gave Sam a careful hug. "Do you promise?" Sam asked.

"I promise, Sam," Cas swore.

"Promise what?" Dean asked.

"I promised not to read any more of The Hobbit until we are here next summer."

Dean nodded. "See you next summer. Maybe."

"I hope so. I'm not sure I could survive a week of Gabriel without you."

The pair chuckled. Dean was actually going to miss the guy. He was pretty cool, really. Cas hugged him very quickly and ran to his own car. Yep. Weird. And cool.  
He wondered if he would see any of them again.

 

Note: I LOVE 4 year old Sam! He is too cute! Sweet little   
Cas, mischievous Gabe, and Dean, the little man that he is.


	2. 1989

Chapter 2. 1989

It's been two years since the Winchesters were on vacation. Why did they miss last year? And Dean is double digits now. And being 10, he should hang out with the older cousins instead of all the babies. Right?

Cousins and Ages

Michael 15  
Luc 14  
Raphael 14  
Cloe 14  
Lottie 12  
Gabriel 11  
Attie 10  
Dean 10  
Cas 9  
Hannah 8  
Anna 7  
Sam 6  
Adam 2

 

3rd week of July, 1989

 

Dean fiddled with the army man he kept in his ashtray. Sam tossed a tennis ball at him, knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Knock it off, dweeb," Dean said, throwing the ball back at him. 

"I hope we can swim." Sam looked back out the window.

"Me too," Dean added. The first time they went on this family vacation to Lake Alapmi, he had gotten in trouble almost as soon as they got there and things went down hill after that. This year would be better. He and Sam actually knew what the hell was going on this year. 

Sam had quit crying for their mom. Pretty much. Their dad had purposely not taken them on this trip last summer. He and Kate had gotten into a huge fight before the trip. Only Kate and Adam went. She came home early and cried. A lot. Their dad had actually stuck up for them and refused to take them if her family was going to act like they did last time, including her. Dean was glad. He didn't really want to go. It sounded all great when they talked about it. Lake blah, blah, fun blah, blah, cousins blah, blah. Sam had been disappointed they didn't go. Dean assured him that the lake was cold, they were hardly ever allowed in it, the aunts and uncles kept a tight lid on 'fun'. And their cousins were...weird. Bunch of rich-kid bullies. Except maybe Gabe. And Cas. Maybe.

"The lake is beautiful," Kate said. "We can teach you how to swim."

Sam bounced in his seat a bit, lining little green soldiers up on his windowsill. For some reason, there were ten to fifteen little green soldiers in the back seat at any given time. Sam had six lined up and a seventh sitting not-so-innocently between them. Dean started scanning the foot wells for stray soldiers. There were two he could see. He feigned leaning forward to pick up a hat by his foot, snagging the two soldiers. When he turned to sit the soldier on the seat, Sam already had three aimed at his leg.

"Cheater," Dean shook his head.

"I'm just quicker," Sam smirked.

They had a particularly bloody scrimmage, where even though out-numbered, he kicked Sam's butt.

"Ugh," Sam sighed in defeat. "You always win."

"I'm ten. You're six," Dean laughed. "If I lost, I would have to be an idiot."

Sam rolled his eyes. 

 

"Apparently Zachariah's boys were asking about you both," Kate said, grinning.

Dean doubted that. Kate was on her very best behavior. After last summer's fiasco, she was being extra nice and extra happy about anything to do with Lake Alapmi. 

"How many cousins are there?" Sam asked, looking at Dean. 

"A million. And they're all girls," Dean joked. "I guess there's like...ten?"

"Huh," Sam shrugged.

"You don't remember any of them?" Dean asked.

Sam thought for a moment. "I remember Gabriel. He read to me. A lot."

"No," Dean laughed, "I'm not even sure Gabriel can read. You're thinking of Cas."

"Cas," Sam shook his head. "All I remember is getting sunburned. And lots of books."

"You were pretty little. This trip will be a lot better," Dean added, watching the trees grow thicker on both sides of the road. Adam was standing on Kate's lap, peeking at Dean over the front seat. Dean stuck his tongue out at the squirmy toddler and Adam laughed, scrunching down and popping back up. Dean did it again, making Adam laugh. He grinned at his half brother and was glad he was up front instead of terrorizing the back seat, which he had already done for hours.

"Dad," Dean leaned forward to ask, "can I go outside whenever I want?" He wanted to avoid what happened last time they were here. At home, no one cared where he and Sam were. As long as they showed up for dinner and got their chores done, no one bugged them. His aunts and uncles were very different. They were super strict. Making Kate and his dad act more strict than normal. 

"As long as it's daylight, I suppose you can," his dad answered.

"I don't think that's a good idea, John," Kate said, looking worried.

Here we go.

"It's just that, I know the others will be extra careful about letting their kids go outside alone. They aren't as...street-smart as Dean."

His dad huffed a sigh. "Fine. Come ask one of us first. Then we'll see."

Dean nodded, slumping back in his seat. He hoped Gabriel and Cas were both here. 

The cabin came into view, the water stretching out behind it. 

"Cool! I see the lake!" Sam cheered. "Wow! Look at that cabin! It's so big!" 

Dean could see some of the cousins sitting on the top deck and they waved as the car pulled to a halt.

Dean snapped the ashtray shut, closing the soldier inside. He closed his eyes for a quick breath and told himself, 'Lot of kids, loud house, asshole adults. It's gonna be fine. I'm gonna be good. It's gonna be fine.'

Sam started running for the lake. 

"Sam!" Their dad snapped.

Sam skidded to a halt, eyes wide.

"Get back here and help carry your things upstairs. You are not allowed to go to that lake unless I say so. Or Kate. Or an adult. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Sam nodded, changing steps and heading for the trunk to take his things.

Dean hefted his duffel bag onto his shoulder and took his sleeping bag and pillow. Sam followed suit and waited for Dean. 

They climbed the tall set of wooden steps to the deck, smiling at the huge, greenish lake that looked ready to jump in. They went in through the sliding glass door and several adults were sitting around one of the tables, one of the aunts was making a pitcher of sun tea.

"Kate!" Several called out, Kate starting to hug the women. 

"Adam is getting so big!" The friendly brown-haired aunt grinned. "And Sam and Dean! You have grown so much!"

Dean grinned. What else was he supposed to do? Kids grew. It was kinda their job.

"Boys, you remember my brothers Zachariah, Bartholomew, and Marv. Each of the men waved. Zachariah with his wide, excited eyes that were cold when you looked carefully, Bartholomew with his shark-like grin, looking like he could chew your arm off if nobody was looking, and Marv. Marv looked scruffy compared to his brothers. He always smiled like he already knew what you were going to say. He had a kind of creepiness to him that made Dean not want to ever be alone in a room with him.  
Another man sat at the table that Dean had not seen before. He had short, curly hair and he looked nervous. He was chewing a thumb nail and his busy eyes were watching out the window. "Oh, this is Chuck, Raphael and Castiel's dad. I don't think he came the year you boys were here." Chuck glanced over and waved, Sam waved back and Dean gave him a chin nod.

"And I'm sure you remember Hester, Naomi, and Rachel."

The three aunts smiled and Sam and Dean both waved, saying 'hello' in unison.

Hester. Gabe's mom. Dirty-blonde hair. She had yelled at him once or twice last time. Naomi. Cas' mom. Intense mom but gave them aloe cream for Sam. Rachel. Had the two girls that followed them everywhere last time. Anna and Hannah. Teacher voice and super strict. There was another aunt in the kitchen with brown hair. Seemed nice. Dean had missed her name and she was Bartholomew's wife and the mom of the three girls that didn't talk to anyone.

"We're so glad you all could make it this year," Rachel said with a tight grin.

"Us too," Kate nodded.

"Same room as last time?" Dean asked, starting to move toward the steps.

"Yes," Rachel smiled. "Same room as last year and same rules, boys."

"Yes, ma'am," Dean and Sam replied automatically. They headed for the steps.

He had known how uptight and stuffy the aunts and uncles were. And still, it was unnerving with their fake smiles and super clean clothes. Their rules and their-

Dean stopped in his tracks at the top of the steps. It looked like the Barbie aisle at Toys 'R us exploded in the upper living room. Anna, Hannah, Attie, and Lottie stopped, looking at them. The other girl, Cloe stepped out of her room. "Hello," she said primly.

"Hey," Dean nodded.

Anna, he remembered from her bright red hair, jumped up to her feet. "Hi Sam! Hi Dean! I remember you guys!"

Sam looked surprised and stepped closer to Dean.

"Hi Anna," Dean grinned.

"Do you remember me, Sam?" She asked.

Sam looked at her with wide eyes, shaking his head no.

"We're just gonna unpack," Dean said stepping around her.

"Is Adam here?" She asked.

"Yep. Down with the aunts." Several of the girls headed downstairs. 

Dean headed into the room with two bunk beds. There was a sleeping bag on the top bunk of one, probably Gabe's and one on the bottom of the opposite bunk. Probably Cas'.

"Top or bottom bunk, Sammy?"

"Top!" He said excitedly. 

Dean took his sleeping bag and pillow and put it on the empty top bunk as Sam climbed the ladder. "Where'd I sleep last time?"

Dean glanced around the room, putting his own stuff on the empty bottom bunk. "You kinda slept everywhere."

"Why?" Sam said, like that was crazy.

"Raphael was in that bed last time. So you and I had to share.

"Nu uh," Sam said, giving Dean a worried look.

"Ya huh," Dean smirked. "Then you slept with Gabe a couple nights cause he's scared at night."

"You're lying," Sam rolled his eyes.

"Am not," Dean laughed.

"That's gross."

"You're gross, booger brain," Dean teased. "Then you slept in Cas' bed, not with Cas though, cause you were so sun burned you couldn't stand anyone to touch you.

"Well, I'm staying up here. This is my bed for me," Sam said.

Dean glanced up at him and shrugged. It didn't happen near as often as it used to, but sometimes Dean woke up to find Sam in bed with him. Usually only on bad days. Or when their dad and Kate were fighting. They didn't talk about it. Sam would just get up like nothing was unusual and Dean really didn't care. But here, it might get them both made fun of.

"God, I hope so! I certainly don't need you hogging my bed!"

Dean grinned. "Gabe!"

"Man, I'm glad you guys came this year!" Gabe messed up Sam's hair and climbed up his ladder perching on top of his bed. His hair was still floppy and he had that same mischievous grin.

"Me too. Sam, this is Gabe." He should warn his brother that Gabe was a prankster, but what the heck. He'd figure it out sooner or later.

"Still wettin' the bed, shortstack?"

Sam's eyes grew big. "No! Gross!"

"Yeah, well, last time it was a concern," Gabe said, making Dean laugh.

"Dean! Sam!" 

Dean turned to the doorway seeing Cas standing there with a grin. His eyes were so blue that it made you look at him twice.

"You're here!"

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, shocked when the kid hugged him and stepped back quickly.

"I remember you," Sam said. "You read to me. A lot."

"Yeah," Cas grinned up at him. "I brought the book we started. Do you remember it?"

Sam shook his head. "Was it about little people?"

"Yes," Cas nodded. "The Hobbit."

Sam scrunched his face. "I don't really remember much of it."

Cas looked at Dean. "I don't remember any of it," Dean admitted.

Cas nodded. "We'll have to start over."

Sam nodded excitedly but Dean was ready to be outside already.

"You two have fun with that. I'm goin' outside."

"Hey," Gabe said, jumping down, "why didn't I get a hug when you saw me, Cassie?"

Cas' blue eyes narrowed onto Gabriel. "Because I don't really like you, Gabriel."

The three started laughing.

"Dang," Dean grinned, shoving Gabe's shoulder. "What did you do to him?" 

"Me? I'm innocent here!" Gabe pretended to be shocked.

"Let me guess," Dean looked back at Cas, "more itching powder?"

"Yes!" Cas glared at Gabe.

"You two are crazy," Dean laughed going around Cas and out into the living room. He stepped over tiny clothes and Barbies and pink things until he got to the back door and pulled it open, stepping out onto the deck.

"And there's the Winchesters," Micheal smirked. He was a lot taller and looked a lot different. Not like a kid. Like a teenager for sure.

"Hi, Mike," Dean said.

"We missed you last summer," Luc said sarcastically. "It just wasn't the same without you! How old are you now?"

 

"Ten," Dean said, feeling like he wasn't nearly old enough to even talk to these guys. What had he been thinking? 

"How old are you?" 

Luc smirked. "14. Mike will be 16 soon and then we can really have some fun, right, Mikey? Take the car for a spin?"

"Not likely," Michael said, not bothered by his brother. 

Raphael sat at the outside table as well. He never smiled. And he looked at Dean like he was a bug. How him and Cas were brothers, adopted or not, was weird. The two were so different. Then again, and Cas was just different from everybody.

Gabriel had followed him out to the deck and Dean was starting to feel awkward. "What are you guys doing?" 

Dean asked, trying to see if this was gonna go anywhere.

"Nothin'," Luc grinned. "Just killin' time."

Dean nodded. "Been to the lake yet?" 

"No," Michael snapped. "Why don't you kids go down to the lake and play."

Dean scowled. 

"Now Mikey," Luc grinned, "you don't tell a bunch of little kids to go jump in a lake. They might do it. Then what would you do?"

"Boys," came the sharp crack of Zachariah's voice as he reached the top of the steps. Luc grinned, looking his dad in the eyes, Michael looked away, over the railing with a frown. 

"Michael, make yourself useful and get the grill ready for dinner. Gabriel, quit starting trouble."

Dean looked confused at Gabe, who just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Michael followed his dad down the steps and Luc's eyes shifted back to Dean, grin still in place. "Want to smoke?"  
Smoke? Dean was surprised when Luc pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered him one.

"Knock it off, Luc," Gabe said.

Dean stared at the cigarette. It would make him fit in with the bigger kids. But Gabe wasn't into it either and he was 11. "Nah," Dean said, stepping back and bumping into Gabe.

Luc sat there with that smile like an alligator as Dean went back inside, Gabe on his heels. 

It wasn't worth it. The older cousins might be cooler about some things, but they were still dicks.

"Stay away from my brothers, Dean," Gabe said, more serious than usual. "They will only get you in trouble."  
Dean nodded. "So, what should we do?"

"Let's ask my dad if we can go down to the lake."

Gabe nodded and Dean headed for the steps, then stopped. "We should take Sam."

"Not Shortstack! He'll be wet in no time!"

"Who cares!" Dean laughed, Gabe rolling his eyes.

They went downstairs, milling around until they found his dad out on the deck.

"Dad, can me and Gabe and Sam go down to the lake?"

"Sure," he said, opening a beer. "Keep an eye on your brother."

"I will. Oh, and Cas too. Can he come?"

"Who?" His dad asked, looking lost. He didn't know who any of the kids really were. "Sure, just watch 'em."

"You care if we get wet?"

"It's a lake," his dad laughed, "go for it."

Dean nodded, running up the steps with Gabe on his heels. They went into the bedroom, finding Sam and Cas in awkward company. Sam looked relieved that Dean was back.

"Come on, my dad said we can go down to the lake." 

Dean said, pulling his trunks out of his still packed duffel bag.

Gabe followed suit and Sam cheered and unzipped his bag, digging.

Cas looked nervous. "I better not. But thank you."

Dean pulled his shirt off, tossing it on his bed. "Why not? You gotta ask your mom or dad?"

Cas nodded.

"Alright, just gimme a sec, I'll go with you," Dean said, going in the bathroom to switch from jeans to swimming trunks. He tossed them on the bed and waved for Cas to follow him. "Get changed, Sammy."

The pair headed downstairs again. This was a pain in the butt, but he wasn't losing lake time this year. He had to do stuff the 'Milton' way.

He found Naomi at the table playing cards with Kate and Rachel.

"What's your last name?" Dean asked Cas.

"Novak," Cas said with a confused look.

"Mrs. Novak?" Dean said as he stepped up next to her.

She turned her intense eyes on him, slightly surprised he had spoken to her. "May I take Cas down to the lake?   
Gabe and Sam are coming as well."

"Oh, I don't know." She looked suspicious.

"We'll stay in sight of the cabin. I'm a good swimmer. I'll keep an eye on him. I'll be watching Sam anyway, so it's really no problem."

 

She watched him carefully. Dean was sure he had covered all his bases. 

"Oh, and we will put sun block on," Dean added.

She grinned. "Well...alright."

Dean grinned. Ha! He did it!

"But I do expect you and Gabriel to keep an eye on them," Naomi said sternly.

"Yes, ma'am," Dean grinned.

"Did you ask your dad first?" Kate asked.

"I did. He said yes," Dean nodded.

Kate grinned. "Good. Have fun."

Dean dodged through the living room and up the stairs before Naomi remembered to put a time limit on it or add any rules. Cas followed close behind all the way back to their room. Gabe and Sam sat waiting in their trunks with towels.

"Thanks, Dean!" Cas said, pulling a drawer open, "I can't believe she's letting me go!"

"Yeah, well, don't even freakin' scratch yourself on anything. One wrong move could ruin it for the rest of the week."

Cas nodded, heading into the bathroom to change. It was weird how different they were. Cas was 9 and still acted like one of the little kids sometimes. His mom was too strict. She was turning him into a baby. He was only a few months younger than Dean, and Dean felt way more mature than Cas. Or Gabe for that matter.

Changed with old sneakers and towels, Dean grabbed sun block and they headed out. 

"I wanna go swimming!" Anna jumped up, looking panic stricken.

Shit. Hannah looked up as well.

"Not today. At least not with me today. Maybe tomorrow."

She looked so disappointed that Dean stopped in his tracks.

"Not today, Anna banana," Gabe said, pressing Dean forward from behind. "Tomorrow, I promise!"

Dean headed out the back door, not looking back at the sad face he knew was there.

"Aw, the kids are swimming," Luc grinned, blowing smoke as he talked. "Aren't they cute?"

Dean wanted to flip him off, but didn't.

"Oh yeah, looks like you're really having tons of fun up here in your cage," Gabe smirked. 

Dean wished he was as quick with come-backs as Gabe. He glanced back as he went down the steps. Michael, Luc, and Raphael did look like they were sitting in a big wooden cage on the top deck. How boring. Maybe being ten wasn't so bad.

"Hey Gabe," Dean huffed, finally getting to the grass.

"Yo."

"When we're 15 and 14, like your brothers, we gotta swear to be doing cooler stuff than sitting around on the deck smoking and being stupid."

"Deal!" Gabe laughed, jogging toward the lake now.

Sam kicked his shoes off and took one lunging step toward the water. Dean snatched him by a tiny wrist, Sam snapping to a stop.

"Freeze, bird brain."

"Owe! Jeez, Dean," Sam scowled, yanking his wrist away.

"Sun block," Dean grinned, holding up a bottle.

Sam rolled his eyes but stepped closer so Dean could coat him all over. He had two scars on his back from the time he had burnt so badly.

"Face," Dean said, Sam closing his eyes, looking up at Dean.

"Tops," Sam said.

Dean got one last dollup of lotion and did the tops of Sam's ears, his nose, his shoulders and the tops of his feet. "There, done."

"Thanks!" Sam yelled running for the water.

He proceeded to put sun block on himself, the three passing the bottle back and forth until they were all done.

"Where were you guys last year?" Gabe asked.

"Kate and my dad had a fight. So, we didn't come."

"I knew it," Gabe smirked, nodding at Cas, who only looked down at his towel.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Aunt Kate said your dad was too busy to come and that you guys were with your mom. But I knew she was lying.   
She probably just didn't want to hear it from the aunts and uncles."

"Kate's not your mom?" Cas asked.

"No dumbass," Gabe laughed, "I told you that. His parents are divorced.

"I know you told me, Gabriel," Cas glared back, "but I don't believe anything you say."

Gabe laughed.

"Jeez, Gabe, you better watch pickin' on him so much. He's gonna get you back. And no, Cas. Kate is NOT my mom. She's married to my dad. And Adam is their kid."

"Where's your mom?" Cas asked.

 

"Sam and I live with our mom in Kansas. When I get out of school, I get one week at home, then Sam and I have to live in Minnesota with dad and Kate and Adam all summer. Then we go home for school."

"That sounds...I don't think I would like that," Cas said quietly.

"Beats living in one house where your parents scream at each other all the time," Dean huffed.

Cas nodded.

Dean would have snapped even more, but he remembered Cas getting him a cold washcloth for his eye. Cas knew something about living in a shitty home. So he left it at that. "Where do you live?"

"Illinois," Cas answered.

"Huh. Is Raphael as mean as he looks?" Dean asked.   
The kid was quiet and dangerous looking. It made him wonder.

Cas glanced back toward the house. "He is very...yes. He's mean. But it's way worse when he smiles. That's when you know you're in big trouble."

 

Dean watched as Sam splashed water and spun in a circle. "Where do you live, Gabe?"

"Iowa. It's soooo boring. And the sisters of fate live there too. Same school and everything."

"Who?" Dean asked.

Gabe got to his feet. "The sisters of fate. Our cousins Cloe, Lottie, and Attie. They're so weird. They decide what they think of you as soon as you meet them and you're done. They don't speak to any of the boys."

Dean laughed. "They are weird! I thought it was just me that thought that!"

"Man, they move all together like robots. I think they are robots!"

All three of them laughed at that. 

"How bout the other two girls, Anna and Hannah?"

"I think they live in Ohio," Gabe said. "I don't know. I know I'm gettin' hot. Let's swim!"

Cas and Dean jumped up, wading into the lake. The water was cold and Sam started splashing Dean.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, fending him off. "You are gonna get it!" 

Sam tried wading away but Dean snatched him up, plunging them both under water. Sam kicked away, laughing, Dean splashing him back. Kate was an idiot for thinking she could 'teach Sam how to swim'. Dean had taught him years ago. The kid could swim like a fish.

They got a ball and played for hours before Cas' mom came to tell them they needed to clean up for dinner.

Naomi checked Cas from head to toe when he came out of the water. No cuts. No burns. No problems. "Did you have fun?" She asked.

"Yes," Cas nodded, drying himself off. She went up to the cabin with him while the other three toweled off on the grass.

"Aunt Naomi needs to chill," Dean said.

"Yeah, thought my mom was bad," Gabe laughed.

"She's messin' him up. We gotta help him," Dean decided.

"But he's so easy to pick on," Gabe sighed.

 

"Yeah, too easy. Find someone more challenging," Dean shoved Gabe over a step and Gabe laughed. 

"Fine. Take all my fun away!"

 

After dinner that night, they all headed down to the shore of the lake for a bonfire. The aunts and uncles made marshmallows and s'mores. They were so good. The day had gone really well. "Sam, you want another-" Dean turned to look at Sam and he was fast asleep. He shook his head. Once he was out, there was usually no going back. It was gonna be a long climb carrying him up all those steps. "You want another marshmallow, Anna?" 

She nodded, watching him stab the white block onto a stick and hold it into the fire.

"Light or burn it?" He grinned, her hair so flaming red it was ridiculous.

"Burn it!" She clapped.

"Atta girl," Dean laughed. She was probably his favorite of all the girls. Hannah was alright, the other three were just creepy and no fun at all.

 

She watched with big eyes as he blew the flaming ball out and handed her the stick.

 

After the snacks were gone, the aunts started telling their kids to go to bed. Dean watched as Rachel carried Anna up, putting them to bed. Kate had taken Adam in awhile ago and stayed in. Dean stood up, trying to wake Sam up, but no luck. He picked him up and headed toward the steps. He was too big for all this carrying, but what else was he supposed to do?

Dean struggled up the first set of steps, slowing everyone down behind him.

"What's the hold up?" Luc asked, pushing his way up.

Dean stepped aside, panting.

"I'll take him," Luc said, seeing the problem.

Before Dean could even say no, Luc had hefted Sam up and walked away. Dean frowned, but followed behind. 

"He's just helping," Gabe said.

And actually, he did help. He even put him up in the top bunk. 

"Thanks, Luc," Dean said.

"Hey, I'm not all bad," he grinned, leaving the room.

Cas approached his sleeping bag warily. Dean laid down, watching.

Cas ran a hand over his sleeping bag and frowned. 

"Damnit, Gabriel!"

Gabriel laughed like a maniac. Cas looked over at Dean, shoulders slumping.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "He's not gonna stop until you stop him, Cas."

Cas looked up at Gabe, who was still laughing. He seemed to be fighting in his own head until he finally made up his mind. He grabbed his sleeping bag and sprang up the side of their bunk so fast that Dean barely saw what was coming, let alone Gabriel, who wasn't even looking.

"Think you're funny?" Cas growled.

 

From the impressions and movement on the bunk above him, Dean could tell that Cas was smothering Gabe with the powdered sleeping bag.

"No! No!" Gabriel fought back. 

"Stop putting itching powder in my bed!" Cas growled again.

"Alright! I swear! Never again!" Cas climbed down the side of the bunk and pulled his shirt off. He went out of the room and came back in with another sleeping bag.  
"If you put itching powder in this sleeping bag, Gabriel," Cas threatened.

"Dude, I won't! " Gabe swore. "Damnit this shit is itchy."

Dean stifled a laugh, not wanting in the fight. Cas' old sleeping bag fell to the floor. Gabe was scrooching around in bed and Dean knew exactly why.

"Shit," Gabe said, after several more minutes. He got up and got a shower.

"Way to go, Cas," Dean laughed.

"I should have done that two years ago."

"Oh well. No more itchy bed this trip."

 

Day 2 started with fishing. This time Gabe came along with Dean and his dad. Sam and Cas were sound asleep, neither one wanting to come along. It was quiet and they fished from the bank.

"They rent boats here to take out too, Dean," his dad said.

"Awesome! Can we do that?"

"Maybe. Get some father-son time," he said, his eyes narrowing on Gabe who was kicking at some grass, his pole forgotten.

Dean smirked. Gabe had no patience for fishing. "Yeah, just you and me would be good."

 

They were done by lunch time (Gabe having gone back to the cabin three hours ago) and ate sandwiches and chips with the rest of the family. The other uncles talked about going fishing, but Dean could tell it was fake. 

Bartholomew, Zachariah, and Marv were never gonna bait a hook or fish. Come to think of it, he never saw any of them even in the water at all. Chuck didn't fake it. He just shook his head no. He was one strange bird though. He was always kinda off on his own and looked lost in thought.

"Want to go swimming?" Cas said from beside him.

"Sure."

"I already asked my mom and your dad. We can go when you're done eating."

"You asked my dad?" Dean smirked. 

Cas nodded, shoving his last chip in his mouth. "Your dad is scary."

Dean laughed. Yeah. All his friends were scared of his dad. Even Benny had trouble talking to him for too long. 

"Your dad is...weird," Dean said, watching Chuck mumble by the window.

Cas followed his gaze. "He's nice. He's a writer. He's always busy thinking. And writing."

Dean nodded. "What's he write about?"

"No idea," Cas said, stealing the last chip off Dean's plate. 

"Come on, let's go."

"Get off my plate, Cas!" Dean snapped. He got a handful of chips from the bag in front of him and rolled his eyes when Cas stuck his tongue out at him. He had told Cas to suck it up and deal with Gabe, now he had created a monster, maybe.

"Gabe, you coming?" Dean called.

"Yep."

"And me!" Sam jumped up.

"Me too," Anna called.

Dean threw Gabe a look. Act like jerks and run? Or take her along?

"Come on then," Gabe shook his head. "Aunt Rachel?   
Can Anna-"

"Me too!" Hannah said, standing up.

"Can Hannah and Anna swim with us?"

 

Rachel pressed her lips tight, hands on her hips. "I'll get them ready and come down with you."

"Okay," Gabe shrugged, the rest of the group running like a herd upstairs, across the Barbie land mines, and into their room to change.

Gabe, Dean, and Cas played ball while Rachel hung around with Hannah, Anna, and Sam. When Rachel went inside, they helped the kids make mud pies and chase little minnows in the shallows.

Kate brought Adam out for awhile, but he kept wanting to go too far in the water. Kate didn't want to get her hair wet. Eye roll.

"Here," Dean said, offering to take him. "I'll walk him out a ways, then bring him back."

Kate smiled and handed him over. Dean waded out into the water, letting Adam splash and kick and be a general nuisance while Kate watched. She wasn't a terrible step mom. She just wasn't a good one. He had another friend with divorced parents and he said it was like having a mom1 and a mom2. There was no way Kate was earning a mom title. But she was better than she used to be. Especially if Dean helped with Adam. And when she was mean, he wouldn't help with Adam. He was figuring her out. She was always busy. Busy being busy. Dean pulled Adam through the water and dunked him down to his chin, making him laugh and splash. He waded back to shore, handing Adam back, his face dropping in a pout.

"Thanks, Dean," she said, smiling at him for real.

"No problem," he said, heading back to his friends.

They ate dinner on the deck that night, leaving to go back to the lake when they were done. The girls had gone in with their mom, but Sam stayed with them. The older three came down to jump in and cool off. They hit the ball with them for a little while, but soon left. They got out as evening set in, the warm air cooling off.

"Man, I can't wait to be a teenager," Dean mused, watching the three go up the steps.

"Why?" Gabe said, putting a lollipop in his mouth and laying back on his towel. "Teenagers suck. They're mean. Grumpy. They always want stuff they can't have and they talk about girls all the time. I'd rather be a kid. Have fun. Play all day."

Dean grinned. "Okay. You got a good point there. I just wanna drive. I can. My dad showed me how."

"You can drive?" Gabe looked surprised, then suspicious.

"Not real good. I can keep it on the right side of the road for like, ten miles on a back road."

Gabe laughed. "Your dad is so cool!"

Dean smirked. Yeah. He was cool sometimes.

Cas and Sam came back from exploring. "Cas took me to this dam over there," Sam pointed. "It's so cool!"

"Yeah?" Dean grinned. "I wanna see it!"

The four followed the lake edge until they cut back into the woods a short way. An inlet from the lake was damed up, making a small pool. The wall of sticks and mud was pretty sturdy.

"Look," Cas said, stepping up beside him, "I found a honeysuckle bush. Did you ever eat them?"

"Yeah," Dean said, taking several.

"Do what now?" Gabe asked, looking at them like they were crazy.

"Here," Cas said, handing him several blossoms. "Try it. Watch." He demonstrated how to pull the long part out and pull the tiny drop of 'honey' off.

"Mm!" Gabe's face broke into a wide smile. "It's like candy!"

"Like honey," Cas corrected.

They all tasted a few and headed back toward the cabin.

"Guys," Gabe said quietly, all four stopping. "Don't tell Luc and Michael about the dam. They'll just wreck it."

Dean nodded. Figured as much.

"Why?" Cas looked horrified. "Why would they do that?"

"To be mean," Gabe shrugged. "I don't know. Just don't tell them."

They all nodded, heading inside to clean up.

Dean shoved the last four honey suckles under the wooden slat above his head in his bunk while he waited to shower. 

 

Day 3 started before dawn. Dean went out with his dad in the boat. They caught a few fish, but agreed the fishing was better in Minnesota. 

 

That afternoon, the boys walked to the dam to check on it. 

"Let's keep going," Sam said, pulling Dean's hand and looking into the woods excitedly.

"No," Dean shook his head. "We don't got permission. This is far enough."

"Dad won't care," Sam said, frowning.

"I know," Dean frowned back, "but Cas' parents will and Gabe's parents will. So we don't go any further."

Cas bit his lip. "It's supposed to rain this weekend. We can wait until before it rains. Go for an adventure, then when we get caught, it wont matter because it'll be rainy anyway."

"Yeah!" Sam cheered, his face lighting up again.

"That's a bad idea, Cas," Dean warned.

"It'll work," Gabe nodded, his smile growing.

 

"Yes!" Sam jumped, giving Cas a high-five and heading back to the cabin.

Nothing would probably happen. Cas would chicken-out before then. Gabe too.

That evening, the aunts arranged everyone on the deck for family pictures. At the end, they did several with a tripod and a timer, so everyone could be in it.

When they were let go, the boys all went for a walk around the lake with the uncles. 'Milton family tradition', Zachariah called it. The path was worn and pretty much like walking on a sidewalk. Zachariah would stop every so often and explain something about nature. Michael looked politely interested, Raphael slightly less so. Luc looked suicidally bored. Gabe was distracted, Dean already knew most of what Zachariah was pointing out, Sam was poking around the path, curious as ever, and Cas...Cas was asking questions and adding more details to what Zachariah would talk about. Dean noticed that his dad was having a hard time staying patient. He was gonna blow soon. Then he would snap. And get mean. And fight with Kate. It could get real bad. What if he made them leave early? He didn't want to leave early. He was having fun.

 

"Now, this one's probably most important of all the plants to know out here," Zachariah explained, pointing at a bush. "Gather round!"

As the group huddled together, Dean noticed his dad sighing and staring off at the lake.

"Sammy, you ready to go back?" Dean asked.

"No!" Sam scowled at him ferociously.

"Alright, alright," Dean frowned.

"What'sa matter?" Gabe whispered, catching the exchange.

"My dad is gonna lose it here soon," Dean tipped his chin toward his dad.

"This is poison ivy!" Zachariah warned.

Dean looked at the bush again. It wasn't poison ivy.

"I'll take one for the team," Gabe huffed out. He turned to Dean, dead serious, "wish me luck."

"Gabe, what are you doing?" Dean asked.

 

"That is not poison ivy," Cas said. "Uncle Zachariah, that's a raspberry bush."

"No," Zachariah argued, his cheeks getting red.

Gabe went around the knot of guys and walked up to Dean's dad. He said something quiet to him and his dad looked kinda annoyed. Then he turned to Zachariah. 

"Hey, this one-"

"Gabriel," Gabe supplied.

"Gabriel isn't feeling so good. I'm gonna walk him back."

"Oh!" Zachariah nodded. "Sure thing!"

"Me either," Luc said, his pale face and blonde hair helping him pull off a sickly wince.

"Uh oh!" Zachariah laughed short, "we're droppin' like flies here!"

"That is definitely a raspberry bush," Cas said.

"Castiel," Dean grit his teeth, grabbing Cas wrist. "Let it go, man."

"But-"

"I know, it's raspberries!" Dean let go of his wrist and looked pointedly at the group moving out. "Quit asking questions before you, just shut up, alright?"

"It really is a-"

"I know," Dean sighed steering Cas by the raspberry bush. His dad, Gabe, and Luc had disappeared.

"Is it Dean?" Sam asked from his side.

"It's a raspberry bush," Dean nodded. "I'll show you poison ivy if I see any."

Sam nodded. 

Almost back to the cabin, they found the dam. Zachariah and Bartholomew went on and on about it. Cas asked a question and then shared something with the group about beavers and otters.

They traipsed back up to the cabin, Cas getting some pretty intense glares from Michael and Raphael. Cas was clueless, still looking around him, deep in thought.

 

'Milton Man Walk' or whatever the hell they called that hour of misery was finally over. They got drinks and headed upstairs.

They weren't more than four steps across the living room when Raphael snatched Cas by the shirt collar.

"You idiot!" He hissed in his face.

"Time for payback," Luc sneered as Raphael drug Cas toward the back door.

Dean lunged forward, Michael shoving him back so hard he hit Gabe, both of them falling on the floor.

As they scrambled to their feet, Luc locked the back door with a grin like a monster. Raphael had Cas by the railing and Michael just smiled like nothing insane was going on.

Dean and Gabe fought with the door, pulling as hard as they could while Luc held it shut with hardly any effort.

"Shit!" Gabe swore as Raphael lifted Cas over the railing, like he was going to throw him over.

"Next time you want to run a fuckin' science class, do it on your own time," Luc said.

Gabe let go of the door and ran downstairs. Parent time.   
Dean stepped back. He couldn't budge the door and he couldn't take his eyes off Cas. He was clinging to Raphael's arms, his feet trying to climb the outside of the railing to get back in. 

They were three stories off the ground! Panic set in, thinking about Cas falling. He turned, glancing around the room. He spotted a kitchen chair and ran for it. He came barreling at the glass door with it until Luc caught site of him.

"Whoa!" Luc yelled, letting go of the door.

"You put him back!" Dean yelled, chair raised to smash.

Luc waved a hand, Raphael barely getting Cas over the rail before he let him go, Cas falling onto the deck with a crashing thud.

Dean glared at Raphael, Michael, and Luc with every ounce of hatred he could muster. Zachariah and Marv appeared at the top of the steps. Luc played the whole thing off. Gabe looked like he had chewed up a whole lemon, he looked so mad. 

Dean banged on the door and Marv flipped the lock, letting him out finally.

"Raphael held Cas over the railing," Dean said, lurching through the door.

"He's all pissed cause Cas kept talking during the hike," Dean went on.

"Well, nobody likes a know-it-all," Zachariah smiled.

"Now, now," Marv laughed, "you can't do things like make threats-"

Cas got to his feet, holding one wrist in his hand and looking like he was going to kill Raphael.

"You older boys need to be patient with the kids," Marv said.

Dean's jaw dropped.

"We should take the older kids to the movies tomorrow, get them out of here a little bit," Zachariah grinned.

"That might let off some steam," Marv nodded.

Cas walked through the group and back into the house, a cold look on his face.

"See?" Zachariah grinned, "He's fine. You boys need to take it easy on the kids though."

Michael and Raphael nodded.

"We will," Luc grinned. "Sorry to interrupt your night."

The uncles shrugged and started heading downstairs. 

Gabe did not make it to the door before Luc snatched Gabe up. "You are so gonna regret that, little brother. You know what happens to tattle-tales."

Gabe glared back but said nothing.

Luc let him go with that empty grin and looked right at Dean. Dean felt like a bucket of cold water just got dumped down his insides.

"You too, Dean."

The threat made him shiver all over. Gabe grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, not stopping until they were in their bedroom with the door shut.

"Welcome to my hell," Gabe said, sitting next to Cas on his bed.

Cas just sat there looking at his shoes.

"Dean," came Sam's voice all small and shaky.

Ah, shit. He had forgotten Sam was there to witness all that. "Yeah?"

"I don't like Luc. Or Raphael. Or Michael."

"Me either, buddy."

Cas looked up at Dean. "You tried to warn me. I was talking too much."

Dean sighed, sitting across from him on his own bed, Sam sitting tight up against him.

"Raphael is a grade A dick," Gabe said. "I had no idea."

Cas nodded. "He's never done anything that bad before. He wanted to drop me. I think he would have let go."

"No," Gabe frowned, putting a hand on his shoulder. "He wouldn't have done that."

Cas looked back down at his shoes.

Dean felt rattled inside. He had been in a fight at school before. Him and Sam had fought before. But nothing like this. Even when his dad or mom were their maddest or meanest, they never did any shit like that.

 

"What the hell's wrong with your dad?" Dean asked Gabe.   
"He acted like it was no big deal and now THEY'RE going to the movies tomorrow!"

"Yeah, pretty typical," Gabe frowned. "What you guys call Armageddon, my family calls Sunday dinner."

Dean felt like he was losing his mind. Pretty people with their fake smiles. They were monsters.

"Are they seriously gonna hurt us?" Dean asked, needing to know what to expect from their new enemies.

Gabe shrugged.

Dean sighed. "This is bullshit. My dad woulda beat all their asses. Your dad sends them to the movies. Next time you run off, Gabe, get my dad instead of yours."

"Don't yell at me!" Gabe threw his hands up. "I did my best! I gotta live with them, ya know!"

Dean blew out a frustrated breath. Cas' head was down, Gabe was pissed, and Sam was scared.

The night was over for all of them. No one felt like doing anything. Dean fell asleep reading Sam a book. He did not sleep well, either. Every little noise woke him up. Cas was up too. He was sitting up in the corner of his bed watching. Waiting.

 

Day 4. Dean woke up feeling tired. His dad had not gotten him for fishing and the sun was up already. Sam was up, playing with legos in the corner of the bedroom. Cas was gone and Gabe was still sleeping.

The day was cloudy, but still warm. "Come on, Sam, let's go down to the lake."

Sam got up and got changed, Dean doing the same. He took Sam by the hand and threw a few things in a duffel bag. They went downstairs and ate breakfast, smiling politely and saying stupid cold-people stuff, like 'how are you? And, good. Having fun? Oh yeah', your children are evil demon monsters, but sure, havin' a swell time.

They ate and Dean grabbed a few muffins to go.

"Dad," Dean said, knocking on their bedroom door.  
His dad opened the door, looking tired and smelling like beer. 

"I'm takin' Sam for a walk. Be back by dinner."

"Alright," he said, nodding and closing the door.

Dean took Sam's hand and they left the house. 

"Where we goin' Dean?" Sam asked, tripping along behind him on the path around the lake.

"I saw some cool stuff to go look at on our walk the other day. Keep up, Sammy."

"Are we hiding from Luc and Raphael?"

Dean huffed. "No." Maybe. It was just too unpredictable there. 

"Are we gonna swim?" Sam asked, Dean slowing down so he could catch up.

"Sure." Dean saw the trail he was looking for. There were trees crowding the path, but he could see a circle of trees at the top.

They marched up the steep path, winding behind some big rocks and tree roots. A clearing opened up and Dean smiled. The grass was extra long in here and it was cooler from the shade. 

"Do you remember how to get back to the cabin?" Dean asked.

Sam thought a moment, looking over his shoulder. "Yes."

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Sam nodded his head extra hard. 

"Could you get here again from the cabin?"

Sam thought again. "Yes. Pretty sure."

Dean nodded. "If anything happens, we meet here."

Sam gave him a thumb's up.

"Don't forget," Dean warned.

"I got it."

They hiked back down to the trail and hiked around the lake. 

"I miss Cas. And Gabe. Can we play with them now?"

Dean sighed. "Fine. But if those bullies try anything, you know where to go if you can't get to dad, right?"

"Yep," Sam said, nodding big and taking off for the cabin.

They went in the main level, getting drinks.

While Dean poured them each a kool-aid, Sam had found Cas sitting in the living room. He coaxed the boy over to the table, Dean pouring him a drink.

"Hiding in here?" Dean smirked.

"Hiding out there?" Cas said without cracking a smile.

"No," Sam said, half climbing over the table to whisper, 

"We got a secret hide out spot. In case we need one."

Cas nodded, looking at Dean. "You were hiding."

"Nu uh," Sam said, sitting back and frowning. The red kool-aid mustache made Dean laugh.

"Whatever, Cas. You want to know where it is, or not?"

Cas sighed, sitting back. "Alright."

"I'll get Gabe," Sam said, running off before Dean could stop him.

"When I got up, you were already hiding down here, I guess," Dean said. He sipped his kool-aid. Cas obviously thought he was a jerk for leaving him behind, but argue with that!

"I woke up tied into one of the kayak's outside."

"Oh...shit," Dean stammered. "I didn't know."

Cas nodded, looking down into his bright red drink.

"How'd you get out?" Dean asked, hating that he let his friend get caught right out from under his nose.

Cas looked away. "I managed to untie the ropes and get out."

"Yeah?" Dean was impressed. "Good for you, man. That's like...some Goonie stuff right there."

Cas huffed a laugh. "Thought you were too cool for Goonies."

"No way!" Dean laughed. "Goonies rule!"

He and Cas shared a grin. 

"What's the big idea?" Gabe complained. "I was napping when shortstack here decided I needed to be awake."

"Yeah, it's time to go," Dean said, guzzling the rest of his drink.

 

Cas did the same and they headed down the steps to the water's edge. Dean told Gabe about the kayak. Gabe nodded. "My brother's are really mean."

"No shit," Dean snapped, Cas blushing. "We gotta fight back. We need a plan."

 

Dinner was great. Barbecue chicken, corn on the cob, and potato salad. "Eat up, boys," Luc said, grinning way too hard to not have a plan.

"Oh, I am," Dean grinned back just as hard. Luc raised an eyebrow but kept on walking.

 

 

Day 5 started by waking up with a jolt. Dean was tied into the kayak outside. Their plan had obviously failed. They had fallen asleep and the older kids got them. Or Dean, anyway. He pulled and strained against the ropes. The kayak was standing against a tree and rocked dangerously as Dean struggled. 'Cas did it, so can I,'   
Dean told himself, before he totally freaked out.

He felt the knot and started pulling. Finally he loosened one side of the knot when he felt himself tipping.

"Shi-" the kayak fell to the gravel, a rock digging into his forehead and knees as he hit the ground. 

"Uuuhhh," Dean moaned. "Shit."

"Dean!" Came Sam's upset voice and running steps.

"I shoulda known to check the kayak," Cas was saying as he, Gabe, and Sam tipped the kayak upright.

"You're bleeding!" Sam gasped, his face scrunching into an angry frown. "Those bastards!"

"Sammy!" Dean laughed, pulling his head away from Sam's hands swiping blood and dirt off his face. "I'm alright, watch your language!"

Cas tipped the kayak, untying him quickly.

Dean sat up, blood still running from his head.

"Here," Cas said, pulling his shirt off and stemming the blood by pressing on it.

"I'm fine," Dean muttered.

 

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, the three dicks can't find any clothes to wear because they are all full of itching powder," Gabe said, rocking back on his heels and wincing at Dean's face.

Dean grinned wide. "Yeah, that definitely makes me feel better."

The rest of the day went on with a truce. Gabe took the fall for the powder and all the laundry that needed done. 

Luc took the blame for Dean cutting his forehead. He apologized, but Dean saw right through it. Either way, they spent most of the day hanging out with Gabe. 

"You still got that camera?" Dean asked Gabe while Cas took his turn while they played LIFE. 

"Yep."

"We should do pictures again," Dean suggested.

They abandoned the game momentarily and Gabe set up the camera on Dean's dresser, facing the door, just like the last time.

"Height order," Gabe grinned, smirking at Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes. 

They lined up, same as two years ago. Gabe, then Dean, then Cas, then Sam. They smiled for several pictures and then all made muscles for the fun pose. Gabe pulled Sam over for one more. "Look, last time we did this, Sam was up to like, here," Gabe put a hand at his sternum. Now I'm way taller!"

Sam crossed his arms, looking annoyed, while Gabe grinned, standing right behind him. "Say, shortstack!" 

Gabe grinned while the picture snapped. Sam barely made it to the bottom of Gabe's rib cage. He was really little, compared to other 6 year olds.

 

 

Day 6. Dean thought the war with the older cousins was over. He was wrong. So wrong.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean swore, pulling at the damn ropes that held his wrists too tight. He had woken up this time, kicking and fighting as hard as he could, but they were just too big. On the plus side, his hands were tied in front of him this time. On the bad side, Cas was tied up and so was Gabe. All three were shoved into a canoe and currently floating out into the lake.

"Those bastards!" Dean swore, pulling and fighting the ropes. 

"This is so dangerous," Cas said, his tie already loosening.   
"We could drown!"

"Where's Sam?" Gabe asked, looking back at the bank.

"He bit one of them and got away." Dean was proud of his little pip-squeak of a brother. "He's fine, I'm sure of it."

Cas undid his knot.

"That is like a super power," Dean marveled as Cas undid his next. Hands free, Dean looked around the lake. Cas worked on Gabe's next. 

"Those assholes," Gabe said, "we're gonna have to swim all the way back!"

"Maybe not," Dean said, tapping his thumbs on the edge of the crowded canoe. "Let's just go to that clearing. Make 'em think we sunk out here."

Gabe grinned. "I like it. They'll be freakin' out."

"I don't know," Cas said. "Our parents will worry."

"Alright," Dean settled, "we find Sammy and spend half the day out hiking."

Cas looked worried.

Dean bumped Cas' thigh with his foot. "Come on, it'll be fun. I promise."

Cas looked across the lake. "Dean..."

"Cas, come on. It'll be the best day ever. I swear."

"Fine," Cas rolled his eyes, trying not to smile.

"Yes!" Dean cheered. "I'm gonna turn Cas into a rebel!"

Gabe just shook his head and went along for the ride.

 

Twenty minutes later, Dean jumped out of the canoe and towed them toward their secret hide-out.

"Dean!" Sam came running out of the path that led up to the circle of trees.

"Hey, Sammy!"

Sam plowed into him with a hug only Sam could give, almost knocking Dean off his feet. "I came all the way by myself!" Sam said.

"I knew you could do it, bud," Dean said, hugging him back. "I'm proud of you."

They hid the canoe in the woods and hiked up the twisty little path that led up to the circle of trees. The sun was warming the grass and they lay there, Dean soaked. 

None of them had shoes on. Only Gabe and Cas had t-shirts on. All Dean and Sam had on was sleeping shorts.  
"I don't wanna get burnt," Sam said, crawling out of the sun after they had all been laying there for some time. 

"Stay in the shade then."

"Hey, shortstack," Gabe grinned, looking at Sam, "heard you bit somebody. Who was it?"

Sam grinned proudly. "I bit Luc. On the arm. And it bled even."

"Eww!" The three boys teased.

Dean spent hours teaching Cas and Gabe how to fish and how to find mushrooms and grubs. Not that they ate any, but they could if they had to. He showed them how to climb trees and they hung out in one with wide limbs for quite some time.

"Dean, look," Cas said, perching high in one of the limbs.   
"There's a building down there and some people."

Dean climbed over, steadying himself to squint through some trees. "He has food. Let's check it out."

"Yeah?" Cas asked, looking up for another adventure.

"Yeah, definitely," Dean grinned. Corrupting Cas was way too much fun.

It took half an hour of slow progress to get through the path barefoot. By the time they reached the back of the small building, Dean and Cas' feet were bleeding and Sam and Gabe were whining.

They crept around the shed of a building, hearing a man talking. "Can't you go any lower than ten?"

"Nope," came the voice of a girl.

"Fine. Ten it is."

"Thanks!"

Dean came around the corner, seeing a long window with a counter along it. A red-head girl sat on a rough looking stool. She had jean shorts and a yellow t-shirt on. Her eyes caught his immediately. 

"Hi!" She waved.

Dean grimaced, cover blown. He stood up tall, the others following suit.

"Hi," Dean waved feeling guilty of something bad.

A man with a brown beard stepped out of a doorway, radio in hand. "Well hi," he said. "You friends of Charlie's?"

"I don't know," Gabe grinned, "who's Charlie?"

"Me," the red-head laughed. "This is Bobby. He's the maintenance man here."

"Hi, Bobby," Dean grinned. 

Bobby narrowed his eyes, looking at the four boys. "Where'd you lot come from? And where's your parents?"

"We walked all the way here," Sam complained. "My feet hurt and I don't want to walk all the way back."

"Sam," Dean warned.

Bobby nodded. "You all look like you could use a popsicle."

"Yes!" They all nodded.

Bobby went back inside, coming out with 5 popsicles.   
Dean helped Sam get his started before opening his own. 

"That your brother?" Bobby asked him.

"Yep, this is Sam. I'm Dean."

Bobby grinned at the pair of them. "This is Charlie. She comes here every summer with her family. Today she fixed my radio for a whole ten dollars."

Dean gave her an impressed nod. "We're here with our families. Got into some trouble with Gabe and Cas' brothers." Dean gave him the whole long story of how pranking had gone from funny to dangerous. Bobby listened to the whole story.

"Sounds like these other kids are pretty rotten. How bout I clean up those feet on you two and then I drive the four of you home. I'm sure your parents are worried."

"I hope they are," Gabe said. "They never worry unless Luc's in trouble. He's the favorite."

Dean and Cas winced through Bobby cleaning the cuts on their feet and bandaging them. They loaded into a golf cart and Bobby began driving them home on a road that ran outside the loop of homes around the windy lake. 

Bobby pulled up to the house, two aunts and Dean's dad came toward the golf cart immediately.

"Shit," Dean swore under his breath.

"Family ain't always easy, boy, but they get upset when they care. I know it doesn't always seem that way." 

Dean gave Bobby a grin. He liked the guy. He was way better than the creepy uncles. "If I get to come back next summer, I'm gonna come visit you."

"You do that," Bobby laughed. Bobby stepped out of the golf cart and had a long talk with Dean's dad. The pair seemed to actually get along. He turned, his eyes falling on Dean like two bowling balls. "Get inside boys."

"Thanks, Bobby," Sam said, hugging the guy before running to take Dean's hand. Dean had to grin. When Sam got nervous that Dean was gonna get his butt beat, he got clingy, holding his hand, sitting with him, even sleeping with him.

 

"Come on, Sammy," Dean led the group up the steps and all the way to their room. None of the cousins spoke, just watched them walk by. 

"You know this is gonna suck, right?" Dean said to Cas, knowing the kid probably never got in trouble.

"It was the best day ever," Cas grinned so big.

Naomi, Kate, and Zachariah came upstairs, yelling at them for not coming home sooner. They were grounded for the night and had to stay inside. The other boys had been grounded even longer and apparently Dean's dad had threatened them. They spent the evening playing games and talking about what they wanted to do next year.

"Can we go see Bobby again?" Sam asked.

"Absolutely," Dean laughed. "I liked that old grump too."

"Man," Cas said, looking out the windows, "I could stay here forever. I wish we lived closer to each other."

"Me too," Dean agreed.

"Me too," Gabe nodded.

Thunder rolled and Dean hit Cas on the arm gently. "Here comes the rain! You said it would rain!"

Cas nodded. Yep. Cas was weird. A good weird. And his friend. 

 

 

Day 7 started before dawn. They packed and rolled up their sleeping bags. He was sad to leave and relieved at the same time. Cas got out of the car he was getting in and ran over to Sam and Dean. "Hope I see you next summer," he said, rocking from one foot to the other. 

"Here's my address," Cas said, holding out a slip of paper.

"Cool," Dean said. He'd probably never write to the guy. He had never written a letter in his life. 

"Bye, Sam," Cas said, hugging him. "Maybe next year we can read The Hobbit."

"For sure. I promise," Sam said, getting in the car.

"Bye, Dean," Cas said, waving and patting his shoulder.

"See ya, Cas. Hey, don't be afraid of Raphael. You show him he can't just pick on you, alright?"

"Alright," Cas nodded, looking shy again. In the woods yesterday he had been fearless. Dean would just have to try to help him again next summer. If they both survived until then.


	3. 1990

Chapter 3. 1990

Note: It's been a year. This time, the boys have their Goonies moves all worked out. What could possibly go wrong? And oh yeah, that pranking war...

Here's the line up :)

Cousins and Ages:

Michael 16  
Luc 15  
Raphael 15  
Cloe 15  
Lottie 13  
Gabe 12  
Attie 11  
Dean 11  
Cas 10  
Hannah 9  
Anna 8  
Sam 7  
Adam 3

3rd week of July, 1990

 

Dean tapped excitedly on the windowsill of the car door. He was anxious to get to Lake Alapmi. It felt like forever since he had seen Cas or Gabe. 

Adam handed him a number book again. "You read it, Sam," Dean sighed, trying to hand the baby book to his brother.

"Sorry, already reading," Sam said, nose buried in a book.

"I remember the good ole days when you didn't know how to read," Dean griped.

"What are you talking about," Sam smirked, "I think I taught you how to read."

Dean gave his brother a warning look.

"Deed it, Dean," Adam said, pulling at the number book.

Dean opened it and started reading, letting Adam point and name pictures as they went. Adam was in a car seat between Sam and Dean. It had been a long, noisy ride so far and Dean was looking forward to getting out of the car.   
He turned, seeing his and Sam's bikes were safely tied to the back of the car. This summer was gonna be awesome. He had written to Cas when a brainstorm hit him when he got home from the lake last summer. If they had bikes, they could much more easily get around and get away from the cousins. He had written Cas, telling him to get a bike if he didn't have one and to learn to ride it by next summer.

Cas had written back that he did not have one.  
In January, he got a letter saying he had gotten one for Christmas. A month ago, he got a letter about how he was riding much better.

He and Sam had talked about seeing Bobby the maintenance guy again.

Dean was ready for the older cousins too. He had a knife and he had practiced untying knots. He was ready.

"Oh John," Kate sighed, "change the station. I can't listen to anymore 70's music."

He gave her a tight look. "I'm about to spend 7 days with a bunch of assholes. Just let me enjoy myself while I can."

Kate sulked. "I hate that you don't like my family."

"Your family don't know how to relax and enjoy themselves! About the only thing they do right is drink beer! None of them knows a God damn thing about the outdoors or the lake. They just sit around and talk on and on about politics and stocks, and Milton Law Firm."

"Well maybe you can change everybody's oil in their cars," she said sarcastically. Sam glanced over at Dean nervously. Sometimes when they fought, it was bad. This summer had been quieter than last summer. Not in a good way. Their dad worked a lot and when he got home, he didn't want to do much. Dean and Sam could spend hours playing everyday with some of the neighbor kids. And sometimes they had to babysit Adam. He was alright. Kate just always had things to do. And now she had a job. She had gone back to work as a nurse. She said that was how she had met their dad.

As frustrating as Kate could be, their dad was usually grouchy and so serious. Worse than that, was living in Kansas with their mom. She worked nonstop. They were on their own most of the time. At least in Minnesota, he didn't have to make dinner every night. He could play, hang out with friends, and act like a kid. Their mom meant well. She apologized a lot. But then she just kept working. It made both Sam and Dean angry. Sometimes, in a way that didn't make any sense, they acted really bad. It made Dean feel better when his mom had to come into the school. It was stupid, really. Because then she was mad and yelling and there would be grounding. Not that she was around to reinforce it. 

Kate said Adam was happier when they were there. She said the house was too quiet when they left for school. 

And sometimes, not that he would even tell Sam, but sometimes he missed Kate during the school year. It was frustrating always missing somebody. Oh well, at least he had Sam. Cas did not have a brother or sister to share things with. He said Raphael was worse than ever, but rarely ever got caught. Gabe got along with Luc sometimes. Michael other times. Then sometimes neither of them. But never both. At least, that was what he had gathered from the few letters they wrote over the year.  
He could see the lake through the trees now and could smell the familiar smell of lake water, trees, and smoke from cookouts. It smelled like summer vacation.

Sam gave him an excited look. "We're here, Dean!"

"Yep," he said, starting to gather his things in the backseat. "We're here, Adam! See the water?"

Adam stretched in his seat, trying to see. The car pulled into the gravel parking area and Dean unbuckled Adam, handing him to Kate as they got out. "I'll get your stuff," Dean said to her.

"Thank you," she grinned already heading toward her sister, Naomi who was on the stairs, waving.

Dean loaded several bags onto Sam and himself, their dad getting the rest.

"I'm gonna take a ride out around the lake on my bike," Dean said, following his dad up the wooden stairs. "I might stop and thank that Bobby guy for helping us out last summer."

"Sounds like fun," he said, distracted already.

"Hi Dean! Sam! Uncle John!" Anna said, opening the door for them.

"Hi," they all answered back.

"Sam! I brought rafts and inner tubes to play in the lake!"

"Cool!" Sam grinned. He always got a little shy when they first got here. But Dean knew he would relax pretty quickly.

She took a wobbly stack of sheets from Sam and followed them to Kate and their dad's room. They neatly stacked all their things and headed back down to the car for their own stuff.

Back on the gravel, Dean heard running footsteps and turned.

"Dean! Sam!" Cas came flying toward them, hugging Sam and then Dean.

"Hi, Cas!" Dean said, slightly startled by the hug and excitement.

"I brought my bike!"

"Awesome!" They high-fived and finished pulling their things from the car.

"I was worried you guys wouldn't come this year," Cas admitted.

"I told you we were coming," Dean laughed.

"Yeah, I know. Sam, I brought our book."

"Yeah? The Hobbit, right?"

"Yep."

"They're gonna make that a movie before you two ever get around to reading it," Dean laughed.

"I wish we lived closer," Cas sighed.

"Yeah, me too," Dean nodded.

They walked into their bedroom and Gabe sat up in his bed. "Now the party can start! The Winchesters are finally here!"

Dean reached up for a bro hand shake. "Why are we always the last ones here?"

"I don't know. I thought Cas was gonna cry if you didn't show up soon."

"I was not," Cas sighed, flopping onto his bed.

"I brought some pranking supplies," Dean grinned up at Gabe. "How have your evil brothers been?"

"Evil," Gabe grinned. "I brought supplies too." He climbed down, pulling his bag out from under Dean's bed, opening it. "What did you bring?"

Dean opened his duffel and pulled out a small toolbox. "Tools, crap around the house, fishing line, Vaseline, balloons."

"Cool," Gabe grinned. Dean could see the wheels turning already. "What did you bring?"

"Tape, rope, lighter, sugar, salt, toothpaste, baby powder, itching powder, plastic wrap, a thread ripper, Vaseline, baby oil, and yeah, lots of goodies."

"Cas, what did you bring?" Dean asked. It was always a little shocking getting used to his bright blue eyes again.

"I brought my bike. I didn't bring any prank stuff." He looked down, slightly embarrassed. His head jerked up, "But I do know where some poison ivy is!"

"Awesome!" Dean, Sam and Gabe cheered.

"Hide the bags somewhere good," Gabe said. "Last thing we need is those assholes raiding our room and using our own shit against us."

"Good idea," Dean nodded, looking around the room.

"Anna!" Sam said, "Anna can keep them in their room! No boys allowed in there."

"Yes!" Dean said, impressed and proud of his little brother.

They put everything in one bag and gave it to Sam. He headed out to work his 7 year old magic.

"So, what's new?" Gabe asked.

Dean wasn't about to get into his family problems. He could tell them that his dad was grouchier more often. Him and Kate weren't as happy as they used to be. His mom worked more and more, leaving them alone more and more. "Nothin' new," Dean grinned. "Goin' into middle school next year."

"Ah," Gabe nodded. "Middle school. It's brutal, man."

"Are you going into 6th grade?" Cas asked.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, feeling a little older just talking about it.

"Me too," Cas grinned.

"What?" Dean and Gabe snapped.

"No way," Dean scowled. "You're a whole year younger than me! You're only like, 10?"

Cas shrugged. "Elementary school was too easy for me."

"Oh my God," Gabe said quietly. "You are just as nerdy as I thought you were. You're one of those freaky smart kids that skip a grade."

Cas looked hurt by the statement. Maybe it was too true to be anything but hurtful. 

"That's cool, Cas," Dean grinned. "Gabe's just worried he'll flunk and end up in the same grade as us."

"Too true," Gabe grinned, flopping back.

"Anyway," Cas said, "want to go for a bike ride?"

"Yeah!" Dean and Gabe agreed.

They went into the living room, already littered with blonde Barbies, tiny clothes, plastic furniture and an array of sparkly crap. 

"Sam!" Dean called, "Let's roll."

Sam came out of Anna's room at a trot.

"Where you going?" Anna asked, sounding sad already.

"Riding bikes. Did you bring your bike?" Sam asked.

"No."

Sam shrugged, "That's okay. You can ride on the back of mine. Dean used to carry me around like that all the time."

She lit up with excitement.

"Meet us outside if you're allowed to go," Sam called, following them down the steps.  
The parents gave them permission, and that was it. Summer was a go! 

Dean led the way on a single lane paved road that ran around the lake. It was the same one that Bobby guy had used to take them back to the cabin. He kept the lake to his left, seeing it through the trees and they wound their way around, sun coming through the trees. 

"This way!" Dean called, turning down a narrow lane. The small shack came into view. The counter was dirty and the old stools were empty. Dean could hear whistling from inside the shed. The door was propped open and all four bikes came to a quiet stop. Dean and Sam dropped their bikes to the ground, Gabe leaned his against a tree, and Cas kicked his kickstand out to balance the bike on.

"Bobby?" Dean called, giving his friends a shrug at what else to do.

The whistling stopped. Bobby stepped out of the shed with a carburetor in his hand. "Well, lookie here. You boys look a little more put together than the last time I saw ya. And you gained another one."

"How've you been?" Dean asked, sitting on one of the four stools. He liked Bobby. He was cool. And friendly.

"Been a pretty good year so far. Can't complain," Bobby grinned, looking amused.

"So, I'm Dean, in case you forgot, my brother Sam, my friends Gabe, Cas, and Anna."

"You're my cousin," Anna corrected.

"Not really," Cas said. He explained the technicality for this being that Cas was adopted and Dean and Sam were not related to the Milton's either. Gabe and Anna were cousins though.

Bobby nodded and listened as he tinkered with the carburetor. Anna sat on the stool next to Sam and Gabe next to her. Cas continued standing while he explained the inaccuracy of Anna's comment.

"This is why we won't sleep for the week," Gabe said, leaning forward on the counter to look at Dean. "Nerd brain there is gonna have us tied into another kayak in no time."

Dean waved Gabe off, but he was right. "Cas!" Dean warned, Cas stopping his lecture and looking at Dean. He blushed slightly and nodded. 

"Anyway," Dean grinned, Bobby looking slightly relieved, "we're not really related."

Bobby grinned, looking down as he wiped his hands off. "Family don't end in blood, boys. Right here, fer instance." Bobby pointed at a red-haired girl coming down a path on foot with a big grin. "Hey!" She waved.

"This girl's like family to me."

"Hi, Uncle Bobby," she squeezed him tight as he kissed the top of her head.

Dean remembered her from last summer. "Charlie, right?" Dean asked.

"Yep!" She said, looking at them all. "What are you guys doing here?"

Dean shrugged. "Just wanted to come by and say hi. And thanks."

"You guys can come to the activity barn with me if you want," Charlie suggested.

"Activity barn?" Dean repeated. It sounded creepy.

"Yeah! It's a barn thing bout a mile around the lake. They have an activity every day at 12:00. And a dance on Wednesday nights. You can go to any of the stuff since your families are staying at the lake."

"A dance," Gabe laughed. "No thank you. But you can come swim with us, if you want."

"Sounds fun," she shrugged.

"You kids want some popsicles?" Bobby asked.

He handed them each one, snipping the top off so they could suck the fruit flavor from the ice as they pushed them up the plastic tubes. 

"What is this place?" Gabe asked, looking around at where it looked like there was a menu a long time ago.

"This used to be a snack shack. They built a bigger one on the opposite side of the lake by the mini golf course and this one kinda died out. The maintenance shed was taken down to put better public bathrooms with showers over there too. So they put me here."

"Aw," Anna said, "You're by yourself now."

Dean laughed. Bobby reminded him of his dad. He probably liked being alone. But he didn't feel like he was bugging him either.

"Oh, I'm good over here," he chuckled.

"Gracious, Bobby."

They all turned around to see two people that looked like parents walking toward them. The woman had short, red hair and Dean guessed they were Charlie's parents.

"You have quite the clubhouse going here!" The lady laughed.

"It's the popsicles," Bobby grinned.

"Oh!" She waved him off, hugging him too. "Can you come join us for dinner tonight?"

"Sure!" Bobby grinned. "What can I bring?"

"Nothing! See you at 5:30!" 

"Mom, can I go swim with these guys? Or can they come swim by our place?"

The mom looked over the group. "Sure, sounds fun," she smiled.

"Let's swim at your place today," Gabe said. "You can come to ours tomorrow."

They swam the whole afternoon until close to dinner time. Charlie was awesome. She was 11, like Dean and smart like Cas. She was a big movie fan and a huge Nintendo addict, like the rest of them. She helped Bobby at the maintenance shed every summer. He saved odd jobs for her since she liked to tear things apart and put them back together. She had gotten a computer for Christmas. Charlie, Gabe, and Cas talked quite a bit about computers. Dean could care less. He played water tag with Sam and Anna instead. 

They rode back to the cabin for dinner with promises to meet Charlie tomorrow. 

As they sat at the huge table, passing biscuits and Dean watching his creepy 'sisters of fate' cousins eat like prim princesses. The uncles were debating something political and the aunts were shushing kids and uncles alike. It was a strange group. Not what Dean would expect to be his family or one of his favorite places to be, but it was. And Cas, there was something so smooth about the way he moved. The way his hands held things.

"What?" Cas asked, catching Dean deep in thought.

"Nothin'," Dean grinned.

"Dean," Sam said, thankfully disrupting the moment, "I don't feel good."

"Did you eat too much?" Dean grinned, glancing at his plate, he could see he had eaten very little.

"No." Sam looked sweaty and pale for as tan as he was.

"Ok, let's go," he said, grabbing his hot dog and Coke and steering Sam upstairs without another word to anyone.

 

"Wow," Cas said, making a face.

"If you don't wanna see, then don't look," Dean frowned at Cas.

"I don't care about Sam puking, but you finishing your hot dog while he's doing it is pretty gross."

"Dude, I'm hungry!"

"Wow," Gabe said from beside Cas.

"Uh. You can both bite me."

Sam puked loudly again.

"Atta boy, Sammy," Dean said, patting his sweaty back. "Better out than in. Did you bring me another hot dog?"

"Gross!" Gabe and Cas flinched, Sam puking again.

"Uhh, Dean...I hate you."

"You love me," Dean smirked, winking at the other two.

"No," Sam panted, hanging limply at the toilet, "I hate you."

"He doesn't mean it," Dean grinned up at the other two, Cas shaking his head while Gabe just looked confused.

Dean washed his hands and coaxed Sam up to brush his teeth. Then he steered him up to his bed, helping him make it.

"Should I get your mom? I mean, Kate? Or Uncle John?" Gabe asked.

"Nah," Dean said, brushing Sam's bangs out of his face.

"Dean," Sam said weakly, "I feel better now."

"Good. Get some sleep, buddy. You'll feel better when you wake up."

Sam nodded.

"I'm gonna tell Kate or John," Gabe said.

"Knock yourself out," Dean sighed, finishing his Coke.

Gabe frowned as he left.

"You're a good brother, Dean," Cas said quietly, watching Sam sleep.

Dean shrugged. 

"I can't imagine having someone who took care of me like that," Cas said quietly.

"Aunt Naomi doesn't?" Dean asked, surprised.

"Not like that. It would be more like a doctor appointment. Like..."

"I know what you mean," Dean said quietly.

Gabe came back with the same frown. "Aunt Kate asked if you had it under control. I said yes and she went back to watching a movie. And your dad said you could handle it."

Dean nodded. He could have told Gabe that would happen. Hearing it from someone else made it seem so much worse though.

"Dude," Gabe said, sounding worried, "are they always like that?"

Dean shrugged. "Yeah."

"Gabe," Cas warned.

"What? They suck. Dean should know."

"You don't think I know?" Dean asked, frustrated. "News flash, Gabriel! Kate and John suck!"

"Sorry," Gabe stepped back, "sorry. If it makes you feel better, my parents suck too."

"No, not really," Dean snapped. 

He felt Cas' hand on his shoulder and snapped his jaw shut, rather than yell at Gabe.

Cas' hand pulled away quickly and Dean shut his eyes. He hated when people figured out how crappy his family was. It was embarrassing and made him want to hit something. But he blew out a breath and looked at Gabe. "Sorry."

Gabe shook his head like it was nothing and he busied himself setting up a board game.

The night ended after a round of Sorry. 

 

 

Day 2. Dean woke up feeling miserable. His stomach rolled and he ran to the bathroom, puking. There was nothing worse than being sick in the summer. Round two came vicious and fast, making Dean struggle to breathe. He felt a calming hand on his back and took a cup of water offered to him. He looked up, seeing Cas there.

"Cas, you better get back. You don't wanna catch it."

Cas just smiled. His eyes looked insanely blue in the white bathroom.

Dean dropped his head down on his arms.

"Aw, Dean," Sam said from behind Cas. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Dean panted. He handed the cup back to Cas, fighting a roiling wave pressing inside him.

"You need me to talk about hot dogs?" Sam grinned.

"Uhhh. Fuck." Dean puked until all he could do was dry heave.

"He needs water," Cas said, handing the cup to Sam.

"Oh no," Gabe said from the doorway. "This isn't good."

"Hey Dean," Sam said, running a hand down his brother's back. "It's rainy today anyway. I'll just stay inside with you."

"Yeah," Cas coaxed, pulling Dean up to his feet and making him brush his teeth.

Dean went back to bed.

By noon, Cas was throwing up. Dean could barely keep himself upright, but he helped his friend the best he could. Aunt Naomi came in and told them they had to stay in the room until everyone was better. She took Cas' temperature and handed him a tissue. But she looked repulsed to be there and did not touch anything, including doorknobs, blankets, or Cas.

Dean saw the hurt in his friend. He watched as Naomi left and he did the same for Cas as he had done for Sam, staying with him and rubbing his back.

"Uh, this sucks," Cas panted.

"I know," Dean said, leaning his head down on Cas' shoulder, too tired to move.

Cas actually whimpered. 

"You can do it," Dean patted. "Just quit fighting it and puke already."

He could feel Cas' muscles tight as a rock.

Dean pulled back his head, leaning it onto the cool tile. "You're gonna make me do it, aren't you?"

"No," Cas shook his head.

Dean blew out a breath. "Hot dogs. Covered in mustard and k-"

Cas was puking.

Dean rubbed his back and handed him water when he was done. 

"I hate you," Cas panted.

"I know," Dean patted his shoulder. "I know."

 

By dinner time, Gabe was puking and Sam was hungry.   
Sam and Dean helped Gabe, assuring the aunts that they were okay and no one needed a doctor.

 

 

Day 3 started slow. They slept in and had toast for breakfast. Sam was back to his usual self and the rest weren't far behind. 

They rode their bikes to Bobby's. He gave them popsicles and Dean helped him change the oil in one of the mowers. Charlie came and they all went back to the house to swim in the lake. The day before had seemed like a blur.

Close to dinnertime, Charlie needed to go home. Dean and Cas rode back with her, then came back home. They spent that night at the bonfire on the bank, none of them eating snacks. They caught a jar full of fireflies and took it up to their room.

Sam and Cas had put grass and twigs in it, while Dean had nailed holes in the lid.

 

 

Day 4 started with flat tires on all their bikes. Dean eyed the white Honda that Michael was driving. The pranking had begun.

"Sammy," Gabe said, following Dean's gaze. "Go get Vaseline and a balloon."

Sam nodded and ran.

"I got a tire pump in the trunk," Dean added, going for his dad's keys.

Gabe and Sam coated Michael's steering wheel with Vaseline. Sam turned all the switches to full blast, so when the car started, the music and heat would blare and the wipers and turn signal would go crazy. Gabe put a balloon on the exhaust pipe. Meanwhile, Dean and Cas pumped up all the tires as quickly as they could.

Gabe and Sam were waiting on their bikes, while Cas and Dean pumped up the last tire on Cas' bike.

"Here they come!" Sam whispered.

Luc, Michael, and Raphael came off the steps, crossing the gravel parking lot. "Aw, they're going on a bike ride," Luc mocked.

"What happened to your bikes?" Raphael sneered.

None of them answered, just kept on doing what they were doing.

Dean caught Sam's eye and tipped his chin toward the road. Sam snagged Gabe's sleeve and the two turned their bikes, ready to take off.

Michael had just walked by, smirking, with his perfect hair and perfect clothes.

He got in the car put the key in the ignition. Dean worked as fast as he could while Luc and Raphael got in the car as well.

"Dean!" Cas whispered, Dean twisting the tire cap back on tight. Cas turned his bike to go and Dean grabbed his own, keeping the pump in his hand, fearing the older teens would destroy it.

Music blared as Michael started the car.

"Go!" Gabe yelled, all of them pedaling hard to get away.   
They could hear swearing and yelling from behind them and then the balloon on the tailpipe burst. It sounded like a gunshot. Dean looked back, seeing Luc and Raphael freaking out while Michael just looked ready to kill them.

"Woo hoo!" Gabe yelled into the wind. They raced down the road toward Bobby's, wanting to get off the road before the other three got in their car again.

They pulled into Bobby's high-fiving and laughing. Bobby came out of his shed, sitting an air conditioner on the counter to work on.

"Now you all look like yer up to no good," Bobby said, his eyes looking down the line of them.

"Us?" Gabe feigned innocence.

"Nothin' too bad, I hope," Bobby warned.

"Nah," Dean said. "Just gettin' back at the older kids for messin' with our bikes."

"Ah," Bobby grinned, pulling the front grate off the air conditioner. "Same kids that put ya in a canoe last summer?"

"Yep, my a- jerk brothers," Gabe explained.

"Well, Charlie's at the movies with her parents," Bobby said. "And it looks like it might rain again."

Dean looked up at the sky. It was cloudy, making it darker than it should be, but no rain yet.

"Maybe we should head back," Sam said, looking nervous.

"Soon," Dean said, not really wanting to go back to the cabin yet. He helped Bobby by getting tools for him from inside the shed. It was cool and dark inside. Every inch of shelving was covered with spare parts, tools, or maintenance stuff. In the tool chest, he found the screw driver. "Got it," he yelled. As he walked past the cluttered shelves, he stopped, seeing a baseball. He grabbed it and brought both things outside. He handed Bobby the screw driver and held up the ball.

"Can I play with this?"

"Sure," Bobby nodded, barely looking at it. "Found it along the road two summers ago."

Dean held up the ball to Sam and Sam clapped once, running back a bit, ready to catch. They tossed the ball back and forth a few times. "Cas, wanna play?"

Cas hesitated, but shrugged and stepped further away from them. Gabe sat at the counter, watching Bobby and eating a lollipop. The three tossed the ball around until Bobby approached the group.

"You guys play baseball?" he asked.

"No," they answered.

"Well," Bobby grinned, "I can tell."

Dean frowned.

"Don't yer dad or mom ever play with ya?" Bobby asked.

Dean and Sam looked at him like he was crazy. And Dean knew very well that Cas was barely allowed outside when he was home.

"Alright," Bobby nodded. "Let me show ya a few things."   
He showed them how to get a better grip on the ball. He pulled out gloves, showing them the difference between the catchers mitt and the outfielder mitt. He taught them how to throw, how to aim, and how to hit.

Sam's stomach gave a loud growl from beside Dean and he realized they had missed lunch and it was almost dinner time.

They headed back to the cabin, all of them excited about their new skills. 

"I might try out for baseball this year," Dean said. "Bobby said I was pretty good."

"You are," Cas nodded.

"You should play too, man! New school, new year, new Cas!"

"I'm not sure Naomi would let me," Cas said, chaining his bike to the beam under the house like the rest of them had done. Sam and Gabe had already run upstairs. Cas stood, looking toward the lake.

"Come on," Dean grinned, the pair heading for the bank and sitting with their feet in the edge of the water.

"Do you play any sports?" Cas asked.

"No," Dean shook his head, looking out over the water. "I can't get rides because my mom is always working. Plus Sam." Dean could feel his excitement deflating. Sports would be too much trouble. There was probably no way he could really do it.

"Baseball season runs from spring until summer," Cas added.

"Oh. Well, there goes that plan," Dean shrugged. "Can't play if you have to move in the middle of the season."

They both pulled individual pieces of grass, splitting them down the middle and tossing them to the side. He did not want to think about home at his mom's. Or home at Kate's. "Do you play sports, Cas?"

"No," Cas shook his head, not looking up from the grass. "I just...do school stuff. The science fair." He shrugged, looking embarrassed.

"Man, don't be embarrassed! Nerds are gonna rule the world some day!" Dean shoved his shoulder gently, making Cas smile.

"Seriously though, you should play baseball. Or do a sport. It'll help you fit in since you're younger and all. Do you even know anyone at your new school?"

"Not yet," Cas sighed. "And what sport do you suggest? I'm smaller than everybody."

"You don't gotta be tall," Dean said, turning to face him. "You gotta be fast. Fast on your feet. Fast with a come back. Faster than them. You're already smarter, now you gotta show 'em you're not scared of them and you can be cool by being fast!"

 

Cas was watching him and nodding. A slow grin grew on his face. "I can be fast. If I'm fast, I could do track."

"Or soccer, or baseball, hell, even football."

"Middle school," Cas shook his head.

"Middle school is a bitch," Dean nodded. "All the neighbor kids say so. Find stuff to get into like clubs too. Busy people are cool people. And ya can't just be smart. You gotta be a smartass."

Cas nodded. "What about you? What sport could you do? Or club?"

Dean sighed, flopping back onto the grass, squinting into the setting sun. "I don't know. I'll figure something out."

Cas nodded and laid back beside him.

"Did you really do the science fair thing?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Cas grinned, knowing it was nerdy.

"Did you win?"

"I won first place in the environmental division."

Dean grinned big. Cas was such a nerd. If they went to school together he would make sure nobody picked on him. But all he could do was help him not be so dorky.

"Ever been in a fight?"

"No. Well, with Raphael, yes, many times. At school? Not since I've lived with Naomi and Chuck."

"Oh yeah," Dean scowled, sitting up and looking down at him. "I forget you're adopted. So, you remember who you were with before Chuck and Naomi?"

Cas suddenly looked stiff and nervous. "Yes. I was six when I moved in with them."

"Huh. What was it like? Before them?"

Cas sat up, brushing grass off his t-shirt. He was looking anywhere but at Dean. "It was bad. And I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh," Dean said, surprised. "Sorry, man, didn't mean to be so nosy."

"It's fine," Cas whispered.

Dean rested his chin on his knee. "Cas, you're my summer best friend. I gotta say Benny is my school-time best friend because I've known him longer, but...yeah."  
He glanced over, seeing Cas was looking right at him with those seriously blue eyes. His mouth was hanging open a little and he looked surprised. "What?" Dean laughed, feeling self conscious all of a sudden.

"You're my best friend, Dean. I mean...ever."

Dean nodded. He felt nervous and stupid about saying it out loud, but it was true. And Cas seemed like he needed to hear it.

"We should be blood-brothers," Dean grinned.

Cas' eyes narrowed. "Like, cut ourselves? No way."

"Come on, Cas!" Dean laughed. "We'll be blood-brothers! It'll be cool!"

Cas nodded, smiling weakly and Dean just laughed.   
Tomorrow, maybe.

They went up late for dinner and ended the night out on the deck. Gabe was telling Sam and Anna about werewolves that lived in the woods. They looked like they were buying it, but Dean couldn't really blame them. Gabe could tell a good story. He could hook you in and have you feeling like you were really there.

"Is that why you used to be scared at night here?" Sam asked.

"I wasn't scared!" Gabe rolled his eyes as Dean and Cas cracked up laughing.

"No," Sam shook his head, "I remember. You were scared."

"Uhhh." Gabe threw his hands up.

"We just need a silver knife," Sam nodded. "Then you'll feel better at night."

"You two should go look for one," Gabe nodded.

Dean and Cas were still laughing as the two took off. 

Gabe threw chips at them until they swore to stop.

 

 

Day 5 began with an early wake-up. Dean went fishing with his dad. This time he brought Cas and Sam. No Gabe. Not that he wanted to be there.

Cas knew nothing about fishing. And he was rather intimidated with his dad. Between Cas and Sam, Dean and his dad spent a good deal of time explaining lures and technique. They both picked it up pretty quickly.

The only thing stressful about their morning on the lake was their dad's short temper that flared several times at Sam and once or twice at Dean. Dean kept Cas at the opposite end of the boat and Cas had a way of blending in to the background. His dad did give him a few annoyed looks at his lack of experience. His dad seemed to think all boys came programmed like robots. He would get mad when Dean couldn't fix something easy or drive better or do things by himself. He was only 11. That familiar anger was building up inside him. Making his hands shake on the fishing reel. 

Cas gave him a side-eye look. He did that a lot. Dean smirked, his anger draining quickly.

After fishing, the boys went up to their room and found Gabriel duct taped to the underside of his bunk. It was bizarre to see. 

"Thank God you're here!" Gabe yelled, hearing them come in.

"What the hell?" Dean said in awe. Gabe was laying, suspended on the bottom side of his own bunk. His head was out and his toes. All the rest looked like a silver duct tape cocoon. 

"How much tape did they use?" Cas asked in just as much awe as Dean.

"Two fucking roles! I gotta pee! If you don't get me outta here, I got nowhere to go but on your bed, Dean!"

"Sam, get the bag," Dean said, inspecting the tape.

"All the girls went on some dumb trip." Gabe yelled. "My asshole brothers sat out there and watched TV! Then they just left!"

"Chill out, Gabe," Dean tried to calm him. "I'll have you down in a minute."

Sam rushed in with the bag, plopping it on the floor.

"Scissors?" Cas suggested, "We could cut him down."

"Yeah, this'll work better," Dean said, rummaging in his tool box and pulling out a hunting knife.

"That's a knife!" Gabe shrieked, struggling in all the silver tape.

"Yeah, I'm gonna cut you down." God, these guys were so freakin' innocent some times.

"No way!" Gabe yelled, eyes bulging, hair swinging and an attempt to scoot away.

"Gabe! Calm down!" Dean grinned. He knew Gabe was freaking, but between his panicky screams and the swinging hair, he was starting to find this pretty funny.

"I got this!" Dean assured, trying not to smile too hard.

"Why are you smiling?! Cas, don't let him cut me!"

"Okay," Dean put the knife on the first stretch of tape, close to the edge of the bed and away from Gabe. "Let's just-" he started cutting, having to push pretty hard to cut through the tape.

"My hand!" Gabe panicked, yanking himself, almost tipping the whole bed.

"Did I cut you?" Dean gasped, pulling the knife away and looking.

"Not yet!" Gabe yelled.

"Gabe, I swear to God. Shut up and let me get you out. If you piss in my bed I will kick your ass."

"Want me to get a big bowl?" Sam offered.

"No!" Dean snapped. "Just let me finish." He began cutting quicker this time. By the time he got as far down as his knees, Gabe hung halfway out of the tape. His skin was still stuck fast on his arms and legs. Once cut the full length of the bed, Gabe hung sideways, Cas trying to support him because the tape was pulling at his skin. 

Dean hacked at the other side of the tape until Gabe finally dropped onto Dean's bed.

"Wow," Cas winced.

"Yeah, this is gonna hurt," Dean said.

Gabe whimpered, trying to pull away from the tape. He reminded Dean of a fly stuck on fly paper.

"Let's flip him over," Cas suggested.  
They flipped Gabe, a shell of silver tape covering him.

"Ready?" Dean said.

"Fuck," Gabe swore, high pitched. 

Sam's eyes were as big as saucers.  
"Sam, go get paper towels," Dean suggested. It was better to keep him busy.

"Let's start with the legs," Dean suggested.

"One at a time?" Cas asked, "Or both?"

Dean shook his head, unsure. "One."

Cas nodded, motioning for Dean to go first. 

Dean bit his lip and grabbed the edge of the tape. "Ready?"

"Fucking no!" Gabe swore.

"One, two, three." Dean ripped the tape off one calf.

Gabe screamed and Dean was shocked to see speckled dots of blood all over the calf of Gabe's leg. He looked at Cas, Cas looking at him just as shocked.

"Dude," Dean whispered.

Cas shrugged. His eyes lit up. "Shower."

"Yes," Dean agreed.

"That fucking hurt you dickwad bastards!" Gabe cried.

"Sorry, Gabe," Dean said. All the fun stopped when the real tears started.

"Plastic wrap," Dean said when Sam came in the room with a role of paper towels. 

Dean and Cas hoisted Gabe upright and waddled their way to the shower. 

"Plastic wrap," Dean said, Sam helped him wrap it around Gabe's bleeding calf. They turned the water on warm and put Gabe under. 

"Soap," Cas suggested, grabbing the bar and soaping the edges where it stuck to Gabe's arm.

After twenty minutes of soap and baby oil and water, they had all the tape off. All three of them were wedged into the shower stall and soaking wet. When the last of the tape was pulled off his angry, red skin, Gabe's head sagged back against the wall.

"You still gotta pee?" Cas asked, turning the water off.

"Nope. Went ten minutes ago," Gabe said in a defeated, broken tone.

Dean and Cas exchanged a look, knowing they had probably been peed on and...well, what the hell were any of them going to do about it anyway?

After all three of them were done showering, they sat on Dean's bed and Cas' bed.

"We gotta get 'em back," Dean said, looking at Gabe's arms and legs. His arms and one leg had tiny little red pricks here and there. The other leg had rows of bloody dots that had finally stopped bleeding. And no hair where the tape had been.

"I'm just gonna kill 'em," Gabe said, dead serious.

"They always go too far," Cas said, shaking his head. "You could tell your parents, Gabe."

Gabe shrugged. "Won't matter anyway. Luc's the favorite and Michael is the oldest. They do nothing wrong. Everything is always my fault.

Dean hated seeing Gabe so serious. There was no humor in his eyes. 

Just then, they heard voices out in the living room. It was Michael, Raphael and Luc. Before Dean could grab him, Gabe was on his feet with a murderous look in his eyes.

"Gabe!" Dean tried to grab him but missed.

Gabe was in the living room before the other three could even get up. They followed as quick as they could.

"Whoa!" Michael laughed, "What happened to you?"

"Did the duct tape do that?" Luc laughed.

"He looks like a pin cushion!" Raphael laughed.

Gabe went head long into Michael, throwing punches and knocking Michael off his feet. Raphael aimed a kick at Gabe, but never landed it because Cas took him out.

Dean threw up a protective hand to keep Sam out of the fray. "Go get Dad. Only Dad," Dean said, Sam running. Luc tried to snag him but Dean knocked his arm out of the way, getting a punch to the face from Luc.

There was a lot of yelling. A lot of shoving. Punches, kicks and even hair pulling.

"Knock it off. Now." Everyone froze.

 

Gabe was on the floor, Michael over him with a raised fist. Raphael was crouched on the floor, Cas standing over him. Luc had Dean in a headlock.

All eyes went to Dean's dad. He was looking at all of them in that calm, angry way that made you want to figure out right the hell now how to get out of it.

"Michael," John snapped. "How old are you?"

Michael dropped his hand to his side. "He came at me, hitting me-"

"That is NOT what I asked you." John lashed the word NOT like a whip, making all six of them wince.

"I'm 16," Michael answered.

"How old are you, Gabriel?" John asked.

"Twelve," Gabe answered, wiping blood off his mouth.

"Well," John grinned, taking a slow step toward the group. "Don't that make you quite the man. Michael."

Michael looked away, crossing his arms over his chest.

"How old are you?" He asked Raphael.

Raphael glared back at John, but flinched away finally. "I'm 15."

"And you?" He asked Cas.

"10."

"Ten! Wooow. Again...quite the man." John said. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes were cold and ruthless. Every word making the older boys shake in their preppy loafers.

"And how about you?" John asked, looking at Luc.

Luc released Dean. Dean taking a step back from him and rubbing his neck. Luc grinned, his eyes cold too. Seeing the two face off was enough to make the very air spark with intensity. "I'm Luc. And I'm 15 and this is Dean. He's like, ten."

"I'm 11!" Dean snapped indignantly.

"Oh! My mistake!" Luc covered his mouth, grinning. "11," he whispered loudly.

"You think you're funny," John said, stepping toward him, his voice lowering.

Luc grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

Dean could have died right there on the spot. Luc was surely going to die. This was it. His dad was going to kill him. They'd have to bury him in the woods to hide the body.

"I don't give two shits what happened up here," John said quietly, staring at Luc, "but if I hear about one more problem from you three, you are gonna find yourselves waking up in the bottom of that fucking lake outside. Catch my drift?"

"You-" Luc started, John stepping forward menacingly.

Luc finally lost the smile and just nodded in understanding. 

"I'm pretty sick of all three of you pretentious little fuckers acting like you own the place," John went on.  
"Your parents shoulda beat your asses a long time ago. And I am not afraid to be the one to give you your first shake down."

Dean wanted to hug his dad. His hero. His bad-ass hero of a dad!

"If I hear one more word from Sam or Dean about you three assholes?" He looked at each one of the teenagers slowly. "I will be your worst nightmare. Now. Get. Out. Of. My. Sight."

Michael left immediately, quickly followed by Raphael. Luc brazenly stared back as he slowly walked into the bedroom, closing the door.

"I don't really know what's goin' on here," John said to the three remaining, "but if you are gonna keep causing problems while you're here, Dean, you won't come back."

Dean swallowed. He did not want that to happen. And he knew his dad would absolutely do it. 

"It wasn't Dean," Cas said, gulping when John turned his rock-hard eyes on him. He stared until Cas just dropped his head and closed his eyes.

Dean glanced around. "Where's Sam?"

"Don't worry about Sam. He'll be busy the rest of the night since I can't trust you to keep him out of trouble."

And just like that, his dad had gone from hero to villain. Dean clenched his jaw so hard he heard his teeth grit.

"Now, can I trust you not to fall apart if I go downstairs again?" John growled.

"Yes, sir," Dean said tightly.

They all watched as the tall man walked out of the room and down the stairs. 

They all let out a breath. A look passed between them. They were thankful John had stopped the fight, but he had left them feeling like they were all worthless. And now Sam was gone. Gabe dropped onto the couch. Dean was still reeling from the whiplash of his dad. Cas walked over to him. The pair stared at each other a moment, Dean's jaw still locked tight, bottling everything inside. Cas' eyes begged him to say something, but he just couldn't move.

"Your dad is wrong," Cas said like it was the most important thing to ever have been said.

Dean could feel himself crumbling inside. He sucked in a breath, his eyes stinging.

Cas took him by the arm into the bedroom and closed the door.

Dean shuddered a breath, biting down so hard he thought his jaw would break. 

"Dean," Cas said low, 'Breathe."

Dean shuffled from one foot to the next. He looked up at Cas but just couldn't look him in the eye. He paced over to the window, letting out a shaky breath.

Dean paced back, Cas just standing there, saying nothing. Like he was waiting for something. Waiting for him to what? Cry?

"I hate him," Dean growled out.

Cas nodded.

Dean wanted to lash out at him. Yell at him. Not FOR anything, just because he was standing there in his face.

"I get blamed for everything!" Dean yelled, his jaw finally unlocking. Tears broke loose and he paced away again and then right back, Cas hugging him tight.

"I'm always in trouble," he whispered hoarsely, Cas just holding onto him tight.

Dean broke away, back to the window. He wanted to shout about how much he hated his dad. About what a lousy dad he was. About what a lousy mom he had too. He wanted to scream and rip the screen right out of their window.

He shoved it all back down turning back to Cas practically panting with the effort of not keeping himself together.

"I hate him," Dean gasped.

"I know," Cas said, reaching out but pulling back.

"No, you don't understand," Dean's voice shook.

"Okay," Cas nodded.

Dean clamped his lips shut. Cas was his best friend. Younger than him and here he was acting like a friggin' baby in front of him.

"I'm-" he had no words to finish it. His life was so messed up. Like he was in a box he could never get out of.

"Dean," Cas said quietly, "you are a good brother. Your dad is just being mean."

"Why?!" Dean yelled, shaking, tears running and that just pissing him off even more.

Cas opened and closed his mouth but nothing came out. "Because he's wrong. Because not everybody should be a dad."

Dean's breathing slowed down, but all he could do was stare at Cas, tears dripping off his cheeks and mouth hanging open slightly. Cas got it. If he got it, that meant he had lived it. Cas saw it all. He might as well have been standing there naked, pointing out the old bruise on his side, the scar from the belt buckle on his back shoulder, the broken fingers he had had. 

Dean lifted his hands to his head, heaving in a breath.  
"I can't-" he gulped.

Cas huffed a breath, starting to lose his calm reassurance, his eyes reddening. "You can."

Dean's racing thoughts clicked slowly to a halt. His anger drained away and all he felt was tired. Cold. And sad. But not alone.

"Sorry for freaking out," he said, but it came out in a tiny voice.

Cas nodded, swallowing hard. "Some day," Cas said quietly, "we can get out of here."

All the false smiles and cold eyes flashed through Dean's mind. He nodded.

He meant to just pat Cas on the shoulder, but somehow it turned into another hug. He wanted to jump away and joke it off, but he needed it. He just needed someone for a minute. Someone who didn't think he was a total failure or a bother. He stepped back, letting go and wiped off his hot face. He wanted to go to bed, but where was Sam?

Gabe opened the door. "You guys having a secret meeting without me?" 

They both shook their heads, none of them had it in them to even joke. 

"Come on, I put in a movie. It's supposed to be funny."

Dean nodded, grabbing his blanket from his bed. They went into the living room and settled into the couch. Dean fell asleep ten minutes into the movie. 

He woke up when the girls came upstairs. The movie had long since stopped, Sam was curled up behind his knees, slumped over onto him and sleeping. He put a protective arm over Sam's sleeping back. A part of him relaxed. Cas was taking up the rest of the couch and Gabe was on the floor in front of them. It was summer. It was beautiful outside. They were on vacation and Dean could care less. 

Rachel came upstairs, making sure Hannah and Anna were bathing and getting dressed from their busy day out doing whatever they had been doing. 

Cas sat up, shaking Dean's leg and bumping Gabe with his foot. "Let's go. We can eat dinner and then go see Bobby and Charlie."

"Yeah," Dean said, pushing on Sam to wake him up. "Come on, Sammy, we gotta go."

In their room, they got their shoes on and Gabe put clothes on, finally getting out of his pajamas. Dean was exhausted. Thinking about sleeping here was making him nervous already. He grabbed the prank bag and dug through it. He looked at the door handle with its cheap knob lock that never worked. He dug out a few tools and set to work.

"Are you fixing the lock?" Gabe asked.

"I'm gonna try," Dean muttered.

"Cool," Gabe grinned. "What'cha want, shortstack," Gabe said to Sam.

"Look," Sam said, running his hand over Gabe's arm. "You got no hairs on your arm."

Gabe jerked his arm away, scowling.

"It's all soft," Sam said, like it was a concern.

"Shut up, peewee," Gabe said, rolling his eyes.

After struggling and removing the whole knob, Dean managed to fix the lock. 

"You're like MacGuyver!" Gabe laughed.

"I fixed a lock. I didn't build a bomb," Dean scoffed.

"We probably could build a bomb," Cas muttered, glancing in the prank bag with a calculating look.

Dean really wondered about him sometimes. "Well, at least we can sleep good tonight." He pitched the tools back in the bag and shoved it under his bed. "Here's the best part," Dean waved a tiny Allen wrench in the air. "Now we can lock the door when we leave too."

"Awesome!" Gabe laughed.

When they went downstairs, it was family photo time. This year they went out to the bank of the lake with the house behind them. Marv sorted and shuffled and moved people around until he was finally happy. He tried to smile. He really was glad to be here. He just needed to get out from under all the adults. 

They hastily ate dinner and set out on their bikes immediately afterward. 

They spent the evening playing baseball with Bobby, Charlie and her parents. They were so laid back and normal. By the time they dropped into bed. They all seemed to be feeling a bit better.

 

 

Day 6 started early. They woke up with everyone accounted for and no pranks. It was a victory and they were taking it as a much needed win. They pilfered breakfast and some snacks to take with them, leaving on their bikes to spend the day out around the lake. They went to get Charlie. They headed further than they had ever been, going to the mini golf course to play a game. Then they had milkshakes at the snack bar. They rented paddle boats and went out on the lake in two boats. They went back to their cabins for lunch and met again to take a hike around the lake. Sam and Gabe took Charlie to see the dam they had found last summer.

Dean and Cas sat on the bank waiting for them. It was their last day of vacation and it hung heavy over them all. Even Charlie had noticed the change in the group. Gabe had given her a half-assed version of events.

 

Dean didn't want to leave. He wanted to go to school with Gabe, Cas, and Charlie. He wanted Bobby to adopt him and he could live right here at this lake all year and forever. He could do maintenance with Bobby and live in a cabin. He flopped back on the grass and closed his eyes.

He thought he felt something on his leg, then his arm, then a light, soft something landed on his face. He swatted it away, sitting up quickly. Cas had been throwing flowers at him from a few feet away. They looked like Badminton birdies with round, brown, fuzzy bulbs with pedals that went back from the bulb part. Another one plunked him on the head.

"Knock it off, Cas," Dean laughed.

Another came at him but he batted it away. And another. 

"I mean it!" He laughed again, getting to his feet.

"You're gonna eat one of those if I catch you!" Dean yelled, running and Cas running away. They dodged and ran and chased around the clearing and over the bank, under the house and through the gravel parking area.

"Okay!" Cas laughed, "I give up! No more throwing things!"

"That's what I thought," Dean nodded. They headed down the bank again to catch up with Charlie and Gabe and Sam. Just when they got near the place Dean had been laying before, Cas pulled another handful of birdie shaped flowers out of a pile under a bush, throwing them all at Dean and running. "Castiel!" Dean bellowed, chasing him again.

By this time, the other three were alerted to the feuding pair. "Run, Cas!" Charlie yelled when Dean almost caught him coming around a tree.

"If you help him, you're next, Charlie Bradbury!" Dean yelled.

Cas was laughing and kept just barely dodging Dean's reach. Finally, he snagged him by the back of the shirt, pulling him to the ground and straddling him.

Cas was laughing too hard to fight back.

Dean grabbed thick handfuls of grass in each hand.

"No!" Cas panted. "Stop!"

"Don't do the crime," Dean grinned, shoving grass down   
Cas' shirt, "if you can't do the time, Cas." He wrestled to shove the other handful of grass down his shirt and jumped off. 

"Uuuhh," Cas groaned. He took his shirt off and shook it out. "I'm itchy already."

The other three just shook their heads, staying out of it, lest they too wear grass for the rest of the day.

They took Charlie home and hugged her and Bobby goodbye.

"You come see me next summer, alright?" Bobby grinned.

"Love you, Uncle Bobby," Charlie said, hugging him tight.

"Love you too, Charlie."

She ran up the path toward her cabin, giving them all a wave goodbye. "See you next summer!"

They all waved and watched her go.

"Can I call you Uncle Bobby too?" Sam asked.

"Sure thing, Sam," Bobby grinned. 

"Bye, Uncle Bobby," Sam said, sad and trying not to show it. He hugged Bobby tight and Dean wished he were 7 and could get away with crap like that.

"Love you," Sam said, holding on tight.

"Aw, now, don't be sad yer goin'. You got stuff ta go do. You'll have to tell me all about playin' baseball."

Sam nodded, getting on his bike slowly.

"Bye, Bobby," the rest of them waved. "See you next year!"

"I'll save some work for ya!" Bobby called as they rode away. "Gotta start earnin' those popsicles!"

 

They got back to the safety of their room, which was still locked, and went inside. When Dean went to change his clothes for bed, he found a beat-up birdie flower caught in the folds of his shirt. He grinned, remembering Cas laughing like a nut. He put the birdie in his bathroom bag to take home.

He crawled in bed feeling exhausted.

"Shit!" Gabe yelled, startling everyone.

"What?" Cas and Dean yelled back.

"We forgot to do pictures this year!" Gabe scrambled out of bed and quickly went about setting up the camera and timer.

Dean stood up, Cas standing and looking just as thrilled. 

"Come on, Sam," Dean called.

"Mmmm," Sam whined.

"Dude. You aren't two. Get down here."

Sam flung his sleeping bag back and crawled down.  
Gabe came back over, Sam standing in front of him and Dean and Cas joining in. "We must grow at the same rate," Gabe said, propping an elbow on Sam's head for a picture. "Good to know I can always look down on you, shortstack."

Sam yawned, socking Gabe in the arm and climbed back up to bed. Gabe put the camera away and they all dropped into bed.

 

 

Day 7. Dean got in the car the next morning feeling like it was going to be a long year before he saw Gabe and Cas again. He waved to each of them as they pulled off. They already had plans to bring their bikes again next year. Hell, every year until Gabe could drive!


	4. 1992

Chapter 4 1992

It's been two years since our gang have been together. Where were Dean and Sam last summer? And here come one of Dean's firsts. Hope you are enjoying these guys young. Here we go with some awkward teens. Always an angsty good time ;)

And here's the line up!

Michael 18  
Luc 17  
Raphael 17  
Cloe 17  
Lottie 15  
Gabe 14  
Attie 13  
Dean 13  
Cas 12  
Hannah 11  
Anna 10  
Sam 9  
Adam 5

3rd week of July, 1992

 

Dean flipped the lid to the ashtray again and again. Sam's hand darted in front of him, snatching the army man from the ashtray. "What the hell?" 

"Dean," Kate warned.

"Sorry," he glanced at Adam, sitting between he and Sam. The kid was out cold, napping.

"Give it back, Sam."

Sam shoved it into his own ashtray when Dean lunged for it. Dean fought around him but couldn't pull the man free.

"Look what ya did, Sam. It's stuck."

Sam just laughed. "Good, maybe you'll quit flicking that stupid lid."

Dean sat back. He didn't really care. It was just always there to mess with. He flipped the lid and flipped it shut, smirking at Sam.

"I'm gonna rip it off," Sam threatened quietly.

Dean looked away, out his own window. He could see the lake through the trees through Sam's window. They would be there soon. A week at the big cabin. He wasn't as excited this year as he had been last time he was here. They didn't come on vacation last year. Their dad and Kate had been "taking a break". It was strange to spend the summer with their mom. It seemed when their dad took a break from Kate, he took a break from his whole family. They had gone to Kate's house for two weeks, then she had called their mom and asked if she could come get them. She had been surprised when they got upset about going back. She said they couldn't come to the cabin because taking all three of them would have been too much. He had written letters to Gabe and Cas as soon as he found out. He had gotten a letter from the pair of them that they wrote while they were at Lake Alapmi last summer. Cas had written several more times over the school year. Dean had written back twice. He never really knew what to say. He was kinda nervous about seeing all of them. A lot had happened since the last time he was here. 

It was so weird to be here without their dad. Life was weird without their dad. As awful as he could be, there was a huge hole in Dean's life where his dad had once been.

"Here we are guys," Kate called from the driver's seat.

Dean smelled the familiar smell of trees and water that signaled 'summer' in his brain. A week away. A week to survive his weird family. And this year, no Dad to back them up. He felt almost like Sam and him didn't belong here.

A stack of kayaks leaned against a tree and an old canoe sat upside down on the bank. Three girls in swimsuits were headed toward the lake. Bartholomew's daughters Cloe, Lottie, and Attie. They were 17, 15, and 13 now. They wore matching pale pink one piece suits with built-in skirts. They were pretty, Dean guessed, with their long blonde hair and thin frames, but they always looked bored or too polite. At least they were out of their room. Most years they hardly left their room. 

"Will you boys help me carry stuff up?" Kate said, shutting the car off.

"Yep," they both said easily. Dean patted Adam's leg. Adam napped like a rock. When he was out, he was out. Dean got him out of the back seat and started carrying him up the tall steps. Adam was 5 now and getting ready to start kindergarten. When Kate worked, the boys babysat him, which was a lot this summer.

Dean shifted him more to one side to open the door.

"Dean!" Aunt Rachel smiled tightly. Oh yeah, the tight smiles. He didn't miss those.

"Hi, Aunt Rachel," Dean said quietly. He headed for the room off the kitchen, laying Adam on the bed.

Coming back out to the kitchen he fake smiled back. "He'll be out another 20 minutes probably."

"How have you been?" She asked. The tone of worry that oozed from her voice made his stomach curl. 

"Good," he nodded. The faking stuff actually came fairly easy. He had been doing it a lot for last six months. Maybe forever. "I gotta help Kate with the rest of her things."

She nodded and Dean dodged out the door and down the steps. Sam had a huge stack of blankets, sheets, towels, and two bags over one shoulder.

"Hey, not so much dweeb," Dean grinned, taking half the stack away. "Won't be a vacation if you fall down the steps and break your neck."

Sam was 9. He was kinda short for his age. He was turning out to be super smart in school. Dean had teased him relentlessly when he chose to do the science fair at school. He had written to Cas about it. 

Dean got four more bags from the car and a sleeping bag. He trudged up the steps and back inside.

"Oh, honey, let me get some of that," Kate laughed, taking the teetering sheets and towels. 

"Where do you want Adam's stuff?" Dean asked. Adam had always stayed down here with his parents because he was so little. Lately, he had been sleeping with Kate though.

"Hm, I don't know," Kate mused, running a hand through her hair. "Down here, I guess, so I can keep an eye on him."

Dean would have argued for him to stay with the other kids, but Kate made all Adam's decisions. Not like Sam. She never tried to make any kind of decisions about him or Dean. She always let it up to Dean. So, he nodded and put his two bags in Kate's room.

"I'm gonna put my stuff away," he said quietly. He said 'hi' to Aunts Naomi and Hester and Uncles Zachariah and Marv. 

He headed up the steps, taking a deep breath for what lay ahead for the week.

The living room was quiet. He could hear Hannah and Anna in their room talking. There were no toys all over the place this year. Just water toys and a stack of movies by the TV. He looked out the back door and saw Luc sitting on the deck watching him with a grin. Dean gave him a half-hearted wave and Luc just grinned harder, putting a cigarette in his mouth and breathing in. He heard Sam in their room and headed that way.

"Hey, hey, Dean-O!" Gabe called, hugging him as soon as he put his bags down. They were the same height this year, which was weird because he was used to Gabe being taller than him. 

"Hey, man," Dean grinned, patting his back and stepping back. He tossed his stuff on his bed. Sam was already stretched out on the top bunk, his usual spot.

"Man, I'm glad you two are here this year."

"I see Luc's already in his cage. Smoking." Dean started putting his clothes in the two drawers that were already his.

"Hey," Gabe said, coming to stand next to him. "I just wanted to tell you both that I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I wanted to go to the funeral, but my parents are assholes and said we weren't going. Anyway, I would have been there if I could have."

Dean stopped his clothes shuffling and looked at Gabe. He was 14 now. Always a year ahead of Dean. Always more put together. Nicer clothes, cooler toys. But his family had its own problems and Dean could see them. His brothers were vengeful, spiteful assholes. His parents were all about looks. But Gabe just did his own thing. He was always on his own.

Dean gave him a half smile and nodded. "I know, man. It's alright."

They exchanged a nod, Gabe clapping him on the shoulder. "You too, Sammy," he said.

"It's okay, Gabe," Sam shrugged. Nobody else from here came either. Except Aunt Naomi and Cas."

Gabe nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're here." He clapped his hands together. "So, here's the low-down. Michael's 18 and has become my dad's new favorite. Luc is 17 and always, always in trouble. He got moved down to the basement at home. I know it doesn't effect the rest of the world, but in my house it's like a fucking war zone."

Dean could only imagine. Luc had been his dad's favorite. To fall from grace like that must have been bad. "What did Luc do to get sent to the basement?" 

"What hasn't he done?" Gabe shrugged. "He is the devil. I swear. So yeah, he can't go anywhere while we're here, so I guess he's going to live on the deck out back the whole week." 

Dean kicked his empty bag under his bed and opened his sleeping bag. "Sammy, make your bed."

"The creepy 'sisters of fate' are here and creepy as ever with their judgey looks. They always look at me like..."

"Like they already know how royally you're going to fuck up your own life?" Dean finished.

"Yeah!" Gabe looked incredulous. "So yeah, they're off doing whatever robots do. Hannah and Anna banana are here. Michael and Raphael are already off and running in Michael's car. We probably won't see much of them. All they talk about is girls. Luc is the only one I think we have to watch out for this year."

Dean stood up from making his bed and smacked Sam's leg since he hadn't moved yet.

"Owe! Jerk!" Sam swatted back.

"Make your bed, bitch," Dean repeated.

"Fine!" Sam went to work.

"Where's Adam?" Gabe asked.

"He'll probably sleep with Kate. He's been doing that since Dad died."

"Dean!" Cas' voice came from behind him.

Dean turned around and got an instant hug, tight and warm. Cas gave real hugs. Most guys did the one hand pull into a back-slap hug. Not Cas. He was both arms wrapped around tight, head on your shoulder kinda hugger. And maybe they lasted too long, but Dean didn't really care. He hardly ever saw the guy. Sue him.

Cas finally stepped back and Dean had to look away from those blue eyes. No one else had blue eyes like he did either. Plenty of people had blue eyes. Some of them were very pretty, but none were as bright as Cas'.

"I'm so glad you're here," Cas grinned. He stepped up on his bunk, hugging Sam too. "Another year without you two would have been..."

"Hey," Gabe grinned. "What am I? Chopped liver?"

"Last summer was so...different," Cas said sadly.

Dean remembered the letter he had gotten. Dean had been so jealous that Gabe and Cas were at Lake Alapmi without him and Sam. It sucked. It turned out that the week had sucked for them too. They had spent a lot of time with Bobby and Charlie. Charlie's parents had been in a car accident. Her dad had died and her mom was still in a coma. She was actually living with Bobby. Turned out she didn't have any other family. Cas had said she was depressed and angry, which was to be expected. Having a dead dad was not something he wanted to have in common with anyone, but he did. He was not looking forward to seeing her so down. Maybe she was better now. But Dean knew better. He could not imagine the hole in his life ever being filled.

"Our older brothers didn't even really mess with us much."

"Weird," Dean shook his head.

"I think they were scared your dad would pop up out of nowhere and kill 'em," Gabe grinned, his smile dying at bringing up their dad.

Dean just laughed. It was probably true.

"Did you bring your bike?" Gabe asked.

"Yep. Ready to roll when you are."

Sam dropped down off the bunk. "I'm ready."  
His bed was barely put together as a bed, but Dean didn't hassle him about it. They headed down the steps, letting the aunts know they were leaving. Kate gave Dean a worried look. "You want me to take Adam?" Dean offered, hoping she said no.

"No, he can stay here. Just...be careful, okay?"

"I'm 13," Dean grinned. "I've been running around this lake for years."

She smiled back at him and nodded. "I know. Mr. Independent. Okay, just be safe."

"We will," he called over his shoulder, herding Sam out the door. The four went down the steps and got their bikes.

"You boys have fun now," came Luc's voice from high above their heads. They looked up, seeing him leaning on the railing.

None of them answered him, they just steered their bikes onto the road and began the familiar route to Bobby's shed. The smell of leaves and bright speckles of sunlight filtering through them made Dean relax. It felt good to be here. Not super uptight and bad like he had feared. He was with Gabe and Cas. It was summer. He breathed in a long breath and glanced back at Cas. He looked like he was thinking about something serious, but grinned at Dean anyway.

Gabe turned onto the little path that led down to Bobby's. The shed looked the same. The four stools sat empty and the door was locked. He wasn't here.

"He must be out," Gabe said, "the golf cart's gone."

Cas leaned his bike against a tree and went to the door, lifting the mat.

"Key's here," he held up the small, shiny bit and began unlocking the door.

"You guys allowed to do that?" Dean asked. He wasn't quite ready to be getting into trouble yet.

"Yeah, last year," Cas explained, pulling the door open, "Bobby showed us and said we could use it any time."

Dean dropped his bike to the ground, looking around. Everything looked pretty much the same.

Cas came out with four popsicles and a pair of scissors to cut the tops off.

They sat on the stools and waited. The sun was hot and Dean was ready to swim soon.

"I'm gonna go get Charlie," Gabe said.

"I'll come with you," Sam mumbled around his frozen popsicle. 

"She lives just down the road now at Bobby's house," Gabe said, picking up his bike to take off.

"Bobby lives here?" Dean asked Cas.

"Yeah. Do you want to go? It's just around the corner."

"No," Dean waved off the idea. He did not want to intrude. The shed was okay, but he didn't want to be a nuisance. So, Charlie was living with Bobby. Here. At the lake.

"So, how's school?" Cas asked. "You never talk about it when you write."

Dean shrugged. "It's school. I go. I come home."

Cas gave him a steady look, seeing right through him as always. "Are you in any sports?"

"Nah," Dean shrugged. "I tried wrestling. Got kicked off when my deportment grade dropped to a D."

Cas nodded, his brow furrowing. "Any clubs or other stuff?"

"No. I pretty much just play video games and watch Sam. And Adam when I'm in Minnesota."

"I heard you got suspended again."

Dean flicked his eyes at Cas. "You gonna lecture me on behaving in school, Cas?"

"I don't know. Maybe," Cas answered, his eyes locked onto Dean's.

"Oh my God," Dean jerked his head away and stood up, wandering into the shed to look around. 

"I'm just worried about you, Dean," Cas said quietly from the door.

"Well don't," Dean snapped. "We can't all be angels like you. Kate brags about you all the time. 'Cas is so smart', 'Cas won an award for his science project'. Sorry, I don't have time to play soccer and swim."

"But you have time to smoke pot?" Cas asked.

Dean whipped around. Cas' face was red and angry. He had never seen him look that way at him before. "How did you know that?" Dean asked. Kate didn't know. Sam didn't know. "Gabriel," he answered himself.

"Dean," Cas said quietly, "you were the one that told me to get involved at school. You had plans too. What happened?"

"What happened was my life sucks some times Cas. I can't stay after school for sports or anything. I gotta go home. My mom works a lot. Next summer I promised her I'd get a job to help out. So quit worrying about what I'm doing Cas. I probably won't be back after this year."

Cas looked stunned. It made Dean happy that he could rock his perfect little world. His letters were always so full of shit Dean would never be able to do. School pictures. His parents never bought those. Athletic cards for soccer and swimming that looked like baseball cards. They were so cool. And Cas looked awesome in his uniforms. And Dean hated him a little bit for it. "And you can't do shit when you have a D or an F in deportment. My teachers hate me, which is fine because I hate them too."

Cas just watched as Dean paced the shelves in the shed.

"Are you really not coming back here?" Cas asked, looking extremely worried.

"I don't know," Dean deflated. "Kate is just my stepmom. She didn't want us around last summer because my dad was runnin' around on her. But after he died...I don't know. I think she has no idea what to do about us." They weren't wanted. That's what he didn't say out loud. In all honesty, Kate wanted them more than their own mother seemed to. But she didn't have to want them anymore. Their dad was dead and gone and life was easier and a whole lot cheaper with one kid versus three kids. But this summer she had come to get them just like their dad used to. She had told him and Sam that she wanted them there. That she loved them. But Dean knew how love worked. You were happy for a little while. Then it was just gone. And where would that leave him and Sam when she was done being happy?

"So what's the plan?" Cas asked, stepping further into the shed. "Become a druggie? Flunk out of school so life is even harder?"

"Shut up, Cas!" Dean snapped. "Man, I thought you were my friend. You're just a dick too."

"I am your friend," Cas said angrily, stepping right up to Dean, even though Dean had a good three inches on him. "I don't want you to..."

"To what?" Dean pushed, shoving Cas back a step. "Be a loser? Be a drop out?"

Cas snatched his arm, holding it with a strength that surprised Dean.

"I know you're mad and-"

Dean had had enough. He decked Cas in the mouth and yanked his arm away.

"Hey! Hey!" Came a voice that made them both snap to attention. "What the hell are you two idjits doin' in my shed?" Bobby snapped.

"Nothin'," Dean snapped. "Sorry." He took off out the door but stopped when he saw Charlie standing outside with Sam and Gabe. They were all looking at him in surprise, except Sam. He turned around, Bobby looking from Cas' bloody lip to Dean.

"If you two boys need ta fight somethin' out, do it outside," Bobby ordered.

Dean swallowed hard. His knuckle was bleeding from Cas' tooth. Cas' mouth had to be hurting. He didn't want to do this here. Not here. Fighting was for school and home, not here. 

"Sorry, Dean," Cas said, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and spitting blood into the grass. 

He had done that. Hit Cas. Made him bleed. It felt really, really wrong. He was just so angry all the time. "It's fine," he said tightly. "I was the-. I was wrong. Sorry I hit you."

Cas spit again and shrugged.

"Lemme see yer mouth," Bobby said, inspecting the damage.

"Yer teeth loose?"

"No, I'm fine," Cas said quietly.

Bobby looked a little more. "Yeah, yer good. Put a popsicle on it."

Dean felt like a monster. No one else was hitting. No one else was smoking pot or arguing with teachers or trashing classrooms or running the streets at night. Not these guys. That was Kansas. And Kansas was a different Dean. Here, he was family. He was a good kid that got in trouble for fighting with his cousins a few times. And of all the cousins...Cas. Dean felt absolutely awful.

"So, I was gonna ask how you are," Charlie said, "but I see."

Dean gave her a frustrated look, but she didn't return it. "I had a pretty rough year last year," Charlie shrugged. "I was pretty sad. And angry. It'll get better."

Dean scoffed. Better? Well, here it could get better. He adjusted his face and nodded. "Okay, yeah. Sorry guys."

She shrugged and gave him a hug. "We missed you two last year!"

"We sure did," Bobby nodded. "And I got yer note from Cas."

Dean blushed. He had forgotten about that. He had sent a note to Bobby. He had explained that he was not able to make it and that he was sorry he wouldn't be there to help him work. It was embarrassing now that he thought about it.

"Saved you some work too. I got three mowers that need oil changes and I thought you all might have fun comin' with me and Charlie to do a lake check."

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"I get the bigger boat and go around the whole perimeter of the lake to check on wildlife, take water samples, and check the bank for erosion or anything else weird goin' on."

"That sounds awesome!" Sam said. They all wanted to go. 

"If yer comin' we pull out at 9:00am on Wednesday. If you ain't here, that's fine, you got family stuff and all. But I will leave without ya."

Dean grinned at that. Bobby was great. He was flat-out honest. That's why Dean liked him so much.

"Dean, Cas, I can't be lettin' Charlie hang out with kids that are fightin'. Are you two good? Or you need to take a walk?"

"We're good," Dean nodded but Cas did not answer.  
Bobby raised his eyebrows, glancing between the two.

Dean shrugged. He wanted this all gone. He wanted summer swimming and bike rides. Hikes and games and his friends. Dean looked at Bobby, but he just waited, looking at Cas again.

"Come on, Cas," Dean said, "let's take a walk then. I don't want you mad at me the rest of the week."

Cas put the popsicle he was holding to his mouth in the trash and followed Dean behind the shed and toward the old path that they had used years ago to find Bobby's that first time. They had spent the better part of a day just hanging out in those trees. He stopped, turning on Cas again. "Look, I'm really, really sorry, Cas. I shouldn't have hit you. I just don't want to talk about school."

Cas nodded. "It's fine. I forgive you, Dean. But I am worried about you. And school is important."

"Man," Dean took a step back, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You really gonna hassle me about school Cas? It's July!"

Cas looked down at the ground, choosing his words carefully. "I asked my mom if you could come stay with us. She says you have two moms and don't need a third. I tried to tell her-". Cas looked up, hearing Dean laugh. "What? What's funny?"

"You tryin' to get me adopted, Cas?"

"No," Cas blushed.

Dean nodded, still laughing a little. "School has been rough. Okay? I'll try harder next year. Quit worrying your pretty head over me." Dean's laugh died. That was weird wording to use. It's not what he meant. Why did he say that, that way.

"I mean-"

Cas' eyes were back on him in full strength. His worried frown was gone and there was a shy lightness to him. He was blushing again too.

"I know, what you meant," Cas said, dismissing the wording with a wave and his face clouding over again. "I just care. I'd help, if I could."

"You did help, Cas. You came to the funeral."

"I haven't heard from you since then. I've written."

Dean shrugged. "Sorry. I suck at writing letters."

Cas smirked.

"I get it, okay? I'll quit acting like an idiot. You quit acting like a parent. Deal?"

Cas grinned. "I get to keep bustin' on you for the whole stupid pot thing."

"It was twice!" Dean threw his hands up. "I don't have any more. You wanna go through my stuff? Give me a pat-down?"

Cas laughed. "Shut up, Dean. Just knock that off. You're only 13. Just...slow down."

Huh. Dean smirked. That was easy for Cas to say. He had two parents that lived in the same house. He had everything going for him and Dean had a pile of broken shit. But he plastered on a smile that he almost felt because, damn, Cas could be so damn pushy.

"Are we good?" Dean asked arms out in surrender.

"We're good," Cas said, stepping forward and hugging him. "We're always good. Okay?"

Dean stepped back and nodded. He didn't really know what that meant. They were always good? Like no matter what Dean did, Cas would be okay with it? That seemed impossible. Because Dean Winchester knew how to mess things up big-time.

"Can we get our summer vacation going now?" Dean asked, patting Cas' shoulder.

"Yes. Sorry."

Dean shrugged. "At least you give a shit." Dean grinned to himself. When he got in trouble at school, Kate got nervous. His mom got angry and yelled. Sam worried. If it weren't for Sam, Dean would have been expelled and in some reform school by now. His smile was gone at that thought and he had to shove the thoughts aside.

"Hey Cas," Gabe laughed, seeing them come around the corner. "Check it out, Bobby speaks Japanese! Say it again, Bobby!" 

The pair stopped by the stools, Bobby shaking his head. "You'd think you never left the country before, kid!"

Left the country? Dean was shocked when Bobby started spewing Japanese.

"What did that mean?" Sam laughed.

"I said, 'go take a bath, your feet are very, very smelly'."

They all laughed at Bobby.

"He lived in Japan for two years," Charlie said proudly. "And he says we can go there some day."

Japan? Dean was glad to make it to the friggin' lake! His curiosity was piqued. "Gabe, you've been out of the country?"

"Yeah," Gabe nodded, looking down at his hands. "England a few times. A cruise once. France."

"When?" Dean asked.

"We were in England close to Christmas. It's no big deal though."

"You mean you go on more than one vacation a year?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. My parents like to travel. When Mike graduated last year they took him to Spain. Luc says he wants to go back to France. I doubt he'll make it though. Him and dad barely talk."

Gabe went on about his brothers while Bobby nodded and asked questions. But Dean was shocked. The divide between him and the Milton's just got wider and wider. When they were little, their clothes didn't matter. Now, he felt the difference between what they wore. They were all preps with their cuffed jeans, Ocean Pacific t-shirts, and Docker shorts. Dean wore Levi's, t-shirts, and flannels. At school he was a Grub. Preps were preppy with super clean shoes and cars and styled hair. Grubs listened to heavy metal and wore jeans with holes and Guns-n-Roses t-shirts. It was Dean's closest category. He certainly wasn't a Skater, wearing huge shorts, skateboarding with hair half buzzed and half long and listening to grunge music. Hell no.

He wasn't sure why he had never seen it so clearly before. He and Sam were staying in a nest of Preps. No wonder they didn't fit in. World-traveling, mousse-wearing, hoity-toity,-" Dean looked up at Charlie. She had thrown a wrapper at him.

"Earth to Dean! If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" She grinned.

Charlie was a Skater. When did that happen? She had a Pearl Jam t-shirt on, flannel shorts and converse. Grunge music. Uh.

"No clue," he answered.

"I'd go somewhere with a beach. Tropical," Cas nodded, smiling.

"New York City," Dean shrugged. He could go to CBGB's and hear some cool music.  
"Really?" Gabe pulled back. "Figured you for somewhere quiet. New York City is so crowded."

Dean grinned. Yeah, he was right. "I can have fun too," Dean shrugged.

"I wanna go to New York City, too," Sam said, nodding.

"Does he earn bonuses for trying to be more like you?" Gabe asked. Sam scowled and whacked his shoulder.

"Jeez, no hitting!" Gabe raised a hand, Sam just glaring at him.

Cas was giving him a funny look and Dean shrugged. 

"You guys wanna hit the lake?" Charlie asked.

"Yes!" They all answered, pulling their shirts away from their sticky skin.

"We gotta go to your place. Bobby doesn't have lakefront." She said.

They grabbed bikes, said goodbye to Bobby and headed toward their cabin. Before Dean had both feet on pedals, Bobby called him back. He waved the rest of them on and turned back to the man. He was probably going to ask him not to come back. "Yes, sir?" Dean asked quietly.

"I heard about your dad. Sorry to hear about that."

Dean nodded.

"I think you better watch out for Cas. He whined quite a bit last summer when you weren't here. He really looks up to you. And so does that little brother of yours."

Oh God, more pressure. More people to be responsible for.

"I just wanted you to know that you can come here any time. Alright?"

Dean nodded hollowly.

"You're about the best big brother I've ever seen," Bobby grinned. "Sam is one lucky guy."

Dean looked up at him. He wasn't making fun. He was being truthful. Bobby always told it like it was.

"I never had a brother. Closest thing I ever had to that was Charlie's dad. We were friends since back in the day."

Dean stuttered a grin, not sure what else to do.

"Thirteen ain't easy," Bobby nodded. "Just wanted you to know I'm always here. And Charlie. She might get you better than anyone."

"Okay," Dean said quietly, clearing his throat. 

"She looks forward to you boys coming every summer," Bobby went on quietly. "Her mom ain't doin' so hot. She's in that coma and Charlie goes to see her every week. Anyway, she's a good girl, Charlie. I know things seem just so awful sometimes, but...life is kinda what you make it. Ya know? You gotta find something to aim for."

"Like baseball," Dean nodded.

"No, Dean, like something to work for. Like a goal in life."

Dean nodded in understanding. Bobby was talking deep.  
"Problem with that is, I don't have any goals. Except, get Sam to school. Get him home. Get his homework done."

Bobby nodded, looking at Dean like he was seeing a new side of him. "I see. So, what's your mom do?"

Dean sighed. "She works. Look, I might be staying with the Milton's, but I'm not one of them. I don't take two vacations a year. I-"

"I know," Bobby said, waving him off. "That doesn't matter, Dean. None of that matters. Charlie ain't rich. I ain't rich. We don't care about that. And neither do Gabe or Cas."

Dean nodded. Bobby was right. He was just so..confused. Angry.

Bobby grinned, "See, thirteen. It's a bitch."

Dean laughed. "Alright, I get it, Bobby. Quit acting like a psycho teenager, get a life goal, and be a better brother."

Bobby laughed back. "How bout this. Be a kid. Have fun and go play while you can. Whether that's for two days or two years, or the rest of your life. Bein' a kid, knowin' how to play is the key to life, Dean."

Dean just blinked at him.

Bobby nodded, cracking open a beer.

"The key to life," Dean repeated, not believing him, "the key to LIFE is playing."

"Yep."

Dean just stared. "Bein' a kid."

"Just try it," Bobby laughed. "Live a little. Play. Be a kid. I promise it will help."

Dean turned around and then turned back. "Well, I'm gonna go play. Like a kid." He shook his head with a hesitant smile.

"You do that. Let me know how it works," Bobby grinned.

Dean nodded and grabbed his bike. He gave Bobby one more look. Play. Be a kid. Bobby was nuts. He shook his head when Bobby lifted his beer can in salute.

Dean rode along the quiet road trying to figure it out. Play. Be a kid. Fine. He could play. He could start right now. The ride back was mostly down hill. His bike sped along with little work on his part. He lifted his hands out to the sides. "Woo hoo! Look ma, no hands!" 

He grabbed the handlebar and lifted his legs out, flying along the road. He laughed at how crazy he probably looked, turning into the path to the cabin and rolling through the gravel at break-neck speed, stones flying.

He chained it quickly with the others and ran down to the lake, finding his friends already there.

"There's Dean," Sam said. "What are you-"

Dean snatched him off his feet, running and falling into the water, soaking them both.

"Dean!" Sam yelled, pushing him away and laughing.

"What did I miss?" Dean laughed, splashing Sam again for good measure.

"Nothing," Charlie shrugged. 

"You're next, Bradbury!"   
Charlie screamed and ran until Dean caught her and threw her in the water along with himself. A dunking party ensued and they spent the day laughing and playing.   
Every time the adult-Dean voice in his head crept in, he growled at it in a Bobby-bear voice and just went on playing. 

They had dinner and Charlie stayed, meeting more of the aunts and uncles than she had met before.

Afterwards, Cas and Dean rode back to Bobby's with her.

"What's with the creepy sisters that never speak? Are they AI?"

"No," Cas laughed. "Well, possibly."

"What is AI?" Dean asked, lost.

"Artificial Intelligence," they both answered.

"Like Data, on Star Trek," Charlie added.

"Right."

"Oh my God," Charlie laughed. "Cas, please help him. You have to make him watch Star Trek this summer. We have to get him hooked."

Dean looked over at Cas and he just raised an eyebrow at him with a small grin.

It was getting dark by now. They rode up a narrow lane across the road from where they normally would go down the path to Bobby's shed.

They went up the trail and around a corner to a small house. So, this was Bobby's place. It was small with a little front porch. It looked cozy with warm light coming through the big window in the front.

Charlie got off her bike but Dean and Cas stayed sitting on theirs. 

"You like living here?" Dean asked.

Charlie grinned. "Yeah. I was in foster care for a few months before Bobby got all his paperwork squared away to do it. He does a really good job trying. It's just...kinda lonely here."

"There's people here all summer," Dean shrugged a shoulder.

"Ugh. I don't really like people. I like you people. But that's pretty much it. And Bobby. He's kinda the same. The schools here are ok. It's just...really different."

"I'm sure," Dean said.

"Night, Dean." She came over and hugged him. Not a quick hug and release. She kinda stayed there for a minute. When his brain shut up for a second and he hugged her back tighter, he was sure she was saying something about both of them losing parents. He liked Charlie a lot. She wasn't annoying like most girls he knew. No words was good. He did better that way.

She pulled back, finally and he stammered slightly, saying "Night, Charlie."

She hugged Cas goodnight and went inside.

Cas glanced at him several times as they rode back to the cabin in silence. Thankfully, no one had noticed Cas' fat lip. And thankfully, but not surprisingly, Cas didn't say anything about it.

As they brushed their teeth that night, Dean's guilt reared its head.

He glanced at Cas out in the bedroom, pulling pajamas out. When Cas glanced in the bathroom, Dean waved him in. 

Cas glanced aside suspiciously but came in.

Dean rinsed and turned the water off. "Sorry about hitting you, Cas. I feel like the biggest jerk ever."

Cas grinned crookedly. "I might have to agree, but it's fine, Dean. It's over. Please don't keep apologizing."

"It's just, every time I see that," Dean barely touched his chin under the swollen lip, "I just can't believe I did that."

Cas tilted his head to the side, blinking at him.  
What was that? It made Dean blush. He looked so...well, he didn't know but he tore his eyes away. He glanced back, Cas watching him closely. He looked like he really wanted to ask him something, but couldn't seem to get it out. 

"I gotta-" Cas stammered, pointed his thumb behind him.

"Okay," Dean nodded, watching Cas leave.

"You done?" Sam asked, coming in as Cas left.

"Yeah."

Sam looked at him expectantly then glanced back where Cas had left. He frowned. "You didn't hit him, did you?"

"No!" Dean squawked, his voice cracking annoyingly. "No, Sam."

"You better not. Don't ever do that again, Dean."

"I won't. I'm sorry. It just- I won't."

"Good," Sam said sternly. "Now get out so I can go to the bathroom."

Dean nodded. "Leaving. Gone."

 

 

Day 2 started with a thud against his side and a giggle. Dean popped his head up, looking at Adam, who had taken a running leap to land on him.

"Dean! Come play with me!"

"Oh but look," Dean said, pointing at Sam's bunk, "Sam wants you."

Adam scooted off, looking excited and climbed into Sam's bed with a thud.

"Ohhh," Sam twisted over to his stomach.

"Sammy...come play."

"Okay."

"Sammy!"

"What!"

"Come play!"

"Ohmigod," Sam muttered. "Okay. I'm coming. What are we doing?"

Adam laughed and climbed down the ladder. "WE'RE PLAYING!"

"If you don't go play, Sam, I might have to kill you," came Gabe's tired voice.

Sam rolled his eyes and got up, half staggering out of the room.

"There's just too many people here," Gabe groaned.

Dean grinned at that. It was definitely hectic. As Dean's eyes adjusted to being open, he looked at the underside of Gabe's bed above him. There were knife marks in the wood slats. They were from cutting Gabe down that year his brothers duct taped him in. Dean started laughing. 

"What are you laughing at, Winchester?" Gabe asked, his head appearing upside down next to him, hair hanging.

"Knife marks in the wood. Remember that?" Dean laughed.

"Only during therapy sessions," Gabe said flatly.

"I just remember getting peed on in the shower," Cas said, still facing the wall and buried under his sleeping bag.

Gabe sighed, pulling himself back up. "What should we do today?"

"I'm staying right here," Cas mumbled.

"Like hell," Dean grinned, sitting up. "We're going to play."

Cas turned his head, blinking and sleepy headed, hair sticking up everywhere. "Play what?"

"Arcade games," Dean grinned. "Kate said they put in a small arcade by the mini golf. We should go."

Cas pulled his head under the sleeping bag. "Nah. I'll stay here."

"What?" Dean shot out of bed, flopping onto Cas with a groan from under the thick sleeping bag. "You're going."

"I sumadioms," Cas mumbled.

Dean pulled the top of the sleeping bag back, Cas squinting and pulling away. "What?"

"I said," Cas huffed, trying not to laugh, "I suck at video games."

"Oh good, then I can win." He bounced slightly, Cas started to push at him.

"I gotta pee," Cas laughed, shoving harder.

"You were sound asleep, you're fine," Dean harassed, laughing hard when Cas moved and pulled him off, Dean sliding behind him and onto the mattress. Not that Cas could get very far in a sleeping bag. And he had the zipper side to boot. He grabbed the zipper, Cas figuring out his intentions quickly, grabbing Dean's hand. 

"Dean!"

"Where ya goin', Cas?" Dean laughed, fighting to hold on.

Finally Cas got a good hold onto Dean's wrist, pinning it to the bed and shoving himself away from Dean.

"Stop!"

Dean laughed and let go, Cas sliding away and onto the floor. He laid there laughing as Dean crawled over and peeked over the side of the mattress. "Ya'll right down there?"

Cas just shook his head and rolled his eyes, grinning and blushing. He fought his way out of the sleeping bag and went in the bathroom.

"Arcade, Gabriel?" Dean grinned.

"Absolutely, Dean-O."

They left an hour later on their bikes. This time it was just the three of them, Sam opting to stay at the cabin and play with Adam.

They stopped to get Charlie and rode their bikes on the thin road around the lake. They passed the big barn where they held activities and pulled into the parking area for mini golf and the arcade. 

"Well, look what we have here," came a smooth British accent.

"Ugh, Crowley," Charlie scoffed.

"Charles," he grinned, looking at all of them like he was sizing them up.

"Who's this clown?" Dean asked Cas.

"Another lake kid. And he has friends."

Several other kids came up behind him, like a bad scene in a movie. 

"Whose the new blood?" Crowley asked, eying Dean.

"Name's Dean."

"Well, Dean, I'll give you exactly one chance to-"

"Save your breath, Scowly," Dean interrupted. "I'm not buyin' whatever you're sellin',"

Crowley grinned. "Fabulous." The group stared at them and then just walked away toward the snack bar. 

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked, looking at the other three.

"That's Crowley. His dad owns some huge estate nearby. Him and his scuzzy friends, Al, Meg, and Ruby, hang out here all summer," Charlie explained.

"That's just...awesome," Dean muttered. But today was about fun. Again.

"Come on, Cas, I'm gonna kick your ass at Mortal Kombat."

Cas held his own once he got the hang of the game. It was apparent he rarely ever played this video game. Gabe and Charlie were hogging an air hockey table. 

"Too bad they don't have pool tables," Dean said, sitting on a bench to wait for Charlie and Gabe to finish.

Cas grinned.

"You know how to play?" Dean asked.

"I have no idea," Cas said, the grin deepening. He sat down next to Dean and bit his lip. "I bet you would teach me, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, wondering why that was funny. And why Cas was blushing.

"Damn you, Charlie!" Gabe yelled, interrupting their conversation.

"She wins every time!" Gabe moaned.

Did Cas want him to teach him to play pool? Why was that funny? Dean pictured it in his head. 

Dean and Cas took opposite sides at the air hockey table. Cas put a coin in to start their game. He leaned forward, grabbing the paddle that was halfway across the table.  
It was like a flood gate opened. Pool. Leaning over the table. Teaching someone how to play. If Dean stood behind Cas to show him how to play...

A loud clang erupted at his crotch and Dean sprang back, shocked to see Cas had hit the puck through and scored a point.

"Wake up, Winchester!" Cas laughed.

Dean picked up the flat, yellow puck and put it on the table. Gabe was laughing about something, but he had no idea what they were saying. He lamely hit the puck.  
Had Cas encouraged Dean to...

Another eruption startled him. He looked up at Cas.

"Are you even playing?" Cas grinned.

Dean looked away, getting the puck.

Cas was flirting.

Maybe he didn't mean it that way?

He put the puck on the table, sliding it back and forth slightly.  
He looked up at Cas. His blue eyes were watching him like a hawk, going from his hands to his face.

Cas.

Dean's face flushed furiously and he broke out into a sweat.

"Dean?" Cas said, standing up tall and looking worried.

Dean stood up tall. "I'll be back," he mumbled, heading to the bathroom. He handed Gabe his paddle as he walked out the door. 

Outside was even hotter. He went into the large public bathroom and splashed cold water on his face and stood there for a minute. Did that conversation actually happen? Was Cas flirting with him? He was. Dean was like 80% sure he was flirting. It wasn't just what he said, it was the way he said it. With a flirty smile and a blush.

So, what the hell did he do with that? He splashed cold water again. He took a deep breath. He had options here. He could...act like it never happened. Or...tell him to knock it off. Or...flirt back. The last thought nearly knocked him off his feet. Holy shit. No, Not that one. So, pretend it never happened or tell him to knock it off. Yeah one of those. That other crazy thought just made him jittery inside. This was crazy. And there was still the possibility that Cas didn't even mean it. Yeah...maybe that was it. He hadn't even meant it. Not like that.  
He turned the water off and went outside, seeing Gabe, Charlie, and Cas waiting for him. 

"You alright?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," Dean lied. "I need a drink. I think I'm just too hot."

"I got money!" Gabe grinned, "Let's go to the snack bar."

Dean nodded, following Gabe and Cas, Charlie at his side.  
The air conditioning instantly perked him up. "I just need a soda," Dean said, sitting down in a nearby booth. Charlie and Cas gave him a concerned look and Gabe studied the menu. He grinned and watched the three wait in line. Cas looked the same as he always had. Dark hair, blue eyes, built slim and kinda muscular. He glanced at Dean over his shoulder, catching his eye. Dean looked down at his hands, but the blush on his face raged on. Why would Cas flirt with him? Why him? He was...everything. Dean was so...nothing. And then there was the he's a guy thing. Yeah, that was new. How would THAT fly in Kansas?  
Charlie sat an ice cold soda in front of him and he took a long sip eagerly. Yeah. That hit the spot for sure.   
Charlie got a root beer float, Gabe got some kind of gooey sundae, and Cas had a Sprite. 

Dean shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He took another long drink and opened his eyes. Gabe was talking about some movie. Charlie caught his eye and gave him a worried smile. He wasn't even looking at Cas.   
By the time they were finished, Dean had pulled himself back together, finding that not looking at Cas worked best.

"You guys ready to go swim?" Cas asked.

"That sounds fun," a girl said, hanging onto Cas' shoulder. 

She was one of the girls that had been with Crowley earlier. Cas stepped away from her, giving her a disgusted look. "Whatsa matter, Clarence? You're not gonna invite me over? I'm already in my suit." She wiggled her eyebrows and opened her swim cover to reveal a tiny black bikini.

"Stop," Cas said. "You know I'm not inviting you over. You and your friends are mean."

"Mean?" She frowned. "I'll be nice, I promise."

"My God," Dean snapped, the pair looking at him, "quit being such a slut."

Cas' eyebrows jumped up and the girl got pissed. Well, pissed was better than that other crap. Skank.

"Butt out!" She snapped. "Who are you anyway? Let me guess," her eyes slid over to Charlie hatefully, "must be a friend of Charlie's. You-"

"That's enough," Cas voice snapped like a whip. The girl stopped and the rest of them got on their bikes to leave.

"So-"

"No," Cas glared at her hard until she just took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest. They rode all the way back to the cabin hardly saying a word.

They swam and hung out on the grass the rest of the afternoon. Dean spent more time with Adam and Sam. He showed them how to make good mud pies on the bank and how to dig worms out of the mud to save for fishing.

"Are we even gonna go fishing?" Sam asked, looking kinda lost as he dropped a fat worm into a container of dirt Dean had made.

The vacuous void of his dad not being there hit him hard. It made him have to catch his breath and find something else to think about for a minute before he short circuited and totally shut down. For now it was re-inflating a float toy for Adam. 

Sam sat down next to him, still holding the container.   
Dean wanted to rip it out of Sam's hands and throw it. Damn fishing. Damn his dad for dying.

He took a deep breath, sitting the float toy on the grass.

"Do you wanna go fishing?"

Sam shrugged. "What about Adam? Who's gonna teach him how to fish?"

Dean laughed a little. He was. "You and me, I guess."

Sam nodded. "We should. None of these weirdos are gonna fish."

Dean had to laugh at that, bumping Sam's shoulder with his arm. "We can get up early and just fish from the bank."

 

Gabe and Cas took Charlie home and Dean went up to the room early. His head was tired. He went to bed without dinner and slept until the middle of the night when a bad dream woke him up. 

He sat up, feet flat on the floor. He could see the shape of Cas sleeping in the bed a foot away from him. He left, going out onto the deck. Luc, Michael, and Raphael were down in the parking area. They each had a girl with them and were drinking, some of them making out while leaning against Michael's car.

The scene did nothing for him. He knew that was the stuff some of his friend's were into.

Bobby's words crept into his head. "Be a kid". He went back inside quietly and went down the steps and out onto the main deck that overlooked the lake. He had grabbed a blanket from the couch. He curled up on a chair until he drifted off watching the water.  
'Be a kid. Let the other stuff go.'

 

 

Day 3. It was later in the morning than Dean would have liked for fishing. But he had been up part of the night and had slept on the deck until Sam found him.

"Bad dreams?" He asked quietly.

Dean just closed his eyes. He was too old for nightmares. Too old for needing someone to tell him everything was okay, let alone his little brother.

"You wanna fish?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Let's go."

They spent two hours out by the lake fishing. Adam was, well, he was a mess. But that was okay. He didn't catch a fish and neither did Dean. Sam got one small one. Adam was pretty excited about that. 

They went in and Adam told Kate about the fish while Dean wrangled him into washing his hands.

Kate laughed at his excitement. Dean sat him down and he took off to chase Anna around, who he seemed to be quite attached to.

"Are you okay?" Kate asked, looking like she actually wanted to know.

Dean shrugged. "Yeah. I'm good. Thanks for bringing us."

She smiled sadly and nodded, giving him a quick hug and kiss on top of the head. She left him sitting at the table.

"Come on," Sam said, "Let's see what the others are doing."

Dean followed Sam up the steps. The fate sisters were sitting on the couch, braiding each other's hair, Hannah now hanging out with them. He didn't even bother waving anymore. He just went into his room to see what Gabe and Cas were doing.

"They left a note," Sam said, dropping onto Cas' bed. 

"They went to the store with Aunt Naomi."

"Okay," Dean smirked. "What do you wanna do?"

Sam gave him a wide-eyed look. "Me? Nothing special."

"Can't think of anything?" Dean coaxed.

"Well...you won't like it." Sam shrugged.

"What? I'll do whatever," Dean grinned.

"Okay, well, Charlie was telling me about this computer game she has and I would love to see her computer."

Dean just stared at him a few beats. "You are-"

"Such a geek, I know," Sam grimaced.

"Hey, what do I tell you about geeks?" Dean grinned, sitting up.

"Geeks will rule the world."

"Yep. Be good to the geeks, that means you," Dean teased, "because the geeks will be my boss someday, that's for sure! Let's go."

"Really?" Sam looked way too excited.

"Yes."

 

They found Charlie at Bobby's shed. She was reading at the counter when they showed up and Bobby let them go to the house. She was teaching Sam all about her 'very exciting' computer while he was forced to watch Star Trek TNG that Charlie had taped off of TV. The first episode was weird. But now he was catching on. The captain liked the chick with pretty hair. And maybe the doctor too.

He nodded off on the fourth episode. 

He woke to the sound of laughter. He was laying in Charlie's bed. Her computer was running, with a screensaver of a lawn mower ceaselessly mowing grass until the screen was clear and then it started all over. The TV was turned off. Voices rose and ended in laughter again from down the hall. Dean pulled a blanket over his arms and shut his eyes again.

Sometime later he woke again. 

It was quieter and the sun had gone down considerably, though it was still light out. Dean sat up, glancing around the room. He yawned, stretched and got up, heading out to the living room. Cas sat on the couch, reading a book.

"Hey," Dean croaked from the hall, making Cas jump.

"Hey," Cas huffed, pulling himself together.

"Where is everybody?" Dean asked, yawning again and sitting on the couch next to Cas.

"Um, outside. Bobby's making us hotdogs and chips for dinner. He has sparklers."

Dean grinned weakly. Sparklers? Oh well, he could play. That's what this whole week was for. "Okay." He gave Cas a quick glance. "Were you waiting on me?"

"No...I mean...I was just reading anyway."

Dean nodded, studying Cas a bit differently. His hair, his eyes, his shoulders...

"Dean," Cas said quietly.

Oh, God, was he going to confess something? Dean was so not ready for that!

"I think...just because of a few things she said, I think Charlie would like you to ask her out."

"Charlie?" Dean asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Cas nodded. 

"Oh. Huh." Dean's head still felt sluggish. So...Cas wasn't interested in him. Man, maybe Dean was totally reading Cas wrong. And why did that disappoint him?  
They sat there awkwardly a moment until Cas stood up. 

"I'm going out front. Coming?"

Dean followed Cas out the door. So...he had mistaken the whole thing. Or...was Cas testing him? Dean scrubbed a hand down his face and tried to wake himself up.

"There's Sleeping Beauty," Charlie laughed. "Guess Star Trek isn't your thing?"

"No, actually, I liked it a lot. I just...fell asleep."

"Have some hotdogs," Bobby offered, pointing to a plate of them.

They ate and ran around Bobby's driveway with the sparklers. He tried to watch Charlie. But honestly, he really didn't know what to look for. She was pretty. She was funny. She got him. That's what you looked for, right? So if she fits all three boxes, it must be okay to give it a try.

He watched as Cas and Sam lit sparklers off each other's. Cas made him nervous. Since the pool thing, almost sick on his stomach. Well, that sounds really bad. If someone makes you feel sick, then maybe that's nature's way of telling you 'no way'. He was funny. He didn't always get what Dean was going through either. So, when you compare the two, Charlie is by-far the no-brained pick. But it just didn't seem quite that easy. He'd rather be with Cas than anybody. Cas and Sam, even better. Gabe, Charlie, Cas, and Sam, now that was perfect. So why did people have to pair off and date? And what the hell did it really even mean? Why had Cas even suggested it? He just felt annoyed about the whole thing.

Bobby sat next to him on the porch step. "You been doin' okay?"

"Yeah," Dean answered automatically. Then he looked at Bobby. This was Bobby. "Not really."

Bobby nodded. "How's Sam?"

Dean watched Sam spin around and almost fall, laughing. "Better than me. But still. It just sucks sometimes." He pushed some gravel around with the toe of his sneaker. "Sam and I took Adam fishing. He kinda liked it. I mean, he's only 5. Sam and I figured we should teach him since Dad won't get to." Bobby's big bear paw of a hand landed on his shoulder. 

"See? That's good brother stuff, right there. And now Sam's learning to be a good big brother too." 

His hand lifted off his shoulder and Dean turned his head to watch how his beard moved as he ate a chip.

"So, how's the other thing going?"

Dean immediately got nervous. How did he know? And oh! Bobby was like Charlie's dad now! Or was he talking about Cas? How did he know that? "What other thing?"

Bobby gave him a funny look. "Playin'. Bein' a kid."

"Oh!" Dean took a breath and blew it out. "Good. Really good. I don't know about it bein' the key to life. But yeah, I've been trying."

"That's the funny thing about the keys to life. You usually don't know how well they work until you don't have one."

Dean grinned. "So there are more than one key to life?"

"Sure," Bobby nodded. "But playin' is the first one. And seein' how nobody bothered to give you the first key, I figured I better start there."

"You're like a white Mr. Miyagi!" Dean laughed.

Bobby shook his head at that. "Is that from Karate Kid?"

"Yes! Please tell me you've seen it!"

"Nah. Heard of it though."

"Ha! I'm telling Charlie. She'll fix that in no time!"

He ran over to where Charlie was fiddling with a telescope. "I almost have it," she said, adjusting a knob.

"Did you know Bobby has never seen Karate Kid?" Dean blurted.

"What?" She jerked her head up, looking at Bobby. "We are going to Blockbuster tomorrow and rent that video!"

Dean laughed, knowing it would bother her. "Thanks for introducing me to Star Trek."

She went back to adjusting knobs. "It's on every Thursday. But during summer, there are re-runs through the day."

Dean nodded. He guessed this would be as good a time as any to ask Charlie to...to what? Be his girlfriend? That seemed like way too serious and too fast. A thought struck him.

"Okay," she said slowly. "Look, can you see Mars?" She stood up, looking at Dean with some excitement.  
Dean leaned down, looking through the tiny circle. A pale reddish dot stuck out to him. "Wow! That's cool!"

"Awesome!" She sang.

"Hey, Charlie," Dean started, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at the ground. "Would you like to go to the dance with me tomorrow?" He looked up, needing to see her reaction.

She started to say yes, but then caught on to how nervous Dean was. Her face looked surprised, then unsure. "Do you mean...all of us?"

He wanted to say 'yes', dump this whole idea, and run back to the cabin. "No. I mean...me and you."

"Oh." She looked worried. "Um. Yeah."

He could see that this was making her super nervous. That made him feel both better and worse at the same time. "Like friends," Dean stammered, wanting her to feel better, but we could dance together and just...see."

"Yeah," she grinned. "Okay." She relaxed a bit and Dean did too.

"We can ride with whoever else wants to go," he continued, trying to smooth things out even more. 

"Okay," she grinned. "They play good music."

"Like Pearl Jam?" Dean asked flatly.

"Yes, jerkface," she shoved his shoulder, "like Pearl Jam!"

He laughed, walking over to Cas while Gabe and Sam went to look at the telescope. "Okay, I did it."

Cas handed him a fizzing sparkler. "Did what?"

"Asked Charlie out."

"Oh!" Cas looked shocked.

"You told me to!" Dean said, holding the stupid sparkler out to the side.

"Yeah," Cas nodded. Was that a fake grin from Cas? "Bet she said yes, right?"

"Yeah. I just asked her to dance a few times at the dance tomorrow. But we can all go. It's a lake thing."

Cas nodded, not looking too sure if wanted any parts of that.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Dean shrugged. "Besides, you're the one that put me up to this. So if everything sucks, I need you right there so I can yell at you right then." Dean grinned, swirling a circle with his sparkler and trying to be nonchalant.

Cas just looked at him a moment, then nodded his head. "Yeah. That'll be fun."

The sparkler died. The space between them darkened. And Cas walked away to look at the telescope. Dean wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure, that Cas was irritated. He went back and forth from being curious to irritated with the reaction and the whole damn situation for the rest of the night.

 

Day 4. Wednesday morning. The four arrived at Bobby's shed at 8:30. By 9:00, they were motoring across the lake in a nice boat. Bobby didn't talk much. But he always answered questions and explained why things were important. Sam and Cas looked like they were on a class field trip, all-but taking notes. Charlie had obviously done this a lot and acted as his assistant. Gabe was still at the cabin in bed. And Dean was kicked back, watching everything. Bobby knew about the beaver dam that they had found years ago. He said it was one of his favorite things to check on. It was a lot of fun, but he and Cas still had issues. Something was off.

They spent the afternoon back at the cabin. Sam played with Adam and Dean actually sat down and played a card game with Kate and Gabe. It was nice to actually have fun with her.

"So, what are you boys going to do today?"

"Goin' to a dance in a couple hours."

"That sounds fun!" She patted his arm. "Hoping anyone special will be there?"

"Yeah. I don't know. It's really no big deal."

She nodded. "Tell me more about this Bobby guy you boys talk about so much."

Gabe and Dean told her about Bobby and Charlie.

"I'd like to meet him. Maybe tomorrow."

They nodded. Parent involvement always worried Dean. He knew what he was doing, why didn't people just trust him. Then he thought about the kids he ran around with in Kansas. Yeah, a parent check on them might not go well. But Bobby was a sure thing.

"You can come with us when we go over to get Charlie to swim."

 

An hour later, Dean got a shower and put on his nicer clothes. Gabe and Cas did the same. They both offered to not go, so he could be with Charlie, but that was in no way happening. He made it quite clear they were coming whether they wanted to or not. They were his wingmen and that was all there was to it.

Even Sam was coming. Just him being nearby made his stomach hurt less.

"You need to chill," Gabe said, unlocking his bike chain and getting on it.

"I can't!" He sighed, trying to pull himself together. "This wasn't even my idea! I don't think I really like her like that."

"She's perfect!" Gabe laughed. "Geeky, funny, not annoying," he listed.

"I know," Dean sighed.

"She has pretty hair," Sam grinned. "And her computer is so cool."

"Oh yeah?" Dean smirked, "Why don't you date her?"

Sam laughed. "Girls are gross. Except Charlie."

"My point exactly," Dean agreed. They headed onto the road. It was a slight incline the whole way. Cas was ahead of them and being quiet.

"Guys," Dean said quietly, "stay behind me, I gotta talk to Cas a minute."

They both nodded, giving Cas a curious look.

Dean caught up to him and glanced back to see the other two behind them.

"Cas."

Cas turned to look at him, pulling a smile onto his face. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" He smiled. "Just seeing how this whole going out thing works."

Dean scoffed. "Well, I'm the wrong guy to learn from. I have no idea what I'm doing."

Cas smiled.

"See? That was a real smile. I know you too well, Cas. I know you don't like this, but what I can't figure out is why you told me to do it."

Cas looked straight ahead now, jaw clenching. "You two seem good together. I only suggested. You do what you want, Dean."

"Okay," Dean nodded. This was dangerous territory in his head. The more he talked, the more he wondered what Cas was really thinking. "I think that Meg girl likes you," Dean offered. "Although..."

"Although what?" Cas asked, annoyed.

"I don't like her. She seems like...just forget I said anything."

"Why? We could go on a group date."

Dean narrowed a look at Cas. "Are you just being a dick or do you really like that skank?"

Cas laughed. "Sorry. Okay. Dating is just...stupid to me."

Dean grinned at that. He forgot sometimes that Cas was a couple months younger than him. Dean was not ready for tonight. No wonder Cas wasn't either. He just needed to shut his head up and have fun with his friends. Friends. That's what he was good at. Throw 'girlfriend' in there and Dean got ten kinds of dysfunctional. 

They got to Charlie's and she came out like she always did. Her hair looked nicer and she had her cleanest pair of Chuck's on. 

They all barely said more than 'hi' before they were back on the road toward the barn.

Once there, you could hear the music from outside. It was a lot more family than what Dean had pictured. Little kids danced and ran around the informal room. Parents and grandparents danced too. Then there were some teenagers, but most of them stayed off to the sides.  
A Chili Pepper's song came on and Gabe and Charlie ran out to dance, Cas, Sam, and Dean, watching and laughing at their jumping. They pulled all of them into the center when EMF's Unbelievable started playing. They were all laughing and carrying on. It was fun! And Charlie was awesome.

Then a slow song came on. People started breaking into couples and Dean took Charlie by the hand. He might have been a mess in his head, but he was not gonna let her see any of that. Mariah Carey's "I'll Be There" played. Charlie bit her lip, looking at Dean shyly for the first time. He pulled her into a very loose dance hold and gave her a grin.

As the song played, they stepped in a circle. It was okay. They looked like the other couples out there. "The others sure ran off," Charlie said.

"I know. They think they're slick, but they're not," Dean laughed. 

Charlie had her hands on his shoulders and he was barely touching her hips. He was pretty sure he was doing this right. The song started ending and Dean was kinda glad.  
Then another Mariah Carey song started. Can't Let Go. It was slow. Dean hesitated only a step. He raised an eyebrow and she grinned, shrugging. He pulled her slightly closer and kept dancing. 

"They must really like Mariah Carey," Dean grinned.

"Everybody likes Mariah Carey," Charlie grinned.

Dean gave her a 'not-sold' look and Charlie laughed. She relaxed a little more and came slightly closer. 

"You have to at least admit she's pretty," Charlie said, tilting her head to the side.

"I guess," Dean smirked. "If you're into all that curly hair and...nah, not my type."

Charlie laughed.

As they circled around, Dean caught sight of Sam, Gabe, and Cas.  
Sam looked bored with a cup of something. Gabe was talking to a couple girls. Cas, that little bastard, was dancing with Meg. She was smiling. Cas looked miserable. Served him right. He told him he didn't like her!

Charlie turned to follow his gaze. "Mm, Meg."

"She's so trashy," Dean hissed. He caught Cas' eye through the crowd and lifted his hand, making a face as if to ask him "what the fuck??"

Cas shook his head and looked back at Meg, who was talking to him.

"He has no idea what he's messing with," Charlie shook her head.

Finally, thankfully, mercifully, the song ended. The most romantic song in the world could have come on next and Dean would have ignored it. He took one of Charlie's hands and they quickly went through the crowd to Cas and Meg.

She was giggling at something she had said.

"Come on, Cas," Dean said, putting an arm around his shoulder and steering him away from her.

"Hey!" Meg yelled.

"Thank you," Cas muttered.

"Dude, Just say no!" Dean scolded him. Off the floor, he let go of Charlie's hand and stepped away from Cas. Gabe was now on the floor with three girls, dancing to Baby Got Back, by Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Meg was scowling across the room with Ruby at her side.

"Look at Gabe," Dean said, shaking his head. He was the center of three very pretty, very risqué girls.

"There are children here," Cas said with disgust at the bumping and grinding.

A lady from the Activity Staff came over and said something to the group and they cooled it down a bit.

"Holy shit," Dean laughed. "Gabe's got game."

Charlie was watching with quite a lot of interest, but Dean could care less. He looked over at Cas, who looked...just...uncomfortable.

"We'll be back," Dean said to Charlie, who nodded. He whacked Cas' shoulder, getting his attention and waved him to follow him. They weaved all the way through the crowd and outside the building. It was dark now and the music was much quieter out here.

"You alright?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine. I just didn't really like Meg."

"Just tell her no, man. Be firm."

Cas nodded his head. "How did it go with Charlie?"

Dean shrugged. "Okay."

"Did you kiss her?" Cas asked.

Dean's eyes widened. "No!"

"Oh," Cas glanced away. "I thought that was what you did at dances."

Shit. Dean looked back at the barn. Was he supposed to have kissed her?

"No," Dean repeated. "I'm not...no."

"Haven't you ever kissed a girl?" Cas asked, a smile growing on his face.

Dean blushed. "Come on, Cas!"

"What?" Cas asked, crossing his arms, grinning and waiting for an answer.

"What do you think?" Dean asked, wondering just what Cas was thinking of him.

Cas rubbed a hand over his mouth. "I'm sure you have. And more."

"Huh," Dean stepped back. "Why? Because I smoked pot a couple times? Because I'm in trouble a lot?" Cas would not be the first person to assume such things about him, but while he didn't care what other people thought, he did care what Cas thought. "No, Cas. I have never kissed anyone. Not like that."

"Dean," Cas interrupted, looking surprised. "I didn't think any of that! I just figured...since you're, you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked really not sure if he should be insulted or not.

"I mean," Cas stammered, throwing a hand up, "I just figured you were pretty popular."

Dean bit his lip. Cas blushed and shrugged.

"Well, the answer is no." Cas shrugged like it didn't mean anything to him, but Dean's suspicions were growing.

"Let's get Gabe outta here before he ends up getting a little too lucky with one of those girls," Dean grinned, the pair heading back in. They found Charlie. She was blushing and talking to one of the girls Gabe had been dancing with. He figured Gabe must have just made some raunchy joke and did not ask.

"Is it okay if we're done here?" Dean asked Charlie.

"Yep!" She nodded, stepping away from Gabe and the girl. 

"Come on, Gabe," Dean waved.

Gabe gave him a slightly annoyed look, but said goodbye to the girl.

Dean cringed hearing, Baby Don't You Lose My Number, start to play. "Oh, HELL no," Dean hooked Sammy off the dance floor by his head. "No brother of mine is dancing to some Mili Vanili bullshit!"

"I was having fun!" Sam punched him weakly in the side. Dean just kept walking, Sam in a headlock.

"You make a shitty wingman," Gabe said, whacking Dean's shoulder. 

"That's because YOU are MY wingman tonight," Dean laughed.

Outside, they grabbed their bikes and headed back to Charlie's. At the foot of Bobby's lane, Gabe stopped. "We'll wait here."

Dean nodded, heading up the lane with Charlie.

"So, is Data supposed to be a robot?" Dean asked, going for something easy to talk about. He was pretty sure he was supposed to kiss Charlie when he got to her porch. There was no way that was happening. 1. Bobby might kill him and bury his body in the back yard. 2. What if it ruined his friendship with Charlie? And 3. He just didn't want to.

"Data is AI," Charlie explained. "He's cooler than just a robot. He kinda 'thinks' for himself."

"That's creepy," Dean shook his head.

"So, who's your favorite?" Charlie asked.

"Reiker," Dean said, without hesitation.

"Mine's Tasha Yar."

Dean wondered at that. "Favorite Star Wars character?"  
"Hmm. Laia is cool. The whole Jedi thing is cool. But I gotta say R2D2 is the bomb. You?"

"Han Solo."

"That figures," she laughed.

"Why?" Dean asked, already grinning.

"Because you act like him sorta. Kinda a scoundrel. But not really."

Dean nodded. It was true.

She leaned her bike against the house. "Night, Dean. I had fun."

"We came home early," Dean shook his head with a smirk.

"I know. Just being with you guys is the best though."

Dean bit his lip. He was definitely supposed to kiss her now. He could do it. "Thanks for dancing with me."

She nodded. "It was weird."

He burst out laughing. "Yeah, it was."

"I like weird," she shrugged.

Dean felt lost. Her signals were so mixed. He didn't want to disappoint her, but he didn't want to ruin anything.

"Dean," she asked, looking at him very carefully, "can I try something?"

He licked his lips and nodded. She stepped closer to him and went up on her tip toes.

He kissed her. One peck on the lips.

It was all wrong.

She grinned, going flat on her feet. "Okay, we got that out of the way. So..."

"Wait," Dean shook his head. There was definitely more to kissing than that. He leaned forward and kissed her again, longer than a peck, but fairly quick.

They stood there a moment, the night insects filling in the silence.

"Charlie," Dean said quietly.

"I know, she nodded. "It was just all wrong. Right?"

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "Yes."

"Okay, can I tell you something? You have to promise not to hate me."

"Charlie," Dean scoffed. "I don't think I could ever hate you!"

"Okay, well, I just thought...if I was gonna like a boy, you would be the one. You're perfect. I mean, to me. We have so much fun. We're friends."

Dean was nodding along and relaxing with every word.

"I just figured, if anyone got me, it was you. But the truth is, and now I'm like really sure, I just don't like guys. Like that."

Dean was nodding and agreeing right up until that last part. "Are you gay?" He blurted.

She swallowed hard, looking even smaller than usual. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure."

"Oh," Dean smiled. That was different. He never had anyone tell him something like this before. Gay. 

She started getting teary-eyed. 

"Charlie," he rushed, "I don't care. I mean, I do care." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I suck with words, I'm just gonna talk to you like I always do, okay?"

"Yes, please," she said in a tiny voice.

He cleared his throat. "Now that you tell me that, it makes sense. I think you're right."

"That I'm gay?"

"Yeah. And it's perfect. You are perfect. You are one of my best friends. I didn't really want to kiss you, I mean, I'm glad we did. Because now I know for sure that I just like you a whole, whole lot. And it has nothing to do with wanting to kiss you."

"I feel the same way," she grinned.

He hugged her tight, kissing her hair and laughing.

She held on tight, like the other time she had hugged him. "I love you, Dean. Like a brother."

He pressed his lips tight together. "I love you too, Charlie. Like a sister."

She stepped back swinging her arms out and exhaling a huge breath. "God! I feel so good! Like I could just take on the world!"

"You go, girl!" He said, high-fiving her and starting to get on his bike. "See ya tomorrow!"

He felt lighter than air, riding back toward the road. That was done. Charlie was his friend. Things were back to the way they should be.

"Ready?" He asked, finding Sam, Gabe, and Cas waiting at the side of the road.

"Damn, Winchester. Did ya get a quickie in, or what?" Gabe snorted.

Dean whacked him on the back of the head. "Shut up, Gabe. Don't talk about Charlie like that. And-" he pointed at Sam, "really?"

"Sorry!" Gabe frowned. 

They headed back to the cabin. He had a lot to think about. And he needed some space.

 

Day 5 started early in the morning. It was still dark.

"Cas," Dean whispered, shaking him slightly.

"What?" Cas mumbled, opening his eyes and scowling.

"You wanna come fishing?" Dean asked.

He could read the answer 'no' all over Cas' face.

"Please?" Dean asked.

Cas sighed. "Okay."

He waited while Cas got ready. He had a cooler packed and ready. They each got a pole from the trunk of the Impala and headed toward the lake. 

"Bobby signed out a boat for me. For us. You gotta be 16 or older, but he trusts us."

Cas nodded, still half asleep. 

Instead of two life jackets, he threw six in the little row boat. He stacked them at one end. "Here, Cas, come 'ere." He helped him get situated. 

"If I lay like this," Cas yawned, "I'm gonna fall asleep."

"That's fine," Dean grinned. "I just didn't want to go out by myself. I don't care if you sleep."

Cas rolled his eyes. "No," he said, sitting up. "I'll fish too."

"Alright," Dean grinned. "But you might as well chill. Because I'm gonna row us over to a nice spot I saw on our lake tour Bobby took us on. "I'll wake you up when we get there. If you fall asleep."

Cas settled back in, shaking his head at his stubbornness.   
Dean shoved them off the bank and hopped in gracefully, barely rocking the boat. He sat on the plank seat and started rowing determinedly. He could feel Cas' eyes on him. He had no idea what exactly he was up to. All he knew was, he was pretty damn sure Cas had flirted with him. Things with Charlie were perfect. And he was starting to think that nervous, nauseous feeling he got when he thought about Cas flirting wth him just might be nerves. In a good way. 

He rowed onward, loving the misty silence that early morning on the lake brought. The sun was starting to come up. The first three times he glanced back at Cas, their eyes met briefly. The fourth time, Cas was asleep.  
He grinned. The light was brittle with a golden glow. Cas looked absolutely angelic laying there. His hair was kinda crazy and he breathed easy and even.

Dean kept rowing.

With the sun fully over the rise at the east end of the lake, Dean found a shady nook to fish in. He gently let the little anchor down so he didn't wake Cas up.

Dean had been up half the night. Aside from figuring out what Cas was thinking, he had to figure out what HE was thinking. He baited his hook from the small container of worms he had gathered the night before. He casted his reel and set the hook, waiting. He could only guess so much what Cas was thinking. Before he even broached that subject, he had to be sure he even wanted something like that. The problem was, figuring out what he was attracted to. He thought about movies he had seen. Songs he had heard. None that he could think of, where about gay people. It just would've been nice to see another couple and have something to compare his own feelings to. He was pretty sure there was a show on MTV that had a gay guy in it. When he got home he would have to try and find it. Until then, all he could do was figure this out for himself.

He looked over at Cas' sleeping face. The only test he could think of, was that if he could line up the world's 10 most attractive people, who would be there? The more he thought about it, the more confused he got. His number one choice had always been Daisy Duke. Now he was kind of wondering about Luke and Bo. But the more he thought about TV shows or movies the less real it seemed. What was real was laying right next to him. And when he thought about it, Cas was the only person he really could think of anyway.

He didn't actually know anyone that was gay, except Charlie. So...yeah. He was on his own. Per usual. It didn't really freak him out. He just needed to test a few theories. His first experiment? Was kissing Cas better than kissing Charlie?  
The longer he thought about it, the more it appealed to him. He was going to leave and fish on his own, but he just didn't want to. He coulda brought Sam. But no. He needed some room here. So, in a crazy fit of excitement, he packed a cooler and woke Cas up. Now that he had him, what the hell was he going to do with him?   
The scariest part was the possibility that Cas was not interested. He would freak out. Tell the family. Dean and Sam would never be back here. Yeah. That would suck. He could always try to wait a year. He damn well knew he was not waiting a year. He'd be lucky if he could wait until tonight.

Dean relaxed back, getting comfortable. This was fishing. Chilling. Floating. 

 

Dean woke with a small jolt. He startled himself awake, rocking the boat. Cas startled too, the pair looking around in shock.

"I thought I dreamt I went fishing," Cas gasped, taking a deep breath. "Man, Dean. How long have we been out here?"

Dean sat up, grabbing his pole and leaning it on the side of the boat. He glanced at his watch. "Holy shit! It's almost noon!"

"What time did we come out here?"

"Around 5:30," Dean grinned apologetically. 

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas asked, shifting and looking at him with concern.

"I'm good!" Dean nodded. "I just...I didn't sleep well. I guess I was more tired than I thought."

Cas stretched, deciding nothing was particularly concerning, even though he had slept half the day away on a boat and barely knew it. 

Dean offered him a thermos of ice water. Dean reeled his line back in. The worm was long gone and there was no fish to show for it.

"Do you wanna fish?" Dean asked, baiting his hook. He glanced up, seeing that Cas was watching him.

"Nah, I'll just wait," Cas grinned.

Dean opened his bait box and pulled out Cas' book. "Here. I figured you might get bored."

Cas grinned, picking the book out of his hand. "Now, it's perfect."

Dean grinned, shaking his head.

"How long you planning on kidnapping me?" Cas asked, glancing over the top of his book at Dean.

He grinned. Yeah, those eyes. They were part of the whole issue here. The fact that they were parked under that thick, crazy hair and attached to his most favorite person in the world, next to Sam, was all just a bit too much.

"I...uh...I brought lunch."

Cas made an impressed face and went back to reading.

Dean fished for about half an hour before packing it in. "Where do you want to eat?"

"I don't care," Cas said. He smiled up at him. For some reason, all the two seemed able to do was smile at each other.

Dean thought a moment. "Okay, how about our hide-out spot. The place with the trees-"

"Yeah, that's perfect! I love that spot," Cas said, sitting up.

"I can paddle," he offered.

"I got it," Dean grinned.

"Well, then we can take turns," Cas said.

"Deal."

Dean rowed the entire way to their spot. He was going to be so sore tomorrow.

They pulled the boat up onto the grass at the closest bank spot to their copse of trees. Cas grabbed two life jackets and Dean carried the cooler. 

"Are the trees smaller?" Cas asked, looking at them funny.

"No," Dean laughed, "You were just a lot smaller."

"You were too," Cas laughed. "All covered with freckles."

Dean blushed. His freckles had started fading. But in the summer, after vacation, they were all out.

They found a good spot, sitting and opening the cooler.

"Did you tell Sam we were leaving?" Cas asked, looking in the general direction of the cabin.

"I left a note for Sam and Gabe. And Kate. And Bobby knows we're out here somewhere."

Cas nodded. "Why just me?"

It was a calculated question. Dean could tell. "Because. I just wanted it to be us."

Cas grinned, looking down to hide how hard he was grinning. Now that, that look...Dean took a slow, deep breath trying to not get too excited.

"What did you pack?" Cas asked, looking inside the cooler.

Dean definitely wanted to kiss him. There was no question. He watched as Cas dug through the cooler, pulling out two sandwiches.

"Ham and cheese," Dean pointed to one, "peanut butter and jelly," he pointed to the other. "Whichever one you want."

"Peanut butter!" Cas grinned.   
There was half a bag of Dorito's to share and a big thing of grapes. At the bottom, to stay coldest, were two sodas. 

"Which one do you want?" Cas asked. 

"Either is fine," Dean said. Cas gave him a small smile. There was, as usual, too much knowledge in those eyes. Dean suspected that maybe Cas knew what he was up to. Maybe he recognized a date when he saw one. It had not been Dean's original intention. But there was no denying it. And if Cas asked? Well, he'd just have to man-up and admit it.

They talked about comic books, movies, videos on MTV, and their crazy family.

Sandwiches gone, chips gone, sodas gone, they lay back in the grass using the life jackets as pillows.

"How's Benny?" Cas asked during a lull in conversation.

"Good, I guess," Dean shrugged. 

"You guys don't write over the summer?" Cas asked.

"No," Dean laughed. The thought of a stupid letter from Benny made him laugh harder. They had met each other when Cas came for the funeral. There had been such an awkward combination of people there. His dad was buried in Kansas, near his parents. Kate had wanted him cremated, but there was some argument about it between Kate and their mom. Neither one cared all that much in the end. He had cheated on both of them. He had left them both with kids and bills. His accident was because he was drunk and hit a telephone pole. But it had taken days before the family was notified. It was still strange that his dad, his biggest hero, his idol...had been so awful at being a husband and a dad. It still hurt that he was gone. But a small voice inside Dean admitted that things were better since he was gone. He hadn't been beat for whatever his mess-up of the day was. He had not been put down, ridiculed or reminded how disappointing he could be. Talk about disappointing. 

Benny was around for the funeral. Cas and Aunt Naomi had driven into town that day.

Kate and Adam were in Kansas too. Which was so weird. 

When Dean saw Cas walking toward him in the parking lot of the funeral home, Dean thought he might throw up or run. It was too real. Cas was there. Cas was summer and fun and sunlight and goodness. The contrast was more than he could handle. He started crying before Cas could even get to him. He hugged him so tight. Aunt Naomi kept patting his back, but he just couldn't let go of Cas. He heard Cas tell her to take Sam and Adam inside. Benny had disappeared, thankfully. He hated that he was crying. Crying was wimpy and weak. He had held out for so long. The harder he fought to stop, the worse he cried. Finally, he just gave in and slumped, boneless onto his friend. Cas just held onto him and sat him on the curb by the door. Dean was vaguely aware of adults around them. Sometimes people offered to help, but Cas wouldn't let anyone touch them.

They started the funeral ten minutes late because Dean couldn't get himself together. Finally, he walked in, eyes swollen, skin blotchy, and exhausted. He had pulled away from Cas finally and all he had left was anger. Cas made him weak. He would have been fine if Cas hadn't come. He at least had sense enough to keep that stupid thought in his head. But he held onto it. He didn't touch Cas again or even talk to him until he was getting ready to leave. His walls were back up and he was there for Sam, Adam, Kate and his mom. The funeral was long. The reception was long. It was all so...drawn out. He was wearing down to a zombie when he saw Cas put his jacket on as headed Dean's way.

"Are you leaving?" He asked, looking at Cas with no small amount of panic in his chest. 

Cas nodded. "We're driving back to Minnesota with Aunt Kate."

He asked his mom if he could go with Kate. She said no. And besides, there was Sam. 

"Thank you for coming," Dean had said, trying to act grown up about it.

"Oh, Dean," Cas said, looking like he might cry. "I don't want to go. I'm so sorry."

"Nah," he had grinned. "Sorry about all the bawling."

"Shut up," Cas had said, making Dean almost laugh. He hugged him goodbye. This time it was Cas that seemed to have a little trouble letting go.

Benny had teased him about his 'little cry-baby cousin'. That was the first time he got suspended. Apparently breaking people's noses, even your best friend's when they're being stupid, gets you suspended.

He and Benny had patched things up since then. They were good. But Sam still acted kinda shitty toward him.

"Do you want to do anything?" Dean asked, needing to change his train of thought. The memories were too heavy. Too much. He rolled his head, looking at Cas.

"I'm gonna climb that tree. Bet we can go way higher than we did when we were little," Cas grinned.

Dean grinned, hopping up. "Let's see!"

Cas jumped up as well. He was not as quick as Dean, but he made it look so easy to step from limb to limb. They climbed until neither could get any higher. "I see cabin roofs," Cas grinned. 

Dean squinted, "Ours is...right in the cluster of trees there."

Cas nodded. He turned. "There's Bobby's place!"

Dean looked. "Oh yeah."

Cas settled back against a thicker limb. He had two choices. Stay perched where he was, slightly wobbly with nothing behind him, or move. He did not want to move any further away from Cas. Their legs were touching and it was fine. It was normal. 

"What happened with Charlie last night?" Cas asked, glancing at Dean from the side.

"Oh," Dean didn't want to talk about Charlie. But he guessed he should set the record straight. "I'll tell ya, but it's a secret. One you have to promise to keep."

Cas actually paled slightly and looked really worried.

"I uh...I wasn't gonna kiss her."

Cas' mouth pressed into a thin line, but he nodded.

"I didn't really want to," he went on, almost grinning at the confirmation of Cas' reaction. "Then she asked me if she could try something. And she kissed me."

Cas waited, nodding and trying not to look anything but neutral.

Dean stifled a laugh. "It was gross."

Cas' eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

Excitement built up in Dean's chest so hard he could barely hear over his own heartbeat and rush in his ears. "Yeah. She didn't like it either. Turns out we were both just...making sure we weren't missing something."

Cas just looked at him.

Dean took a deep breath and tried to slow his heart rate down before he had a damn heart attack. "What I mean is...Charlie likes girls. She's gay."

"Oh," Cas said, brow furrowed. "I guess that makes sense, now that I think about it."

Okay. Cas didn't freak out at the gay word. He bit his lip and soldiered on. "And...I didn't tell her this, but I already have a...a huge crush on somebody else."

His breath was coming fast now. There was no hiding just how freaked out he was.

A look of understanding slowly settled onto Cas' face. He grinned and looked away. A mischievous grin like Dean had never seen on him was there and then gone. A big grin broke out again and he blushed hard.

They sat there for several moments. This was supposed to be smooth. Like the movies. But it turned out that last set of inches, that last chance before changing everything between you was gigantic.

Was he supposed to ask for permission? That seemed like a bad idea. He looked down, wondering where to put his hand or where to hold on so he didn't fall.

When he looked up at Cas, he was looking down the same nervous way.

"Cas," he said barely above a whisper.

Cas looked up. Their eyes locked. There was no going back now. And Dean didn't want to. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cas'. They were trembling. His mouth. His breath. His hands. And so were Dean's. He pulled back, biting his lip. That had to be the worst first kiss in history on his part.

Cas blew out a breath, his eyes searching Dean's face.

"Sorry, I'm not very good at this stuff," Dean said, blushing. But he had done it. And it was NOTHING like kissing Charlie. It felt like everything in life had shifted.

"Dean, are you okay?"

"Me?" Dean laughed nervously. "Am I freaking you out? Am I pissing you off? I don't want to mess this up."

Cas grinned like he had just won the lottery. "I'm good. We're good. I just...can't believe I kissed Dean Winchester."

"Because I'm a guy? Or because I'm me?" Dean asked. His heart rate was back to normal. He was still blushing, but he could think a little straighter.

"Because you're you," Cas grinned. "Bad ass, Dean Winchester."

"I'm not a bad-ass," Dean laughed.

Cas leaned forward. "I've had a crush on you since I met you."

"Dude, you did not," Dean scoffed, "you were really little then!"

Cas shrugged. He didn't care. All he looked was thrilled and eager.

Dean thought back. He couldn't quite pinpoint when it had happened. But it sure as hell had. And Cas was into it. Into him. Into guys. It was mind-blowing.

He let a breath out and leaned in, Cas meeting him halfway, kissing again. This time felt better. Warmer, wetter, and more relaxed.

They pulled back, both watching each other carefully. 

"What do we do now?" Cas asked.

Dean had not even thought beyond ten seconds ago. "No idea," Dean laughed. 

"So, am I a better kisser than Charlie?" Cas asked with some attitude.

Dean laughed. "There is NO comparison. NONE."

Cas grinned.

Dean was slightly lost now. He was 13. They lived in different states. Who knew what their family was going to say.

"I think we better not tell any family," Dean said. "If we do, they won't let us do stuff together. They might not let me come back."

"Even Gabe? And Sam?" Dean bit his lip. He never had a secret like this before. 

"For now," he said quietly, leaning in and kissing Cas again. He pulled back grinning. Now that he had had a taste, it was going to be hard to stop.

Cas grinned. "I think my chest is going to explode."

Dean huffed a laugh, "Yeah, mine too."  
Dean did not want to move, but his right leg had pins and needles from falling asleep.

Dean stood up on a lower branch. "We're gonna have to be careful. I think your mom would freak out."

Cas nodded.

"I might be in trouble for leaving with you so long today," Dean said, watching how dark blue Cas' eyes changed to, "but I just had to know."

"It was the teaching me how to play pool joke, right?" Cas laughed.

"Yeah," Dean nodded. 

"I thought I ruined everything," Cas said, his grin slipping for the first time today. "I thought sure you figured out what I meant and couldn't stand to be around me."

"No!" Dean shook his head, grabbing Cas' hand and holding onto it. "I just...I don't know. I never quite thought of it that way. I mean, you're my best friend. I miss you all year. When I can't come to the lake, it fucking kills me."

Cas squeezed his hand back. "Me too."

They sighed, knowing what they were getting into was not going to be easy. They climbed out of the tree. It was a new perspective. A new way. And Dean just had to. He kissed Cas again, wrapping his arms around him, Cas doing the same.

"I swear, every time I kiss you, it just gets better," Dean said, resting his forehead down on Cas'.

"We gotta go back," Dean finally said, after several minutes.

"I don't want to," Cas admitted.

"Me either. But we gotta. Just...I don't know, Cas. I don't really know how to do this. How do we even write to each other? What if someone reads a letter?"

Cas nodded, frowning. "I don't know."

"We are so late," Dean said, looking nervous.

"Let's take the boat back and then walk home," Cas said, that taking some of the time away.

"Yeah. Okay."

They gathered their things and put them in the boat. Dean grabbed Cas' hand, pulling him up into the trail quickly before they left to kiss him again. They both grinned and ran back to the boat.

"I'm never gonna stop blushing," Cas laughed.

"Me either. Just blame it on sunburn!"

Cas rowed around the bend and down the stretch of lake until they got to the boat rental by Bobby's shed.

"Okay, here we go," Dean said, approaching Bobby's shed with their secret hanging on them so heavy he felt like everyone could see. 

"Hey there," Bobby called. "You idjits out there long enough?"

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "I got a call from 'Kate' three hours ago. They been worried about you two."

"Shit," Dean said, shaking his head. "We went fishing for a long time. Then we ate lunch and fell asleep."

Cas nodded.

"Well, I better run you back on the golf cart."

"Sorry for the trouble, Bobby," Dean said.

"Ah," he waved him off. "Parents just worry. Did you have a good day?"

Dean huffed a laugh. "Best day of my life."

Bobby looked at him a little surprised and Cas' face went from shocked to really, really happy.

"Yeah?" Bobby laughed. "What did ya catch?"

The catch of a lifetime. The one. "Nothing. We just had a lot of fun on the water."

Bobby scowled, looking at both of them carefully. "You idjits weren't smokin' pot or anything stupid, were ya?"

"NO!" They both answered in shock.

"Alright," Bobby nodded suspiciously. "Let's get you boys home."

Dean and Cas got reamed out big time for being so late. Dean apologized profusely and all-but cried to get Kate and Naomi to settle down. Cas' insistence that he was having so much fun and then they both fell asleep after lunch helped some too.

Sam, on the other hand, was pissed.

He was standing in the doorway to their bedroom, arms crossed and jaw so tight he looked like his little head was going to explode. Gabe stood behind him with one hand protectively on his shoulder.

After apologizing his way out of Kate and Naomi's clutches, they were faced with Sam.

"Why didn't I get to go?" Sam asked, tight and stiff.

"I don't know," Dean sighed. "I didn't mean to be gone so long."

"You coulda come back to get me. You coulda woke me up."

"Uh, Sam, I'm sorry. I'll make sure you get to come next time. I didn't purposely leave you behind."

Sam shifted, his giant-stone-man attitude softening a little. For being 9, he was kinda small. With Gabe behind him and that angry face, he just seemed even younger than usual.

"Sammy," Dean frowned.

"Don't tell me to be a soldier. I don't wanna hear that crap, Dean. Just don't..."

This had very little to do with Dean being gone today. It had more to do with dad. Every now and then, Sam could kinda freak out on Dean and think Dean was going to leave him.

"Buddy," Dean said, squatting, making Sam taller than him. 

"Don't 'buddy' me," Sam snapped.

"Sam," Dean said more stern, "I left you a note."

Sam shook his head and looked up at Gabe. Gabe shrugged, shaking his head no.

"Damnit," Dean stood, pushing his way into the room. He looked around, finally finding it on the floor under Cas' bed. "Here it is. It must have fallen."

Sam snatched the paper and huffed. Gabe stepped out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.

"I didn't leave, Sam," Dean said quietly.

His anger was gone. Now he was just embarrassed and upset. 

"Wanna do something now?" He asked.

"No," Sam said quietly. "Sorry."

Dean grabbed Sam's forearm, pulling him in for a hug. "I'm never leaving you, dweeb. Never."

"I know. I'm an idiot."

"Only I get to call you that," Dean snapped. Dean stared at him until Sam huffed and relented. 

"Fine."

"We good?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Love you. Jerk."

"Love you too, bitch!" Dean spun him around and shoved him on Cas' bed, making him laugh.

Dean pulled the door open. "Man-drama over."

Cas and Gabe both came in.

"You good now?" Gabe asked.

"Yes," Sam said, head down and looking away.

"Need me to beat him up?" Gabe asked, acting like he was pushing his sleeves up for a fight.

"No."

"You sure? It might make me feel better."

"Gabe," Sam chastised. 

"Fine." He dropped his hands and turned on Dean. "So where were ya? Really?"

"Right where I said we were!" Dean held his hands up.

Gabe squinted. "Fine. Whatever. Don't tell me."

Cas shook his head and sat on his bed, Sam crawling out of it. The night ended with card games and hanging out on the deck for dinner.

 

 

Day 6. They rode to Charlie's to get her. She came back to the cabin to swim and hang out with them. Her and Dean might be a little closer than ever, but they were also back to what they normally were.

"So," Gabe flopped down on his towel, dripping wet from the lake and popped his sunglasses up. "How's the dating scene?"

"Gabe," Dean huffed, "God."

Charlie laughed. "Nonexistent. Just friends."

"Really?" Gabe asked with way too much curiosity. "Interesting."

Dean shot him a nervous look.

"So, we need some plans," Gabe smirked.

"What kind of plans?" Cas asked.

"Like, being able to see each other more than once a friggin' year. Think Bobby would bring you to visit?"

"I doubt it," Charlie shrugged. "But we can write. For sure. And I appreciate stickers."

"Stickers?" All three boys asked.

"I do. And glitter. Drawings are welcome."

They all exchanged looks and Dean could not fathom buying and using stickers. But for Charlie? He'd do it.

Cas got a huge smile. "I will, Charlie."

"I know you will!" Charlie jumped up, hugging him and kissing his cheek. "I do have to go."

"Cas and I can take you home," Dean said, jumping up.  
Sam stood up. "I'll go."  
"Nah, you stay with me Sam the Ham," Gabe grinned.

"Stop that, Gabe. I'm not Sam the Ham."

"Well, you didn't like shortstack either!"

Dean winced. Sam was a little touchy about being so short.

"You know what?" Gabe sat up, pointing at Sam, "From now on, I shall call you Samsquatch. Sam the Sasquatch. That's how tall you're gonna be!"

Sam rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah right," Dean laughed. "He'll never be taller than me at least."

"Oh yeah," Gabe nodded knowingly.

"No way. Older brothers have to be the tallest," Dean scowled.

"Yep, it's happenin' Dean-O. He's gonna be taller than Cas, taller than Dean, even taller than me!"

"Shut up," Sam laughed, bowling Gabe over on the grass to stop his tirade.

"Here we go, Samsquatch!" Gabe yelled, snapping his fingers. "It's done!"

"Bye guys!" Charlie laughed. 

They jumped up, grass in both their hair as they hugged Charlie. 

They rode to Charlie's, taking their time in the summer heat. Charlie and Cas gave him a randomized education on Star Trek. Dean listened, laughing at their excitement about some things and their debating about others.

They ended up sitting on the porch with Bobby for a soda.  
Cas and Charlie went inside to write down addresses and Charlie wanted to show Cas something on the computer. Dean opted not to go in, sitting next to Bobby on the step.

"So, goin' home tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you have a good week?"

"I had the best week ever." He looked at Bobby. "I played a lot. You were right."

"I generally am, just so ya know," Bobby grinned, bumping Dean's shoulder, making him laugh.

"I also have a goal."

"Really?" Bobby pulled his hat off, scratched his head and reseated the hat on his head.

"I'm gonna have to really get my shit together. It's gonna be a bear."

"What's your goal, if ya don't mind me askin'?" 

Dean stood up, the stress of the thought weighing heavily on him. "I...am going to do so well in school that I can go to college with Charlie."

"Wow," Bobby said, chewing on his lip.

"What?" Dean asked defensively. "I can go to college."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "I know that, Dean. Just be sure your goals are for you. Not for other people."

Dean nodded. "I'll try," he shrugged.

"S'all you can do." Bobby stood up. "I sure hope we see you next summer, Dean. Sam too. And you call if you need anything."

Dean nodded. He really hated leaving this year. This was too hard. He leaned down and hugged Bobby.

"Aw, you boys are good boys. Don't let anybody tell ya different. Hear me?"

"Yeah," Dean said. He stood up, clearing his throat. "I'll miss ya, Bobby."

"I'm gonna miss you too."

Cas and Charlie came out and they said their goodbyes.  
Dean and Cas headed home. As he rode, thinking about Bobby, he realized he felt so much better than he had before he came here this year.

Cas slowed down and pulled over to the side, Dean following.

They got off their bikes and walked a short ways into the woods to sit on a fallen tree.

"It smells really good right here," Dean said, looking around.

"Lily-of-the-Valley," Cas said.

"How do you even know that?" Dean laughed.

Cas shrugged. "They always smell so good." Cas got up and with just a little bit of shuffling, he turned around and came back. "For you."

Dean took a small bunch of little white flowers. "They smell SO good," he grinned. "Thank you." He kissed him on the cheek. "You always give me flowers."

"I do?" Cas asked with his head tilted endearingly. 

"The first day I met you, you gave me a daisy. The next year you gave me Honeysuckles."

"I remember that," Cas grinned.

"The next year you were throwing those purple flowers that look like badminton birdies at me. I kept one."

"You kept one? Really?"

"Yeah, Dean blushed, not that Cas could see him in the dark, "I have the daisy and the honeysuckles too. The purple one-"

"Purple Coneflower," Cas said quietly.

"Okay, that," Dean chuckled. "And now I have Lily-of-the-Valley."

"You kept them all?" Cas asked, still shocked.

"Yeah! I keep them in a book in my room."

Cas shook his head in awe. He slid closer, Dean putting his arm around him.

"I gotta say goodbye now," Cas said. It was pretty dark, only moonlight to see by. "I don't want to leave here, Dean."

"Me either. But we have to."

Cas nodded and Dean saw a shimmer on his face. "Don't cry," Dean whispered, wiping the tear off his cheek.

"I got an idea!" Cas said suddenly. "Stickers! We can write secret messages on the back of stickers for our letters!"

Dean grinned. "That's genius!" 

The pair quieted, not wanting to leave. Dean reached over and held Cas' hand. "I want you to know that I'm not gonna date anyone else."

"Me either," Cas shook his head.

"I am gonna miss you. So. Bad." Dean said.

"We can do it," Cas nodded.

"Three years, I'll be driving."

"God," Cas sighed.

"Two and a half, actually."

"We gotta go," Cas said, standing.

Dean nodded, standing. He kissed Cas one last time. They held hands until they got out of the woods.

Back on their bikes, they rode the rest of the way back quietly.

It was hard to sleep next to him. The cavern between their beds was gigantic. Dean barely slept, thinking about him.

 

 

Day 7. It was raining. Dean hugged Gabe goodbye, promising to write more. He waved to his cousins and said goodbye to some of his aunts and uncles.

He walked over to Cas and hugged him. In his ear, quiet and rushed, Cas said, "I'm gonna write to you a lot. It's gonna be boring and stupid and all any of it really means is that I miss you."

Dean pulled away, nodded. "Me too."

He left, unable to look at anyone else. This time he rode shotgun while Kate drove.


	5. 1993

Chapter 5. 1993

Did Dean write to Cas? Are they still crushing or has a year apart broken them?   
Warning- for the next few chapters the guys have to deal with some (common for the 90's) homophobia. Trust me, I was around for the rift of tolerance to intolerance that was the 90's.

Milton family cousins and ages:  
Michael 19  
Luc 18  
Raphael 18  
Cloe 18  
Lottie 16  
Gabriel 15  
Attie 14  
Dean 14  
Cas 13  
Hannah 12  
Anna 11  
Sam 10  
Adam 6

3rd week of July, 1993

 

Letters had been sent. They had made an agreement of one a month as to not arouse suspicion. Cas learned to write really small. Dean wrote to him a lot. Once a month, he fit however many pages he had into one envelope. The stickers were hit and miss. Sometimes they stuck to the paper too much, other times you could read right through them. They honed their skills as time went on. The letters varied in telling stories about friends or school or home. Other times admitting problems they were having to feeling completely insecure being gay and being so far apart. They encouraged each other to be brave, to keep going and to hang on until summer. Cas' stickers were Dean's favorite part. He would draw a heart or just write I miss you. It was official, Dean Winchester was a softie of the most sickening type. The letter he got before leaving for vacation had 2 stickers. The first one, a Chiquita banana sticker, had "I miss your hands" written on the back. Dean had stared at it a moment and grinned. He had remembered the last letter he had written he missed Cas' eyes. But they were remarkable. There was nothing special about his hands. He looked at them to see. Nope. Nothing special he could see. The second sticker was in his wallet right now. It was the longest he'd received. 'I fear when I see you that all these words won't be true. That the letters keep you busy or that you actually have a girlfriend in Kansas. Maybe you sit with Benny and make up things to tell the weird gay cousin from summer. Sorry. Sometimes...most of the time I am quite sure there is no way you could still be interested in me. If this is true, please just tell me. Cas

It was like all their words had fallen on deaf ears! But Dean knew what it was. It was Cas being insecure and scared. He knew because he had felt the same way many times. He had a lot to talk to Cas about. Gabe and Sam for starters. And Charlie. They needed to know. 

Otherwise, they were all going to hate him for grabbing Cas on day 1 and not resurfacing again until day 7. That was what he really wanted. His knowledge of being gay had quadrupled over the school year. Not that it had been easy and not that it was saying much. Right now, gay meant you had aids. People seemed to think they were one in the same. If you had aids you were gay or a druggie or both. Or African. It was frustrating to hear. He corrected people when they said it around him and he had gotten into a fight at school once for talking about it at lunch. His reputation was spotty already. Fall had gone really well. Dean played football and Sam was quite capable of taking care of himself. Sam had pointed out, which had never occurred to Dean, that when Dean was 10, he made dinner for both of them on a regular basis. He was doing 'dad stuff' at that age. All Sam had to do was not die on his own watch. Dean learned to let go a little bit. Cas had helped him through too. Once football season was over, the pressure to behave was not as high. That was when the lunch incident happened. He had put his head down after that and worked his way back into good standing again. Next year was high school and he was already ready to be done with it. College was the key. If he and Cas and Charlie and maybe even Gabe got into the same college, it would be epic. Dean tapped his fingers on the armrest.

"Oh my God, Dean," Sam said from the back. "I'm going to cut all your fingers off!"

"That's gross, Sam!" Adam laughed.

"Boys," Kate warned.

Dean chewed on his thumb nail to keep his hand still.

"Dean, are you worried about the trip?" Kate asked.

"No. Just stuff."  
She nodded, looking unsatisfied.

"I'm good," he assured her. "So, what are you and the aunts going to do?"

Kate prattled on about going to the movies, taking an art class at the barn (Apparently there were adult activities too), and taking Adam and Sam to a nearby museum. Poor Adam. That shit was for Sam, but Dean wasn't touching it with a ten foot pole. He had plenty to do this trip. He was 14 and ready to have a boyfriend for the first time. Even if it was only in hiding and in small doses.

The car turned onto the small path by the cabin and Dean could practically hyperventilate. They pulled in and Dean had to bite his lip when he saw Cas and Gabe come down the steps to greet them.

He jumped out of the car and had Cas in his arms a second later. Entirely too soon, he had to let go and move over to hug Gabe. Cas looked so much older this year. He was 13 and they were almost the same height. Gabe was a tiny bit shorter than Dean now, which was so weird.

"And Samsquatch!" Gabe yelled. "Wow," he said flatly, Sam rolling his eyes. Sam had grown a whopping 2 inches over the school year. Gabe could easily rest his arm on the top of Sam's head, which he began doing on the regular.

The great room debate broke out. Adam moved upstairs with the rest of the kids. Michael wasn't there. He was on another trip with a friend from college. Luc and Raphael were 18. Both were starting college in a month. Luc was going to law school and Raphael was going into politics. Dean could not image Raphael in public service whatsoever. The guy was as self-centered and self-serving as they came. Luc had earned himself such a despicable reputation that Dean almost felt sorry for him. Dude was on the deck already. The debate was, Luc and Raphael had an empty bed. The younger kids room was short a bed. Technically, Gabe should move up to the older room. But none of them were having that.

"Adam and Sam can share," Dean shrugged.

"Dude!" Sam threw a towel at him. 

"Whatever, Sam. I'll share with him," Dean sighed.

"Fine! "Sam conceded, "Three nights with you, three with me."

"Deal," Dean said.

"Hell, I'll take a night," Gabe offered. "Anything to not have to bunk with Luc and Raphael."

"Score!" Sam laughed.

"So, where do I put my bag?" Adam asked, head tilted in confusion like a lost puppy.

"Out on the deck, you little shrub!" Dean said through clenched teeth, tickling Adam until he screamed. He took off to find Anna. Sam went with him.

Cas shut the door to their room when Gabe jumped off his bunk and went into the bathroom. No sooner was the bathroom door shut than Dean had Cas against the door, kissing him. 

"My God, I missed you," Dean whispered.

"Me too," Cas said nervously. 

"Tonight, I will be waking you up to come outside with me," Dean whispered again. Kissing him and stepping back.   
Both of them panted slightly and turned away, busying themselves with unpacking. 

"Did you both bring bikes?" Dean asked.

"Yep," Cas said.

"Yes," Gabe said, as he walked back in. "I got my permit the other day, but I gotta have a licensed driver with me.   
Dean shrugged. "That's awesome Gabe, but we can bike it another year."

"It will be awesome when you can drive," Cas smiled.

"So, what's on the agenda today, campers?" Gabe asked.

"I wanna talk about college," Dean said, catching them both off guard.

"You wanna what?" Gabe said, shocked.

"Do you know what you want to go to school for?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah," Gabe nodded. "Culinary. Why?"

"Do you already know where you want to go?"

"Oh my God, I'm only going into tenth grade! You sound like my guidance counselor."

Dean grinned. "Well?"

Gabe scowled. "I have no idea. Cooking maybe. Or a writer. Or...I don't know! Why?"

"So, Cas and I have been talking," Dean said, making Cas slightly nervous. " We want to go to the same college. It'll be fun. You want in?"

"Do I? Of course I do! That would be amaze-balls!" Gabe cheered. "You guys wanna be chefs?"

"No," they laughed. 

"I"m planning on auto mechanic school or mechanical engineering, automotive repair," Dean said. "Cas?"

Cas shrugged. "I don't even care. I just want to go where you guys do."

Dean grinned at that. They were either being really stupid or stupidly romantic. 

"And Charlie, she wants in on this too," Dean added.

"Huh," Gabe squinted, looking between the two. "That's a lot to coordinate."

"It is," Dean nodded. "And I'm not asking anyone to pick a school because of me. I just thought we could talk about it. And you're the first to go to college since you are a grade ahead of me, Cas, and Charlie."

"It's an interesting thought." Gabe said, thinking. "We'd need to find a good school with everything all four of us want. And then all get in..."

"Yeah, I have no idea how to make it happen, exactly, but I think it's worth a try," Dean said.

"Wanna head to Charlie's?" Cas asked.

"Yeah," Dean and Gabe agreed.

They headed out, not sure where Sam was off to.

 

They rounded the corner to Bobby's shed. The door was open and customers were renting boats. Charlie saw them from her seat on the stool and took off running toward them.

Her first target was Cas, who she hugged so tight he almost fell to the ground. She kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair.

Dean was next with several kisses on his cheeks and good solid sock to the arm after her hug.

Gabe took the offensive and tackled her back instead, blowing raspberries on one of her cheeks until she was screaming with laughter.

The customers had gone by the time all four were on their feet and turned back to the shed.

"Buncha idjits," Bobby swore, shaking his head.

"Hey, Bobby!" The guys all shouted.

"Here, settle the hell down and have a popsicle."

They took seats on the stools, Charlie sitting cross-legged on the counter. Gabe laid his head on her thigh and she proceeded to pet him like a cat. 

"Cas, how you been?" Bobby asked.

"Good. My team came in third in tristates in soccer. And my swim times keep improving. The coach is really tough. Um..I.."

"He got straight A's all year," Dean added. "Won a writing contest."

Bobby nodded. "What kinda writing contest?" His eyes shifted back over to Dean though.

"Short story young adult variation on a European Classic," Cas added. "I did a futuristic Oliver Twist."

"Cool," Bobby grinned so hard his beard bristled.

"Gabriel?"

"Well, I'm passing. I got my permit. That's about it."

Bobby nodded. He grinned at Dean. "I know how you been doin'."

"He hangs your report cards on the fridge next to mine," Charlie laughed.

Dean was shocked. It had been a weird thought, but he sent Bobby a quick note when he got his first report card. He sent the paper to Bobby and wrote, "Working on my goals and 'playing' football!"

Bobby sent him ten bucks and a note saying how proud he was. 

It had been the boost he needed to get him through the next semester.

He got ten bucks every marking period. Even the third when he got 2 B's.

"Where's Sam?" Bobby asked.

"Back at the house, he'll be down tomorrow."

 

They headed to the snack bar for drinks and sandwiches. They talked endlessly about TV, movies, music, school, and future plans. 

Charlie was the most organized. She actually brought a notebook, took notes, made a list of questions to research, and they could tell that she was already looking into colleges.

"I keep a box in my room for college information. When you write to them, they send you a ton of information," Charlie said. "And my school has a college fair every year. Yours probably do too."

"I can't believe I'm on vacation and you putzes are talking about college," Gabe complained.

"Hey, we get one week of uncensored conversation," Charlie smirked.

Gabe grinned. "Speaking of censored, I got a question."

Dean looked away from the list of research questions and watched as Gabe and Charlie exchanged a look.

"What?" Dean asked when both sets of eyes landed on him.

"Are you," Gabe stalled, "Are you and Cas...a thing?"

Charlie bit her lip, obviously knowing the question was coming.

Dean looked at Cas in shock. Cas' eyes were wide and he couldn't seem to regulate going pale or blushing.

"What the hell kinda question is that?" Dean asked, kicking Cas' foot under the table.

"We just," Charlie stammered, "noticed some...looks."

Cas continued to stare open-mouthed at the pair.  
Dean tapped Cas' shoe again. He blinked a few times, turning to Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow, asking if they could share or were they going to do the big denial lie thing?

Cas closed his mouth and gave Dean a terribly worried look. This could potentially ruin everything.

Cas wasn't going to brave either decision, so Dean took control. He leaned forward onto the table, one hand secretly laying on Cas' thigh to assure him things would be ok.

"We had planned on telling you this week," Dean admitted.

Charlie's face lit up like fireworks. "Oh my God! I knew it!"

Gabe nodded thoughtfully. 

"Sam doesn't know yet," Dean said. "But I will tell him."

"Does anyone know?" Charlie asked.

"No. No one. The family will freak out," Dean said, exchanging a worried look with Cas.

"This is soooo West Side Story! Or Foot Loose, take your pick!" Charlie beamed.

"How did you know?" Cas asked, obviously still worried.

"The looks," Gabe shrugged. "It's kinda hard to miss."

"It really is," Charlie nodded. "And...I'm pretty sure Bobby is wondering too."

Dean and Cas both sat back in the booth seat. Dean's hand was to himself again. "We thought we were doing pretty good."

"You're definitely gonna have to chill at the cabin," Gabe said. "If Luc or Raphael even get a SNIFF of this, it'll be all over."

"If you two need a minute," Gabe continued, "Just let me know and I'll try to make it happen."

"Yeah," Dean leaned forward, trying to not sound too desperate. "I need a minute. I need a day. Ya know what-"

Gabe held his hands up and Charlie just melted into a dopey grin. "I get it!"

Cas just gave him an incredulous smile.

"Yeah, Cas," Dean encouraged the grin. "I'm goin' nuts inside. It's all I can do to keep myself contained."

"Whoa, tiger," Gabe snickered.

Cas' face got more serious as his blush crept redder and redder.

"Don't say anything to Bobby," Charlie said. "He might feel obligated to do the parent thing. He won't care otherwise, but...let's just keep him out of it."

They all nodded.

Nothing else was said as they left the snack bar and headed back to Charlie's. Sam and Anna showed up on Sam's bike and the computer geek talk went into full swing. Dean ended up outside on the porch with Anna.   
Even Gabe was starting to get into computer crap. Charlie insisted computers were going to be absolutely everywhere now and the he needed to embrace it. He did not need a computer to fix a car. That much he knew.  
Bobby stomped onto the little porch, kicking mud off his shoes. "Haven't seen this one fer awhile," he said, looking at Anna.

"I'm Anna. I rode along because Sam wanted to come see you and he wasn't allowed to go alone."

The front door burst open and Sam bear-hugged Bobby.

"Uncle Bobby! Man, I missed you!" Sam said.

"Missed you too, Squirt! How've you been?"

"Good. I saw you have pictures I drew for you when I was little." 

Dean had seen them too. Two crayon depictions of them at the lake. Bobby wearing an attempt at a flannel shirt.

"You can throw them away," Sam laughed.

"Never!" Bobby looked affronted. "Don't you know I'm a pack-rat, boy! Those will be there til...forever," he shrugged.

"I brought my camera," Gabe said, pulling out a black bag. "I have no pictures of you or Charlie. I think it's time we get some."

Gabe took pictures of every pair he could put together, promising to share them and mail copies to them.  
Dean wanted the picture of him and Cas so bad. It was evidence. Proof. And there were plenty of low moments over the school year that he needed that.

They headed back to the cabin for dinner and had clean-up duty.

They got family pictures out on the deck.

The evening ended with a movie. Gabe had brought a ton of movies for them to watch. Since Cas and Dean rarely went to the movies, it was a safe bet they would be new to them. They did a comedy first. Encino Man. It was crowded enough on the couches that Dean and Cas on the floor, sharing a blanket went unnoticed.  
It was earth-rocking every time Cas' shoulder would bump his or their elbows would bump. A foot would creep over and rest against the other's leg.

And if Cas leaned over to talk quietly to him, Dean had to close his eyes and breathe to keep control of himself.

It was exhausting. The want was so strong. But on the outside, they looked like everyone else.

 

 

Day 2 started at 2am. Dean sat up in bed and put his feet on the floor. Cas did the same without any cue from Dean. They gently stood up and tip-toed out of the room.  
Dean went to the back door and looked out. Luc and Raphael were not there. They went out and down the steps. Dean just kept going. He felt like he couldn't get far away enough from prying eyes. They walked all the way to the old beaver dam that had been torn down sometime over the year.

"We need to talk," Dean said gently, taking Cas' hand timidly. "That last sticker I got,"

Cas looked down guiltily.

"That is not true. Ever. No one sees your letters but me. I keep them in a locked box under my bed. The biggest lie I've told is at school. People think I'm going out with a girl I met over the summer named Cassie. Even Benny thinks that's true." He shrugged, hoping Cas wouldn't hate him for that.

Cas laughed. "You...that's actually not a bad idea."

Dean exhaled a breath. That had been bothering him for months.

"You can be my girlfriend named Deana," Cas grinned.

Dean rolled his eyes. "If it helps keep the others away from you, then yeah. Deana it is."

They hugged each other, just standing in the woods, holding on. Dean finally got a hand in his hair. His fingers crawled through the strands and he just could not stop touching it.

"We have to be so careful, Dean," Cas said, his voice muffled into Dean's shoulder.

"I know. I'll do better. It's just so...hard. And I had to tell you to not worry. I love your letters. The things you tell me. I feel like I know you, your friends, people at your school. And every time you say you miss me..."

"I miss you all the time," Cas admitted. "All the time, Dean. It's awful."

"I'm sorry," Dean squeezed him tighter. "It will get better."

"I know," Cas whispered. "But not this year."

"No. Not this year."

They stood there, just holding each other.

"Cas..."

"Yeah?" He asked, looking at him. 

"You deserve so much better than me. I just want you to promise that if you want to break up with me, you'll tell me."

Cas gave him a horrified look. "No! Dean...no. I feel the same way. You deserve someone who is there. Someone braver, who would tell their parents. The hottest guy in your school!"

Dean laughed. "You are the hottest guy in my school. In any school."

"Shut up," Cas scoffed, pushing Dean gently and blushing.

Dean took his face into his hands and kissed him. "It is true." He kissed him again.  
Cas opened his mouth the tiniest sliver and Dean rushed in. It was bizarre and wet and he wasn't sure how to breathe. He pulled back, biting his own lip.

Cas just looked at him hungrily. "Do it again," he whispered. "I'll do better."

Dean thought it was pretty earth-shattering the first time. Doing that 'better' might not be a good idea! In fact, they should go back. Instead, he held Cas as close to him as possible and tried again. They both moved smoother and gentler. It was heaven and Dean never wanted to stop.

All the holes inside him from missing Cas were being filled by being closer than Dean ever thought possible. 

A noise from the lake brought both of them back to reality. "We should go," Dean said, his forehead resting on Cas'. They were almost the exact same height and it made kissing him so easy. He was just...right there.

"We should go," Cas finally agreed.

"We should do this again," Dean said, squeezing his hand.

"Maybe-"

Both of them froze. They heard voices. Guys, girls, giggling. 

"Shit," Dean whispered. "It's Luc. He has a bunch of people by the lake."

Cas held up a finger to silence him and waved for him to follow him the opposite way.

They took a long, winding path through the woods until they came to the road and had to to follow it back around to the cabin. It took much longer. They were wet, dirty, and exhausted by the time the cabin was in sight. 

"Maybe Gabe can help us think of something better," Dean smirked as they hiked up the steps and back inside.

Cas nodded and they went inside, changing quietly and getting back into their own beds.

 

Four hours later, Dean woke again. Cas was curled up on his own bed in his sleeping bag, head mostly buried within. It was adorable. 

Sam and Adam were already up and playing outside. The sun was up and the day was going to be perfect.

They spent the entire day outside playing in the lake. The sisters of fate were, per usual, barely around. Hannah and Anna hung out with them, playing ball in the water, laying in the sun, and eating whatever snacks they could get their hands on. It was lazy, warm, easy, and fun. There was no work to be done. No one was angry and best of all, Cas was there. He was just...there! Every time he scanned the water and saw him or happened to look up and there he was, it made Dean some kind of happy he had never felt before.

They ended the day with another movie. Tonight, Dean sat on the couch and Cas sat at his feet, right up against his leg. With a blanket over him, Dean spent the entire movie running a finger or two along the back of Castiel's neck and just into his hairline. Cas was asleep in no time, head against his leg. The movie was about two ice skaters. Something romantic. Normally, he would have hated it. But now, it just made him grin stupidly and picture Cas in every scene. 

They all went to bed, Dean and Cas at least able to smile at each other as they drifted off to sleep.

 

 

Day 3. The usual gang went to Charlie's just after 10:00. They had plans to go to the movies to see Jurassic Park. They had been looking forward to seeing it for months. Naomi had dropped the five of them off, Dean swearing Sam was old enough to not be scared.

As they stood in line to get tickets, Gabe kept propping his arm on top of Sam's head. "Some day, I'm gonna stand around with my arm on top of your stupid head."

"Sure," Gabe grinned, winking at him and making Sam growl.

"I can hardly wait to see that," Dean grinned.

"Don't forget, Dean-O, I have blessed him with height. Little midget man WILL grow! And he WILL be taller than you," Gabe grinned, sliding a $20 to the ticket seller. "He might be smarter than me though."

"Easily," Sam smirked, getting a high-five from Cas.

"Not happening," Dean frowned. His little Sammy would always be small. It was just the way things were.

They filed into a row of seats in the packed theater. 

When the lights went down, Dean's grin grew a mile when Cas gently slipped his hand into Dean's. They talked several times during the movie in hushed voices. Not enough to annoy anyone. But, enough to remind each other that the other was there. 

It was a great movie, but holding Cas' hand was all he would ever think of when he heard the music or saw anything related to Jurassic Park.

They left the movies and headed to the snack bar for drinks. As excited as they were about the possibility of bringing dinosaurs to life, Dean was preoccupied with just how cold his hand was without Cas' in it.

The snack bar was busy. Dean handed Sam five dollars. Get me a small chocolate cone. Cas? What do you want?"

"I can-" 

"Nah," Dean shrugged. "I got it. What do you want?" He gave Cas a nervous grin and Cas seemed to catch on that Dean wanted to buy him a snack. Like a date.

Cas blushed slightly, wiping a hand over his mouth to block his ridiculous grin. "Umm...chocolate cone."

"We'll be outside," Dean grinned at Sam. "Two chocolate cones, alright?"

Sam glanced between the two. "Okay."

The pair weaved their way out of the crowded little restaurant and into the warm summer day. 

"I think the outbreak of a couple dinosaurs is worth the risk for bringing them back to life," Dean said, continuing an earlier conversation. 

"Dean, that would upset the entire balance of nature," Cas grinned, shaking his head.

Dean led him behind the snack bar and into the woods a short way. Just enough for a minute of privacy. He leaned against a tree, arms folded in front of him. Cas stood right in front of him with a mischievous grin.

"Let's go fishing in the morning," Dean grinned, reaching forward and taking his hand back.

"I think we should go fishing every day," Cas grinned.

"Oh yeah?" Dean chuckled, leaning forward. "Didn't know you were such a fisherman."

Cas glanced around and then kissed him. It made Dean's body want to explode in the best way possible. 

Cas stepped back. "We should go." His grin was beautiful.

"Yeah," Dean said, breathless. They headed toward the snack bar again, looking like two guys just hanging out. As they came around to corner of the small block of a building, they stopped abruptly.

"Well, well, well," came a smooth voice with a greedy grin.

"Crowley," Dean said nervously.

"Just so happens I got some fantastic pictures today," he said, holding up a camera, then quickly tucking it in his jacket. 

Dean wanted to panic. Pictures! Of him and Cas? Damnit, Crowley! "What do you want Crowley."

"Well, for starters," he grinned, pointing at Meg across the parking lot. "You so much as glare any harder and she goes directly to your parents."

"I don't have parents here, ya dickwad," Dean growled. "And I don't really care."

Ruby joined him, glaring at Cas and Dean.  
"Take this," Crowley said, carefully giving the camera to Ruby.

Ruby could not have known what was on that camera. But she disappeared so quick that Dean realized with a shock that his opportunity was gone. He couldn't tackle a girl in the middle of the crowded parking lot.

"So. How much is this little summer romance worth? I now have pictures to send in the mail. So. Let's discuss fees, shall we?"

Dean was shaking with anger. "I'm going to kill you," he growled.

"What do you want, Crowley?" Cas asked, disgusted but wanting away from the bullies.

"I'll take $100 now and a monthly payment of $50."

"What!" Dean spat.

"Fine," Cas muttered, pulling his wallet out.

"Cas!" Dean said, reaching to stop him.

"It's fine." He handed several bills to Crowley.

"If I don't get a payment by the 1st of each month, I'll be sending photos to all your family members. Capiche?"

"I Capiche." Cas said flatly.

Dean stepped up to Crowley. "I will destroy you, Crowley."

"No," Crowley grinned, "I'm destroying you." He laughed, stepping away from Dean and getting lost in the crowd.

"Fuck!" Dean swore. "What are we gonna do?!"

Cas was scowling and thinking hard. "Follow Ruby? Find that camera. I don't know."

"She could be anywhere!" Dean looked everywhere, the pair coming to the front of the snack bar. "I shouldn't have done that. Shoulda just stayed in the damn store."

"Hey, we'll figure it out," Cas said.

"Cas!" Dean whirled around on him. "I can't afford $20 a month let alone $50!"

"I'll figure it out," Cas said, wanting Dean to relax.

"This is all my fault," he sighed.

"What's your fault?" Charlie asked, handing him a cone.

Sam and Gabe joined them, Sam giving Cas his cone.

"Freakin' Crowley! He got pictures of me and Cas."

"Oh God," Charlie sighed. Gabe looked stricken.

"Pictures of what?" Sam asked.

Dean looked at Sam. "I'll explain everything later. I promise."

Sam scowled but did not ask any more questions.

"He's blackmailing us for $50 a month!" Dean barked.

"Holy shit!" Gabe gasped.

"We gotta think of something," Charlie said. They finished their ice cream quietly and headed back to Charlie's.

They all went inside, but Dean snagged the back of Sam's t-shirt, telling him to stay outside with him.

"I'll be in, in a minute," Sam grinned. He sat on the step to the porch and Dean sat down next to him. 

"So...I gotta tell you something," Dean started.

Sam just waited.

"So...I have a boyfriend." The entire universe came to a standstill. His breath freezing in place and no thought or air moving until his little brother spoke.

"A boyfriend?" Sam snickered.

Dean took in a breath of air. "Yes."

Sam looked at him like a little kid but with a way too smart questioning look on his face. "Huh."

"Huh?" Dean repeated. "That's it?"

Sam continued to look at him curiously. "I've heard of that. Boys that like boys. Right?"

"Yes," Dean nodded.

"Like that movie...Philadelphia."

"Yes," Dean nodded.

"So...did you kiss him?"

Dean blushed. "Yes, Sam. That's what boyfriends do."

"Eww," Sam shook his head, grinning. "Kissing is so gross. Boys or girls whatever. Yuck."

Dean laughed. Sam was only 10. "I need you to know because I might have started some trouble."

"Wait," Sam interrupted. "Who's your boyfriend?"

Dean hesitated but there was no getting out of this. "It's a big secret Sam. Like, really big. The family can't know or I'm pretty sure we wouldn't be allowed to come back here."

Sam nodded. "I can keep secrets, Dean."

"I know," Dean nodded. "I know you can." He stopped pacing in the gravel and sat next to Sam again. "It's Cas. My boyfriend is Cas."

Sam's mouth dropped open. "He's our cousin!"

"No," Dean corrected. "Cas is adopted. And you and I are not Kate's kids, remember? We say we're cousins, but really, it's only through marriage. It doesn't really count."

Sam nodded. "Oh. Yeah. I forgot."

"So, it's a secret because if the aunts and uncles find out, I'm pretty sure they will kick me out."

"Why? That's stupid. You're not cousins."

"Because a lot of people don't like it when two guys are together."

Sam nodded. "Yeah. That's dumb though. Who cares?"

"I don't know, Sam, but for now, this stays our secret. Only you, Gabe and Charlie know."

Sam nodded. "And Crowley?"

Dean winced. "And yeah. Crowley. And Meg and Ruby and God...this is gonna blow."

Sam scrunched his mouth. "Maybe the family won't care that much."

"They are gonna care. Trust me."

Sam nodded. He got a funny look on his face. "Is kissing gross?"

Dean laughed. "I am not talking to you about kissing. You're ten!"

"My friend Brady kissed a girl at school. On the playground," he pleaded.

Dean rolled his eyes. "No, Sam. It's not gross. It's good. Like...the best thing ever. But not until you're at least 13, alright?"

Sam nodded. "I just don't get it."

"Good. Now come on. Let's see what the rest of the gang is doing."

 

They were back to the cabin in time for dinner. They ate and the family actually talked to him about playing football. 

"I used to play," Zachariah said proudly. 

It was moments like that, when Dean glanced around for his dad. A secret smile of 'yeah right!'. It stung like a punch to the gut every time it happened.

He poked Sam with his fork, needing something. Anything to change his thoughts. Sam poked him back and pushed some peas off Dean's plate, just to make a mess.

Dean laughed, cleaning it up. Sam was the best. Movie night again. Dean laid at one end of the couch, Cas at the other. Under the blanket, their feet cuddled together.

 

 

Day 4. This trip was going way too fast. Time just seemed to be disappearing. Dean had been keeping his distance from Cas since the Crowley incident. He didn't need any more problems. And honestly, he was just really, really happy to be around him. As they were heading out the door, Luc came out of his room. 

"Where are you little ones off to?" He asked in his always sarcastic voice.

"We aren't 'little ones'," Gabe snapped. "Where are YOU going?"

"Just hangin' out," he smirked. 

They kept moving, knowing better than letting Luc pull them into some sort of trap.

They headed for Charlie's. Bobby let them take a boat out. They weren't out long. After the fifth time they almost tipped over from carrying-on too much, Dean made an executive decision to turn around before they all ended up falling in. They stayed at Charlie's for awhile, Dean helping him change oil on the big mowers. It was their summer tradition at this point. He told Bobby all about school and his plan to work on cars when he grew up.

"Cars? Didn't know you were inta that," Bobby said, still messing with the mower.

Dean told him all about the Impala. He loved that car. He and Sam had a lot of good memories in it. And it had been one thing he had good memories of his dad in too. Now Kate had it and she complained about how old it was and how big it was all the time.

"She wants a HONDA, Bobby. A Honda."

Bobby shook his head. "She don't realize what she's already got," he said, "that's for damn sure." He looked at Dean. "In a lot of things."

Dean grinned sheepishly. 

"How's she been? And yer mom?"

Bobby was the one and only adult Dean trusted to talk about his shitty parents and not fear them over reacting. "Kate is Kate. We're having a pretty good summer, really. I just always get the feeling that some year she won't want us to come back. Ya know? It's good of her to let us come at all, I guess."

Bobby narrowed his eyes but said nothing.

"And Mom's busy. Works all the time. She had two boyfriends this year but we barely saw them. She tries to keep guys out of the house. We moved. The house I grew up in, we left it. Mom said it was too much. I don't know why. Sam and I mow and shovel and do the chores. But whatever. It's just a place, I guess."

"Where do you live now?"

"An apartment. Sam and I gotta share a room, which sucks. And some of the neighbor kids are...it just makes me nervous for Sam. It's not that nice of a neighborhood. But we can ride our bikes to the store and to school. So...that's good."

Bobby nodded. "She takin' care of you, Dean? Of Sam?"

Dean frowned, wiping his hands on a rag. "Sure, I mean, I'm good, really. And Sam's...good. Yeah."

Bobby nodded. "Ya know, I got a old beater truck out back of the house-"

"The old Ford?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. If you can fix it, you can have it."

"What?" Dean froze, eyes wide and totally in shock.

"I mean, it needs a lot of work. But-"

"Bobby, no, I can't. That's too much, man."

"No," Bobby grinned. "It's mine to do what I want with. And right now the poor thing is just sitting there rusting to death. So, if you can save it, you can have it."

"Holy shit," Dean gaped.

Bobby laughed.

"Really?"

"Yes!" Bobby laughed.

Dean dropped the rag he had been wringing in his hands and hugged Bobby tight. "Thanks, Bobby!"

"Yer welcome, Dean."

They patted backs and Dean had to swipe a tear away as quick as he could.

"Guess you wanna go look at it," Bobby grinned.

"Yeah!"

Dean spent over an hour looking at the old truck with Bobby. Cas sat in the front seat, windows down, making a list of repairs needed to get it running. It was the most fun Dean had had in a long time.

"This!" Dean pointed to the truck, looking at Bobby, "This is awesome. This is playing."

Bobby laughed at that. "Yeah? Good."

Dean looked at Cas sitting in the front seat. He was watching the two of them and had the biggest smile on his face. His blue eyes were just sparkling like they had their lights in them. His hair was wind-blown and messy as always. He was the most beautiful person Dean had ever seen. With a truck, he could go visit Cas. He could drive. He could see it all. Visits, college, life.

"Hey, Uncle Bobby," Sam yelled, coming around the back of the house at a run.

"What?" He barked with no bite.

"Can I see your monster book? Charlie says you have a big, old book of monsters!"

"I do. But you gotta wait until I come in to look at it."

"Okay," Sam nodded. "Did you really give Dean a truck?"

"Sorta," Bobby smirked. "Gave him part of a truck. He's gotta figure out the rest."

"You're so awesome, Uncle Bobby," Sam grinned, running back inside.

"Think we're about done here, Dean."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "I'm just gonna...hang out."

Bobby nodded. He went inside with Sam.

Dean came around to the Driver's side door, leaning on the windowsill. Cas glanced back to see if anyone was around and then kissed Dean.

There was that tongue again, making Dean want to climb through the window to get closer to him. But they stopped. 

"This truck makes you very happy," Cas grinned.

"You in this truck makes me," Dean sighed, "makes me very happy. Like...ugh. Cas, I'm sorry we got caught by Crowley. But...you gotta know that I don't care what happens. Because some day I'm gonna take you away in this truck. We can go to college, hell, we can go anywhere." He swallowed hard. It was hard not to shy away from the intense look in Cas' eyes. It was just as hard to look away. "Cas, I love you."

Cas' face lit up and he laughed slightly, biting it back quickly. "I love you too."

Dean leaned back through the window feeling like he could float away and kissed him. 

Hand in hand they came around the side of the house. 

"Oh, here," Cas grinned.   
Dean took the notepad, opening it. A pencil and a small stem of a flower were inside.

"You said I always give you flowers, so, this year I'm giving you bluebells."

"Bluebells, huh? They're no where near as blue as your eyes." Cas grinned shyly and they dropped hands as the came around the corner to the front.

They came inside of Bobby's seeing Sam and Bobby at the small kitchen table. The others were on the floor of the living room. Bobby was describing some kind of monster and how to kill it.

"What is that?" Dean asked, looking at a picture in the book. There were symbols with squiggly lines too.

"A tulpa," Sam said. "This book is so cool."

Dean joined Charlie and Gabe on the floor, playing cards.

"A dragon!" Sam said. "Dragons are so cool!"

"I have an excellent book about a dragon," Cas said, giving Sam a look.

"That's right!" Sam yelled. "Did you bring it? The Hobbit?"

"I bring it every year, Sam. We just never read it."

"That's a really good book," Bobby grinned.

"I love that book!" Charlie yelled.

"Okay!" Sam laughed. "When we get home we should read some."

 

That night, after a quick hike with the uncles and an even quicker swim, they went up to their room. Adam wanted to be with them too, so Dean made him promise to play quietly. Gabe went out to watch TV, not interested in dragon books.

Cas summarized the beginning they had read years ago. Sam played with Legos with Adam, both listening. Dean stretched out on his bed just enjoying the sound of Cas' voice. He prodded his tiny bluebells. They really should tinkle, looking like bells and all.

When he finished chapter 4, Adam was curled up next to Dean in bed, fast asleep. Sam was in bed too, laying there listening.

"Your turn to read, Dean," Cas grinned, handing the book over to him. 

"No, you keep going," Dean grinned back. At the pout on Cas' face, Dean took the book from him. "Fine."

He read all of chapter five and could not look at Cas without wanting to laugh or grin himself stupid.

When he finished, Gabe was in bed, fast asleep and Sam was out too. 

"Guess we better stop," Dean said, handing the book back.

 

Day 5 began with a booby-trapped bathroom. The first victim- Cas. Dean woke when he heard a thud and a moan from the bathroom. He glanced over, seeing Cas' bed was empty. He got up and came to the doorway. Cas was flat on his back on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Dean crouched down to help him up.

"I slipped on the floor."

Dean could barely keep his foot under him when he stepped inside. There was Vaseline smeared all over the floor in front of the sink.

"Looks like your brother got ya. Or Luc."

Cas groaned, getting to his feet.

"Whatcha guys doin?" Sam asked, hardly awake.

"Luc or Raphael made the floor slippery in there.  
"Oh," Sam nodded, wobbling his way through, going for the toilet. 

Cas got to his feet and rubbed the back of his head. They were both looking at the Vaseline smears on his clothes when the sound of pee hitting the floor made both of them look at Sam. 

"What the hell?" Sam mumbled, pulling his shorts up. 

When Dean looked at the toilet, he could see that there was plastic wrap on it. So when Sam peed, he thought it would go in, but it ran all over the plastic wrap and onto the floor instead.

"Awesome," Dean said flatly.

It took an hour to clean the bathroom floor.

 

Gabe and Dean snuck into Luc's bathroom while Cas and Sam took lookout. Dean removed the shower head. Gabe put five lifesavers into the head. Dean replaced it. Now, either Raphael or Luc would get a very sticky shower. And of course, every pair of socks got a dose of itching powder. And the beds. And their shampoo. Dean rubbed their toothbrushes into his armpit and put them back in the cup. 

"That's gross," Gabe grinned.

"Hey, I coulda done grosser," Dean grinned back. 

They quickly superglued every bathroom product and comb into the medicine cabinet and onto the counter.

They quickly packed up and got out of the room. 

"I hope this is Luc's last year coming along for vacation," Gabe said as they put their supplies away and got ready to go swim. "I can hardly wait until he moves out in three weeks. Even the basement isn't far enough away."

"I bet. You deserve a metal for living with the devil himself for fifteen years and surviving," Dean laughed. 

 

On the bank of Lake Alapmi, they played with the younger kids, played games on their own, and in general, had a great day.

"Let's go find some poison ivy," Cas suggested. "In case we need to up our game since the prank wars are back on."

"Good idea," Dean jumped up off his towel and told Sam to watch Adam. Gabe did not even ask to come along, knowing the two wanted to be alone for a few minutes.

Through the small patch of woods and along a narrow stretch of bank, Cas found what he was looking for. He pulled a sandwich bag from his pocket and he carefully bagged a generous amount of leaves. 

"Wanna go fishing tomorrow?" Cas asked as they headed back slowly.

"Only if you do," Dean grinned. "I don't even like fishing that much. It was just another way to try to make my dad happy. Stupid, huh?"

"No, I understand. I used to do things to make my dad happy."

"Uncle Chuck? Whadya do for him? Bring him whiskey or paper?" Dean laughed. Chuck did two things. Write and drink.

"No. Not him," Cas said quietly.

Dean stopped, turning to Cas. He had never heard him talk about his original parents.

"My...dad," Cas glanced to the side, looking uncomfortable, "he...was not a good person. He wasn't around much because he had a drug problem. When I was five, I helped him steal things from a house."  
His head dropped, looking ashamed.

"He was so happy. He started using me in con schemes." Cas grinned sadly. "I was so proud. And excited because he kept me around. Then we got caught. I was put into foster care after that. I don't even remember my mother. Honestly, it's almost all I remember before Naomi and Chuck."

Dean reached up to rub his thumb across Cas' cheek. "That's awful, Cas."

He shrugged. "Your dad was..."

"Yeah, I know. But he wasn't all bad," Dean grinned.

"Sorry, Dean, I just have no love for someone I have seen hit you."

Dean dropped his hand, nodding and looking embarrassed. "You saw him hit me?"

"Several times." Cas was looking down at his feet. "And that time with the belt."

Dean scoffed. "That was-"

"Nothing." Cas jerked his head up. "It was nothing. I was pretty little when we met, Dean. But one of the things I remembered about you was the look on your face when you got hit. Like there had been plenty of times it had been worse. I recognized the look because I saw it in the mirror enough. My dad..."

"Cas," Dean shook his head, having trouble even listening to such a thought.

Cas looked down again, his mouth pressed in a thin line. "Anyway, the only reason I would go fishing was to be away with you."

Dean remembered how Cas had helped him with his black eye. How that time Dean had hit him in the mouth it had not effected him that much. 

"I didn't mean to bring up bad things," Cas interrupted his thoughts.

"It's okay," Dean shrugged, trying not to think about any of it too much. 

"I'm glad you got outta that Cas. You deserve so much better than that."

Cas grinned. "You do too."

Cas stepped forward, taking Dean's hand. "We should go."

"We should," Dean grinned, pulling him back.

Cas put his arms around Dean's shoulders and kissed him. Dean's hands were on Cas' back. Even the thought of sliding them down his sides made his pulse jump a mile. He opened his mouth, Cas timidly venturing in.

"Wow. Even I never saw this coming."

Cas sprang backwards at the sound of Luc's voice.

There were only a few trees between them. And only a few more between them and the grassy field where most of the family was gathered at the lake.

"Luc!" Dean gasped.

"I was going to get you two back for messing with my bathroom. But this. This is just too...wow." He was grinning as always and looking like he had just won a million dollars. Raphael, standing several feet back, looked murderous.

Luc laughed. "And they thought I was the BAD one. The rebel. No, no. It's you. Little Castiel and his own cousin."

"We-"

"Save it!" Luc laughed. "You might not be cousins by blood, but it doesn't fix the fact that you're both boys."

A fear like nothing Dean had felt before gripped him.

"I'll pay you," Cas blurted out.

Luc laughed. "There isn't enough money in the world to stop me from spreading this like wildfire."

Raphael took off running and yelling. He wanted to chase him down, but Cas was crying. He turned Cas to him, pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, kissing Cas' soft hair. "Don't cry. I love you, Cas."

"My God," Luc scoffed.

"I love you too," Cas whispered back.

Dean firmly but gently pushed Cas back, turning on Luc.  
Luc's grin was so malicious that Dean lost it. He ran forward, punching Luc and taking him down to the ground.

"HELP!" Luc screamed, dodging Dean's punches and catching others with groans.

Cas was next to him suddenly, restraining Luc's arm to stop hitting Dean back. Luc had gotten several hits in, blood from Dean's mouth dripping down onto Luc. Between the two of them, they had him down for the count when hands were grabbing him and pulling him away.  
There was a blur of trees and leaves and shouting and faces. Cas was being hauled out to the grass by Bartholomew and Rachel and Hester. He was yelling and trying to push them off but settled down before Dean had given up. Zachariah and Marv and Raphael had given him a more decent fight than Dean had given any of them credit for. Luc was talking fast with Kate and Zachariah. 

By the end, Dean was belly to the ground just outside the grass. Zachariah and Marv had him pinned down so bad that Dean thought he might die. Through the dirt and blood on his face and in his eyes, he saw Cas be hoisted to his feet. Kate was asking him questions. Along with Rachel and Naomi. The kids were gathering in the grass. Hannah and Anna looked terrified. Gabe was holding Adam, who was crying and Sam... Dean lifted his head, trying to look around. He saw Sam sitting by a tree looking dazed and rubbing his head. He had tried to jump into the fight and got knocked into a tree.

Dean fought anew, thrashing and pushing and the men pressing harder until he stopped moving.

His eyes closed as the aunts and Bartholomew began dragging Cas back to the house. He closed his eyes and just tried to breathe. It was over. It was broken. 

Just like that.

He did not open his eyes again until a police car pulled up to the house. Dean was sitting on the grass at least. There were daisies in front of him, wild and errant in the grass. Just like Cas. Just like him. He thought about the time Cas had given him a daisy here. It wasn't wrong, like Gabe had laughed. It was sweet. And they weren't wrong now, no matter what they said.

A second police car pulled in. Several of the aunts and uncles spoke to the blonde one, while the other came down the hill toward him.

"Are you Dean?" she asked.

"Yeah," he croaked.

"Who hurt you, Dean? Who put these bruises and cuts on you?"

Dean blinked at her. "You have to help Cas. He's in the house. They'll hurt him." Tears ran down his cheeks.

She looked up at Zachariah, who was still gripping Dean's arm so tight it had gone numb long ago. 

"He is exaggerating," Zachariah said, shaking his head. "It took all of us to stop him from hitting my son, Luc. And he was caught in the act of molesting his younger cousin."

The officer's eyes went cold at that. "I see. I'll take him from here, if that's what you want. Are you pressing charges?"

"Oh yes!" Zachariah said hotly. "Lock him up! I always knew he was trouble. Didn't I say that, Marv?"

"You did," Marv nodded with a know-it-all look.

The officer took him firmly by the arm. She opened the door and sat him on the back seat, feet still in the driveway. The blonde cop was still surrounded by aunts and uncles. Luc stood, leaning against the post of the house with the biggest smirk on his face.

"Please," he said around split, swollen lips, "please see if Cas is okay."

The officer gave him a look as if she were trying really hard to figure him out. "Alright. I will."

Sam came barreling over the grass, up the short hill and attempted to dive into the backseat of the police car.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Officer Mills yelled, holding him by the back of the shirt and finally pulling him out. He looked like a wild animal, eyes wide and crazy, hair full of twigs and dirt, trunks dirty, a big scrape on his side.

"Now, who are you?" Mills demanded.

"I'm Sam! That's my brother and I'm staying with him!"

"Honey, you have to stay here." The cop tried to pull him away. Dean could see him plant his feet and the look he gave her was not the face of a ten year old. She frowned more with worry than frustration. "How about you wait here with him while I go check on Cas. Then you will have to say goodbye."

No change to the angry face. She just nodded and walked away.

"Dean," he whipped around, checking Dean's face and head.

"I'ma be arright," Dean muttered.

"What do I do, Dean?"

He looked so lost and Dean felt the look mirrored on his own face. "I don't know Sam. But I am not a bad person. You just remember that. No matter what those bastards say about me or Cas. We're not bad people."

"I know that!" Sam huffed. "I mean...what do I do? Where do I go?"

"Just...stay here, Sam. What are they gonna do? Get rid of me? I don't think it works like that. I'll be back."

Sam hugged him tight, Dean needing every ounce of strength his small frame had.

Dean felt sorry for the cops. They were getting bits of information and stacks of lies all jumbled up and thrown at them. Not that they were asking him anything yet.

As the police car pulled away, Dean watched out the window as long as he could. Sam was a shaking, angry mess. Dean was taken to the park station.

The blonde cop was in the car behind them as they drove out the narrow road and took some turns Dean had never taken. A small reddish building near the Visitor's Center was where they headed. Once inside, the officer led him into a small room with a table and three chairs.

"Have a seat, son," officer Mills said.

He wasn't handcuffed, so he was pretty sure he wasn't under arrest. But he knew this was bad. 

The blonde officer, Hanscum, her name tag read, came in with Dean's duffel bag. 

Dean's mouth dropped open. She had his bag. It was full. Who had packed his bag? Who had gathered his things? Why?

She said something to Mills and then came in the small room. "I brought some of your things. You can at least get a change of clothes."

"Am I going back?" Dean asked, trying not to panic.

"Well, I don't know yet," she smiled at him. "Let's just see what's what first, okay?" Her accent was definitely from Minnesota and she seemed awfully chipper.  
She left and Dean pulled the bag over to himself, unzipping it. He had a t-shirt on but it was stained with blood and grass and dirt.

"Alright," Mills said, coming in the room briskly. "I need that shirt and those swim trunks in the evidence bag."

"Evidence?" Dean asked. "Evidence of what?"

Her face softened at his panic and confusion. "I promise to explain everything once you are changed and sitting down.

"Do I get some privacy? Or is this a strip search?" Dean snapped.

"Bathroom is right there," she pointed.

Dean grabbed his duffel and the plastic bag and headed in to the restroom. In a daze, he pulled the shirt and trunks off, putting them into the white, plastic bag that said 'Evidence' on it.

He pulled a clean t-shirt and a ripped pair of jeans out of the bag and put them on, shoving his socks and sneakers back on. In the bag were mostly dirty clothes from the past few days, a few clean ones left, his Walkman and tapes, his wallet, and The Hobbit. He picked the book up. The little cluster of bluebells that had been tucked above his bed slipped out. Dean scrunched his face hard, fighting the tears that wanted to come. He gently picked up the dying bluebells. His hands shook as he put them back in the book and put it in the bag carefully. He put his wallet in his back pocket and zipped the bag shut.

He tossed the evidence bag to Mills and sat in the small room, duffel at his feet.

"Ok, Dean," Mills started. "Can you please tell me who you are and who the other people staying with you are?"

Dean gave a history of the Milton's- Zachariah, Bartholomew, Marv, Naomi, and Kate. He listed their spouses and their children. He explained that Raphael and Cas were adopted. Then he explained how it came to be that Sam and he were with Kate.

"So, Kate Winchester never adopted you or Sam?" She asked.

"No."

"Now, can you explain to me what happened today?"

Dean took a big, deep breath. "Fine. My cousins have a big pranking war going on. Older kids versus younger kids kinda thing."

"Go on," Mills nodded.

Dean told her about the bathroom this morning and what they did back. Then he explained how the whole family had been out at the lake most of the day. Then he went into his relationship with Cas. How Luc had caught them kissing and how the family had reacted.

"Was this kissing consensual? Did you have his permission?"

"Yeah!" Dean answered.

She looked at her notes and closed her notebook.

"Dean, things were pretty...wound up, when officer Hanscum and I arrived. There was signs of physical altercations, fights, and a lot of very upset people." She paused a long moment. "I understand that you and Castiel are not technically related. And I understand you two are in a consensual relationship." She stopped again, still not looking at him. "Your stepmother, while your guardian on vacation, technically has no guardianship rights over you, now that your father is gone."

Dean nodded. He figured as much.

"She has asked that your mother be contacted and she is to come get you."

"My mom? She lives in Kansas!"

"I am aware. We are trying to get ahold of her, but as of yet have not reached her. Do you know where she could be?"

Dean shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do you have grandparents? Other family?"

Dean shook his head no.

"I'm not allowed to go back? To the cabin?" Dean asked, his voice wobbling. Damnit.

"I'm not sure yet. I'm gonna have to make some calls. Try to get comfortable."

"What about Sam?"

"Your brother is with Kate for now. We'll see. I'll ask," she stood and patted his shoulder. "Try to relax. I'm going back to the cabin to talk to Kate and Castiel. I'll be back."  
She stepped out of the room and closed the door. 

Dean sat there motionless for a long, long time. Finally, he put his duffel on the table and laid his head down on it, scooting up. His whole world was shifting and shattering. He had no idea what to do.

 

Hours later when the door to the little room opened, Mills walked in and sat down.

"Dean," she said.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered.

"Kate left for home about twenty minutes ago. She took Adam and Sam with her." She looked down at her hands and then back up to Dean. "She has requested that you go to your mother's."

Dean sat back. She wasn't even going to talk to him? And he was so not ok with Sam being alone with her. 

"Unfortunately, we haven't been able to get ahold of your mother yet. So, it looks like we need to find you a spot for the night anyway."

A spot? Holy shit.

"We're going to take you to a foster home for the night. Good family. They always handle last minute cases like this well."

He was a case. He was going to foster care. Holy shit.

"Are you ready?" She asked, standing.

He glanced around the little room. No. He wasn't ready to be a foster kid. He wasn't ready to not be with Sam. 

"Officer Mills, did you talk to Cas?" 

She sat back down. "I did. He's very worried about you. He told the same story you did. His mother and Rachel do not agree with Castiel's version of events. I'm not totally sure what all was going on there, Dean, but I must admit, I saw some things I'm not too happy about. None of which was your doing."

Dean nodded. "But is Cas okay?"

She smiled. "He is fine. He had some bruising and some small cuts from fighting with," she opened her notebook, "Luc, Raphael, and Bartholomew. He is fine. One of his other cousins was quite adamant that I pass along to you that they are, 'freaking out'," she air quoted, "and 'worried about you'."

"Gabe?" Dean grinned crooked.

"Yes, that was the name. Gabe. Gabe and Cas."

Dean nodded. Cas was okay. Sam would be okay. He stood up. "I'm ready."  
End Note: So, yeah, that was pretty awful. Hang in there, I promise the shit storm has just begun. But it's amazing what good can come out of so much awful. I promise the good is worth the wading. And waiting. <3


	6. 1994

Chapter 6. 1994

 

It has been a year since Dean left Lake Alapmi in a police car. This is a short chapter.

The line up:  
Dean 15  
Cas 14  
Sam 11

 

Third week of July, 1994

Dean watches as trees pass in a green blur along the roadsides, giving way to buildings as they go further into town. He shifts awkwardly in the tiny car. But Kate loved it. A little, white Honda. Yippy-fucking-skippy. Meanwhile, the single object of his childhood, a symbol of happy times, the car he always hoped he would own someday, was gone. Kate had sold the Impala. There one day, gone the next. No warning, no discussion. Just...gone.  
Kate pulled over to the front of the high school. This year, on the third week of July, Dean was attending summer school. Gym and Geometry. It was hard to believe his 9th grade year had been so good. Football, popularity, mostly all A's. It had been such a good year. Tenth grade had been quite the opposite. He lost his spot on the football team when he and Sam had to move to Minnesota in mid October. 

When Dean had been placed into temporary foster care last summer, he stayed there for three weeks. There was much debate on whether he belonged in Iowa or Kansas. Finally his mom showed. She had been out of town under the assumption that her boys were to be with Kate until the week before school started. She came back when she had heard from the police. 

Mary didn't care that he was gay. She also didn't care that Sam was still in Minnesota. She didn't care about anything. Except her new boyfriend. Sam came back home before school started. They had the pleasure of meeting the new boyfriend on two occasions. He was British and wore a suit and neither of the boys liked him. 

When he showed up, their mom would leave for long weekends. In early October, she left with him and didn't come back. She called after being gone three extra days. Dean ran out of money by the tenth of the month. When she didn't come home, he called Bobby.

Seeing Bobby and Charlie in Kansas was strange. But the fact he was there within a matter of hours, was everything to Dean. He didn't like everything Bobby did, but couldn't blame the guy.

"Sam," Bobby had said, sitting on the couch in their tiny living room, "I can't just take you home with me, son. I could get arrested just takin' two kids outta state with no permission."

Sam finally nodded and Dean kissed any thoughts of freedom aside. 

They went to the police. Bobby took them back to their apartment that night, but Kate was the one found ultimately responsible, since Mary was apparently not coming back.

So, mid October, 1993, Sam and Dean moved in with Kate and Adam. The change in schools was rough.

In all this time, there had been not a single letter from Cas. Kate threatened to take his ass to Juvey if he so much as said his name again. As far as Dean knew, Cas could be pumping out letters like a machine, but Dean was not getting them. He had written Cas two letters. Both were disguised as junk mail or letters from other people. He had no idea if they got through. Maybe Cas was going through hell. He was pretty sure that was the case. It kept him up at night. It was always there in the back of his mind. It distracted him during classes, haunted his dreams, and killed his spirit. For all his worrying, Cas could hate his guts for all he knew. It was killing him. 

And Sam was trying to keep him happy. Trying to act happy. They were both acting. Kate was alright with Sam, but she would barely look at or speak to Dean. 

This act would run for weeks at a time. But when the facade cracked, it tended to go bad in a big way. Dean kept a lid on his growing temper for the most part, but idiots at school were more than he could handle some days. He had been suspended 3 times throughout the year. It was one giant cycle of bullshit. So, here he was in summer school. He kept his head down for the most part. But when he was almost arrested over the summer for underage drinking, Sam got pissed. Their normally unbreakable bond had been shattered in one statement from Sam. "Guess you're gonna be just like Dad, huh? Drink, act like a monster, leave your family."

It had been a gut-wrenching blow to Dean. "Sammy, I'm not going anywhere. I'd never leave you."

"Oh yeah? You won't be with me if you get kicked out of Kate's house."

True.

Damn.

Dean pulled his act together and kept to himself mostly. Things were calmer now. He never wanted to see that look of fear and utter disappointment on Sam's face again. Cas might be untouchable and out there somewhere, but Sam was right here. Right now. And if he didn't get his shit together, he was going to be right. But Dean knew there was an angry monster sitting just inside his chest that was waiting to come out. Maybe he really was just like his dad.

There were no movies, no trips, no time spent in the water. No cousins and no Charlie. There were no flowers and no Cas.

Charlie did try to write to him, but Kate threw them out. She had lost a lot, thanks to Dean. Apparently none of the Milton's went for their yearly vacation to Lake Alapmi. 

Kate was barely on speaking terms with Marv. The rest of them were angry with her decision to even take Dean back under her roof again. According to the Milton's, and Naomi, Dean had instigated everything. There had been talk of a lawsuit and pressing charges that Dean had attempted to molest Cas. It never went anywhere and Sam and Dean suspected that could be because Cas was unwilling to testify or corroborate their accusations. 

At this point, Dean wished summer would just end. School could just start already. Life needed to move on. He needed to make changes. He had to get away from his past. It was the only way to move on. Part of that was letting Cas go. It was only a relationship in thought at this point anyway. It had been a brutal first love. And he wished Cas all the best. But if he kept holding onto the black hole that was their current situation, it would eat Dean up entirely.

He had all Cas' letters in a shoebox. A map of Kansas held the flowers Cas had given him over the years. He had all the stickers. They were scotch taped into a blank journal he had picked up at a flea market. Every heart, every 'I miss you', and every little secret message were there. When Dean missed him so bad it hurt, he found a sticker, wrote a message on it and stuck it on the blank pages. He had pages of stickers. But all this was kept tucked deep into Sam's side of the closet. Sam knew what it was, generally speaking, and kept it hidden away. Someday Dean could burn it. Or throw it away. But not now. Right now, it was his last crutch to a time when he was a much better person. That was summer Dean. And that guy was pretty much dead.

Bobby's words hung in his mind. Find a goal. A goal for yourself. Remember to play.

He was looking for a way to force himself through the motions of both of these. 

Kate pulled away from the curb, leaving without a word. He had none for her either. He headed into the school auditorium to sign in. 

Gym.

Geometry.

Focus, Winchester.


	7. 1996

Chapter 7 1996

Two turbulent years have gone by. At 17, Dean is a scarred and struggling young man. He has endured more than most could take. But hey, he's old enough to drive. Finally.

 

Second week of August, 1996

Dean balled up the silver wrapper to the hotdog he had just eaten. The wind blew lightly, puffing heat against his back as he sat at the picnic table outside the convenience store. His elbows rested on the rough wood of the table and he clenched his fists into his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. He was exhausted and really did not have time to be sitting here. But he had not stopped in hours and his gas tank was empty. His stomach too. 

He could not believe he was here. Here, of all places. Iowa. Lake Alapmi. The laid back air and the smell of trees and the breeze off the lake made his skin crawl. There was too much history here. Too many bad memories tangled up with good ones. His life had been witness to plenty of let-downs, but coming here felt like he was sticking his nose right back into one. But for Sam, he would do anything. Even this. 

He threw the wrapper in a trash can and put his helmet and leather jacket back on. He straddled the motorcycle he had bought two months ago and started it. Besides a duffel bag full of clothes, this was about all he owned.

He wound around the familiar narrow road, the smooth blacktop haunting him. He was glad the engine was too loud to let him think too much and his hands were too busy to fidget. 

It had been three years and two weeks since he had left this place in the back of a police car. That was another lifetime ago. Back when he had a mom. A stepmom. A big family. And a sweet little boyfriend that scarred him for life. Not that any of it was Cas' fault. But he had never heard from the guy again. Last summer, he had attempted to go see him in Illinois. But being on probation made life difficult. His foster parents at the time had called his probation officer immediately when one of the other kids had ratted him out. He had gotten across state line, apparently making things worse for himself. He was good at that. Making things worse.

He and Sam had been separated when Kate finally pulled the plug on housing the brothers. Dean had honestly tried to make things work at Kate's house. It turned out, Kate got a boyfriend. While Adam fit in, there was no room for him or Sam. 

They were together the first two places they stayed. Then Dean had a run-in with another foster kid. It had come at a crucial moment (of course) and screwed his chances of going with Bobby. Sam, on the other hand, got to go. He had been living with Bobby for about a year. Dean had not been allowed to go because of trying to leave the state to see Cas. He had screwed himself royally. Trapped into foster care in Minnesota with no other family around. One place had let him talk to Sam and Bobby and Charlie. The other places had not allowed any long distance phone calls. He had been in some good homes and some crappy ones. None of them felt comfortable. 

Bobby had been frustrated for him and at him off and on since he had last left here. 

Sam had done well with Bobby. For one of the first times in a long time, Dean felt like Sam was really safe without him being there. Without that knowledge, things would have been much more difficult. As it was, Dean tried to fit in wherever he was. It had been patchy and disjointed. School grades were hit and miss. 

Most recently, Bobby had to go to court to keep his rights in Iowa to keep a kid originally from Kansas. Sam had been back to their hometown and it had been a rough trip. Dean had gotten a call from Bobby, asking that he come visit. His foster parents helped him get permission and Dean was gone.

The familiar pattern of trees soon lined the road. Dean pulled over, peering down a narrow lane, seeing the lake through the trees. The cabin that had changed his life was down that path. He could see several cars in the gravel lot next to the house. Some other family. Better luck to them. 

Dean pulled back onto the road, going the short distance to Bobby's. He tried to steel himself for seeing Sam and Bobby. He hadn't seen them since before Christmas. And that had been a brief dinner visit. It killed him that Sam was growing up without him. He pulled into the driveway and shut the bike off, engine ticking as it cooled. He swung his leg over the bike and turned to the small house. It was bittersweet being here. This was everything he wanted, almost. And he was going to have to leave. It was hard to not be jealous of Charlie and Sam. But more than anything, he was forever in debt to Bobby for giving his brother a good home.

The front door slammed open and Sam bounded off the porch in two giant leaps. He ran, not saying anything and slammed into Dean with the tightest hug Dean had ever gotten.

"Sam," Dean's voice shook. He just held onto him tightly, a hand full of long hair and the other holding him so tight. 

Sam was shaking. He was thirteen and a full head shorter than Dean, but so much taller than the last time he had seen him. His hair was shaggy and he looked so tan and healthy. It was more overwhelming than he had imagined to have him back. 

"I've missed you," Sam puffed out.

"Me too."

They just stood there. Dean waited for Sam to pull himself together before even loosening his hold. He wiped tears off his own face and glanced up to the porch. Charlie was waiting on the step, wiping a tear off her cheek already. And there was Bobby, standing by the door waiting.

"Are you okay?" He asked Sam quietly.

"I'm good. Better now." He pulled back, wiping his cheeks off as fast as he could.

"You're gettin' taller!"

"Cha. Barely," Sam grinned, looking away.

"You are!" Dean grinned, looking at Sam fully. "You look so much older!"

"It hasn't been that long," Sam laughed with a hitch.

Dean nodded, slinging an arm around him and heading for the porch.

Charlie waited with antsy patience.

"Charlie," Dean grinned.

She hugged him tight. She was a teenager now. Same age as Dean, 17, but her looks had changed a lot too. 

"You're all grown up," Dean laughed, choking it off.

She leaned back, holding his face in her slim hands, looking him right in the eyes. "I have missed you...too much. And my God, look at you! You're so hot, I'm almost attracted to you!"

"Knock it off!" He laughed. He hugged her again and then made his way up the step and over to Bobby.

"Bobby," Dean offered a hand, not sure where he stood with the man after all these years.

Bobby bear-hugged him. "Damn sure good to finally get you here," Bobby said tightly, holding his voice from shaking with emotion. He rocked Dean back and forth in a hold that Dean could never remember having. It was so caring. So parental. It almost made him weak in the knees and was definitely making it hard for him not to cry.

"I'm so glad I finally got here," Dean said back.

Finally, Bobby let go with a slap to the back and a nod. 

"Rode a motorcycle all the way here from Minnesota?" He asked.

"Yeah. Longest trip I've ever driven. But it went well."

"Come on in, we'll have somethin' ta drink and talk a bit," Bobby said, looking like he definitely had something to talk about. Dean glanced at Sam. He looked really excited. That was a good sign. Maybe Bobby wanted to adopt Sam. That would be a good thing. But the thought sort of made him feel nauseous. How could he and Sam not have the same last name?

The house looked just as he remembered it, with a tad more clutter. Dean spotted Sam's old drawings on the fridge and it made him grin. Who was he to be jealous if Sam wanted to be adopted? Good for him.

They sat at the small kitchen table.

"Man," Bobby said, grinning and pulling out a six pack of Pepsi for them to share. He sat down, looking at each of them in turn. "This just feels better, don't it?"

They all nodded. 

"How's Lake Alapmi?" Dean asked.

Bobby shrugged. "Good. Good. Dean, I don't know how much you know, but I worked really hard to get you here today."

"Oh," Dean said, watching Bobby carefully.

"Sam needs his brother. It just ain't right keeping the two of you separated when I am willing and able to keep you both."

Dean nodded.

"It took some doin', but I have an offer for ya."

Dean took a swallow of his soda and sat it down. This was getting serious fast. "An offer?" Dean asked.

"I have paperwork on my desk. It's all ready to go, except a few signatures. If you would want to,"

Dean's ears started ringing. There were so many things he wanted to hear Bobby say. And there were so many things that terrified him he would say.

Bobby seemed to catch on to Dean's overwhelmed thoughts and waited for Dean to look him in the eye again. 

"If you would want to, you could stay here for your senior year. January you turn 18, so legally you have more control at that point. But you could finish high school here. Graduate."

Dean was shocked. "How?" He stammered weakly.

"Your probation issues would be handled here. Officer Jody Mills is a friend of mine and has offered to handle your check-ins."

"Mills. I remember her," Dean nodded.

"It's up to you, Dean-"

"Is this? Are you for real?" Dean stood up, pacing to the counter and back.

Bobby stood too, looking worried.

"I could stay here?" Dean repeated.

Bobby nodded and grinned. "Yeah."

"Sam too?" Dean asked, afraid if he got something good, he could only have it with a huge sacrifice.

"Of course," Bobby grinned. "Charlie too."

Dean's hands were in his hair and he was trying not to cry or hyperventilate. "Yeah, Bobby. Yeah. I mean...are you sure it's even possible?"

"With a few signatures, it's a done deal. It woulda been a done deal last summer if the state woulda let me. Hell, I even tried talkin' to that Kate. We didn't forget about you, Dean. I've been workin' hard, Jody too, to get you here. I just couldn't get Kate to agree. Or the state. All three states, I might add."

Dean rubbed a nervous hand across his mouth. "I can stay here?" He asked, struggling to grasp it. "Do the Parson's know?" That was his current foster family and they were nice people. "Does my parole officer know? He's a real dick."

"They do. The Parson's seem like good people. Didn't give me any trouble really. They had plenty good to say about you, but they agree you should be with Sam. And family. And believe it or not, Henrickson, your parole officer encouraged the whole move." Dean looked from face to face in disbelief. It was hard to breathe just thinking about how awesome this could be. The negative dominoes started falling, his hopes dropping. He shook his head no, Sam and Bobby frowning slightly.

"What's the catch?" Nothing was this simple. Not for Dean. No way. 

Bobby stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It might sound too easy to you, Dean, but I've been workin' on this since you got hauled outta here."

Dean took a breath, fighting a freakin' sob from escaping.  
"I'm sorry it took so long, Dean," Bobby said quietly, looking near to tears himself.

Dean nodded quickly. "Umm," he said in a shaky voice, "am I going back to Minnesota? I mean, do I have to?"

"Just to get your things, if you want. Otherwise, nope, you start right now."

Dean sucked in a deep breath.

Sam wedged his way between Bobby and Dean. "It's okay, Dean," he said, a worried look on his face.

Dean nodded again. "The court is good with it?" he asked one more time.

Sam hugged him tight again.

"It's all taken care of," Bobby nodded. "Yes. You and Sam can stay here with me until you choose to leave. No one is taking you anywhere again."

"Yeah," Dean laughed, hugging Sam back. He wiped his eyes and laughed. He picked Sam up and swung him in a circle. "I got my baby brother back!"

After a few minutes of celebrating, they all sat down again.   
Dean sighed. "What do I do, Bobby? What..."

"Tomorrow we'll fill out the papers. I'll take them to Jody and...I don't know. Get you signed up for school. How's that sound?"

"Sounds way too good to be true, Bobby, "Dean said frankly.

"Do we need to make a trip to Minnesota?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, I mean, if it's okay. All my clothes are there."

"Okay. Paperwork, Jody, and school tomorrow, Minnesota on Tuesday. Then, I reckon you need a couple days to just marinate fore school starts in 3 weeks."

"Marinate?" Dean laughed. "Yeah. That sounds perfect."

"You're gonna have to bunk with Sam," Bobby said, still watching Dean closely.

"I'll sleep on the friggin' couch. Anywhere. This is...man, this is way more than I even dreamed about today."

"What did you think was going to happen?" Charlie asked.

"I dunno. Thought Sam was gonna get adopted or something."

"No way," Sam grinned. "I mean, not by myself. That would be weird," he mused. "Sam Singer."

Bobby grinned. "If we want to look into that, we can. But either way, you two could keep your last name, if you wanted. No law says you gotta take my name."

"Huh," both brothers said.

 

Bobby made dinner and the three got to know each other again. It had been hard being away from Sam. Charlie too. It wasn't until Dean was pretty sure he was going to get to keep them around that he realized how brutal it had been on him.

"What's this?" Sam asked, touching a scar on Dean's hand.

"I got that in shop, working on a car. Bled all over the place and the shop teacher passed out! It was awesome."

Sam told Dean about his last year of school and all he was looking forward to for the next year. Charlie had definitely seen to it that Sam embraced his nerd tendencies. The kid was a freakin' brainiac.

Charlie told him all about the high school. They skirted around anything too deep. Dean was still reality checking the situation every so often.

"So, what's it like, having a sister?" Dean asked Sam, nudging Charlie's elbow.

"It's awesome," Sam grinned. "She's the best."

"Aw! I feel the love!" Charlie giggled, putting an arm around Dean's shoulder. "I'll have to introduce you to some of my friends. They're a lot like me, so, you'll love them."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "I'll have to take your word for it."

 

Sam had Dean's bed ready and they had prepared for his arrival, switching the single bed that had been Sam's to a new bunk bed. The room was tiny. Barely enough room to change your mind in. But it was the best friggin' room he'd ever had. He slept better that night than he had in a very, very long time.

 

Monday, they went to see Jody Mills. Dean liked her. She was funny and made Bobby laugh. They worked out a check-in schedule and she made it very clear that all he had to do to ruin his situation with Bobby, was to screw up with the law. Dean swore he was there to finish high school. That he had goals. A life to carve out.

Dean, Jody, Bobby and some lady at the courthouse signed the paperwork Bobby had and filed it.

It was a done deal.

They went back to Bobby's to pick up Charlie and head to the high school to get Dean registered. Charlie gave him a tour of the building when the paperwork was done. Then he met with a guidance counselor to schedule. Charlie sat in on that as well. He needed four classes to graduate. The rest were what he chose to fill his day with. He took an art class and a small machinery class. It would be a full, busy year and Dean was glad.

The building was small for a high school. It was a small town and Dean wondered how hard it was going to be to fit in. Or rather, NOT stick out.

"Any other gay kids?" Dean asked, looking at the auditorium.

Charlie shrugged. "There's a few, but slim pickin's. None in your league, that's for sure."

"That's fine. I got enough to focus on. Last thing I need is a relationship."

Charlie stepped out of the auditorium and continued across the hall to the gym, Dean following her. 

Dean looked around the gym. Basic. He'd seen so many over the years. 

"So...whatever happened with Cas?" Charlie asked quietly.

Just hearing his name out loud made Dean feel jittery inside. "No idea. Never heard from him."

"He's been through a lot."

Dean stopped, looking at her. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to know. 

"Yeah, well, I'm sure he's moved on too." It was the most Dean could say about the topic. 

Charlie nodded, stepping out of the gym and heading back to the office where Bobby was waiting.

Dean stopped, unable to stop himself from talking. "Charlie, do you still talk to him?"

"Um...not really. I got a letter after...it happened. Then Gabe started calling me. He and Gabe still keep in touch. So, I've gotten some updates from Gabe." She smiled nervously and Dean frowned.

"Do you know something I need to know, Charlie?"

"Well...Gabe says he wants to come visit. Maybe Cas too. No one else from the family. But I made him promise not to come unless you said it was okay."

Dean waved at Bobby and the three headed outside, not talking about Gabe or Cas any more. 

"Guess you need some school clothes," Bobby said, getting behind the wheel.

"I'll be fine," Dean waved off. "Sammy probably needs more crap than I do."

"Already shopped for him. And Charlie. Yer up, kiddo."

"Yeah, okay," Dean said uncomfortably.

"You get a check once a month for expenses, Dean. Plus, I got a surprise for you when we get home."

"A surprise? I might have a friggin' heart attack if things get any better, Bobby."

"In that case, lets get Sam and all go out for dinner. I'll show ya the surprise later. Least you can die full."

Dean laughed and spent the rest of the trip debating music tastes with Charlie. Ole Bobby was stuck on Willie Nelson. Not quite Dean's thing. But he did have some good songs.

 

Bobby took them to a place at the other end of the lake. It was a bar/restaurant.

It looked like a place Dean could love. There were booths and tables and a large bar. It was early evening and country music was playing softly, but Dean could bet this place got pretty full at night. Historic pictures of Lake Alapmi hung along the walls. 

Bobby led them to a booth and they sat down, pulling menus from the end of the table.

"Hey, Bobby! Did ya get that mower of mine to start yet?"

"It's ready. I just need to drop it off at your place. Ellen, this is Dean, Dean, this is Ellen."

"Well. Bout time. Dean Winchester, the one and only," she said, grinning.

Dean's eyebrows jumped slightly. 

"If I have to hear one more story about the infamous Dean Winchester-" she was grinning at Sam, who covered his eyes with his hands. 

"Is my brother telling stories about me?" Dean laughed.

"All the time," Ellen and Bobby said in stereo.

Dean laughed and Sam went behind his menu to avoid them all.

"Really is good to meet you," Ellen grinned. "Now what kind of drinks do ya want?"

 

An hour later, they left The Roadhouse overly stuffed with the best burgers Dean had ever tasted.

"Can we show him now?" Sam asked Bobby from the back seat of his extended cab truck.

"Yep. Might as well."

They all piled out of the truck. Dean's nerves were picking up at the barely contained excitement on Sam's face.

"Okay," Sam started, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder, much like Bobby would do, "Me and Bobby got something for you. It's kind of a big deal. So...are you ready?"

"I guess," Dean shrugged.

He followed Sam around the back of the house. The last time Dean had been back here, Dean had been having one of the best afternoons of his life. He noticed with a pang of loss that the old, red Ford truck was gone. A rectangle of partially dead grass marked where it had been. Dean still had a soft spot for old, red pick-ups. It was a symbol of freedom to him. His shoulders slumped slightly at the loss of it. Bobby must have had to sell it.  
They made their way to a large garage further back on Bobby's property.

Sam hesitated at a big wooden door, unlatching it and turning to Dean. "Bobby and I...well, I hope you like it."  
He tugged the door, sliding it sideways.

Dean blinked. Was that?

He stepped forward, making sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. It was a black 1967 Chevy Impala. It was dusty and looked like a giant beast and at the same time, so much smaller than he remembered. He walked into the shady garage with its earth floor. 

"It's in bad shape," Sam said quietly, "but...I know you loved this car."

The driver's side door and rear door were heavily dented. There was damage to the rear bumper and tail lights. Two windows were broken. Dean hesitantly ran a hand over the roof.

"Is this OUR car?" Dean asked barely above a whisper.

"Yep," Sam grinned.

Dean pulled the back door open and looked down at the ashtray.

"It's still there," Sam grinned.

Dean huffed a laugh, flipping the lid with a familiar squeak. There he was. The little green army man. Gun still raised.

"Holy shit," Dean whispered.

"I know she's in bad shape, but Bobby, Charlie and I tracked her down and Bobby bought her. That's why he sold the truck. And if it's too much or you don't like it, it was my idea," Sam babbled nervously.

All Dean could do was hug his brother. Kate had sold it and it had killed a piece of Dean's childhood. Sam's too. To have it back seemed so impossible. Mangled as she was.

He stepped back, wiping a hand over his face and pulling Sam to his side. "I don't even know what to say."

"I gotta say, this was all Sam's idea," Bobby grinned. "He really thought you would want to fix her up. She's in worse shape than the truck was...but if you work on her, she'll last a long, long time."

Dean nodded. "How did you find her? And what happened?"

"I tracked it down," Charlie spoke up from where she was leaning on the doorframe. "Computers, Dean. I tracked down two in Minnesota and we went and looked at them.   
Luckily, yours was the cheaper one."

"Yeah, how much do I owe you, Bobby?" Dean asked, leveling him with a look. 

"Don't hairy-eyeball me, boy," Bobby said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I been watchin' and listenin' to you go down the drain since I met ya. You kids deserve a whole lot better in life than what you been given. This is just a little thing, Dean. Hell, it don't even run yet. But hey, it's all yours."

Dean circled around the car, hugging Bobby and Charlie both. "Thank you. Thank you. I just...can't even..."

"I know. It's not even enough, Dean. Not really."

"Yes, it is, Bobby!" Dean stepped back, looking at the car again. "I can't take much more, man. This is a lot of good. And in my experience, when life gets good, it goes just as bad just that quick."

"That's not gonna happen, Dean," Sam said firmly. "We're good here. Just accept it. It'll take awhile, but once you do, life gets a lot more fun."

"When did you get so smart?" Dean laughed, giving him a head noogie. 

"It's all the time he spends with me," Charlie grinned smugly. 

"No doubt," Dean laughed.

 

The next day, Bobby and Dean drove to Minnesota to get Dean's things. Everything fit into two garbage bags and a box. It wasn't much. And it really didn't matter. For the first time since he was a little kid, he felt like he had everything. Or close to it anyway.

They loaded Dean's meager things into the back of Bobby's truck and got back on the road toward Bobby's. Toward another new start. Although, this one felt like it might actually be a solid one. Bobby had done everything to give him a great senior year. That put all the balls in Dean's court. He was the only one able to screw this up for himself. 

That was a daunting thought, considering how good he was at fucking things up for himself.

 

Charlie and Dean went school shopping. He bought a black and silver backpack, packs of pens and pencils, a calculator that looked more like a cash register (upon Charlie's insistence), boots, jeans, socks, and boxers. They hit up three thrift shops for t-shirts and a few things for his room. 

 

On Thursday, Dean took Charlie and Sam out on a boat on the lake. It was a hot, sunny August day. The gnats were thick and annoying, but it was worth the sun and water.

"Look!" Charlie pointed, "There's where the beaver dam was. Remember when we found it? I thought it was the coolest thing ever."

Sam went on to talk about finding other wildlife on their visits.

Dean was lost to a flood of memories. That patch of woods was where Dean saw Cas for the last time. He had been fighting to get away from Bartholomew. They were holding him down. His screams rattled through his mind and he had to look away. But drawn back like a magnet, he watched as the cabin came into view. The little boat drifted by silently as all three looked at the cabin with haunted memories.

Memories of Sam with soggy shoes, playing ball, nature hikes, playing tag, laying in the sun, daisies, honeysuckles, bluebells, and Lily-of-the-Valley. But mostly he remembered blue eyes. Soft touches. Holding hands. First kisses. 

"I don't think..." Dean started with a hitch in his voice. "I don't think I ever said I was sorry about screwing all this up for us."

Sam scoffed. "Dean, it was ruined before we ever got here. That family is messed up. Was already messed up."

"Yeah," Dean nodded, starting to row to pass the cabin more quickly.

"I talked to Gabe last night," Charlie said quietly.

Dean looked over his shoulder at her. Her hair was so red it looked like it was on fire in the sunlight. "He wants to come visit."

Dean looked straight ahead. "Is he even allowed to come here?"

"Dude, Gabe is 18. He's leaving for college next week. His parents don't keep track of him like...well, like other parents do. He wants to come for the weekend."

Dean nodded. "Like tomorrow?"

"Yeah, stay two nights and leave on Sunday."

Dean nodded again. "Yeah. It'd be fun to see him again. Catch up."

He looked over his shoulder again. Charlie was looking sheepish. 

"What, Charlie?"

"He wants to bring Cas."

"Oh shit," Sam muttered.

The blood drained from Dean's head making him feel light headed. He propped the paddles, leaning onto his forearms.

"I can tell him no," Charlie offered.

Yeah. No. He didn't want to see Cas. Damnit. He had 5 whole days of comfortable life. Now this.

"Dean? It was just an idea," Charlie added.

"Whose idea?" Dean asked, turning to Charlie, almost dropping a paddle. "Who invited Cas?" Saying his name out loud felt like he was breaking some kind of secret oath he had to himself. "Charlie!"

She winced slightly. "It was Gabe's idea. And Cas was all for it."

Dean turned back around, looking out over the water. Shit. Things were so up in the air. They had never gotten to end anything properly. They had made childish promises that haunted Dean to this day. Had Cas been waiting for him? Had he moved on? Did he hate him? Maybe he wasn't even gay and he thought the whole thing was just experimenting. Maybe he was coming to yell at him. Maybe he was still madly in love with him. Anything was possible. Or maybe it was a trick from Gabe. Maybe Cas didn't even know he was here.

Shit.

"Does he know I'm here?" Dean asked tightly.

"Yes."

"What does he want? Why would he want to see me?"

"I don't know, Dean. Gabe rarely gets to see him. He said Cas is telling his parents that he's visiting a college in Chicago. They're meeting up and riding here together. Gabe doesn't really get to talk to him much. Honestly, I don't really know much. This was Gabe's idea."

"Yeah, well that makes me nervous," Dean muttered, 

Charlie nodding in agreement.

"You should definitely talk to him, Dean," Sam said, not looking him in the eye. "I think it'll make you feel better. At least you'll know one way or the other what he thinks or if you two are still a thing."

Just hearing the thoughts out loud put Dean in gear to row harder. "Just...shut up about it, Sam."

They put the boat away and Dean spent the rest of the night in the garage, making a list of what he needed to repair on Baby and what he needed to buy. This he could do. This he could fix, given enough time and some money. Tomorrow he would try to get a job. That would help. He needed to be busy. Focus on his goals. School. The car was the most 'playing' he could make time for, other than the occasional video game session with Charlie or Sam. What he could not do was think about what Cas was going to say. Or do. What he was going to tell him. It had been a long time. A lifetime, in some ways. Dean was not the same kid he was back then. Surely Cas had changed too. But how? 

He worked to the wee hours of the morning washing the outside of the car and polishing it. Even the dented parts. He washed the windows, inside and out. Even the broken ones. And then he fell asleep in the back seat. He had slept there several times as a kid. It was much tighter now. But it fit. He felt safe.

 

Dean woke with a stiff neck and slow crawl out of the back door of the Impala. He stretched, feeling his spine pop and shift back to normal. He hadn't really meant to sleep in the car all night. He shut the back door and heard a scuffle from the front seat.

A familiar red flannel and a mop of brown hair. "Sam! What the hell? Did you sleep in the front seat?"

Sam squinted tightly at him. "You never came in."

"Come on, Cojack. Let's go in and get cleaned up."  
Out of old habit, Dean fixed Sam a bowl of cereal. Half asleep, Sam just grinned to himself, taking the bowl and sitting at the table. 

"I can't believe you're here," Sam yawned.

"Me either."

"What are you gonna say to Cas?" Sam blurted, staring into his cereal bowl with concern.

Dean sighed. "I don't know."

"Just, don't be mean, okay?" Sam said, looking up at him.

Dean couldn't even joke back. He had no idea how exactly he felt, let alone what Cas was going to say or do. 

"Eat your cereal," Dean huffed. "I'm gettin' a shower."

 

Dean refused to sit still that day. If he stopped working, he might start thinking. It was grating on his nerves. He busied himself helping Bobby in his garage. 

Around 4 in the afternoon, Dean lifted his head, hearing crunching gravel under car tires.

He stood up from bending over the engine of Bobby's truck, Bobby doing the same. Dean gave him an awkward look. 

"Time to put on your big girl pants and face the music there, son."

Dean tossed the wrench he had into the tool chest and scrubbed a hand through his hair.

He headed out of the garage and along the side of the house. He stopped by the front corner and watched as Charlie and Sam hugged Gabe, who had been driving. Dean held his breath as a familiar tousled head of dark brown hair emerged from the car.

He was tall. He was here.

Cas smiled and looked slightly surprised at the thumping hug he got from Charlie. He nodded and waved at Sam, who was saying hi and how good it was to see him.

"Dean-O!"

Dean was shocked to find that he had left the corner of the house and was standing next to Gabe. He hadn't even meant to come so close.

"Gabe," he muttered, feeling choked up and scared shitless and excited all at once.

"Samsquatch!" Gabe was saying, hugging Sam. "Look at you! You are getting taller!"

Sam hugged him jovially, patting his back. "I'm catchin' up to you!" Sam grinned. The top of his head was already at Gabe's nose.

Dean finally tore his eyes away from the pair and looked at Cas. His eyes were dark blue, not quite the insane blue of his memories. His hair was still messy. But messy in a delicious way. His jeans and t-shirt did not hide his trim build. But there was no look of awe or eagerness on his face. His mouth was set in a straight line and his gaze was cool.

"Hello, Dean."

His voice ran like a tremor through Dean's entire body. Dean had to take a breath and he shuffled his feet slightly, unable to look away. "Hey. Cas." 

There was no hug or handshake between the two. The other three seemed to pick up on the chill between the two and proceeded inside, offering drinks and talking quickly.

"Dean," Gabe said from beside him again, now in the living room and shocking him back to the present again. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah," Dean pulled a hasty grin onto his face. "Yeah. Guess I'm just out of it. It's so weird seeing you both again."

Gabe grinned and hugged Dean, Dean following suit. "It's so good to see you, man." They separated, but Gabe held his gaze with a warm look. "I kept tabs on you. Tried anyway. You're a hard guy to keep up with. I'm really glad you're here with Bobby."

Dean nodded. "Holy shit," he laughed.

"What?" Gabe asked, eyes twinkling a bit.

"You like, turned into a freakin' adult! It's so weird! You're still like 12 in my head!"

"Hello!" Gabe grinned, circling his face with his finger, "still the trickster here."

Dean had to laugh at how much he looked like Luc in that quick moment. "So, how're your douchey brothers?"

Gabe rolled his eyes, joining the other three at the kitchen table. Dean opted to lean against the counter. "They're all drama. Luc's living down south somewhere and still in college. Michael lives in town and is working in our dad's law firm. They're still their horrible selves. When I leave for college next week, I might never go back home."

"I bet you can hardly wait!" Charlie mused, sitting sodas on the table for everyone. "I'm so excited for you. You have to call and tell us what it's like."

"I did get a dorm room in the nicer dorm," Gabe winked at Charlie.

"I know," she trilled.

"Wait," Sam put a hand up, looking between the two. "Did you do that Charlie?"

Charlie snorted a laugh. "Yeah! Gabe's the first one in! I had to get him set up sweet so when I, we, get there, we have awesome rooms too."

"You hacked a college?" Dean asked Charlie.

"Yeah. It was easy-peasy," she waved nonchalantly.

"If you can do something about my bill, that'd be cool too," Gabe grinned.

"Yeah. I'll have to work on that one."

"Man," Gabe sat back, throwing an arm over the back of his chair. "It's so weird being here. Everything looks exactly the same." While Sam, Charlie, and Gabe just looked like three friends glad to see each other, laughing and talking easily, Cas was much more reserved. He fidgeted with the soda can in his hands and kept his eyes low, grinning, but rarely talking.

Bobby came in, getting hugs from both guys and quick catching up ensued.

"What's the plan with you, Gabe?"

"Culinary school at Iowa State University," Gabe grinned wide.

"Huh," Bobby's eyes went to Charlie's. "That why you went to visit Iowa State couple months ago?"

"Yeah," Charlie shrugged. "They have a great computer program. Not the best, but a good one."

"I'm not thrilled that it's the home of the atomic bomb," Cas deadpanned.

"Would ya let that go?" Gabe griped. "They have plenty of other things to be remembered for besides The Manhattan Project."

Cas smirked and Gabe shook his head. They seemed pretty comfortable with each other. Like family.

"That where you're goin' too, Cas?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah," Cas nodded with a small grin. "Probably room with Gabe."

"Culinary arts?" Bobby asked.

"No. Business. I'd like to run my own business. Be my own boss." His eyes barely flicked over to Dean.

Dean was openly watching them. So, the three had spoken enough to keep the idea he had been so excited about a few years ago. It made the divide between the three and himself seem unfathomably wide. They had plans. Careers thought out. Suddenly he felt ten steps behind everyone. He was just glad he knew where he was graduating high school from. He hadn't taken SAT's or anything. And he had no idea what he wanted to do. Or how he would pay for it. He'd most likely just end up working somewhere local. Someone had just said his name and his head snapped up.

"Right, Dean?" Charlie grinned.

"What?" He asked, lost.

She stood up, giving Bobby her seat and standing next to Dean with a hip bump. "I said, we just gotta get you on board. They have pretty much everything you could want. Do you know what you want to do?"

All eyes were on him. He caught Cas' and quickly looked at his shoes. "I don't know. Haven't been able to focus on it too much."

"Where have you been?" Cas asked. Dean lifted his gaze, locking eyes with him.

Dean's eyes narrowed. "Since when?" Dean snapped, "Since we last spoke? Since I was in juvey? Since my mom left us? You'll have to be more specific."

Cas' cold gaze lowered, mouth pressing into that firm line. He looked to Gabe and then back to his hands.

Dean felt like a jerk. "Sorry," he muttered. "I've been in a few different foster homes. Now it looks like I'm staying here."

Charlie slipped an arm around Dean's waist. "I'm so glad you're here," she said quietly. 

He leaned his head down to rest on top of hers. "Me too."

"Let's go to The Roadhouse for dinner," Bobby suggested.  
They loaded into two cars and headed to the restaurant.  
Dean hung back waiting to get into whatever car Cas didn't get in. The vibes he was getting from Cas were mostly awkward avoidance and suppressed hostility. It was a bad mixture and it was going to have to be dealt with. Today. He wasn't sure where the negativity was coming from. He was sure Cas had good reason. Dean felt guilty and wrong for whatever it was that had Cas uptight and angry. Whatever it was, Dean was sure he was to blame.

As they gathered around a big table at The Roadhouse, Dean sat between Bobby and Sam. Cas was catty-corner and looking at the menu with greater interest than necessary. 

Charlie and Gabe talked excitedly about college. What his dorm was like, what he packed, and classes he was taking. 

"So, you wanna run your own restaurant?" Bobby asked.

"Sure. Or head chef anyway," Gabe nodded.

"If ya need any practice, Ellen, here, has been runnin' this place since she was 19," Bobby grinned as Ellen sat drinks on the table. She gave him a wink back.

"Any time," she nodded at Gabe.

"What kind of food, Gabe?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know. Hopefully I'll be good at something and I can hack it."

"You'll be great," Cas grinned, bumping his elbow.   
So he wasn't always stone cold. In fact, Cas seemed fine with everyone except him. Well, that made sense. He was pretty much feeling the same way. 

"And what are you going to do with computer science?" Gabe asked Charlie.

"Rule the world, bitches!"

They all laughed at that.

"I think I'm going to be a lawyer," Sam said, catching Dean's attention.

"A lawyer?" Dean asked. "Dude, that's so much school."

"I know. But I want to make things better for kids in foster care. Ya know? So they don't go through the bullshit you did, Dean."

Dean gave his brother a long look. "You do what you want, Sammy. But do it for you. Not me. Do something you're gonna like ten years from now."

Sam nodded. 

"What are you gonna do with a business degree, Cas?" Charlie asked.

"Anything really. I just want to be my own boss. Not have to answer to anyone. I might minor in accounting. Or botany. I haven't decided yet."

"Botany?" Gabe snickered. "What the hell would you do with that?"

Cas shrugged. "I don't know. Run a research project, a nature preserve or park. I don't know."

"You could run this place," Bobby grinned.

"Lake Alapmi?" Gabe asked. "Who runs a lake?"

"The whole thing is being sold. It was owned by the state for years, then sold to the Crowley family. Now a corporation is looking at buying it out."

"A corporation?" Dean asked. "What does that mean?"

"For me?" Bobby smirked, "most likely a pay cut with a suave smile. Extra rules and regulations. More paperwork. Inspections. And chain restaurants. It's hard to tell. Depends on the corporation."

Cas had a thoughtful scowl, matching Charlie's. 

"I hope it goes well, Bobby." Gabe looked down at his plate.

Cas politely grinned and got up, heading toward the bathroom.

Sam kicked Dean's foot under the table and Dean glared at him. Sam nodded his head toward where Cas had disappeared. 

Dean stared hard at his own basket of burger and fries. He didn't want to deal with Cas. It was hard. And messy. And so freaking confusing. And it had to stop. He shoved away from the table and headed back the narrow hallway. He went into the bathroom, Cas just finishing at the urinal, glancing over his shoulder and- Did he just roll his eyes?

Dean frowned hard, Cas heading to the sink to wash his hands. Cas saw his frown and matched it, turning and crossing his arms over his chest defensively. "What?"

Dean's mouth went to work to say something nasty. But it stopped, words dying on his tongue. "When we get back to Bobby's, can we go talk?"

Cas' face hardened before softening and his hands falling to his sides. "Yeah."

Their eye contact was hit and miss both ways and Dean could feel his resolve cracking already. "Okay," Dean nodded, ducking out the door quickly.

No one asked or even looked at him questioningly when he sat down. Or when Cas sat down either.

Conversation stayed fairly light after that. It was all just painful waiting on Dean's part to get to Cas and figure out why he was so mad.

They headed back to Bobby's, going for a bike ride around the lake.

"I haven't ridden a bike in years," Cas shook his head. "Not since I was here, actually."

"You can ride with me," Dean gave him a cocky grin and pointed to his motorcycle.

"That's yours?" Cas asked. "Of course it is," he muttered to himself, giving it a look of trepidation.

Charlie, Sam and Gabe seemed to disappear on their bicycles. Bobby was no where to be seen. So, there they were. "If you'd rather walk, we can do that."

Cas looked down the lane nervously. "No. The motorcycle will be...interesting."

"Interesting?" Dean scoffed. "Don't strain yourself there, Cas, you might accidentally have some fun."

Cas gave him a side-eye glare and took the helmet Dean handed him.

Dean got on the bike, starting it. He tilted his head, telling Cas to get on. Cas following his directions. He could feel Cas' death-tight grip on his jacket. He went slowly down the gravel lane so he didn't throw stones. Getting onto the blacktop, he went faster, but still at a leisurely pace. He could feel Cas' stiff frame behind him. Dean tried not to tip much as he went around turns, knowing that could be scary for some new riders. Dean went the entire way around the lake, then turned left near Bobby's instead of turning right down his lane. He headed down to Bobby's shed that he worked out of. He pulled in behind it and stopped. He glanced back, Cas taking the cue and getting off. Dean turned the engine off and kicked the kickstand down, getting off.

They both pulled their helmets off. 

Cas looked uncomfortable and sat the helmet on the ground stiffly. Dean put his on the handlebar and stepped toward the path that led to the lake. "Walk with me, Cas?" Dean asked softly.

Cas took a deep breath and followed him cautiously.

They climbed the windy footpath to the circle of trees they had used as a hide-out as kids. 

"This is the tree?" Cas grinned, seemingly forgetting to be tight-lipped.

Dean glanced around. It was the tree he had kissed Cas in. "Um...yeah. It's the one."

"I think we have a lot to talk about, Dean."

Dean nodded. "We do."

Dean sat down on the hill, leading toward the lake. Cas sat next to him, both staring off quietly. Cas was so different. No longer thin with soft edges. He was harder. Fuller. An athlete. There was a heaviness in his eyes that wasn't there before. A firmness that brooked no entry.

"What happened to you?" Cas asked quietly.

Dean pursed his lips. That was a big, long, frustrating question.

"I grew up."

Cas nodded. "Please, Dean. Can you tell me everything?"

Dean glanced at him, his eyes looking so blue, just like they used to.

Dean told him about going into foster care. Trouble he had gotten into. How often he moved around. And that now he was with Bobby.

Cas sat quietly, still looking at the lake.

"Did you ever try to write to me?" Cas asked quietly.

Dean looked at him sharply. "Of course! Are you kidding? I mailed you letters in junk mail envelopes, sent one to Gabe to give to you...I tried, Cas. And then, I had my own shit to deal with." He knew he was being defensive, so he tried to shut himself up. 

Cas glanced at him with a mixture of worry and apprehension. "I tried to write to you too. I got caught."

They sat a long time, listening to the frogs and buzzing insects at the lake edge.

"Cas," Dean said, fighting an uneven waver in his voice, "I'm so sorry. For...getting you in trouble."

Cas laughed a humorless laugh. "Dean," he said. It still made him tingle inside at how low Cas' voice had gotten. "You have nothing to be sorry for." His mouth pressed into a firm line. "I know your mom left you and Kate barely spoke to you. It was humiliating and punishment more than either of us ever deserved." He turned his blue eyes on him. Maybe the coldness Dean thought he had seen was just Cas trying to hold everything in.

"I will never be sorry about you," Cas said firmly. "Never."

"I didn't mean it that way," Dean clarified. "I'm not sorry for you and me, I'm just sorry we got caught and I destroyed the whole Milton family."

"The Milton's were, are, and will be an evil, destructive presence on this planet."

Dean watched Cas' shoulders pull in and look away. 

"What happened to you?" Dean asked.

Cas gave him a side-eyed glance and then looked down at the grass between his feet. "Years of counseling."

"Counseling?" Dean asked nervously. "Are you...okay?"

"I am perfectly fine. I'm gay. My mother feels I'm broken on some fundamental level and is afraid for my soul. Hence years of 'Christian counseling'."

"Oh my God," Dean was truly shocked. "I didn't know people did that. That is so stupid!"

"Of course it is," Cas agreed. "But it took me a long time to figure it out. All I had was a handful of memories. And old letters. I still have those."

Dean was still horrified with Cas' situation, but the thought of him still having his letters made an eruption of warmth spread through his whole body. "You do?"

Cas looked at him again, shyly shrugging one shoulder. "Yes, I do."

"I still have mine," Dean grinned. "And the flowers," he admitted. "Sam kept them safe for me."

Cas' hard eyes finally began to relax.

"Cas," Dean pulled a handful of grass, shredding the narrow shafts, "I...please don't hate me for what happened. I'm so-"

He stopped when Cas' hand gripped Dean's wrist. "I don't hate you, Dean. Never. No."

"Okay," Dean nodded. Cas pulled his hand back.

"Our families behaved abhorrently. They ruined an innocent thing."

Dean nodded. "I uh...I worried about you a lot. Thought about you a lot."

Cas' grin widened. "I often thought of you too. And worried."

"Tried to come see you once," Dean grinned nervously. "Got arrested."

Cas looked surprised. "Is that why you got arrested? I assumed it was drugs or fighting!"

Dean rolled his eyes, tossing the grass in his hand. "No, Cas. I do learn from my mistakes. I'm not a druggie. And I'm not a monster."

"That's not what I meant," Cas shook his head. "Sorry. And...thank you for trying to come see me."

Dean grinned. "I thought I really had a plan that time. I was so freakin' excited."

Cas gave him a dreamy look. "I wish your plan would have worked. It would have- Well, it doesn't matter now. One more year and I'm out."

Dean nodded. 

They watched as the sun started to set. 

"I used to love coming here," Cas whispered. "It was all I could think about." He laughed a little with a far-off look.

"I liked it some years." He gave him a look. "Some years more than others."

Cas dropped a knee, turning toward Dean more. "You were...an amazing first crush."

Dean bit his lip, heat coiling inside him. "You too." Dean dropped the gaze, twisting a weed flower to a pulp in his hands. "I know we made some pretty desperate promises that summer."

Cas nodded, eyes back down.

Dean had no idea where to go from here. But it really did sum up what they would be. He wanted to ask if Cas had kept his promise. Or maybe he didn't, and who could blame him? Dean hadn't. "It's fine if you didn't," he said quietly. "It was crazy of us to think we could keep promises like that."

Cas nodded, looking at Dean with some hesitation. "You as well," he finally answered.

Dean nodded. So...he still didn't know what that meant. Had he dated? Had he fallen in love? Did he have a boyfriend now?

Cas got to his feet, pacing down to the lake, Dean following. It was dusk and the bugs were pretty thick. Cas looked like he was ready to bolt. His hands were jammed down into his pockets and he was looking antsy.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean asked quietly.

Cas did not answer. His head was bent and his shoulders were as still as concrete. 

"I have moved on," Cas answered.

Dean nodded, biting his lip painfully at the shock of just how much that thought hurt.

"I didn't really mean to, it just kinda happened. With a friend."

"It's okay. I did too."

Cas looked at him, his skin grey in the darkening night. "You did?"

"I mean. It didn't last. Nothing now." Dean huffed out a breath. Why did he feel so ashamed for that? He had done nothing wrong.

"So, you don't have a boyfriend?" Cas asked.

"No, man. No plans to either. I just...really need some stability. Me and relationships don't mix well."

Cas was watching him, but he had no idea what exactly he was thinking.

"You?"

Cas cleared his throat. "I never thought I'd date anyone. I wasn't looking. My friend Amelia and I just sorta became a thing."

Amelia? A girl? Now Dean was thrown off. Of course, if his family was pushing him to be straight, maybe he drank the kool-aid and went along with it.

"I know," Cas said quickly, "it's weird. I guess I'm bi. I don't know."

"So," Dean clarified, "you have a girlfriend?"

Cas hesitated but affirmed. "I do."

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming. Gotta admit. Anyway, we better head back. And don't worry, the past is the past. I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable." Dean went back up the hill and through the trees. He could hear Cas behind him, but did not stop to wait. They passed the trees and came over the hill to Bobby's shed, which sat locked up and empty.

Dean got on his bike with a tight smile. He waited for Cas to buckle his helmet and get on. He went straight to Bobby's and dropped Cas off.

"Do me a favor," Dean yelled over the engine running, "Let them know I will be back by midnight. I got some errands to run."

Cas gave him a worried scowl, but nodded.

Dean slowly went down the gravel drive until he hit blacktop and then he took off. He drove away from the lake, taking random back roads and driving just to drive. Cas was over him. Moved on. He had a friggin' girlfriend. What Dean had done was desperate hook-ups in moments of weakness and that had only happened twice. He had never been attracted to someone like he was to Cas. The knowledge that he was alone with his thoughts was overwhelming. Suffocating. He drove faster, taking a corner so sharply that he crossed the center line and had to veer away from an oncoming car. He pulled over just up the road and pulled his helmet off. He slumped over onto his forearms, not knowing what to do. Speeding was only going to get him a ticket or hurt himself or someone else. He fought the familiar calls to become ruthless and self-destructive. He sat up, head tilted back and looking at the stars. It was a big world out there. There had to be more to it than one guy.

He put his helmet on and got back on the road at a sensible speed this time. It took him a while to find his way home to Bobby's. By the time he turned the bike off and took his helmet off, he had a clearer head. 

He could be friends with Cas. It would be fine. Whether or not he would stay with the Scooby gang to go to college was another thing. He might be better off on his own. Either way, he'd make it.

 

"Hey!" He called, heading into Charlie's room. No one else needed to know how ruined he was inside. He could fake his way through until Sunday and then just not think about it anymore.

"There you are!" Charlie grinned, she was sitting on her bed, back against the wall with Gabe next to her. Cas and Sam sat on the floor leaning against the bed. They were all facing her TV and playing a video game.

"Take this!" Sam jumped up, thrusting the controller at Dean. "I gotta pee!"

Dean took the controller, eyes going to the screen and joining the game. "Who am I?" Dean yelled.

"Red!" Gabe and Charlie yelled back.

Dean found himself sitting where Sam had been, next to Cas on the floor. But he kept his mind focused and played long after Sam came back. 

Sleeping arrangements had not been discussed and they all offered ideas.

In the end, Gabe and Cas slept in Dean and Sam's room, Sam slept on the couch. And Dean slept with Charlie.

Dean had laid on her bed before but never slept with her before. They both giggled a little as they settled in under the blankets, facing each other.

"Where'd you go?" Charlie asked in a whisper.

"For a ride."

Her hand crept closer to Dean's nudging it slightly. "You okay?"

Dean took her slim hand in his and just looked at it. It was easier than seeing the sad look on her face. 

"I'll be fine."

"What happened. I'm dying to know. Cas wouldn't say anything. And he looked kinda miserable."

Dean sighed.

"He...we talked. We're good. He...uh...I guess we said our apologies and he said he did try to write to me. Said he never got any of my letters. His mom made him go to some crazy-ass Christian counseling. I think it has messed with his head."

"Wow," Charlie whispered, squeezing his hand tighter. 

"I've heard of parents doing that."

She squeezed his hand again. It was like a push button. Dean stared at their hands, not seeing them at all. "He has a girlfriend."

Charlie pulled back an inch, eyes widening. "What?"

"I know." Something in Dean relaxed and uncoiled. At least he wasn't the only one thrown off by that fact.

"Is it fake? Like, to keep his parents shut up?"

"No. I don't think so. He made it pretty clear that...what were his words? I was a great 'first crush', or some shit like that."

"Oh God," Charlie winced.

"He's gone, Charlie."

Charlie pulled him in tight for a hug. He turned around, letting her hold him tighter. He had always been a cuddler. He loved it when Sam was little and slept with him. He craved touch from anyone. Always sat too close to people and was the first one to hug or wrestle or find excuses to touch people. Charlie was perfect. He didn't have to worry about what she thought about him.

She wrapped around his back, palm on his chest. "I love you, Dean. You're my brother. Blood relations don't matter. You are the Bo to my Duke, the Laverne to my Shirley. The Han to my Luke."

Dean laughed.

"It's true," she slapped his chest, laughing too.

"I know," Dean grinned, kissing her hand.

"You're gonna be okay. You know that, right? I mean, you have me. Sam. Bobby. Baby."

"I know Charlie," Dean sighed. "I'm good. Go to sleep."

She snuggled in tightly to him and they were both out in minutes.

 

Dean woke the next morning with Charlie's tiny frame tucked against him. Some time during the night he had gone from little spoon to big spoon. She wasn't moving and didn't seem to be awake. But he wanted up and she was using his arm as a pillow.

There was a startling knock on the door and Sam stepped in. "Bobby says get up and come down for breakfast."

Charlie startled awake and Dean made his move to get up.

After a brief scuffle over using the bathroom, Dean thumped down the steps, making due with the half bath downstairs. He then came into the bustling kitchen. Bobby was making bacon, eggs, and toast. Dean stepped in to help. "Man the bread, old man," he grinned, "I'll handle the eggs."

"I'll 'old man' your ass, boy," Bobby muttered, gladly stepping over to focus on the toast. 

"Why is everybody up so damn early?" Dean said, over his shoulder at Gabe, Cas, and Sam.

"Cassie couldn't sleep. Kept me up," Gabe complained, "So here we are. Up."

Cas rolled his eyes, not looking at Dean. 

Dean finished the large amount of scrambled eggs, putting them onto whoever's plates that wanted them. He then proceeded to make over-easy eggs for himself, Bobby, and Cas.

So, Cas couldn't sleep. That made Dean feel better. If he was suffering, then Cas could suffer a little too. Girlfriend. What a crock. 

Dean plated two eggs for Bobby, who sat at the table with a plate toppling with toast for everyone.

He quickly fried Cas' and slid them onto his plate. "Thank you," Cas said quietly.

"Anytime," Dean answered loudly, as if he were just anyone. Because, that's what he was supposed to be, right? Just Cas. One of the group. No longer his.  
He finished his eggs and put them on his plate, joining the crowded circle around the table.

"By the way," Bobby said over some conversation. "Dean, you need to find somewhere else to sleep. You can't sleep with Charlie." 

"Why not?" They both asked in confusion.

"Because," Bobby explained shortly, "foster agency gets wind of that and they'll think I'm not providin' a safe home."

"That's ridiculous," Charlie scoffed.

"Alright, Bobby, I will," Dean clarified. "But you do know it's as good as me sleeping with Sam."

"I know, but others don't see it that way," Bobby sighed.

Dean nodded, swallowing his bite. "Yeah, I guess some people don't think being gay is real. It's just a phase."

Cas looked up at him mid chew.

"But it is real. Are you gay Charlie?"

She laughed, "Born that way, baby!"

"Me too," Dean agreed.

"Settle down," Bobby rolled his eyes. "I don't need a rally in my kitchen. I'm just sayin', it could get us in trouble."

"No problem," Dean grinned. Cas was looking at his plate again and had definitely gotten the hint. Dean wasn't buying his hetero act. 

"What are we doing today?" Sam asked.

"The lake!" Gabe said enthusiastically. He poured syrup onto his eggs and licked his thumb off as he sat the bottle down. He realized everyone was watching him.

"Syrup? On eggs?" Charlie asked.

"What? It's good!" Gabe offered her a forkful but Charlie pulled back dramatically. 

"He just likes anything sweet," Sam shook his head. "He always had candy when we were kids, remember?"

That was true. Gabe was the one to go to for a sugar score. 

"The lake sounds fun," Charlie agreed. "Cas?"

"Yes. That would be great." He glanced at Dean, but Dean did not look back. 

This whole situation was going to take some getting used to. But Dean decided he needed to treat Cas like everybody else. He had to just be himself. And no more calling him out in front of everyone. Although Charlie was probably the only other person that picked up on the remark. 

"I gotta go to work," Bobby said, standing. "Dean, you need to check in with Jody before noon."

"Alright," he answered, finishing his toast.

"Stay outta trouble you lot." He gave a wave and left for the day.

They loaded a cooler and collected enough towels for everyone. They changed and were out the door and on the shore of the lake by 11:00. 

It was so hot that the water even felt warm, but still, it was refreshing. 

"We should do lunch," Charlie suggested around 2:00.

"I can bring it back here," Dean offered, "or we can ride bikes over to the snack bar."

They debated, no one caring much either way and opted to all go. They got on bikes, but there weren't enough, since Gabe and Cas didn't have any here. Dean hadn't owned a bike since the one he lost here. "I'll meet ya there," he called, heading for Bobby's and his motorcycle.  
"You wanna ride along, Sam?"

"Yeah!" Sam yelled, offering Cas his bike and sprinting to catch up with Dean.

He took Sam on an extra loop around the lake before coming to the snack bar.

"That was awesome!" He said, hair crazy from the helmet.

"Figured you'd like that," Dean grinned, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "Let's grub."

They joined Charlie, Cas, and Gabe in line. "Well, lookie there," Dean nodded toward the register. "That's Meg and that other guy workin' there is Crowley."

"Oh yeah," Gabe nodded, Cas looking as well.

"I oughta take that friggin' Crowley out back and kick the shit outta him," Dean muttered.

"Why? He never actually did anything to you, did he?" Charlie asked.

"Took $100 from Cas. Threatened to blackmail us. I wonder if he ever did?"

"He tried," Cas said, holding a scowl on the man. "My mother got a letter from him. And a photo."

Dean looked at Cas with a spike of worry. "If Kate did, she never said anything. Musta thrown it away."

"Well, lucky you," Cas said, resentment thick in his tone and eyes cold.

"Hey, it's not my fault your mom is some crazy church nut," Dean snapped.

"Alright," Gabe and Charlie cut in, separating the two. 

"How bout we just get some lunch. Besides Dean, these assholes will be going to school with us," Charlie warned.

"Yay," Dean muttered. "See there Cas, at least you got away. I'm right back in it. Make you feel better?"

Cas shoved Gabe's restraining hand off. "This isn't a competition on who had it worse, Dean."

"Are you sure, Cas?" Dean snapped back. 

"Maybe you and I need to go outside," Cas said tightly, glaring death rays into Dean's face.

"Oh, relax," Dean scoffed. "You had it worse. You win. I mean, you had to have had it worse, they fuckin' broke you, after all."

"Dean!" Charlie punched him in the arm. Sam looked bewildered and Gabe and Cas were both glaring.  
He knew he had gone too far. But that's what he usually did. And honestly, that's how he felt about it.

Cas' glare softened slowly. He said nothing, but there was some admittance in the look. He was losing his grip on the wall he had up and the facade he had carefully put on. Dean saw right through it all. 

"Gabe," Cas said quietly and tightly, "will you get me a drink. I'll go save us a table outside."

"Yeah," Gabe nodded, patting his shoulder.

Only then did their locking glare break. Dean took a deep breath and turned to face forward in line.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gabe growled from behind him.

"Me? Nothing."

"What the hell, Winchester? I figured you two would be glad to see each other after all this time!"

Dean laughed bitterly. "Me too, Gabe. And when the real Cas gets here, let me know. Cause that is not Cas."

"His mom really messed him up," Charlie said quietly.

Dean nodded. "Yep. And he might have them fooled, but not me."

"Well, whatever you think you have figured out," Gabe snapped, "keep it to yourself. You might not care what happens to Cas, but I do."

Dean sighed. "I do care, Gabe. I do."

"Well, well," came a smarmy British accent. "Look who's back."

"Crowley," Dean nodded. "Missed me, didn't ya?"

Crowley raised his eyebrows with some surprise at Dean's forwardness.

"Well, you can stop cryin' at night. I'm staying this time. We can do lunch and stuff." Dean grinned like the pair had been friends for years. Then, to add to it, he threw Crowley a wink.

Crowley blushed profusely and stammered a bit.

"What do you want to eat?" Meg asked drolly.

"Nachos and a soda. And whatever Sam wants. Sam?"

 

Their orders went through without another snarky word. They came outside to the table Cas was sitting at, laughing at how Dean had totally shut Crowley down.  
They passed around orders and ate lunch without another scene like the one in the snack bar.

When their lunches were gone, they rented a paddle boat and sailed around for an hour. Dean and Cas did their best to avoid each other. Dean was pulling it off better than Cas. Cas' anger and hurt were just below the surface, even though he was trying to act like nothing was wrong.

"Back to the lake or video games?" Charlie asked.

Gabe and Cas looked at each other, Gabe shrugging. 

"Oh! We should take them to the tire swing!" Sam burst out.

"Oh yeah!" Charlie nodded. "It's a long ride, but it's totally worth it."

"I can drive," Gabe grinned.

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting, " Charlie laughed.

"Dean and I don't have cars, so I forget people actually have them."

They headed back to Bobby's to get Gabe's car. Gabe and Cas sat up front while Dean, Charlie and Sam squeezed into the small backseat.

"Charlie and I found this place last summer. We spent a day out here by Lake Reknub. It's a smaller lake north of Alapmi."

"And there's a tire swing?" Gabe asked.

"It's so fun!" Charlie challenged. "You have to do it!"

They drove away from the lake along a back road Dean was pretty sure he had been on last night. They turned off, passing a farm and winding back around to a decent size lake. 

"This is great!" Dean said, getting out of the car.

Some big oak trees grew near the shore. Their long branches swayed toward the lake in a permanent windswept reach. Dean could see a thick rope tied around one of the wider limbs. It was higher than Dean had pictured in his head, giving the swing a much longer sweep than he would have thought. The bank was steep, dropping off the side about three feet before reaching the water.

They threw two big blankets in the grass nearby and laid their towels out to dry from earlier.

"How do you get out?" Dean asked, scanning the bank.

"Up there," Sam pointed to a narrow path that looked like you had to climb it rather than walk it.

"How deep is the water here?" Dean asked.

Charlie shrugged. "I haven't found the bottom. I tried before we used the rope last time and couldn't find it."

Dean scowled.

"Quit worrying, grandpa," Gabe laughed. "People have obviously used it for years!"

Dean shrugged. "No diving," he said to Sam.

Sam nodded. 

Sam climbed the tree, grabbing the end of the rope and throwing the attached tire down to Charlie.

"Okay, I'll go first so you can see that it's safe," Charlie said, pulling her shirt and shorts off and kicking her sneakers away.

"You gotta stand here," she called, giving the rope a few practice tugs. Dean noticed the rope looked like it was in pretty good shape, not half rotten like he feared. "Goes best if you run a few steps."

She ran, jumping off the ledge and swung pretty far out, dropping into the lake with a splash. Dean held his breath as bubbles frothed at the surface. Her head popped up with a "Woo-hoo!" And Dean breathed a sigh of relief.

They all took turns swinging out and plunging in. Then they went by two's and pretty soon, the day was gone. They swam out for the millionth time and all laid on the blankets in the sun. Cas was finally loosened up and having fun, still barely talking to Dean. 

Dean flopped down on one of the blankets and put his towel over his head. He was wiped.

 

Someone laid down next to him and Dean slid his arm closer to himself to give them room. He was surprised when he heard Cas talking from beside him. Dean pulled his towel back, squinting up at him with some surprise. He was laughing at something he and Charlie had been saying.

He caught Dean looking at him and sobered slightly. 

"Don't worry, I won't bite," he said, when Dean kept staring.

Dean pulled the towel away, balling it up and turned over to stuff it behind his head like a pillow. He gave Cas an appraising look. "I think you might be a biter."

Cas started to say something and then looked at Dean with some surprise.

"Definitely a scratcher," Dean grinned wide.

Cas' mouth dropped open a little and he could not stop the laugh that rolled out of him. Dean just grinned at the sight. He wasn't all gone. Shy Cas was still the same.

"And I bet you're loud," Cas said, laughing even harder.

Dean started laughing just hearing Cas crack-up so hard. 

They sighed, settling back again and fatigue swarmed Dean. The sun and swimming had that magical effect of wiping you out for lazy summer napping.

Dean woke up to gentle nudging on one arm. He didn't really want to do that, so he rolled over and buried his head under his towel.

"Dean," Cas said, shaking his shoulder again.

"What?" Dean muttered.

"We're leaving. We gotta go back now."

Dean stretched a mile and squinted hard at the bright light.

"We're all packed up."

"Alright!" He moaned around another stretch, finally sitting up, Cas' hand leaving his shoulder.

"Man. I hate napping. I always feel like crap. And then I won't sleep tonight."

"Mmm," Cas nodded, picking up the blanket when Dean stood. He shook it out and folded it, tossing Dean his towel. He grabbed his shoes and went to the car, throwing his stuff in the trunk and closing it. Seeing the front seat was taken by Charlie, Cas got in the back, next to Sam. Dean mentally checked himself to not be a dick and to keep his hands to himself before he squeezed in next to Cas. It was a lot to ask himself. The only thing either of them were wearing was swim trunks, not even shoes. 

They were touching, pressed up against each other from shoulder to foot. Cas tried to slide over toward Sam a bit, but there just wasn't room.

"Sorry," he muttered.

Dean, ignoring the warning in his head, grinned. He raised his arm up, putting it along the back seat to make a bit more room. Yeah, that was why.

"I gotta get gas," Gabe said. Charlie directed him to a gas station a few miles away. Dean was nodding off already. Gabe and his shit little car. Charlie and her freakin' alternative grunge crap.

"Oh no, I promised you I'd take you to that shop we were talking about last night!" Charlie said to Gabe.

"Yeah, I need new wheels bad," Gabe said.

"Are you goin' to a skater shop?" Dean asked.

"Yes, Dean," Charlie said, sticking her tongue out at him. "Deal with it."

"Ugh," Dean dropped his head back. At least Gabe's car had air conditioning.

 

When Dean woke up, he was slightly confused. The car was running and parked, but no one was in it. No one, that was, except himself and Cas. Cas had his t-shirt balled up between his head and Dean's chest. He was curled snugly into Dean's side and Dean's arm was around his upper back. Knowing himself, he had fallen asleep and pulled Cas here. It was frustrating that he was still so smitten with the little punk. Cas, for his part, had gone with it. He made a pillow and stayed when he coulda moved over or even jumped up front or gone into the store.

Dean felt fingers flex and unflex, brushing against skin on his inner thigh. Yeah, that was gonna have to stop. There was bits of grass in the back of Cas' dry and crazy hair. He lifted his hand, pulling them out and then just stealing the moment to feel Cas' hair again. The back door opened, making Dean jump and Cas babble.

"Hey, sunshine!" Dean grinned, nudging Cas further awake. The front doors both opened, Charlie and Gabe getting in.

"Sorry that took so long," Sam smirked, raising his eyebrows at Cas struggling to sit up.

"Sorry," Cas muttered all gravelly to Dean.

"I was asleep until 2 minutes ago. Don't worry about it."

They headed back to Bobby's and Dean had to shake the sleep out of his head. Bobby was there and had chicken started on the grill. Dean made corn on the Cobb and baked beans to go with it.

Gabe had bought a cake at the grocery store.

"Dude," Dean said, looking at Gabe in confusion. "When did we go to the grocery store?"

"After the gas station. But before the record store."

"Shut up," Dean laughed. "I couldn't have slept that much!"

"You two were out," Gabe smiled proudly.

Dean turned, looking at Cas. "How long did you sleep?"

Cas was looking confused as well. "I must have fallen asleep before the grocery store. All I remember is the gas station and leaving somewhere to head home.

"You're just messin' with us," Dean smirked at Gabe.

"Dude," Sam said, holding up a Record-Rama bag. 

Charlie lifted one as well.

"Holy shit!" Dean said.

Cas just squinted and looked like Dean felt. The day had just blinked away.

They ate dinner outside at the picnic table. It was dark by the time they were cleaning up. Gabe had put the cake in the freezer, giving the icing and cake a firmer set. It tasted so good cold on such a hot day.

"Showers and bed, ya idjits," Bobby grinned as he waved and went up the steps.

They played video games, each taking a turn to be upstairs showering.

By 11:30, Charlie and Gabe were asleep on the couch. Sam was getting the last shower. Dean and Cas were playing SuperMario Brothers and kept dying in the damn lava pits.

"Ugh!" Dean yelled as his little Mario died from a stupid lump of lava. Game over.

Sam came down the steps yawning. "These guys have to go to bed. I got the couch."

Dean stood up, tapping Gabe's leg and Charlie's shoulder. They roused enough to make it up the steps. Cas went with them. Dean helped Sam put a sheet on the couch and tossed him a blanket. "Where're you sleeping?" Sam mumbled.

"I don't know," Dean said, glancing around. He wasn't even tired. He definitely should not have taken that second nap. But it had felt sooo good at the time. He turned off the TV and game system. The house was way too quiet. He grabbed a few beers out of the fridge and went out the kitchen door quietly. He'd work on Baby for awhile and sleep in the back seat.

He flipped on the lights, sliding the garage door open just enough that he could fit through it. He sat the beers on the ground, cooler in the dirt than anywhere else. He noticed a small radio hanging from a peg above the rickety work bench. He flipped it on and moved the dial on it until he landed on some sweet 70's rock music. He opened the hood of the car and stood there for several songs, just looking. He grabbed a wrench and began disassembling and cleaning the mixture control valve. When he had reassembled and replaced it, he worked his way to the check valve, doing the same thing. It was tedious and slow, but Dean loved it. He sang along to some songs and just listened to others. As he reattached the check valve, he had a funny sensation from behind him. He turned to look and jumped, hitting his head on the edge of the hood of his car. "Shit! Jesus, Cas! I didn't know you were there!" Dean pressed his hand to the thudding knot on his head, wincing.

"Sorry," Cas said, looking at him in concern. "Dean, I think...yes, you're bleeding."

"Fuck," Dean swore, pulling his hand away and seeing a decent amount of blood on it. 

"I'm so sorry," Cas said, snapping into action, grabbing a role of paper towels. He folded two up, making a neat square and pressed it to the spot. "There, hold that," he said, making another one.

"It's fine," Dean winced.

"You might need stitches," Cas said, taking the paper towel Dean had, soaked in blood and handing him the new one.

"No way," Dean shook his head. "I can't take the chance that they'll pull me outta Bobby's!"

"They wouldn't do that," Cas frowned.

"Familiar with the foster care system, are ya?" Dean snapped, exchanging paper towels with Cas for a clean one again. This one wasn't as bloody.

"Not for awhile now," Cas said, making another square and waiting for Dean to need it.

"Oh yeah. Forgot you were a foster kid when you were little. Sucks, doesn't it?"

Cas shrugged. "They were way more stable than when I was home, so they were usually pretty good. Home was always so...chaotic."

Dean remembered the story about Cas' dad using him to rip people off to earn drug money. No wonder he didn't mind Naomi. She was anything but chaotic.

"What are ya doin' in here?" Dean asked, changing topics and trying to lighten up. 

"I wasn't tired. And I saw you were gone. And-"

Dean handed him a much less bloody paper towel, taking a clean one from Cas.

"I just couldn't sleep."

Dean watched as Cas folded another paper towel methodically.

Dean pressed the square to the throbbing spot on his head. He wanted to ask Cas more questions. Or tear his clothes off and have hot, angry sex right here up against his car. He stopped that train immediately and cleared his throat, like that would clear his mind. He turned, looking back into the engine.

"Need any help?" Cas asked quietly.

"You good with cars?" Dean asked, knowing the answer.

"No. Not at all," Cas admitted.

"Well, you just stand there and look like that and keep handing me stuff." Dean winked at him, mentally he slapped his palm to his forehead.

"Here, hold that," Dean said, handing him his napkin with just a spot of blood on it. Cas took it, throwing it in a barrel with a trash bag in it where the other ones were. Dean began removing the air injection pump. 

"Man, this thing is shot." He pulled the part out, turning it about in his hands. "So corroded. Gonna have to replace this."

"Do you have a new one?" Cas asked, glancing around the work bench. 

"No."

"Is this your car?" Cas asked. "Wait, I remember this car."

"Yeah," Dean mumbled, sitting on a stool to continue digging out the corrosion marring the pump. "It was my dad's. Kate sold it. Charlie, Bobby, and Sam found it. And now," Dean sighed, "it's mine."

He glanced up, surprised at the wide-eyed look of wonder on Cas' face. His eyes were bright blue and Dean realized how they changed shades with his moods. He snapped back to reality, looking back at his pump in his hands.

"What?"

Cas shuffled slightly, continuing his orbit around the car. "What happened here?" Cas asked pointing to where Dean knew the large dents to be.

"T-boned in the snow. And nobody died," Dean answered.   
"Charlie looked it up on the computer. It's bizarre, really, what all she finds on the computer. On the internet."

Cas grinned crookedly.

"What?"

"You and computers. You're going to have to embrace them at some point."

"Bite your tongue," Dean scoffed. "I'll probably never even own one. Why would I when I can just ask Charlie when I need to know some random information?"

Cas laughed, circling around the end, taking in the busted tail lights and damaged bumper. Close to Dean now, he stepped over and looked at the pump.

"I thought you said it needed replaced, not repaired."

Dean looked up at him smirking. "It does." He sat the part down and Cas looked at his head again.   
He offered Dean the clean paper towel he had been holding.

Dean took it, just holding it and looking down at it.

"Dean," Cas said, barely above a whisper. 

Dean's eyes snapped up to his and almost hurt how close he was and how ridiculously good he looked.

"I'm sorry about your head. And...everything. I feel like every time I'm near you I get sucked into a void of dickish behavior."

"I generally have that affect on people," Dean nodded.

"I'm serious, Dean," Cas said, stepping slightly closer.

"Me too," Dean laughed dryly.

Cas stepped back, getting another paper towel, reminding Dean to put the one he was holding on his head. 

"I don't want us to be enemies," Cas said quietly.

"We aren't enemies, Cas."

"I'm pretty sure I have let you down. And I don't know how to fix it." He sat heavily on the only other stool in the garage, which was in front of the workbench. 

Dean dropped his hand. The paper towel coming back almost clean. "Cas, I'm fine. Sorry I acted like a dick. It was ridiculous of me to ever think that you wouldn't move on. It was stupid. I need to let it go. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time I don't get my way." He gave Cas a firm, confident, and totally bullshit smile.

Cas nodded, seeming to buy it.

"Cas," Dean said, getting up and pacing slightly, unable to shut his fucking mouth from running apparently, "I know you're over me, us, whatever. But I'll be honest. I'm having a hard time buying the Amelia thing."

Cas frowned. "What? Why?"

"Because I have known you for a long time. We might not have grown up together," Dean stopped, leaning against the passenger side front door, "but I know you."

He held Cas' gaze as he shifted through several thoughts and finally looked down at the ground. "She's a nice girl."

"A nice girl? Cas! You deserve better than that, man."

Cas looked more troubled, his brow crinkling.

"I mean," Dean shrugged, starting to feel confused by Cas' reaction, "do you two...you know. Make out?"

"Make out?" Cas asked, eyes widening. "Shut up, Dean!"

"What?" Dean laughed, "It's a legit question! So?"

Cas stammered. "She...we have somewhat...she's very religious!"

"Oh, is she now?" Dean nodded, barely containing the enormous grin on his face. "Well, that should be fun. So, is she gonna condemn you when she figures out you're gay?"

"I'm-" Cas sputtered, getting to his feet and throwing Dean glares strong enough to incinerate him where he leaned.

"Cas," Dean said calmer, smile fading. "You said you were gay. Then you tell me you have a girlfriend. Help me understand where you are. Do you love her?"

"No," Cas said easily.

"And you two don't make out?"

Cas sighed, rolling his eyes and blushing. "No."

"It's gross, right?" Dean grinned, looking down at his boots.

"Yes," Cas said weakly, looking off to the side and leaning against the workbench.

"I've done it. It's definitely not for me. I am not bi."

Cas looked at him. "I'm trying to get through school," he said desperately. "If I don't act a certain way, they increase my counseling!"

"Alright," Dean soothed. "I'm surprised your dad is on board with all that."

"My dad? Chuck?" Cas asked.

"Yeah."

"Naomi and Chuck got divorced three months after the whole kissing disaster with you."

"Oh," Dean stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I'm not surprised honestly." It bothered Dean that Cas referred to their family freaking out as 'their kissing disaster'. It shouldn't, but it did. "So, Naomi runs your life."

"For now!" Cas stood up straighter, starting to pace. "When I graduate high school, I'll never go back. I'm paying for college myself! I don't want to owe her anything."

Dean nodded. "And you dump Amelia, when?"

"Ugh!" Cas threw his hands up in frustration. "I don't know! After prom?"

Dean's eyebrows raised and Cas withered at the sight. "I know. It's a dick move."

"Yeah. Definitely," Dean nodded.

"She's everywhere!" Cas yelled, pacing faster. "She knows what I do at school, at swim meets, at church, even with Amelia!" He stopped, turning toward Dean with a panicked look in his eyes. "I can't get away!"

Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth. Wow. Cas was fucked up. Naomi was eating a hole through his mind. And he was the one poking and prodding Cas to explode like this.

"I don't love Amelia," he said brokenly. "I don't want to go back home."

He took the two steps separating them and stopped right in front of Dean. "I want to stay here. With you. And Charlie and Sam. Bobby is so..."

"I know," Dean nodded. "He's pretty freakin' amazing."

"Dean," Cas reached out a shaky hand but let it fall to his side. "I need us to be okay. I need to be okay. But I'm not okay," his voice was fading and Dean recognized the level of panic rising. 

He put a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Cas," he said firmly, "we are okay. We aren't great, but we're okay. And you, you have got to let yourself off the hook here a little bit. You can't fake it 24/7. And if you're going to let loose anywhere, here's the place."

Cas stepped back, Dean's hand dropping back to his side. "I can't."

"If you don't give in and let yourself relax a little bit, you're gonna blow. You need to do something for yourself. Have a little fun."

Cas threw his hands up. "I had fun today!"

"Good," Dean grinned. 

"I could have more fun," Cas said with a somewhat childish excitement. "Right now. Dean, take me for a ride on your motorcycle."

Dean hesitated. If he got caught out after midnight, he could blow his probation. He could end up back in Minnesota. Alone.

"Yeah, sure, Cas," Dean nodded.

They walked silently past the house and Dean went in to leave a note on the kitchen table. 

He handed Cas a helmet and put on his own. "Where we going?"

"I don't care," Cas grinned. "No traffic lights. Just windy roads."

"You got it," Dean said, straddling the bike and starting it. Cas got on and Dean noticed an immediate difference. He was more relaxed, more pliable, and he seemed like this was cementing a goal for himself.

They turned onto the road with black top and Dean sped away. He did the speed limit and took the corners with smooth, deep leans. Cas held on tight. Not to his leather jacket. This time his arms were wrapped tight around him, his helmeted head laying on his back. His hands began roaming about 5 miles down the road. It started with some simple, dismissible thumb sweeps. Then his hands slid down and latched firmly onto Dean's hips.

Shit.

Ten miles down the road and Cas' hand slid down his thigh, way too close to his crotch for driving safety. He could feel him behind him, pressing tightly and Dean pulled the bike over along a corn field, kicking the kickstand down.

"Sorry," Cas said, looking worried and guilty as hell.

"Don't be," Dean growled, pulling his helmet off and taking off Cas' dropping it to the ground.

"I can't," Cas said, panicky.

"Okay," Dean stopped. He waited as Cas took a breath and stepped back toward him. 

"I just...if Naomi knew."

"I'm not gonna tell her," Dean huffed. "And you started this. But we can keep driving," Dean rambled, feeling like he had read Cas wrong or the guy was just backing out.

"Let's go," Dean said, grabbing his helmet.

"No!" Cas said, grabbing the helmet and tossing it aside.

"I can't keep up with you, man," Dean whispered, feeling utterly lost.

"I know. I'm just so scared. But I don't want to be. I want to have fun! I want to just be me!"

"Then be you, Cas!" Dean pleaded.

Cas nodded and put his arms around Dean's neck. "I think about you every single day. I never got over you, Dean. I don't think I ever will."

Dean kissed him. Not hard and crazy like his libido screamed to, but hot and thorough. He backed Cas into the corn and the pair laid down, right in the muck and kissed for forever. Until they were both exhausted and somewhat healed. It was all brand new again. The discoveries were earth shattering and braving new things took more courage than Dean ever imagined. And at the same time, it was all familiar and easy. Like home. Like it was right.

In the wee hours of the morning, Dean was the first person to ever make Cas see stars like never before. And while it might not have been Dean's first time, it was the first time with someone he loved. Their kissing had worked up into a hot frenzy again and Cas ground his hips down onto Dean. He gasped in Dean's mouth and Dean's eyes flew open. Cas was so hungry. "Dean."

Dean grabbed Cas by the shoulders and turned him so they were lying on their sides. "Can I?" He whispered, kissing him again. 

"Yes," Cas nodded, looking down.

Dean undid the button and zipper, pulling his warm, firm dick from his jeans and boxers.

"Ooohhh," Cas moaned when Dean wrapped his hand around it. "Together!" He panted suddenly.

"What?" Dean asked, pulling back enough for Cas to get words out.

"You." Cas' hand ran over the bulge of Dean's dick still in his jeans. His eyes cleared a bit and he raised his eyebrows slightly. Dean nodded. Cas unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans and slowly pulled Dean out of his boxers.

Dean tried not to moan too loudly, but Cas' hand felt like hot velvet when it wrapped around him.  
Cas swung a leg over Dean's hip and put their dicks together and squeezed.

"Oh, shit!" Dean huffed.

Cas spit in his hand and it added a much needed lubricant to the pair of swollen dicks rubbing together.

Dean pushed Cas to his back and kissed him down into the ground. The mud squelched as they moved harder, and both of them came, the heat and cum unlike anything either of them had experienced before. And even though the kisses got sloppy for awhile, they were still delicious. 

 

Muddy and tired, they got back on the bike and headed home. Cas clung to him and leaned like an extension of Dean. 

They got back to the house, walking the bike back the gravel lane. They stopped, looking at the little house.

"Come on, Cas," Dean whispered, pulling his hand and leading him along the side of the house and back to the garage. He turned the lights off and opened the back door.

Cas started to get in. 

"Whoa," Dean grinned. "You're muddy."  
Cas grinned, taking his shirt off, kicking his shoes off and dropping his shorts. "My boxers are clean."

"Sure," Dean grinned. He did the same, kicking his boots off, dropped trou and tossed his shirt to the workbench, all while wearing a smirk.

They crawled into the backseat and shuffled around until they found a comfortable way to lay together. It was pure fucking bliss.

"Dean," Cas whispered. "I need to get through this year. I just need one school year."

Dean kissed the top of his head, holding him tight. "You got it, Cas. I'm not gonna mess anything up for you. But I'm not gonna let you mess yourself up either. I love you. And I protect the people I love."

"I know. I know you would do anything for me. I just thought if we waited until college...things would work out perfect."

"Things are perfect. Right this second. Right here. That's all I need for now. We can do this, Cas."

Cas nodded against his chest. "I love you too, Dean," he whispered. Dean had said it first in the midst of some heavy kissing in the corn field. Cas had pulled back, staring at him. It was like a dam broke. Cas kicked everything up a notch, taking Dean's breath away.

They fell asleep holding each other tight.

 

Dean woke to a clenching fist around his bicep. Cas was shaking slightly and Dean tipped his head up, trying to see him better. "Hey, Cas?"

Cas pulled his head down further, wiping at his face.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, pulling Cas up so they were face to face. He scooted over so they were both laying on their sides. Either Cas was regretting last night, regretting Dean, or freaking out because he was leaving soon.

"Don't," Dean whispered, wiping tears away.

"I don't think I can do it," Cas said, his eyes not meeting Dean's.

"Do what?" Dean was trying to not touch him too much in case he was freaking out about last night.

"Leave. I just can't be the straight, perfect son they want. Would Bobby help me?"

Dean could not help but smile. He kissed his forehead, the tip of his nose, and his mouth. "Yes. Bobby would help you, but he goes by the law. Besides, you can do it, Cas. You can. It's not even a year. It's four marking periods. And you know where I am. I know where you are. Even if we won't be together, I'm not going anywhere without you."

Cas nodded, his body relaxing. They kissed and Dean savored the feel of him in his arms. The way he fit perfectly there. His soft hands and braver kisses.

The sun was up and people would be up inside the house. Dean knew they needed to stop making out and join the others. They would look guilty as hell walking back in the house. Dean grinned just thinking about it.

They sat up, taking a moment for one last cuddle before the world came barging in.

They got out of the car and dressed. Their clothes had mostly dried of mud, giving them a caked-on, dusty look.

Dean could not stop smiling. They headed toward the house, stopping on the porch.

"Just own it, Cas. Don't feel bad for anything. Not here. Not with us."

Cas grinned, letting his nervous tension go and walked through the front door confidently.

"And just where were you?" Gabe snickered.

"We slept in the Impala," Cas smiled.

"Uh-huh," Gabe winked.

Cas shrugged and headed up the steps.

"He seems happy," Charlie grinned, nudging Gabe in the ribs.

"Oh, he's happy," Dean grinned, going up the steps as well. 

Sam gave Dean a bewildered look when they met in the hallway upstairs. "What happened to you?"

"This?" Dean pointed to himself, "This is evidence of a very good night, Sammy."

"You have mud in your hair."

"I know," Dean took a breath remembering how it got there. "It's fucking awesome!"

"If you say so," Sam shook his head passing Dean and going downstairs.

He took a 5 minute shower and came into his room, Cas heading to the shower next. Dean was dressed by the time Cas came in, dressed and ready for the day.

"Sit," Dean grinned, patting the spot beside him on his bed.

Cas sat, watching him.

Dean pulled out a role of duct tape from his trunk at the foot of his bed.

"Why do you have duct tape?" Cas asked with an amused grin.

Dean looked up at him with all seriousness. "Why don't you?"

Cas laughed, but Dean only grinned as he tore a small strip off. He pulled a pen out and sat next to Cas again. He wrote 'I love you' on the sticky side of the tape. Cas smiled. Dean kissed him, kissed the piece of tape and said, "Give me your shoe."

Cas looked confused, but handed Dean his right shoe.  
Dean stuck the duct tape along the side inside the shoe.  
Cas' eyes started to get red around the rims. "My turn."

Cas did the same, sticking it to the inside of Dean's favorite boots.

"I'm gonna miss you. So much." Dean hugged Cas tight and Cas mumbled the same to him.

They sat back, trying to pull themselves together. "You can write to me," Dean said. "I can get mail here."

Cas' face lit up. "I could do that!"

"How could I write back?" Dean asked.

Cas shrugged. "I can't think of any way. If I do, I'll let you know."

"Are you gonna get in trouble about this weekend?" Dean asked, feeling the length of Cas' fingers in his hands.

"No, I don't think so. And if I do, it doesn't matter." Cas grinned. "What are they going to do? Ground me?"

"Make you go to counseling," Dean said low, the thought making him nauseous. 

Cas shrugged with a confident smile. "I'll go. It doesn't matter now. Because I know what's true. That is all I need."

Dean nodded.

"We should go eat," Cas said, putting his shoe back on with a grin and slight flush to his cheeks.

Cas pulled the door open and Dean blocked it, pushing it closed gently, Cas turning to him.

"Amelia," Dean said, looking Cas in the eyes. "She's got to go."

Cas grinned. "Gone. Today. I will take care of it when I get home."

"No other fake girlfriends."

Cas' breath caught as his back touched the door and Dean crowded him against it. He dusted his lips past Cas' mouth and went straight for his neck.

Cas' knees buckled but there was no where for him to fall.  
"Dean," he said weakly.

Dean pulled back, kissing his mouth and stepping back. "Just so we're straight," Dean grinned.

"We are anything but straight," Cas panted, getting his legs under him fully.

Dean laughed. "Fine. So I made myself clear."

"Crystal," Cas blushed. "And you either. No boyfriends. No quick fixes to get what you need."

Dean sighed. "Nobody's got what I need, except you."

Cas nodded with a possessive glint in his eyes that made Dean even happier.

They went down the steps and loaded plates with cooling French toast. Sam was the only one still eating.

Bobby gave the pair of them a warning look. "Sorry, Bobby," they both said, not even needing him to give the lecture.

"Uh-huh," he shook his head and left it at that.

Cas poured a glass of milk and handed the jug to Dean. He poured a glass. He pulled off the giant red circle of a sticker that said PAID on it. He grabbed a pen and wrote MINE on the sticky part and drew a heart. He wanted to stick it on Cas' forehead and mark him for the world to see. But he stuck it on his thigh instead with a smirk.

Cas just chewed and nodded. "I love stickers," he said, still chewing.

"Sooo," Gabe said, walking into the kitchen with Charlie in tow. "Since you two are done being dicks and back to nicey-nicey, I have a little present for you." Gabe tossed a comic book onto the table. Cas picked it up, opening it to a page that had several pictures wedged into it.

"Oh my God!" Cas breathed.

Dean scooted over and saw the small stack of photos. There were five family photos taken on family vacations over the years. A picture of Cas and Dean in bed asleep. Another just waking up. Another where they both look annoyed. And one of Sam shoved in front of them. "How old were we?" Dean laughed. "Eleven? Twelve? Oh my God, Cas, you're so cute!"

"Shut up," Cas bumped his shoulder. There were pictures of all of them at Bobby's house, these were from their last summer there as a family. There were some other pictures that Dean never knew Gabe even took. Dean and Cas splashing in the lake, talking while they lay in the sun, sitting next to each other at dinner, Cas laughing at something Dean was saying. All five of them at Bobby's shack eating popsicles. Dean, Cas, and Sam by the Impala. Dean looking up at his dad as they walked toward the lake. Dean had his fishing pole in one hand and Sammy's hand in the other. It was probably the most touching picture of their dad that they had. He was smiling down at both of them. There were several pictures of Gabe and Cas at family Christmas parties, one from the past Christmas where the pair looked quite dapper in suits. 

"Gabe," Cas said in an awed voice, "thank you!"

"Hey, what's an obnoxious cousin for?"

They went through the pictures again, seeing the looks between the two, evident in almost every photo. Even in the family photos, most years the two of them were together, Sam too.

"You keep these," Cas grinned sadly. "My room gets searched."

Dean stacked the pictures together and handed the comic book back. "Thanks, Gabe. These are awesome."

"No problem," Gabe nodded.

They sat around the living room just talking like they always did. 

"I have my application for Iowa State ready, but I can't apply until October," Charlie said.

"I have mine done too," Cas grinned. "Gabe is going to mail it for me."  
Dean felt lost for a moment. "I haven't even taken my SAT's. I don't know what I want to do. I don't even know if I could get in."

Charlie waved a hand, blowing it off. "You'll take the SAT's in October, have them by Christmas and can apply in January. You have plenty of time, Dean. I'll help you."

"Help me what? What am I gonna do?" Dean wondered out loud.

"Whatever you want," Cas said, taking his hand and holding it. "Mechanics maybe."

"I don't need a four year degree and a ton of debt to be a mechanic."

"Please," Charlie grinned, "I'll have scholarships lining up for you. And a four year degree will get you a better job. You could have your own place even."

"I like working on cars, but I don't know if I could do it for a living." Dean sighed. "I guess I'll figure it out."

"If you don't want to go to college, Dean, maybe you can get an apartment nearby."

Dean nodded. "I'll figure something out. I promise." He put his arm around Cas and Sam gave them an impish grin.

"I take it you two are back together."

"Such a genius, Sam," Dean sighed.

"God! A year!" Gabe stood from the couch and paced the living room. "I wish you were all coming now!"

"We need you to scope the place out and learn the ropes," Charlie winked. "I promise I can handle the housing assignments."

"My roommate sounds alright," Gabe said, sitting back down. "He's British and sounds like a lot of fun. Balthazar something or other. We are already planning a few choice parties." Gabe wiggled his eyebrows and winked. "And I already warned him I might have to replace him next year with you, Cas. But now it seems you might have another roommate in mind."

Cas grinned. "We'll have to see."

"What's to see?" Dean asked him. "I'm in."

"Pretty big commitment there, Dean," Gabe blew a whistle low and slow to signify the seriousness. "That's like moving in together. It's damn near like getting married."

"Whoa!" Charlie yelled. "No way! They can move out if they want. It's not that bad guys."

Dean shrugged. "I'm good with it. If Cas can stand me by next summer, put me with him."

Cas grinned and blushed. "I think it will be absolutely amazing. I can't wait. I can have you all to myself!"

"Eww!" Sam scoffed, throwing a pillow at Cas. "Quit drooling all over my brother!"

They all laughed but Dean was so far gone he was ten, twenty years down the road. Married. Yeah. It happened. People married their childhood sweethearts. If they could just make it through this year. They could make it through anything. One last stupid year of separation.

They said good-bye and it was harder than ever to watch the pair leave. Dean was excited for Gabe. He was gonna be awesome. It would be so hard to go see Cas or to not write to him. But he would do it.

Cas still had a PAID sticker on his pants. It made Dean grin every time he saw it. 

They kept things pretty clean in front of their friends, but Cas held onto Dean a long time before he could get into the car. 

"I'm gonna miss you!" Cas huffed, trying not to cry.

"You're gonna write to me. And I know I can't mail them back, but I'm gonna answer every letter. I'll save 'em."

"I love you, Dean Winchester. Forever." 

Dean frowned, holding back tears of his own. He touched his forehead to Cas', holding his face in his hands. "I hate that I can't write back to you. I want you to know that every sticker you ever see, written on the back, it says,"I love you"."

"I love you too," Cas sniffled and Dean pulled away, kissing him one last time and steering him into the passenger seat of Gabe's car.

"See ya next year, bitches!" Gabe yelled as he backed up and drove up the lane.

They all waved until the car was gone. 

"I know a year seems like a long time," Sam said quietly. "But it might be the last year I get with you."

Dean, already damn-near to tears, turned on his brother with a pleading look. "Sam."

Sam shrugged with that damn pull to one corner of his mouth and those puppy-dog eyes. He might as well be 4 years old again.

Dean broke out into a grin. "This year is gonna be the year of Sam! We're gonna do brother shit! I can give you dating advice! I can embarrass you in front of all your girlfriends and friends!"

"Oh God," Sam groaned, turning away.

"It's gonna be friggin' awesome!" Dean side hugged him and Sam had to laugh. "My baby brother doesn't want me to leave, Charlie!"

"I see that!" She grinned, following them in.

"No," Sam interrupted, "Let me clarify, so  
Dean's head doesn't swell ten more sizes. You will both be leaving and...it's gonna be so weird being the only kid around."

"I could go rustle up some needy foster kids for you and Bobby to keep you busy," Dean smirked.

"You're such a jerk," Sam laughed.

"I know, bitch." Dean was more glad than he could say, that he had Sam with him for the whole year coming up. The last few years had really sucked. It would be a long wait, but Dean welcomed the normalcy of living here with Bobby, Charlie, and Sam. It was so relieving to know he had a family.

An hour later, Dean and Charlie rode the motorcycle half an hour away to where Charlie's mom was still in a coma.

"Bobby usually comes and says hi. Then he waits in the waiting room," Charlie explained nervously as they signed into the nursing home. 

"Is that what you want me to do?" Dean asked, staying close to her in the strange surroundings. There were weird smells and beeps and old people every where. It was a bit unnerving.

"You can stay with me the whole time," she grinned.  
"But you don't have to."

Charlie led them to her mother's room, which she shared with another woman who did not seem to stir much.   
Charlie pulled up a wide chair that the pair of them shared.

"Mom, this is Dean. I know I've told you plenty about him. And here he is."

"Hi, Mrs. Bradbury," Dean said nervously.

"He's a dork and I love him," Charlie grinned.

"Your daughter is a way bigger dork than I am. And I love   
her too. But don't get excited. We're not getting married."

Charlie laughed. "No, not likely."

Dean sat back and daydreamed while Charlie prattled on and on about Gabe and Cas' visit. After about half an hour, Charlie stood to go.

"You ready?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Yep." Charlie nodded vigorously.

"Bye, Mrs. Bradbury. See you next week," Dean said, waving and stepping out in the hall so Charlie could say goodbye with some privacy. 

She came out of the room a little teary-eyed and Dean took her by the hand, walking out.

"We should do this every Sunday," Dean suggested.

"Really?" Charlie asked. "It's not very fun."

"You had a good mom, Charlie. I remember her. And yeah, it might not be what the rest of our classmates are doing with their Sundays, but fuck them. We do shit our way, Bradbury. And if that means coming to visit your mom, that's what we do."

She nodded, moved but not making a big deal out of it. They both put their helmets on and straddled the bike.

"We should read her a book or something."

"I know just the one!" Charlie said excitedly. "The Hobbit! Have you read it?"

"Parts," Dean laughed.

"Parts? Oh we are definitely reading it. It was my mom's favorite book!"

"Sounds like a plan, Red. Let's go home."


	8. 1997

Chapter 8. 1997

It's been almost a year. Did Cas write? Did Dean stay out of trouble? Is Dean going to make it to college? Let's see!

The line up!  
Gabe 19  
Dean 18  
Charlie 18  
Cas 17  
Sam 14

 

Dean turned the station on the radio. "There will be nothing but rock played in this vehicle, Sam. No douchey *NSYNC or other boy-band trash. No Oasis or whatever that other garbage is you listen to."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Got it."

Dean turned the volume down, running his hands over the steering wheel. "I'm gonna miss you, Sammy."

Sam nodded. "I'm gonna miss you too. But not like when you were missing. Nothing will be that bad."

Dean twisted his mouth at the painful memory. When Dean was bouncing around foster care, there were months that Sam had no idea where Dean was. Even what state he was in. Dean would find him and call and Sam would deflate like a rag doll. It was frustrating for both of them. 

"I'll call. I promise," Dean said, ruffling Sam's hair and dodging the ensuing slaps Sam returned. 

"You better, jerk."

"I said I will, bitch!"

The song quieted and another started. It reminded Dean of their first car trip to meet Kate. Their dad had taken them to Kmart and let them each pick a toy for the trip. Sam got a basketball and Dean got a GI Joe truck. They had also begged and gotten two bags of army men, a bag of chips and sodas. It was the coolest trip ever, he had thought. Their dad was in the best mood he had been in for a long time. He was happy. He was fun. And Dean took care of Sam to keep it that way.

"It sucks that I have to wait four years. You'll be done by then. I guess...besides summer breaks, I won't live with you ever again." Sam smiled sadly. "It's so weird to think about."

Dean nodded. "I just hope I'm doing the right thing. I could stay here. It would be so much cheaper."

"No way!" Sam snapped. "We have been over this a million times, Dean. You're going. You are gonna get a good job and have a good life. Besides, waiting four years for Cas to get through college without you is out of the question."

"I know," Dean groaned. "It's just hard. I want to be two places at the same time."

"Hey, I'm good. I got Bobby. I got a girlfriend. School is awesome. I'm good, Dean."

Dean watched him carefully. He wasn't lying. Sam was good. And it had been a good year. The best year yet. Bobby was too good to be true. He was honest and burly, like their dad, but gave great advice. More than anything, it was obvious that he loved them. He loved Charlie. He loved Sam. And even Dean could not deny that the ole bugger loved him too. 

Dean had gotten in trouble a few times. Small things. Detention for incomplete homework. One day in-school suspension for an 'altercation' with Crowley. Nothing too big. But Bobby was no push over. More than that though, Dean did not want to disappoint him. Not out of fear that Bobby would disown him or hit him. That was his relationship with his father. He just wanted to make Bobby proud. He wanted to build a life that Bobby could be proud of. A life where they were a family. Life had never seemed so promising.

The garage door slid open and Bobby came through, smiling at them. "What you two idjits brewing in there?"

"Just...giving Sam the lecture on taking care of my baby while I'm gone," Dean grinned, turning the engine off, the tape deck stopping.

"He don't know we're gonna strip her fer parts and pawn her off piece by piece?" Bobby loudly whispered to Sam.

"Uh!" Dean clenched a hand to his heart and acted like he was dying. "Baby, they don't mean it!" He petted the dashboard.

Bobby and Sam laughed. Sam got out of the Impala and shut the creaky door. Dean did as well. The auxiliary engine was working, but there was much more to be done before she was road ready. Dean was hoping to earn some extra money during school to buy the rest of the major parts he needed. 

"Ready for dinner? I made chili."

"Yes!" The brothers answered. Dean switched off the lights and slid the door shut behind them. 

They ate dinner together, talking excitedly of all they had to do tonight. Dean and Charlie were both packed, boxes and bags stacked in their rooms, the hallway and by the front door. Tomorrow was the big day. Dean still had a load of laundry in the dryer to fold and pack. Charlie had to disassemble her computer and was waiting until the last possible minute to do so.

The phone rang and Dean shoved back from the table to stretch over to the wall and snag the phone off its cradle.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas!" Dean choked down the rest of his bite and stood up to better hear. "How are you? Where are you?" He had not heard Cas' voice for so long that it damn near brought tears to his eyes and made his whole world tilt slightly off kilter. That gravelly voice...

"I'm on my way to your place. I pretty much lost everything, Dean. Naomi flipped out worse than I thought. Things have been calm for so long and...I just thought she might be a little more accepting."

Dean sat on the counter, leaning against the fridge. "So, you told her about Iowa State?"

"No. I just told her that I was not going to Northwest, which is where she thought I was going."

"So, she has no idea where you will be?"

"None."

"Wow. Sorry, man."

Cas sighed. "I knew it could go this way. I had a back-up plan, just in case."

"What kind of back-up plan?" Dean grinned. "I hope part of it is me."

The small, gravelly laugh gave Dean goosebumps and he remembered belatedly that everyone was watching him.

"I kept a bag of things at a friend's house."

"They kicked you out?"

"Yes. Effective immediately. Lost my car. And now I have no insurance...which, I don't know, I'll be fine, I'm sure. So, my friend Ishim is coming to get me. He has my emergency bag."

"Want me to come get you?" Dean asked, getting to his feet.

"No, Dean, I can get a bus ticket."

"No way! I'll come pick you up. I can be there by morning. Give me the address."

"Dean."

"If I told you Bobby just kicked me out and you had a car, would you come get me?"

"If Bobby kicked you out I would think you were possessed or something."

"Castiel Novak," Dean growled.

Cas laughed again. "Alright!"

Dean wrote down the address on the notepad Sam had just made in wood shop last year. He stuck the paper in his pocket.

"I can't wait to see you, Dean," Cas said, sounding nervous or excited.

"I can't wait either. And I'm not waiting. I'm leaving now! I love you. I'll see you in, like, seven hours or so."

"I love you, Dean. Thank you."

Dean hung up the phone and turned around. The table was being hastily cleared.

Bobby was giving orders. "Charlie, you and Sam stay here. I don't need all of ya up all night ridin' along and then driving the next day to school. Sam, finish Dean's laundry and pack it for him."

"Yes, sir," Sam grinned. "Tell Cas I said hi!"

Dean's mouth was still hanging open. "I was gonna take my bike."

Bobby rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Yer not driving 7 hours on that bike, picking up Cas, and his stuff, and driving back another 7 hours."

"But I-" Dean stammered.

"I'll drive the truck. We can be back here by afternoon tomorrow. That's when Gabe gets here, right?"

"Yep," Charlie grinned.

"I'm drivin. Yer sleepin'. You got enough drivin' to do tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, worried about Bobby driving all night.

"That's the plan. Now, go pee. Cause I ain't stoppin' much."

Dean hugged Bobby tight and ran up the steps. He could not believe he would have Cas in his arms in 7 hours. 6 if Bobby was ready to tear up asphalt, like Dean suspected.

The phone rang again. And Dean ignored it, peed and ran down the steps to leave.

"That was Cas," Charlie said, grabbing Dean. "He got his stuff from his friend, but he can't stay there. His mom already called the other kids mom. Anyway, he'll either be at the bus station on Main and Gamble or he'll be at the Biggerson's.

"Got it. If we can't find him, I'll call back here."

She nodded. "Go get our boy."

Dean hugged her quick and ran out the door to jump in the truck.

Bobby demanded that if Dean was going to ride along (because he was perfectly capable of handling this on his own) that Dean had to sleep until they reached Pontiac, Illinois. 

Dean did his best, stretching out on the back seat and covering with a blanket. He was pretty sure he nodded off maybe twice for a grand total of an hour's worth of sleep.

Bobby parked the truck at the bus station. They got out and started looking for Cas. They found him, standing outside under the overhang by the front door. He had two duffel bags at his feet and was staring into the night blankly.

Dean felt like the world stopped for a moment. Everything just stopped. Cas looked lost. And small. And so alone.

"I'll meet you at the truck," Bobby said, pulling Dean out of his musing.

"Yeah," Dean breathed, feeling the pat on his shoulder as Bobby walked back the way they came.

Dean followed the sidewalk and knew the second Cas saw him coming. His entire face lit up, his shoulders relaxed, and he put a hand over his mouth, tearing up instantly.

Dean ran the rest of the short distance, scooping Cas up and hugging him tight.

"Oh my God," they both breathed, kissing each other and hugging again.

"Dean," Cas said in a shaky voice. "I was scared I wasn't going to make it. That this wouldn't actually ever happen!"

Dean peeled Cas back an inch and held his face in his hands. "I got you, Cas. I got you. Forever." He kissed him hard and held him tight. 

When their tears turned to laughter, they each picked up a duffel bag and walked hand in hand back to Bobby's truck.

"Cas," Bobby said, hugging the boy tightly. "Let's get some breakfast. We need to talk."

Dean and Cas exchanged a nervous look. Dean took Cas' hand firmly and they got in the back seat.

Bobby drove a few miles down the road and pulled into a fast food place that was open at 2:30 in the morning. They got some food and sat at a booth.

"What did you want to talk about, Bobby?" Dean asked. He was really nervous about what he was going to say. Dean loved Bobby. Hated to disappoint the man. But Sam was safe. And if Bobby wanted to take Cas back home, Dean would take him and run away. He was never letting Cas go. Never. Not even for a few days. He had the very strong urge that if Cas were to go back, it would be the last he saw of him for a long time. And that just wasn't okay. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Bobby sat his drink down and looked at both boys seriously. "Cas. What happened?"

Cas rehashed the tale in more detail than he had given Dean. He had told Naomi that was not going to Northwestern University. That had been the plan. The fake plan that he ran with all school year to keep her shut up. Meanwhile, he had a full ride to Iowa Sate. And that was the real plan.

"She asked what else I had been lying about," Cas said quietly. "I told her that I was gay. That I had a boyfriend for quite some time. That I was leaving for college and not coming back."

They all sat quietly a moment.

"I grabbed a few things and put them in a bag, but she took some of them. She told me to get out. Don't ever come back."

Dean put his arm around him and kissed his temple. "I'm so sorry, Cas."

Cas shrugged, but he looked hurt.

"Now, I gotta be the bad guy. How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"That's not legally an adult."

"I have an appointment on September 23rd at the circuit court to attend my preliminary meeting."

"Whoa," Bobby held up a hand. "Preliminary meeting for what?"

"Oh, I filed for emancipation. I have all the paperwork filled out and turned in. I did the petition, affidavit, a copy of my transcripts, bank statement, and work stubs."

Dean's eyebrows couldn't possibly go any higher. And Bobby was grinning. "Finally, a kid that does all the hard stuff for me."

Cas grinned nervously. "The only thing I don't have is a copy of my college information because Gabriel has it all. And proof of permanent address."

"Who helped you?" Dean asked, thinking of Cas doing all this leg work on his own, wanting to be away from his house bad enough to warrant the action.

"My guidance counselor. She has been a lot of help. And I timed it for just this possibility. Had Naomi been okay with my choices, I would have canceled the whole thing. As of now, it will be my only way to move on."

"You think she will fight it?" Bobby asked.

"I have no idea. She was so angry about how long I had been lying to her, that she would not contest it right now. By mid September, she might change her mind and still want to try to 'fix me'."

"I'm so proud of you," Dean grinned, impressed with Cas' spunk.

"And you really went about it the smart way," Bobby nodded. "If you want, you can stay with me when you aren't in school. But I'm gonna need to add on a room. I won't qualify to have four kids in two rooms."

"If I had anyone else, Bobby, I wouldn't bother you, but..."

"It ain't no bother, Cas," Bobby said firmly. "And if you're emancipated, that might make things way easier than foster care. Either way, I'll go with you on the 23rd to be there."

Cas grinned and both boys sighed with relief.

"Bobby," Dean said quietly. "I hope you know that you have single-handedly changed my life for the better. Several times. I'll never be able to thank you enough."

Bobby shrugged. "Somethin' bout you boys. I remember thinking you were such a good group of kids in a shitty situation. I never had kids of my own. Guess it's my way of doin' some kinda good in the universe."

"In my universe, you've been all the good. As far as adults go," Dean said, taking a drink.

"Look, I'm not willing to break any laws here, Cas. You gotta know that. I could lose Dean, Charlie, or Sam if I got in trouble. I already look like a weirdo chasin' after all these kids I got no relation to."

"I understand," Cas nodded. "And I would never want you to jeopardize anything to do with Sam or Dean. Or Charlie."

Bobby nodded. He exchanged a look with Dean. Dean wanted to argue. But Sam was only 14. He had another four years. Important years to be under Bobby's care. Dean was 18 and so was Charlie. They were both legally still under Bobby's care while they were full time students. But they had a lot more leeway than before. 

"I'm not quite sure I should be takin' you ta Iowa tonight. But I sure as hell ain't leavin' ya here."

"From what I understand," Cas said, just as seriously as Bobby, "There is only a problem if I say there is a problem. Naomi kicked me out. I have witnesses. And Naomi is not a liar. She would rather profess to me being a hopeless cause that she had to walk away from, than lie and try to keep me."

"Anything is possible, son. She might try to fight you. But I'll be there to help. Okay?"

"Okay."

Dean hugged Cas tight to him. At this moment, Dean didn't think it were possible to love people any harder.  
They ate their food and hit the road to be home by late morning. Bobby, machine that he was, drove home while Dean and Cas slept the entire way. 

 

At 10:30, Bobby sighed and rubbed at his eyes as he put the truck in park in his own driveway. Dean leaned over the seat, hugging him from behind. "Thanks, Bobby. Love you."

"Uh-huh," Bobby yawned. "Love you too, kid."  
The plan had been for Gabe to drive him and Charlie, with all their stuff in his car. Cas would drive his car with all his and Dean's stuff in. Now, they were short a car.  
Bobby went straight to bed and the rest hung out, waiting for Gabe to arrive.

After a quick lunch, Dean pulled Cas by the hand up the steps. "We're gonna nap. Wake us up in half an hour," Dean yawned.

"You got it," Charlie said, sitting on the couch with Sam for some last minute game play time.

Dean went in his room, propelling Cas toward his bed and shutting the door.

Cas flopped onto Dean's bed, on his back. "I don't have anything for the dorm room."

Dean shoved both Cas' legs onto the bed and straddled his hips, leaning down to kiss him. "You've been writing about that. So I made plans. I have everything we'll need."

Cas grinned, running his hands through Dean's hair.  
Dean kept kissing him while he listed all the things they had. "I have several sets of sheets, comforters, tons of pencils, notebooks, paper, erasers, and anything Charlie could think of that we might need. And she can think of a lot. I had all that by Christmas. In January, I bought us a microwave. The room comes with a fridge. I have all my music packed and my stereo."

Cas giggled and Dean moved down to kissing him on the neck between listing items. "I bought cleaning supplies, snacks, medicine, bathroom crap. Baby, I got it all."

Cas was gasping for breaths and turned to kiss him to stop the teasing at his neck. "I don't even have a toothbrush."

"We'll stop at the store," Dean grinned.

"I saved a lot of money. I'll get whatever you and Charlie forgot. Or whatever I need to replace."

"I can't wait to get our room today!" Dean's grin widened. 

He moved to lay next to Cas.

"I get to sleep with you tonight," Cas whispered.

"I know. I'm thinking we move our crap in, make the beds and go to sleep."

Cas laughed. "I think we can fit in a few other things. We might need to be a little bit social."

"Fine," Dean whispered into his ear. "But by 11:00, I expect you and me to be naked and in bed."

Cas' eyes lit up earnestly. "Deal."

 

After twenty minutes laying together and talking rather than napping, the pair got up and Dean did his best to spend every remaining second with Sam.

Gabe arrived and everything felt a million miles closer. They loaded everything of Charlie's into Gabe's car with his stuff. Putting a few computer boxes in the back of the truck since the weather was good.

Bobby got up with all the commotion and told Dean and Cas to load all their things into his truck. He would drive them. Dean argued and they settled on Dean driving and Bobby driving home. Since they had the truck bed to use, they had room for Bobby and Sam to come along. It was a 3 hour drive, giving Bobby a nice nap.

They were in no rush, since they had their own personal tour guide. The three hour trip went by quickly. Dean and Cas talked about what to do with their room. Dean had packed posters and poster putty. They were putting the beds together to make one big bed. Charlie had suggested they get a king size fitted sheet to hold the mattresses together.

The year they had been apart had been difficult. Cas wrote to Dean a lot. He got letters from him 6-7 times a month. But Dean had no way of writing back. Cas had spent a lot of time worrying over small things. He also continued to put stickers in the letters with messages. Not that they needed the secrecy, but it was something Dean was sure they would never stop doing. He found himself daydreaming about being some 90 year old geezer and buying stickers at the store. For his husband. It had made him laugh out loud and he got scolding frowns from his teacher and fellow students at the moment. Now, he had packed the letters. Every letter had an answering letter from Dean. It was a mixed up way to have communicated over the year, but Cas knew he was writing back to him. He would write about it, saying he could hardly wait until he could sit down and read all Dean's answers. 

They pulled onto the campus, Dean following Gabe. Dean had been here three times. Once for a campus tour and two other times just to visit Gabe. They wound around the narrow roads, breaking frequently to let walkers cross the road. It was sunny, hot and the air was full of an excited buzz. Anticipation and excitement thrummed through both boys, Sam as well. 

They found their room. It was a two bed room. They had their own sink. They shared a toilet and shower with the room next door, which was Gabe and Balthazar. There were four other rooms that shared a living room and kitchen space with them as well. One of these rooms housed Charlie and her roommate, Gilda. They had only spoken on the phone, but Charlie said she was sure they were going to get along great. Gabe knew some of the other kids from the year before. 

Dean stepped into the blank slate of a room and grinned. Cas stepped next to him and took his hand tightly. "We made it."

"Yes, we did," Dean breathed out.

Two wood framed beds stood end to end, two desks on the opposite wall. Two nightstands sat between the beds. The closets were tall with a high shelf, a rod for hanging clothes, and a built-in dresser taking up the bottom half. The floor had grey, low-pile carpet and smelled fairly new. The walls were white and there was one decent size window. It was cold and stark looking. A blank slate.

"This is fucking awesome!" Dean cheered, high-fiving Sam and squeezing Cas' hand tight.

They spent the next hour bringing up boxes and bags. Now it looked like a cluttered heap of a mess. It was slightly overwhelming and everyone agreed that it was time for dinner.

Sam and Bobby said their good-byes.

"You gonna write to me, bitch?" Dean asked, hugging Sam tight.

"I'm gonna email you, jerk. Just ask Cas. He'll help you. And you better email me back."

"I will," Dean grinned. "Be good for Bobby."

"I will."

"Bobby," Dean grinned, "make sure he has some fun too."

"I will," Bobby grinned. "And we'll see you in a month to go to the court date."

Cas and Dean nodded. 

They left and Dean took a deep breath. 

"I'm so glad Bobby has Sam," Charlie sniffled.

Dean threw an arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. "Me too."

"Party at Mallory Hall. They're usually pretty good parties," Gabe grinned.

"Awesome," all three answered.

They went to the nearest dining hall. Gabe gave them a quick tour and some tips on what was good and what to avoid. They ate dinner at a table near a window overlooking the campus. People were everywhere. 

Balthazar joined them with a big grin. He knew Charlie and Dean a little, but Cas he had only seen in pictures.

"So, this is Cassie," Balthazar grinned. "Such a pleasure," he practically purred.

Cas' eyes grew two sizes, but he grinned. Dean smirked and put an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders possessively.

"This is college, Dean," Balthazar winked, "you can lighten up a little bit."

Dean just smirked and nodded, still eyeing him with some distaste. 

"Dude!" Charlie said, looking around, "We freakin' did it! I feel like it's Christmas and I got everything on my list!"

Gilda had joined them. She was petite and pretty with long, curly brown hair. Her skin was a soft mocha. She followed Charlie like a puppy already. She reminded Dean of a little fairy with her tinkling laugh and little flouncy dress.

Dean held his drink up. "We did it!"

They all toasted and laughed at their nerdiness. 

 

They checked in with their RA and attended a quick floor meeting. It was almost 8:00 by the time they got back to their room. They shifted boxes around, finding the bedding.

After some experimenting, they settled on the beds being lengthwise across the end of the room, with a nightstand on either side. They put the desks side by side with the fridge and microwave between them. Each desk had a lamp on it and shelving above with cork boards. 

"We have all this room across from the desks," Cas mused.

"We need something to put the TV on," Dean said, nodding at the brand new TV in the box. 

Cas pulled a set of sheets out of a box and grinned.

"How many sets of sheets did you get?"  
Dean grinned cheekily. "Four. I'm planning on dirtying them. A lot."

Cas laughed and they made the bed together. The sheets were blue with thin white stripes. The comforter was thick and soft. It was reversible, blue and white plaid on one side and white with blue flowers.

"Did Charlie pick out this comforter?" Cas asked, pulling shams onto two pillows.

"Nope. I did. We can get a different one. But it was either flowers or burgundy with dark green and ducks on it. It's like bedding has to be chick or old-man-dentist-office."

The bed made, they moved on to unpack bathroom supplies. They put everything on the counter and a few things in the shower. There was a shelf and hooks above the toilet. Gabe had gotten four bins so each person had their own for shampoo and any other in-shower needs. It was like playing house. Dean would have preferred to stay and finish getting the room ready, but there was a party to go to. They met in the living room, which was a large rectangle of a room with a kitchen area at one end and three couches and two chairs at the other end. The furniture was streamline gray with multiple colors running through the threading and the same dark gray carpet as in their room. Nothing much had been done out here.

The six walked over to Mallory Hall and found the party. There was music and some people were dancing, but it was more of a get-together than anything. People were friendly. Dean realized that he and Cas had never talked about how open they were going to be. Dean had always been the weird openly gay kid that 'didn't seem gay'. 

"Want a drink?" Dean asked, pointing to a table with punch on it.

Cas nodded and they crossed the room. Dean ladled punch into two cups and handed Cas one. He tipped his head, Cas following his lead off to the side a bit. They found a bit of room and Dean turned to Cas. "I never asked you," he said, fairly low, making Cas bend closer to hear him, "how open do you want to be?"

Cas gave him a confused look. 

"Do you want people to know about us? Or-"

"Of course!" Cas grinned. "I want the world to know! I mean, if it's okay with you."

Dean grinned. That was the exact answer he wanted from the best looking man in the world. He kissed him chastely and took him by the hand. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Cas stifled an ornery grin and Dean blushed. They pushed each other to mingle a bit and it felt so good to have Cas there. Not the secret boyfriend in letters. The flesh and blood whose hand fit so perfectly into his. Any time he felt anxious, his blue eyes and little grin melted him into relaxation again.

Dean was talking to Gabe and a friend of his about a statistics class he was taking. They were giving him some pointers to study class notes only, forget the book.

Dean nodded and turned as Cas approached him from behind, putting one arm around him and whispering in his ear. "It's midnight. I believe you made some promises earlier and there is no way you are getting out of them."

Cas leaned back as if he could have been whispering about anything. Dean stood up immediately. "Thanks guys, I gotta head out."

Gabe snickered and the other guy laughed.

Dean could care less what anyone else thought. He had never seen the level of heat in Cas' eyes that he had just seen. And they had a brand new, fresh bed to get in. 

Together.

"Charlie," he cut into a conversation, "Sorry, Cas and I are heading back. You two wanna walk with us?"

"Yep," Charlie nodded. "Later, guys!" She waved to the small group of girls. The four walked back to their own dorm and up to the second floor.

They talked about some of the people they had met. Some pretty cool. Some pretty weird. Some definitely not for them.

They said goodnight in the living room and quickly went into their room. 

"I'm gonna shower," Cas said, grabbing clean boxers from his bag.

"Towels!" Dean said, rifling through a box. "I saw them earlier." He moved the box aside and opened another. "Here we go." Dean pulled out a soft, big blue towel and washcloth, handing them to Cas.

"You have a thing for blue," Cas grinned.

Dean glanced around. "Huh. I was thinking about us. I always think of blue when I think of you," he grinned sheepishly.

Cas smiled, blushing. "I'll be quick."

When their door shut, Dean dug into his box of clothes. He had a bag of things he had bought just for them. A stack of washcloths went into his nightstand drawer. Next to that he put several boxes of condoms and several bottles of lube. He wanted to be ready for anything.

He shut the drawer and dug out boxers for himself and a towel and washcloth. He brushed his teeth and by then Cas was done. He came out in a t-shirt and boxers and a really shy grin.

"I'll be quick," Dean grinned, heading into the shower next. He opened their door and went into the small outer room that was a square with four doors. Dean and Cas' room door, Gabe's room door, the bathroom door, and the outer door that led to the living room. So far they left the outer door open all the time, and that was fine with Dean.  
He showered quickly and changed, heading back to their room. He grinned when he locked the door. A locked door of his own. No one was allowed but him and Cas.

He turned, hanging his towel in his closet. Cas was in bed.

Dean bit his lip as he turned off the light and made his way through the messy room. "We can finish the room tomorrow," he said.

"Yeah."

Dean got in bed. "I locked the door."

"Okay."

Dean nestled down, Cas in the other bed, but close to the middle. "Maybe Gabe can run us to the store tomorrow. Pick up a TV stand. Can you think of anything else?"

"No."

Dean reached over, finding Cas' hand. He was warm and so handsome in the gray light of night. "Are you okay, Cas?"

"I am," he said, scooting a little closer. "I guess I'm nervous."

"About me? Don't be. I have waited so long Cas. I expect nothing, alright?"

This seemed to relax him. He grinned and nodded.

"I'm not in a hurry. We have plenty of time. For whatever."

"I don't want to be shy, but for some dumb reason I feel so shy all of a sudden," Cas admitted.

"That's okay. You're adorable when you're shy," Dean laughed.

"I am not," Cas scolded.

"You are. Definitely."

Cas laughed and crawled closer, Dean opening his arms to hold him. Once they were touching, whatever had been holding Cas back, broke. He had barely settled into Dean's side when he was up again, crawling over Dean and kissing him.

"I'm not in a rush, Cas," Dean murmured between kisses.

"Am I rushing you?" Cas asked, pulling back and looking into Dean's eyes.

"No."

"Okay then."

There wasn't much talking after that.

 

The next morning began slow and lazy. "I'm gonna fail out of school," Dean said into the back of Cas' hair. They were snuggled together tight and just couldn't seem to bring themselves to move.

"You'll do great!" Cas said, kissing Dean's hand.

"I don't see how. I'm never getting out of this bed. And neither are you. So, yeah. Failure is imminent."

Cas turned around. "We are gonna do this, Dean Winchester. We're gonna get a college education, get awesome jobs, and show our stupid families that we don't need them. And that we were worth more than what they gave us."

"You're worth everything, Cas. You know that, right?" Dean asked, running his hand through Cas' silky hair. 

"I tell you what. You keep telling me that, and I'll keep telling you that."

A sad smile passed between the two. "Deal," Dean said, sitting up. "And I guess I'll get up."

"If it makes you feel better," Cas said, leaning onto one elbow as Dean stood up and stretched. "If you never got out of bed, I could never enjoy seeing your ass in those jeans. And that would be such a waste."

Dean, having just pulled up his jeans, smirked roguishly at his ridiculously hot boyfriend. "I hate to burst your bright idea," he said, kneeling onto the bed and laying over Cas with a kiss, "but I could wear these in bed too."

"Oh my God," Cas laughed. "You should be illegal. Just look at you!"

"Speak for yourself, Mr. GQ cover model," Dean laughed, kissing Cas' neck until he squirmed back under the covers.

"Get up, sunshine. We got shit to do," Dean grinned, bouncing off the bed and pulling a t-shirt on. 

Cas crawled out of the heap of blankets and pulled his jeans on as well.

They spent the morning arranging their room and making a list of what they needed. They walked to the bookstore, getting their books for the semester while they were there. They had separated in order to make the process faster, and met up for lunch afterward.

"Dean, I can't believe we haven't talked about this, but what are you majoring in?" Cas asked as they sat at a table near the windows.

Dean sat his bag of books down on the chair beside him. He had wondered how long it would take for this topic to come up. He wasn't entirely comfortable with it himself. It made him feel insecure when sharing with Cas. He delayed a moment, taking a drink. As he did, he glanced at Cas. Cas was looking rather timid himself. A whole year had passed between the two. And while Cas had written and poured his worries, hopes and dreams out on paper, he had learned nothing from Dean in all those months. So much had happened. So many ideas for life. What he could do. What he could be. The longer he waited, the more curious and timid Cas became. It made Dean almost laugh at his boyfriend's predicament. And this one was definitely going to throw him off. "I'm majoring in biology."

Cas sat his bag down gently and gave Dean an openly puzzled look. "Did you say, biology?"

Dean laughed. "Yes."

They began eating their lunches and Cas looked quite confused and slightly concerned. "Are you thinking of becoming a science teacher?"

"Ha! No. I will not be returning to high school. Ever." Dean deadpanned. It did entertain him at how curious Cas was though.

"So...are you going to be a scientist?"

"No," Dean answered simply. Adding no further explanation.

They ate their meal in stilted silence, eventually clearing their plates and heading back to the dorm. It was warm and they walked slowly, hand in hand. The level of excitement had dropped to a much more normal vibe on campus. They walked the winding sidewalks past the sci-tech building, past the soccer field and past several parking areas. Their dorm building stood three floors tall ahead of them in a blocky, yet appealing looking building. They were definitely going to get their exercise going to school here.

"Dean," Cas finally said, unable to wait any longer, which made Dean almost burst out laughing. "Did you really major in biology?"

"I did," Dean grinned wide.

"Are you minoring in something?"

"Yep."

Cas grabbed his arm with a curious gin, head tilted and eyes so probing it made Dean laugh. "Dean!"

"Okay," Dean relented, putting his arm around Cas' shoulder and they continued walking. "So, I took a bio class last year in high school. I did this big project on lakes turning over. Bobby helped. And my teacher had me turn it into a science fair project. Which, dude, there is a ton of money to win at those things."

Cas choked a laugh, still giving him a disbelieving look.

"So, I won. I won the county fair and then the next level."

"Dean! That's amazing!"

"And then I won the state science fair. Environmental division."

Cas had stopped walking. "The STATE science fair?"

"Yeah. Not one of my cooler moments. But, actually, it was quite cool. So, I won this scholarship and some money and one of my teachers made a huge deal out of it."

"As well they should have, Dean!" Cas said excitedly. "I'm so proud of you!"

Dean shrugged, starting to walk again. "So, I ended up taking a liking to biology. Specifically water-eco systems. I am minoring in Hospitality Management."

"Wait," Cas stopped again. They were never going to make it back to their room. "Are you trying to get a college degree to take over Lake Alapmi?"

Dean grinned. "I wish. Something like it, maybe. Look, Cas, I've been on my own...pretty much my whole life. I don't really know what I want to do. But studying lakes. Nature. It always made me think of you. And that made me happy. So, I kinda went with it," he shrugged, feeling really insecure about his choices. His future plans. Everything ever. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. But I know I want to be outdoors. Work with something environmental. I looked into becoming a park ranger, but with the science fair win, my teacher, Ms. Mosley, she kinda pushed me into more the science end of things. I don't know, Cas." Dean sat on a half wall that led to their dorm building. "I'm lost, honestly! You guys all knew what you wanted to do! And I just...I don't know!"

Cas sat next to him and took his hand, Dean leaning his head onto his shoulder. "I've been stressing about it since you came last summer. You guys always seem to have your lives together. You know what you're doing. And I just don't."

"Dean," Cas huffed, "It only seems that way. We're all pretty much parent-less. We are all trying our best to figure this life thing out. You're not alone." 

"I know," Dean nodded. He sat up and almost stood up, but changed his mind, leaning his elbows onto his knees. 

"It's just...when I think about the future, all I get is you. You and me. Lake Alapmi. So...I don't know."

Cas tilted his head with a look of awe. "You do?"

"Yeah, Cas," Dean blushed, taking Cas' hand and pulling him closer, kissing him. "I do."

Cas grinned wide at that. "I thought you wanted to go into auto mechanics," Cas said softly.

"I did. This biology stuff just kept creeping in. Like a weed," he grinned.

Cas looked baffled, but smiled. "I knew you were a nerd."

Dean shoved his shoulder slightly, "I am not."

"State science fair winner," Cas grinned.

"Whatever."

"You kept all those flowers I gave you over the years," Cas mused. "You could go into botany."

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'm not into flowers. Just YOUR flowers."

Cas grinned like he knew something Dean didn't. 

"What?" Dean stood, pulling Cas up as well and headed for their building's door. 

"You're a nerd," Cas mused.

Dean sighed.

"I can't believe Charlie didn't say anything," Cas said as they entered the building and followed the quick path to their pod.

"She knows better," Dean said over his shoulder, giving Cas a slightly threatening look.

Cas laughed. "I'm all over this, Dean. You just wait."

They walked into the living room area of their pod, finding Charlie and Gilda watching TV.

"Hey guys!" Charlie jumped up, hugging Dean, then Cas.

"Hey, Charlie," they answered. "Hi, Gilda," they added.

She waved enthusiastically.

"Books?" Charlie asked, seeing their bags.

Cas dropped his onto the couch. "Charlie, tell me all about Dean and the science fair."

"Oooohhh!" She cheered, eyes going wide at Dean. "You told him? Awesome!" 

"Charlie," Dean started, but realized it wasn't worth it. Her mouth was running a mile a minute and Cas was eating it up. He took his bag to their room instead of reliving the memories. He did not like being the center of attention. Especially with academics. That was Sam's spot. Or Charlie's. Or Cas'. His smart, nerdy friends. He was just the dumb kid in the flannel and jeans scraping by at the back of the class.

He put his books on his bookshelf above his desk. As he slid the bio textbook in, he rolled his eyes. Okay, maybe he was a nerd. 

Cas eventually came in, putting his own books away. 

They moved around each other without saying anything. Dean copied his schedule into the front of two notebooks. One he would carry on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, the other he would use on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

He felt Cas approach him from behind before he even touched him, his shoulders tensing.

Cas' hands slid onto his shoulders and circled around, his chin touching down on his left shoulder. Dean said nothing, just looking at his finished schedule. He knew Cas was reading over it.

"We don't have any classes together."

Dean grinned a little. "No?"

"No," Cas said sadly. "But we could have lunch together every day, I think."

"Good," Dean murmured, running his hand up Cas' arm and tipping his head to touch Cas'.

"If we don't get any classes together our first year, chances aren't good that we ever will," Cas said, turning as he talked so that his warm breath snaked across Dean's neck and jaw.

Dean sighed, his eyes closing and his body relaxing like putty into Cas' hands. "Yeah, you're probably right."

A loud knock on their door made Cas sigh in frustration and Dean snickered.

Cas pulled away, turning to pull the door open.

"Your room looks awesome!" Charlie grinned, walking in and flopping onto the bed.

"What's up, Charlie?" Dean asked, turning in his chair to look at the tiny red head spread out on his side of the bed. 

"Okay," she began, "so, have you seen how hot my roommate is? She's like...a ten. An eleven. And so sweet."

"And follows you like a puppy," Dean grinned.

"Right?!" Charlie's head popped up to look him in the eyes. She sat up fully and pulled on her flannel sleeve nervously. "So, I think she might be into me."

Dean nodded, Cas taking a seat in his own desk chair.  
"But she's so into me that...it kinda takes the fun out of it. Oh, I am horrible. Truly. A monster," she dropped her head down into her hands.

Dean glanced at Cas, but quickly looked back at Charlie. "Look, we've only been here two days, Charlie. You don't have to decide anything. Just relax, would ya?"

She looked away nervously. "I'm jumping in again, aren't I? I'm doing that thing where I get too excited, too fast," she rushed, giving Dean a slightly wild-eyed look. 

Dean knew exactly what was happening. He knew Charlie better than anyone. He waved a hand and she jumped off the bed and crawled onto his lap, wrapping her arms tightly around him. Dean held her and they just sat quietly a moment.

"I miss my mom," she whispered.

"I know," Dean nodded, kissing her soft red hair.

"I want to call her and tell her about everything."

Dean nodded against her head. "We can go see her this weekend."

"No," Charlie shook her head, squeezing him tighter. "It's too far. And I need to stop. I just..."

"We can do whatever we want," Dean said firmly. "Remember?"

Charlie nodded, sniffing slightly. "I remember."

"We have too much stuff to do this weekend though," she added quietly, several silent moments later.

"I have time," Dean said firmly again. His hands never stopped stroking her hair or holding her tight. He had seen Charlie freak out many times. He had learned that if he just held her for a little while, made sure she knew he was there, that she could usually pull her way out of it. Her mother being in a coma was almost worse than her having died, in Dean's opinion. She was still so attached to her mom. And when it hit her that she was gone, Dean usually took her to see her. But now they were four hours away. But he would make it happen. For her.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"Charlie," Dean started an old lecture.

"I'm not sorry," she grinned, making him stop his spiel. "I don't have to be sorry. This is what family is for," she repeated the familiar words out loud. She let go of her hold on him, turning so he just cradled her on his lap, her head tucked under his chin. "I'm so glad you're here, Dean," she whispered.

"Me too. It's gonna be okay, Charlie. Why don't you call Bobby and Sam. You know they're dying to hear from us. You can spill to them and everyone will be happier.

She sat up, looking down at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Dean smiled, squeezing her hand.

She nodded.

"I know it's not the same," he said, reading her thoughts so easily. "But Bobby and Sam would love it."

She nodded, wiping a tear away. She leaned down, hugging him tight. "I love you," she said, sighing.

"Love you too," he said, hugging her back. 

She got to her feet, wiping off her cheeks, straightening her shirt and plastering on a smile.

"Charlie," Dean said, snagging her hand. "Don't rush into anything. With Gilda, I mean. Just...feel it out first."

Charlie nodded. "I will." She kissed him on top of the head, squeezing his hand and stepped away.

The pair looked over at Cas, who had watched the whole scene quietly.

"Sorry, Cas," Charlie shrugged with a guilty smile. "I'm used to just having Dean for my freak-out moments. It's all brother-sister stuff, I swear."

Cas held up a hand. "Charlie, please, don't apologize. I'm glad you two have each other. You are very lucky. And if you ever need anything, I'm always here for you as well."

"Aw," Charlie bounced the two steps to him and hugged him tight. "Thanks, Cas. Same goes for you!" She waved, leaving with a quick snap of the door.

Cas and Dean looked at each other a moment.

"Are you really okay?" Dean asked. He had had so many issues in school with Charlie. For the most part, people thought they were siblings that slept together. Neither of them cared a whole lot what others thought of them, but those rumors were annoying. They told anyone willing to ask, but that wasn't many. Most people just snubbed them. Many girls had crushed over Dean and Charlie had been asked out multiple times. By guys. But Dean put it out there quite easily that he was gay and taken. Charlie never dated that year. They went to prom together, for fun, which fueled the incest rumors even more. By the time they graduated, the rumors had been stamped down and they had managed to gain a lot of favoritism among their classmates. Not that either one needed it. It was more a crash and burn on Crowley's part, making people hate him and like Charlie and Dean. So, if they held hands or Charlie sat on Dean's lap, people talked less. 

Either way, Dean and Charlie had been inseparable. They had learned to help each other through the tough moments in life. Charlie more so. Every now and then, Charlie would just lose her cool with her entire situation. Every now and then, Dean would lose it having to wait for Cas or having to deal with life in general. They knew they were damaged. Their lives were not normal. Their family was so messed up. But the constant balance of each other kept them sane. Bobby kept them happy. And Sam kept them strong. There were some moments where they knew they were lucky beyond belief to be where they were. And then there were the dark moments when the damages splintered them, wrecking their moments.

They had spent every Sunday with Charlie's mom. They both found her an outlet to talk to. Dean had always kept things bottled up so tight. There was something so freeing about telling Charlie's mom all his dumb little thoughts. There was no judgement. No punishment. No reprimand. But there were no hugs and no praise either. It was a place to vent and share. And Dean hoped some day that she would wake up and remember every word he and Charlie had said. He wanted to see her sit up and hug her daughter. But as the months passed, she only paled slowly. She was fading. He could see it. Feel it. And this Sunday would be the first Sunday she would not be there. Dean knew it was going to be rough. And he would do anything for her. Anything. 

But now he had Cas. And he would do anything for him as well. But he could see how his relationship with Charlie could be a problem. If Cas got jealous, it could make things very difficult. And he had no idea what to do with those 'what ifs'. 

"Dean, I'm glad you guys have each other." Cas grinned and turned back to his own desk, opening a notebook.

Dean saw a flag of worry pop up for the first time. He turned back to his own notebook, looking over his schedule. He closed his eyes again, sending out a prayer that Cas would really understand. That Charlie would be careful. That he would be smart and not ruin anything.

 

Classes began the next day and the pair spent the rest of the day getting ready. The TV sat untouched, neither one feeling like asking Gabe for a ride to the store. They could go without it for a while.

That night, Dean went to bed first, Cas staying up to finish reading the first chapter of one of his books. The rest of the day had been quiet. Dean wanted it to go back to normal. But he wasn't willing to talk about it either. Talking about Charlie might just make Cas more mad. Or more jealous. Either one made Dean nervous.

Dean shoved his head into his pillow, drilling his shoulder down into the mattress, aggressively getting a comfortable spot in bed. Cas read on under the desk lamp with the methodical soft swish every time he turned a page. He woke to hands pulling at him in the dark.

He mumbled incoherently and reached for Cas' warm body greedily.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered as Cas' head laid on his pillow.

"Don't be sorry," Cas said. "Just, don't leave me out."

"Leave you out?" Dean asked, his eyes opening and his mind clicking slowly into gear. "What?"

Cas nestled in tighter to Dean. "You know, just don't tell Charlie stuff you wouldn't tell me. Don't forget that I'm here for you. For everything."

Dean hugged him tight. "I know that, Cas. And I won't leave you out. But Charlie needs me too. Okay?"

"Okay," Cas nodded into his chest.

"And I need you, Cas."

Cas' head tipped up, their faces almost touching.

"I need you."

Cas squirmed out of his snuggled position and kissed Dean into his pillow. Hands roamed freely and the expanse of warm, naked skin was intoxicating. "I love you, Cas. So much."

"I love you too, Dean."

 

Day three of dorm life began in a tangle of sweaty sheets. Dean and Cas were learning things before their feet even hit the floor. Dean learned that Cas was timid and gentle. But could flip to bossy when encouraged. He also learned that Cas had been right about him years ago. He was loud in bed. Not that Cas was quiet either. And so far, no one was biting anyone. But hey, they were still new at all this. It was freeing to be able to reach over at night and stroke someone from sleep to ecstasy. There was a power and an allowance that neither had ever experienced. It was addicting.

"I have my first class in an hour," Dean moaned, pulling Cas' hand off his sticky dick.

Cas jolted upright. "That means I have class in 45 minutes!"

His hair was fucked, sticking up in a I've-just-been-fucked messiness.

"You look perfect," Dean grinned. "Brush your teeth and get dressed.

"Yeah?" Cas asked, attempting to smooth his hair, only making it better in Dean's eyes.

"Oh yeah," Dean nodded, clapping him on the shoulder.  
He headed to the shower, kissing Cas goodbye for the morning. "See you at the food court at 12:15?"  
"Yes!" Cas hollered, getting ready. "Haveagooddayloveyou!" The door slammed and Dean laughed into the spray of water. Cas looked taken, that was for sure. His hair and the lovely blue-purple mark on his neck he hadn't bothered to tell him about either.

Dean had two classes finished, both fairly boring. Gilda was in his class before his lunch break and the pair walked across the wide, grassy expanse in the center of campus toward the largest food court. It was busy and the pair walked around until they found Cas sitting on a half wall that ran through the center of the cafeteria. His nose was in a book and Dean could only grin at his hair.

"Hey," Dean said, stopping next to him and grinning. Cas looked up innocently, his blue eyes lighting with excitement. 

"Hello, Dean," he grinned, shutting his book.

Dean did not sigh out loud. Whimper even at the memory of how Cas' hair got so mussed. Yep. He did that. Every strand.

"Gilda," he grinned, standing. 

Her eyebrows lifted slightly at his state and she pursed her lips before demurely saying, "Hello."

Cas' eyes flitted back to Dean. "Lunch?"

"Yeah, I'm starving," Dean grinned, taking Cas' hand and heading for the line. 

They both got hoagies, while Gilda opted for rabbit food. They found a table in the center of the room and sat down.  
Not even 5 minutes into their peaceful meal, a flurry of conversation met their ears before Charlie and Gabe even got to the table. They both plopped down, still going at it.

"What customers?" Gabe almost shouted.

"Everyone who types in the words, 'I need sneakers'!" She said exasperated.

"So..." Gabe went on, looking bewildered and like Charlie was insane, "you just make a page. You post it. People miraculously find it and order your shit."

"Yes," Charlie said, like he had finally figured out all of life's mysteries.

"Bullshit."

"Uhhh!" Charlie groaned. "It's the internet, Gabriel. That's how it works. Just trust me."

"She's right," Cas added, immediately receiving a bitchface from Dean and Gabe. 

Gabe's bitchface quickly shifted. "Jesus, Cas. You look like-" he gave Dean an incredulous look.

Dean tried to stifle his grin, looking at his hoagie guiltily.

"What?" Cas asked, looking down at his green t-shirt. "I've been getting odd looks all morning."

Gabe's jaw tightened, his eyes leaving Dean and going back to Cas. "That's because you look like you just got fucked ten ways from Sunday."

Gilda choked.

Dean spewed water like a fountain.

Charlie nodded.

Cas looked shocked. "What?"

"The hair," Gabe went on, Charlie nodding. "The hickey."

"Hic-" Cas blushed profusely, his hands covering his neck.

"You look fine," Charlie waved off his embarrassment. 

He leaned forward onto his elbows, his hands sliding up into his hair.

"Yeah, that'll help," Gabe grinned.

Cas' head popped up, eyes hard as stone.

"Hey! Don't glare at me! Smite him! He's the one that marked you up as 'taken' and sent you out for your first day of school!"

Dean wanted to laugh, it was there, coiling in his chest, cheeks burning, but the look on Cas' face stayed his humor. "Cas," Dean said. Big mistake.

Those stoney blue eyes turned onto him like lasers. Dean quickly licked his lips and tried for a I'm-taking-you-seriously face.

"Dean!" Cas lashed.

"What? Sorry! But hey, you look freakin' hot as hell!" Dean babbled.

Cas' brow dropped into a scowl.

"You do look hot," Charlie grinned.

"That must be why I got three phone numbers today," he said bitterly dropping three pieces of paper on the table from his pocket.

"See? You look...". Dean bit his lip, afraid to end his sentence.

Cas sat back. "I trusted you, Dean."

Dean's mouth opened and closed but, yeah. He had nothing.

He leaned forward again. Dean fighting his eyes from going to his hair. "You think this is funny?"

"I..." Dean had nothing. He just bit his lip again and stared at Cas with a guilty, worried look.

"You have no idea who you are pranking, Winchester," Cas said in a low, gravelly tone.

Dean's eyebrow raised.  
"Gone are the days of letting assholes put itching powder in my bed, Dean. You have no idea what I will do to you."

The coil of humor was gone. Disintegrated. Instead, his chest was full of flame and a breath he could not quite manage in or out. Cas was fucking hot as hell all angry and fired up. And there was no question Dean was going to pay for this moment he had put Cas through. 

"I..." he tried again, weakly.

Cas stood up, taking his tray, Gabe following suit.

"Cas?" Dean called, watching his boyfriend walk away. Several people looked up at him and he sat back down, looking at Charlie and Gilda with a worried frown. "I think I pissed him off."

"I think you turned him on. You two are ridiculous," Charlie laughed.

"You think?" Dean asked, trying to look through the crowd again. No luck.

He finished his lunch while Charlie explained for the millionth time how the internet worked and how she wanted to start up an internet business.

"Selling sneakers?" Dean asked.

"No. Dude. That was just an example. You could sell anything though. And it's all new, so everyone wants to try it. You want in?"

"Hell yeah. I have total faith in you, Red."

Charlie beamed. "So, this friend of mine in one of my computer classes, I swear we are related, is super, crazy computer smart and we have a plan."

"A plan?" Dean asked. "Like, Pinky and the Brain plan? You gonna take over the world?"

"Yes," she said firmly.

"I'm so there," Dean nodded. "Better us than them," he said, raising his drink in an old and familiar drink toast or hand shake he had with Charlie.

"Fuck them!" She answered automatically.

This toast had come from countless attempts from Crowley to make them look bad. Inevitably, something would back-fire and Dean or Charlie would say, "Look who's laughing now. Better us than them." And the other would respond with a "fuck them". It was a thing of beauty really.

Gilda looked slightly shell-shocked.

Charlie patted her arm and gave her a warm grin. "Sorry Gilda."

She shrugged a shoulder to say she did not mind, but her eyebrows were permanently halfway up her forehead.

"How was class?" Charlie asked, changing the subject and hopefully calming things down a notch.

 

**********************

Dean went to his next class and was done for the day. He walked back to his room, wondering how Cas had faired the rest of his day. He shouldn't have sent Cas out on his first day with a hickey blazing and his hair so...yeah. It was a douche move and he was going to have to apologize for it. More than that, honestly, he feared the retaliation. And with Gabe's help...yeah. He was so screwed.

He unlocked the door and came into the room. It was dark and quiet and for a quick moment, Dean worried that Cas wouldn't come back. He shoved these thoughts down, not wanting to feed into his insecurities. He unloaded his book bag, tossing it under his desk. He had a desk calendar and began putting paper and project due dates on it. There was so much work to be done. He gnawed on his pencil, deciding what topics to focus on with two of the papers. 

The door opened and Dean looked up, grinning. "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean." Cas sat his book bag on his desk and went into the bathroom.

Dean could not help but notice that his hair still looked the same. And the hickey. So, he hadn't hid anything. That meant he must have worn them both with some amount of pride. Dean grinned slowly. Whatever punishment Cas had in mind, Dean was up for it.

The next day was like the second first day of school. New classes, new professors. Dean nervously checked himself several times before he walked out the door for class. He had a paranoid sensation that Cas had pranked him some how, some way. But nothing. It made him seriously nervous.

Gilda was in his first class of the day and for once, it was hard to tell who was more nervous. Her or Dean.

By the end of his third class, Dean was getting anxious. The prank HAD to be coming. Dean nervously entered the food court to meet up with Cas.

Cas found him, making Dean jump when he touched his shoulder. "Dean, ready for lunch?" Cas smiled, cool as a cucumber.

"Yeah. Let's do it," Dean huffed. 

They found a table with Gabe and Charlie already sitting at it. 

"Whatsa matter with you, Winchester?" Gabe asked, grinning.

"Fuck you, Gabriel," Dean snapped quietly.

Charlie furrowed her thin, red brows. "What's wrong, Dean? You look really nervous."

"No, I don't," he assured Charlie, glaring at Cas and Gabe.

"He's worried," Cas explained, making Dean's eyes widen. The shit knew exactly what he was doing! "He's afraid of how I am going to get back at him for yesterday."

Dean pressed his lips together, glaring at Cas.

"Oh," she nodded.

"Oh?" Dean snapped, loudly whispering to Charlie, "You have no idea the things these two can come up with!"

"Dude," Charlie deadpanned. "Chill. Besides, his hair doesn't look that different today. He always has that...look."

Now Cas glared at Charlie.

"You do," she said apologetically. "But it's hot!"

The polo Cas had on today did help hide the hickey. His hair was slightly tamer.

 

The rest of the week continued this way. Day after day, Dean's worry grew and Cas stayed cool and unflappable.  
By Saturday, Dean was relaxing.

They slept in that morning, neither needing to get up early for anything.

Dean curled tighter into Castiel's side, his hand lazily sliding down his other side. Cas mumbling incoherent happy words. It made Dean grin against the smooth skin of his shoulder.

"Dean," Cas finally got out.

"Yeah?" Dean whispered, not wanting to break the frail morning moment of wakeful sleep. His lips began leaving a stream of kisses.

"I need to go out today."

"Out where?"

"Out shopping. Wanna go?"

"Mmhm," Dean agreed, letting his eyes drift closed again. 

 

********************

 

They headed to the next town to shop at several downtown shops, finding a stand for the TV that would hold the VCR and game systems too. They bought extension cords and a small pile of other things. 

Once their goods were loaded into the car, they headed further along the main stretch of shops, hand in hand. Charlie and Gabe had great fun mocking the pair. Cas stopped in his tracks at a tattoo shop.

"Wanna go in?" Dean asked.

"No," Cas said shyly, his eyes still on the drawings in the windows.

"Come on," Dean grinned, pulling Cas inside, Gabe and Charlie eagerly following.

There was a smell of antiseptic and patchouli in the air. A buzzing sound could be heard from the back, but they slowly drifted around the main room, looking at the drawings.

"I think you should get a tattoo," Cas grinned.

"Me?" Dean asked. "Yeah. I'll get one."

"Somewhere visible. With my name on it," Cas' grin widened.

Dean's eyebrows raised. "Like where? My forehead? Property of Castiel Novak across my forehead? Something like that?"

"That would be satisfactory," Cas nodded with a contrite grin. "You marked me for everyone to see. Seems only fair."

"No," Dean smirked. "No face."

Cas' eyes danced. "You would get my name tattooed on you?"

"Yeah," Dean said excitedly, looking around with renewed inspiration. He picked up a piece of copy paper from the counter and drew out a few hearts made out of CAS.

"Tattoos are forever, Dean," Cas said quietly, looking at three versions of Dean's hearts.

"Yes they are," Dean grinned, sounding quite like he was looking forward to the tattoo and the idea of forever together. 

"Visible," Cas breathed in his ear, making Dean close his eyes. 

"Somewhere visible," Dean grinned, "for one morning with extra messy hair? Sounds kinda unfair to me."

"My first day of college, Dean," Cas said seriously, locking eyes with him and parking an elbow on the counter. "I'll never get any of those first impressions back. Ever. My professors. My classmates, potential colleagues, Dean."

"Geez! Alright," Dean laughed. "Permanent marking. I'm in if you are."

"Oh, I've done my part. All day on Monday. This is your deal. Winchester."

Dean felt his insides warm. Bossy Cas. It made him grin like a cat with a prize. 

"Not today. I need a couple weeks for planning."

"One week," Cas said, eyes narrowing.

"Dude, it's forever!" 

Cas' eyes narrowed again.

Fuck.

"One week," Dean relented.

Cas grinned.

"Can't wait to see how I escalate this one," Dean smirked.  
Cas' eyebrows lifted. "Fine, a couple weeks."

"Oh no. I'm not going back on my deal," Dean grinned. "Whatsa matter, Cas? Nervous?"

"Perhaps," Cas swallowed.

"You should be." 

Dean scheduled an appointment for the following Saturday with the tattoo artist. She was badass and even made Dean nervous.

"See ya next week, boys," she grinned.

Dean nodded. "Nice to meet you, Pam."

She winked. Damn. Cas pointedly took Dean by the hand and the group left the small shop.

 

********************

 

The next day, Gabe, Cas, Charlie and Dean loaded into Gabe's car and drove the four hours to the nursing home Charlie's mom was in. 

Gabe and Cas came in to meet her.

Gabe was paler by the second and spent most of his time looking around, more than freaked out. Cas rolled his eyes and whacked Gabe on the shoulder multiple times, Gabe wincing every time. 

They only stayed a few minutes and left Dean and Charlie to visit longer.

Charlie filled her mom in on her plans. For once, Charlie talked about the future. Plans she had. The internet business thing. Gilda. The dorms. Her job for the future. Her new friend, Ash, who Dean had only heard about at this point. Dean and Cas' prank war. Where she might want to live some day.

Dean was filled with the familiar mixed bag of emotions. Sad. Sad to watch Charlie grin and laugh with no smile in return from the red haired lady lying there. Happiness. Happy to see Charlie relax and feel the love from only the touch of a mother's hand can bring. Sorrow. Why can't her eyes just open. Just once. Just smile. One time for Charlie. Love. As they both spill their every detail, the open and listening face. Knowing that if she could, she would hug Charlie. Hell, she would hug Dean by now too. Hope. Hope that some day she would get better. Fear. Fear that the best mom that the four of them had would not get her chance to resurface. That Charlie would break. That Dean would lose her.

"I wish I had a good book to read to you, Mom," Charlie grinned. "But I read so much that I haven't had time to read anything fun. Just computer stuff. And the other crap they make me take. I mean really, who needs history 101 for a computer degree? Guess what, no computers there!" She rolled her eyes and laughed, squeezing her mom's hand. 

Dean stood up. He walked to the other side of the bed. Her hand felt puffy. Clammy. He held it a little longer than he usually did. "Bye, Trudy. See you next month. And I'll keep an eye on Charlie." He brushed a few strands of red hair from her face, noting how puffy she looked. He put her hand back on the pillow it had been on. He stepped out, letting Charlie say her goodbyes. She stepped out of the room a few minutes later and he put an arm around her as they walked out. They waved goodbye to the staff, who loved them and just knew they would get married some day.

They stopped at Bobby's, rolling down the windy lane unannounced. Gabe barely had the car in park and Bobby was on the porch looking worried. They got out of the car and Bobby threw his hands up, eyes full of worry. "What happened? Who got expelled?"

"Nobody!" They all laughed, filling the small porch, hugging him in a pile.

"We missed you, Bobby!" Charlie laughed, hugging him tight and staying, even when the others had stepped back.

"You missed me?" Bobby asked, incredulous.

"Yeah!" Dean laughed. "We love you, old man. Deal with it."

"Who you callin' old man, brat. Sam's upstairs. Head in his headphones, go rustle him out of there, Dean."

Dean quietly took the steps two at a time, poking his head into Sam's room. He was half singing lyrics to some crap Dean didn't know, nose in a comic book.

He stepped in and launched himself on top of the bed, Sam jumping and screaming, definitely screaming like a girl. 

"Dean!" He panted.

"Hiya, Sammy!" He tickled him until he was crying, for good measure and finally let him up.

"What are ya doin' here?" Sam asked, still out of breath as they headed down the steps.

"Missed ya," Dean grinned.

"Jerk," Sam nudged him in the ribs.

"Bitch," Dean scoffed, swatting him on the back of the head before Charlie had him wrapped in a hug, kissing the top of his head.

"Oh my God, I miss you!" She squealed.

"I miss you too, Charlie!"

They sat around the table, having a good laugh with Sam and Bobby. It seemed like no time at all until they were heading out to Gabe's car.

"Samsquatch, grow a little, would ya?" Gabe winked at Sam, who rolled his eyes but hugged him anyway. 

As they got into the car, Bobby pulled Dean aside. "You okay?" 

Dean grinned. "Yeah. Charlie missed seeing her mom, so we went to visit. Then stopped here."

Bobby nodded. "I'll go see her on Sundays while Charlie is away. Trudy was a good friend. Loved that girl. And Robbie, her husband."

Dean hugged the guy again. "Sammy okay?"

"Of course he's okay," Bobby scoffed. "I'm keepin' him busy. Real busy."

Dean patted him on the shoulder and got into the car. It felt good to stop in. Home. To stop by home and see Bobby and Sam. He held Cas' hand tight in the backseat as they drove back to campus.

 

**************************

Saturday came quickly. Dean had spent several hours researching in the library with Charlie. He had settled on his tattoo and would not let Cas see it. After all, he had the rest of Dean's life to look at it, right?

Charlie approved it, once Dean swore a millions times that yes, he wanted Cas' name on his body. And that was all the encouragement he needed.

Before they walked into the tattoo parlor, Dean stopped. "Dude," he said to Cas, "whatever you do, don't leave me in there alone. That lady is a cougar."

"Scared, Winchester?" Gabe laughed.

"You just wait. She smacked my ass last time I was here!"

Cas looked affronted. "That is so unprofessional."

Dean rolled his eyes. Cas. Geez.

He hauled the door open, the four going in.

"There's my Saturday delight!" Came the velvety voice of Pam.

"Morning Pam," Dean ginned nervously and handed two papers to her. 

Cas snatched one, looking at it. His face softened into a smile. "Daisies?"

Dean and Cas exchanged a warm smile, Dean winking.

Cas laid the paper back down, Pam picking it up. Cas slid the other paper toward him. "What's this?"

"Your name. In Enochian."

"Enochian?" Gabe asked. "What's that?"

"Language of the angels," Dean said, eyes lifting to Cas' again. 

"Dean," Cas said softly, "that's beautiful."

Dean grinned, feeling steadily more confident about his choices.

"Around your wrist?" Cas asked, reading the instructions Dean had written on the paper.

"Yeah."

Cas gave Pam a nervous look. "Dean," his eyes went back to him, "Please don't put a tattoo somewhere you might regret. What about getting a job?"

"I tried to tell him that," Charlie added, looking worried.

"We can do the daisy chain today and wait on the other one, sugar," Pam said.

"No...I want it. Okay, well, I thought the back of my neck might be cool too," Dean shrugged.

Cas' eyebrows lifted. "Like across the back of your neck? No, Dean," Cas fretted.

"No, like starting at my neck and going down my spine."

Cas chewed his lip. "Dean, it's so permanent."

"Yeah, Cas. I know. Charlie? Whatya think?"

"I like it," she grinned.

"Alright, neck it is," Dean grinned, Pam nodding. 

"And when is babyface here getting some tats?" Pam asked, eyeing Gabe like a piece of meat. It made Dean grin to see even Gabe hesitate under her openly flirtatious grin.

"Not today," Dean clapped Gabe on the shoulder.

"Not ever," Gabe gulped.

Dean waited while Pam looked at the drawings again.  
"You sure you want this on your bicep?" She asked with that cat-like grin. "It's gonna be there forever. Last chance to do the sensible thing."

"Yep."

"And this one down your neck?"

"Yep."

"Get comfy then," she pointed toward the back.

Dean laid down in the chair, taking his flannel off and handing it to Cas. She began drawing with pointers from him for size and placement. 

"Black and grey, baby?" she said.

"Yep."

"You got it sugar." She glanced at Cas, who took a seat on the stool next to Dean, taking his hand.

"You must be Cas."

He nodded. 

"Damn," she grinned wide. "So this guy is your angel, Dean?"

"Yes he is. He's named after the angel of Thursday. I found it in a book in the library at school."

Cas smiled so hard it made Dean laugh. "You nerd," Cas barely managed, getting choked up.

Cas blushed and Dean just put his head down, finding a zone to fall into.

"I got an idea," Pam grinned, pulling out a piece of paper. "What if we do this," she wrote Cas' name in the chunky black form of Enochian going down the paper. She then twined a green stem down through the letters with one daisy at the bottom of it.

"I like it," Dean grinned big, looking at Cas.

"Me too," Cas nodded.

"This way, you do one tattoo and it'll be cheaper too," Pam added.

"Perfect, so no chain around my bicep. Just the back."

"Flip over there, sugar."

Dean turned over, finding a comfortable place to rest.  
The constant buzz of the needle and scratching was annoying and made Dean want to pull away but he fell further into a zone, putting his thoughts into the warm hand that held his. By the time she was done, Dean was like putty.

He resurfaced when Cas kissed him on the shoulder. He blinked rapidly and sat up a bit, wincing at the burn. 

"You did great, kid."

"We done?" Dean asked, yawning.

"Mm," she grunted approvingly. "When will you be in my chair, blue eyes?" She said, looking at Cas.

"Soon," Cas said in a low voice, eyes only on Dean. "Maybe I will get the daisy chain on my arm."  
The pair eyed each other with so much history behind the simple flower. 

"Damn. Too bad you boys can't bottle that shit. I haven't seen two people so into each other...maybe ever."

Gabe and Charlie had left and come back and left again.  
Bandaged and exhausted, Dean and Cas stepped out of the little shop two hours later. 

Cas looked nervous.

"You okay, Cas?" Dean nudged.

"Me? Are you? I'm terrified you are going to wake up and hate me for this!" He fretted.

"Dude. I'm done. I told you that, Cas. If you decide to leave me some day, there would be way more than this tattoo scarring me."

"Dean," Cas said, stopping and looking into his eyes, "I will never leave you. Never."

"Then I'm not worried about it," Dean grinned.

Cas was flushed the rest of the night until they got back to their room. He quickly went to work putting Dean to bed, the pair snuggling up to watch a movie.

"I love you," Cas said out of the blue, making Dean turn to look at him. "You were so...cool."

Dean laughed.

"I'm serious," Cas grinned, laughing at himself. "Your dad was not like the rest of the family. And you were sorta like him in some ways. Only...all the good parts. Your worn jeans. Your hair. The way you talked to the adults. The way you held Sam's hand and didn't give a shit who saw you. The way you took charge. It inspired me, Dean. Changed me. Made me think for myself instead of trying to fit into the Novak mold. The Milton mentality. The way you could play the game and get exactly what you wanted. And when things went bad...you just took it."

Dean watched as a smile, a frown and a look of regret flitted across his gentle face.

"And every time you touched me, even accidentally." He laughed at a memory that made Dean wish he could see what those blue eyes were seeing. "I got in bed with you. I just...decided to hell with everything and got in bed with you."

"The first night?" Dean asked, trying to find the memory Cas was sharing.

"Yes. When Gabe had put itching powder in my bed and I slept in the living room. I came in later and there you were, holding your brother without a care in the world. I just pulled the cover back and got in."

"Creeper," Dean grinned, teasing him.

"I know." Cas laughed. "I meant to get up so you would never know. But I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I thought, 'oh, no! He's gonna hate me! Make fun of me!'  
But you turned, looking surprised and smiled."

"I did," Dean laughed.

"You smiled!" Cas laughed. "You yelled then, playing it off, but the smile was there. And the daisy I gave you. You kept it."

Dean smiled softer. "I knew you were special. You were so...open. Free. And yet, you had been through hell. I wanted to be a good person like you. You had dealt with shitty parents and didn't let it make you a bad person. You just let yourself be you."

Cas huffed a laugh. "With you. A week a year."

"Well, it made me try to act better. My dad's badass act was only cool for so long. Being a good person was more important. And Sam deserved a good person to be around."

They laid a long moment, lost in memories together. 

 

*****************************

 

September 23rd, Bobby pulled up to the dorm building early in the morning. Dean saw the truck from their window in their room.

"He's here," Dean said quietly, crawling off the bed and taking Cas' nervous hand.

"Okay." Cas walked toward their door, stopping with his hand on the knob. "Dean, if something happens today...if I end up having to leave with Naomi-"

"That's not going to happen, Cas!" Dean pulled Cas into a crushing hug. "I'm not losing you. Not for one fucking day."

Cas held on tight a moment before sighing and pulling back. "I won't let you ruin your life for a few months being separated. I'll be 18 soon."

Dean shook his head. "Nothing involving you could ruin my life. Just...let's just go. Let's do this. There's no use freaking out until we need to, right?"

"Right," Cas nodded. He put a back pack on and they went out the door.

"Good luck!" Charlie greeted him with a thumping hug. "I gotta go to class, but let me know ASAP how it goes!" She kissed his cheek and ran down the hall to hug Bobby before leaving for class.

Gabe was waiting on one of the couches. "Ready? He here?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, taking Cas by the hand. The three went down the stairs and out the door, meeting a nervous looking Bobby at his truck. 

"Mornin' boys," Bobby grinned, hugging all three in turn.

"Holy shit, Bobby!" Dean laughed, "I didn't know you even owned a suit!"

Bobby sighed.

"Is that gel in your hair?" Cas asked, squinting to inspect Bobby's head.

"Get in the damn truck, all of ya!" Bobby growled.

"I think you look quite respectable, Bobby," Gabe grinned.

"Kissin' my ass ain't helpin' you none either, Gabriel."

They all laughed. "Guess Cas isn't the only nervous one," Dean said, pulling Cas into his side in the back seat. Cas dropped his head on Dean's shoulder and took a deep breath.

"Chill out, Cassie," Gabe said, patting his knee. "We got you. You're gonna be just fine."

"Damn right," Bobby nodded confidently, catching Cas' eye in the rearview mirror.

Cas grinned back and sat up a bit straighter, watching the campus disappear out his window.

Today was Cas' court date for the Preliminary meeting in his emancipation process. If things went well, Naomi would not show up. Cas would get a court date for the real deal to happen and it would be over soon. 

The trip was quiet. 

The wait in the hallway at the courthouse was even quieter. Cas did not need a lawyer at this step, so it was just the four of them on the bench in the hall. Cas stood up, pacing back and forth on the impossibly shiny black floors. He looked good in his black dress pants and white button-up with a blue tie. His hair was tamed and his shoes were shined. But his face was pale, making his eyes look electric blue.

Cas pivoted on his pacing when they heard the clomp, clomp of dress shoes.

Cas' nail biting stopped when his hand dropped to his side. Naomi came bustling around the corner, several men in suits flanking her.

"Damnit," Bobby muttered, smoothing his hair back.

Dean and Gabe were on their feet, Dean going to Cas' side and Gabe stepping in front of both of them.

"I should have known," she snapped like a whip, Cas flinching slightly.

"Gabriel," Zachariah said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here, Dad?" Gabriel demanded with more authority and presence than Dean had ever witnessed in the sandy-haired boy before. "Are you here to help Aunt Naomi ruin Cas for good? Because that's what she wants."

Naomi's glares were steadily divided between Cas and Dean.

The door to the courtroom opened, people coming out, signaling their turn.

"We got this," Dean said firmly. He put a steady hand on Cas' shoulder and steered him into the courtroom, Gabriel and Bobby following and keeping a distance between Zachariah and Naomi and Cas.

Gabriel and Zachariah could be heard bickering until Cas stood at the table in front of the judge. It wasn't a courtroom with stands and a jury box like on TV. It was more like a fancy conference room with a shiny, mahogany table with lots of seats.

"Castiel Novak," the judge called with mild disinterest.

"Yes, ma'am," Cas said with 80% more confidence than he had two seconds ago.

The judge was a plump woman with a sing-song voice. She smelled like Christmas. It was odd and made Dean suspicious and distrustful immediately. The name plate on the table said, 'Judge Madge Carrigan'.

"So, what brings you to my courthouse today, Castiel?" She asked.

"I am filing for emancipation from my parents, Naomi and Charles Novak."

"Oh my," she tisked, "I do hate to process these types of cases. Always seems so rash."

"I believe you'll find all the necessary documents there in your file," Cas added. Dean was impressed with his composure.

"Mmhm, I see...the affidavit, the petition, bank statements, work stubs from...two employers?"

"I got a new job when I moved," Cas explained quickly, the judge nodding.

"Okie dokie, then letters from your guidance counselors and a Mr. Robert Singer."

She read over one of the forms while they all waited impatiently.

"Is Mr. Singer with you today?"

"Yes, ma'am," Cas answered, Bobby stepping up to the table and sitting on one of the chairs there. 

"And are there parents of Mr. Novak present?"

"Yes. I am present. I am Naomi Novak."

Dean had to stifle a full-on snarl. She spoke with such disdain and with an air of dismissiveness. It made Dean twitch in his khakis, wanting to slam a hand on the table to make all these asshole adults listen to Cas. Treat him like an adult. Listen to him. But he bit the inside of his lip and stood behind his boyfriend quietly.

The judge smiled warmly at Naomi, then panned her wide face to Cas. "I see everything is here, Mr. Novak and I read your affidavit. I understand you wish to leave the care of your parents because of religious differences and lifestyle choices. Does that sound about right?"

"Yes," Castiel answered hesitantly.

"Your honor, if I may," Bobby interrupted politely. "When Castiel arrived at my home, he had been kicked out of the house and was not allowed to enter. He was also cut off from his friend by Naomi Novak, not allowing him to even stay the night there, effectively forcing Cas onto the streets."

"Oh dear, oh dear," the judge tisked again. "And so he came to your home?"

"I came and picked him up," Bobby clarified.

"And you know Castiel how?" She asked.

"I met him many times when he was growin' up. His family vacationed where I live and work."

"And Castiel knew you so well from this?" The judge was getting a suspicious glint to her eye. Great. She probably thought he sounded like a child predator. 

"He is close to my son, Dean. My foster-son, Dean," Bobby corrected.

"Would that be you?" The judge looked at Gabe.

"No," Dean corrected quickly, "that would be me."

"Well, Mr Winchester, are you his current roommate at...Iowa State University?"

"Yes, ma'am," Dean answered.

"And Mr. Novak works?" The judge asked.

"Yes, ma'am. He has a job at the bookstore on campus."

"Mmhm," she nodded, unimpressed. "And I see you are there on a full scholarship. Housing included?"

"Yes, ma'am," Cas answered, fidgeting with the cuff of his shirt.

The judge smiled at him with an empty warmth that was confusing, then turned to Naomi. "Mrs. Novak, please share what is going on here with the court."

"My son, Castiel, has been influenced for years by Mr. Dean Winchester. A court case was filed three years ago but was not fulfilled due to Castiel's unwillingness to speak. He has been demoralized and heavily influenced by this boy and now they are living together. Castiel does not really want to be at Iowa State University. He had a scholarship to Norhwestern University and has thrown it away due to the influences of these people."

Dean was shaking with anger. Gabriel gave him a warning look to stay quiet.

"Your honor," Castiel spoke up, voice shaking slightly, "I am very happy at Iowa State University and am receiving a very good education there which will ensure a good career some day. Naomi has been unhappy with my choices since she found out my sexual preferences. Years of torturous 'counseling' have not changed me. Dean Winchester merely allows me to be who I want to be. I chose Iowa over Northwestern for my own personal reasons. I beg the court to move forward with this. I can not go back to her house. I can not endure any more 'counseling' sessions telling me how evil I am. I know I'm not an evil person. I just want to live my life without the constant hounding of Naomi trying to make me someone I am not."

His hands were shaking slightly, but his voice had gained strength as he spoke. Not anger, like Dean would have exploded into, but a strong, sure voice of reason. Dean was so proud of how he could handle himself.

The judge gave him a narrowed look.

"Your honor," Naomi cut in again, "he is clearly under the influence of-"

The judge held up a hand. "No decisions are made today other than does this warrant going to court. It obviously does." She shuffled some papers and wrote on one of the papers. "Your court date is October 10. Until then, Castiel is to remain at school and continue self support." She closed a book and gave the crowd a dismissive look.

Dean smiled tightly down at Cas and stepped back as he and Bobby stood. Gabe effectively blocked Naomi's death glares as the other three left quickly.

"Keep walkin'," Bobby said with a hand on both boys backs. "Don't even glance back." They walked through the shiny hallways, down the marble steps and out into the bright sunlight. Bobby continued propelling them to the truck where they got in.

"Where's Gabe?" Dean asked.

Bobby backed out of his parking spot and went in reverse back the row until he caught sight of Gabe cutting through some cars. He stopped, Gabe jumping in the passenger seat.

"That was fun," Gabe muttered.

"What happened?" Cas asked, leaning forward.

"Nothing, Cassie. I just stalled them. Kept them away from you both. And for the record," he held up a finger, "my dad was a total douchebag today, but I think he's cracking. Naomi's just pissed. She's picking on what's easy to tear apart. She's gonna try and make Bobby and Dean look really bad. And make Cas look weak and controlled by the two of you. Maybe even me. Who knows. But the court date is in two weeks, which is really fast as far as court dates go."

Bobby nodded, pulling onto the highway and heading back to Iowa. 

"Thank you, Gabriel," Cas said, slumping back into Dean's side, letting Dean wrap an arm around him. "You were wonderful."

"I have my moments," he smirked. 

Dean hugged Cas tight to him and looked out the window bitterly. Maybe Naomi was right. He was so beneath someone as amazing as Cas. Cas had so much going for him. Did he corrupt Cas years ago? Was he ruling him in some kind of way?

"Dean?" Cas whispered, pulling his thoughts to an abrupt stop.

"Yeah, Cas," he whispered back.

"I'm sorry for what she said. She's so angry. She hates me. Not you."

Dean wanted to look at those beautiful blue eyes and brush this all off. But stubbornly, he kept his eyes aimed out the truck window. "She doesn't hate you, Cas. She loves you. She's trying to protect you. From me."

"Dean," Cas said, sitting up and taking his hand. "She loves me about as much as she loves her house. Only I turned out to be a bad investment! She's just angry and hateful!" Cas yanked on Dean's hand. "Look at me, Dean!"

Dean snapped his head around, looking at Cas stubbornly.

"No, no," Cas deflated. "She's controlled everything, Dean! My life, my future, my head! She tries to dig into my own head! Change who I am! She can't have you too!" Tears streamed down his cheeks and Dean was shocked at the reaction.

"Pull over!" Cas barked. 

"Two seconds," Bobby said, finding a pull-off and slowing down dangerously to a stop on the shoulder of the highway.

Dean let go as Cas pulled away, yanking the door open and stepping out of the truck. He took two steps away and threw up, bending down and staggering to his knees. 

Dean tripped out of the back of the truck and knelt next to him, rubbing his hand down his back.

"Cas," Dean whispered, hearing Gabe approaching them both from the back. 

Cas' hands hit the gravel and he heaved again. "She's gonna chase everyone away. Make everyone want to leave me. That's what she did to any friends I ever made that she didn't like." He heaved again and Dean could feel himself shaking, breaking down. "She doesn't love me. She controls me."

Dean made a quick grab as Cas almost collapsed to the ground. He pulled him onto his lap. "Cas, she doesn't get to control you. Not anymore. Or me. I'm sorry!"

He kissed his temple, squeezing him tight. Cas fisted his hand in his shirt. "She's gonna take it all...everything. Everyone," Cas said brokenly.

Dean wanted to cave in and just collapse with him. He did slump. "No she's not."

Cas sighed raggedly and Dean could feel how fragile Cas really was. How in a second, he could be gone. The thought vibrated nauseously through his skull. Cas had to stay here. Dean had to get his shit together and fix this.

He pulled in a long breath, feeling it fill him. He sat up and moved Cas, pulling him out a bit. "Cas," he said firmly. "Cas," he grit his teeth and shook him slightly.

Cas' eyes focused on his and he looked at him with such loss that Dean hitched his breath. "I'm right here. Right here, damn it! I'm not going anywhere!" Dean squashed the thoughts he had earlier. The ones Cas could sniff out like a bloodhound. Never again would he let Naomi effect his thoughts. "She doesn't control me, Cas. She doesn't control you either. We beat her today. You hear me?" 

Dean was almost yelling and Cas' eyes blinked rapidly, watching Dean like he had never quite seen him before. 

"We beat her," Cas said weakly.

"No, Cas," Dean narrowed his green eyes. "Say it like you mean it. Like you believe it. We beat her today."

Cas nodded, his body firming, losing it's weak softness. He wiped his face off roughly and licked his dry lips. "We beat her today," Cas said with a strength that made Dean want to friggin' cry.

"Damn straight we did," he cajoled. "And we'll beat her ass again in two weeks."

"We will," Cas said, sitting up onto his own knees. "And you won't leave me?" He dropped into a pleading whisper.

"Where the hell would I go?" Dean grinned, needing him to see how much he meant it. "I'm kinda locked into my room contract at the moment."

Cas laughed a short sound that could have been a sob if not for the grin following it. He rubbed a hand down his face and blew a breath out. "I'm sorry, Dean. I just...I thought she got to you. I thought you might leave because she says hateful things."

"Cas," Dean cleared his throat, pulling on his own inner strength to come across stronger than he really felt, "I been chasin' your ass for years. I'm not going anywhere but wherever the hell you and I end up. You got that?"

"Yes," Cas nodded. He stood up, brushing his pants off, Dean doing the same.

He ran his hands through his hair, leaving it in it's more natural state, making Dean grin again.

"Sorry," Cas said quietly, looking around them for the first time as vehicles sped by, whipping wind across them both. It was loud. And dangerous. And Dean was slightly shocked that this was the first he even noticed it.

Gabe and Bobby leaned against the passenger door, watching the pair.

They stepped closer together. "Sorry," Cas said.

"Hell," Bobby grinned, "I'da puked on that weird-ass judges shoes."

Cas laughed, Dean shaking his head.

They loaded back into the truck and Bobby threw gravel ten feet, pulling back onto the highway at rocket speed.

Cas was sitting up on his own. His face stoic, but strong. Better than what he had seen along the road. Dean never wanted to see Cas so defeated again. If that meant telling himself that he deserved Cas, that the pair were indestructible, then that's what he'd tell himself. He'd say it until he believed it himself. 

**********************************

The next two weeks went by in a blur of reading assignments, note taking, essay writing, and when Charlie was around, making plans for the future. The very near future where they intended to open a web business to sell pins. Yeah, it might sound lame, Dean absolutely thought it did. The idea came about when Dean came up behind Cas at the food court and slapped a 'Save 70%' sticker on his chest. Cas grinned immediately and pulled the sticker off to read the back. He blushed and stuck it back to his shirt, winking at Dean.

Somehow, in that small and everyday exchange, Charlie came up with the pin idea. Funny phrases, nerd phrases, catchy phrases, and original, customer created phrases. It turned out that Dean and Cas were artistic enough to create most anything they thought of. For more complicated designs, they might be able to pay some art students. The plans were new and exciting. They kept everything under tight wraps so no one else could steal their idea. 

Charlie and her elusive friend Ash were creating the website. Cas was looking into marketing and business law associated with such an undertaking. Gabe had volunteered to buy the equipment they would need for making the pins. Dean wrote down every catch phrase and smart-ass remark he could think of, making a collection. 

It was hard to concentrate on schoolwork with the planning and prepping for their own business. But Dean knew keeping Cas busy kept his mind from worrying about Naomi or the court date looming. Busy and focused, Cas' eyes sparkled with purpose and excitement.

*********************

October was settling in chilly and damp. It made all of them want to stay huddled up indoors. Cas kept stealing Dean's leather coat because he didn't own a coat of his own. Dean did not care. He liked Cas in his jacket. But today, it was getting to be too much. They were all together for this trip to Illinois. Bobby drove, Charlie up front by his side with Sam in the middle. Dean, Cas, and Gabe crowded the back seat. They told Bobby about their business plan. He asked a lot of good questions that made them pay attention to some details they had missed.  
The closer they got to Cas' hometown of Pontiac, Illinois, the closer Cas got to Dean. They stopped an hour and a half before they were due in court to eat lunch at a pizzeria. 

Dean shivered as they got out of the car and headed into the tiny pizza shop. Cas stood up before the pizza came to the table. "I'll be right back," he assured, walking out of the shop, Charlie in tow.

On his second slice of pizza, Dean looked up to see Cas walk into the pizzeria wearing a trench coat. Hair thick and gorgeous, eyes electric blue, white button down, black dress pants, sensible black shoes, tie flipped and loosened, and now...now he had added a tan trench coat. 

"What's up with the coat?" Dean asked.

"I needed a coat. I can't keep stealing yours. There's a thrift shop next door and I figured I would find something. This looks good, right?"

"You look like a tax accountant," Gabe laughed.

"He looks bad-ass!" Charlie defended, smacking Gabe's shoulder.

"You look like Columbo!" Sam laughed.

"You look fucking hot," Dean grinned.

"No, it's not that thick," Cas lifted the lapel.

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed.

"There's a great joke there ," Gabriel mused, "but I'm just too hungry to work it out." He shoved pizza in his mouth. Sam just rolled his eyes and Bobby pretended he was somewhere else for a moment. 

After eating their fill, they headed for the courthouse. They had prepared themselves a bit better this time, and they met their lawyer there. Bobby refused Castiel enter that courthouse again without a lawyer by his side.

"Bobby!" A tall man jogged up the wide marble stairs in front of the old building. He was thin and tall with dark skin and close cut hair.

"Rufus," Bobby grinned, shaking his hand warmly.

"Castiel?" He asked, looking at the small crowd of teens. Cas lifted a hand then shook Rufus'. "Good ta meet ya kid. Damn, Bobby! How many kids you fostering or raising or whatever?!"

"Rufus," Bobby said as a warning, "this is Charlie, Sam and Dean. You met Cas. And this is Cas' cousin, Gabriel."

"Uh-huh," Rufus snapped quickly. "You got a whole damn herd, Singer! I don't know what you all see in this burly old bastard, but glad you found somebody to keep you outta trouble!"

Bobby smirked and Rufus laughed, slapping him on the back.

"Here comes Aunt Naomi and my dad. Zachariah Milton of Milton Law Offices," Gabe cut in, looking past Rufus.

Rufus zeroed in on Cas instantly. "You stay next to me at all times unless I'm approaching the bench. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Cas nodded.

"You say nothing unless I give you a nod. Nothing. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Where's the boyfriend?" Rufus scanned the kids.

"Right here," Dean scowled.

"Don't scowl at me, boy," Rufus frowned.

Dean raised his hands in surrender. If Bobby trusted him, he had to be alright.

"Now, you stay by his side, no matter what. And no death glares to the mom. Got it?"

Dean's jaw just didn't want to open.

"Got it?" Rufus asked, stepping closer. "This isn't about your ego, son. This is about this young man getting his freedom." 

Dean backed down immediately. "I got it. Stand there like a robot."

"No, no. Not like a robot. Like a supportive boyfriend. Like you care."

"I do care!" Dean snapped.

"And you," Rufus said, eyes jumping to Sam. "You stay close too. Big brother vibe. Got it?"

"Yeah. Sure," Sam grinned.

"Good." He straightened his jacket and waved for all of them to follow. 

 

The judge from before was sitting at a raised desk, looking down on her kingdom in judgement. She morphed from someone's granny to ruler of her kingdom quick enough to give them whiplash. 

"Novak vs. Novak Emancipation," the secretary read out loud.

Dean took Cas' coat for him, holding it in his lap as they sat.

People spoke in turn, following procedure. It was like watching a crime show, but only the boring parts. Sam, on the other hand, looked like he was on a field trip. Friggin' nerd.

Naomi was not as fired up this time. She flipped her plan   
of attack midway through, going for sympathy. It was the only time Cas looked at her.

"Castiel, I just want you to come home. We can talk things through."

Cas gave her a disbelieving look. He and Rufus exchanged a quick glance.

The judge gave her a sympathetic smile, but Rufus quickly stepped in with a rebuttal. Heaped on the facts of self support through his scholarship, his steady job, managing money, and Bobby's support when not in school. 

Dean heard a commotion at the back of the room and turned to see a man rushing in through the door, looking nervous and timid.

"Order," the judge called, the man approaching the gate that separated the spectators from those at those in the trial.

"Pardon the interruption," Chuck said.

Dean turned to see Cas sitting there with wide eyes and his face paling.

"I'm Castiel's father. I would like to address the court."

Rufus turned a confused face at Cas who promptly shrugged, his shock evident. Naomi and Zachariah were whispering rapidly.

"Mrs Novak, Mr. Turner, Mr. Novak, approach the bench."

Rufus, Chuck, and Naomi approached the bench. Rufus stood back watching for the most part as Naomi and Chuck argued quietly, the judge listening.

The judge made an exasperated face and shooed them all away.

"Make your statement, Mr. Novak, then be seated."

Chuck cleared his throat, glancing back at Cas, then back to the judge. "Castiel was adopted by my ex-wife and I when he was very young. Cas is and always will be the best thing I've ever done in my life. He needed a home and we gave him one. That is until we learned he was gay. Then Naomi turned our home into a prison. Worse, a brainwashing camp. I didn't argue enough and I did not fight hard enough for him. I left. I left him. I have not seen him in years and legally have no say in his rights, but as a character witness, I would like to say that he deserves to live however he wants to. He deserves to be an adult on his own." Chuck turned a hesitant smile on Cas. "I love you, son. I know I'm late, but I'll help you get out of this mess."

"I object!" Naomi called.

"Overruled," the judge said blandly, making Naomi snap her jaw shut.

Chuck went to sit down in the back of the room, Cas following him with his eyes.

"Any further statements?" The judge called.

Naomi took up another twenty minutes with statistics and research facts to encourage Cas be placed back into her care. The judge nodded along and it seemed like every nod made Dean a shade more nauseous.

The judge was listening to every word, nodding and smiling until Naomi sat down with a grin like a shark.  
Cas would turn 18 in 6 months. Too freakin' long.   
The judge reviewed her notes a moment and called Castiel to stand.

Dean clenched the coat in his hands. The judge talked and it all sounded like garbled mush. 

He saw Cas' head lift with the drop of his jaw. He heard the word 'granted' and everyone around him got excited.

Dean felt numb. He was having difficulty registering anything. Cas looked the same way. Shellshocked.

"You did it, Cas!" Charlie cheered, hugging him over the half wall separating them.

Cas turned a startled look on Dean and he snapped back into reality. "I did it."

"Yes, you did!" Dean cheered, hugging Cas, climbing over the wall and kissing him once on the mouth. "You did it! I knew you could!"

He took a step back, Bobby hugging him next. "Congratulations, Cas!"

"Thank you, Bobby. I couldn't have done it without you."  
He shook Rufus' hand and Dean headed to the back of the room quickly, catching Chuck before he made his escape.

"Chuck! Come on, man! Stay. You gotta talk to Cas. Please."

Chuck looked toward the exit but walked back with Dean to speak with Cas.

Naomi and Zachariah were sitting at the other table quietly watching the celebration.

They went to a nearby restaurant and Cas and Chuck sat at a small table, talking for a long time. Dean felt relieved. The entire group felt lighter. Rufus seemed not surprised, but enjoyed the win all the same.

"That judge was some piece of work," Bobby said, eating some fries.

"Did some digging to prepare for the case," Rufus said quickly, his dark eyes lighting up. "She is no fan of Christianity. She just let Naomi walk right into that one."

"Is she Jewish? Or Atheist?" Dean asked, curious.

"No idea. But she shut down some manger scene event. I knew Cas had this one if Naomi went for the holier-than-thou approach."

"Good job, Turner," Bobby grinned.

"Hey, Naomi made it easy. Chuck was a surprise though."

"Yeah. To Cas too," Dean added, watching Cas and Chuck stand and say goodbye. 

Chuck waved at everyone and vanished out the door. Cas sat on the edge of the booth seat next to Dean, laying his head on his shoulder. "I'm an adult."

"Yes you are," Dean laughed. "An independent man."

Cas laughed softly. "Take me home. I'm exhausted."

Dean grinned at that and kissed Cas on the cheek. Home. Their home. Their four walls with a bed. It might as well be a mansion, it was so good.


	9. 1999

Chapter 9. 1999

Warnings- Someone is going to deal with the death of a parent. Oh, and this chapter is short.

The line up!  
Gabe - 21  
Dean - 20  
Charlie -20  
Cas - 19  
Sam - 16

 

It's been two years since Cas won his independence. Is everyone still at Iowa State? The answer to that is- no. So, who is our drop-out? Oh, and this one starts off with some smut. 

 

Third week of October, 1998

Dean woke in a hazy, slow ease. He was face down on the mattress, naked, and warm. He could feel Cas' hand tracing the Enochian tattoo down his neck and back. He could feel Cas' elegant hand draw the daisy that was there. It always made him grin when he did this. Cas started at the top again, pressing closer than he had been before. 

"I know you're awake," Cas growled low in his ear.

"I'm sleeping," Dean grinned, keeping his eyes shut.

"Oh," Cas mocked. He slid fully on top of Dean, making him huff out a laugh.

"It's cute when you laugh in your sleep, like that."

Dean could feel Cas' stiffening dick nudging him. He heard the pop of a lube container and spread his legs in anticipation. 

Cas redrew the tattoo slowly with his tongue. By now, Dean was pushing against him with his hips and when he was done with the daisy, he tried to flip over, but Cas wasn't having it this morning. He pressed Dean back down into the mattress and bit his neck along the side, making Dean buck up and moan. "Always knew you were a biter," Dean huffed.

"Mmm," was about the only words he was getting out of Cas. His mouth was too busy distracting Dean with bites and kisses while he was slowly stretched open. 

"Come on, Cas," Dean whined, pressing up. He wanted Cas and his lips burned to kiss him.

He could feel Cas pull out and coat himself and then there he was, pressing and sliding inside. Dean canted his hips up and breathed out, Cas so tight along his back that his chin was next to his ear. 

"I wanna kiss you," Dean panted as Cas began to move.

"I want you just like this," Cas panted back, biting and sucking his neck and changing angles. Dean was quickly lost in a frenzy of lust and want. 

"Faster, Cas," Dean shook under his boyfriend with want.

"Stop rushing me," Cas growled, keeping his slow, thunderous pace. "I'll do this just how I want to and you'll love it," he growled a low rumble that may have caused Dean to whimper. But Cas continued slow and hard, driving Dean slowly insane.

"Cas," Dean cried out.

"Are you ready for more?" Cas huffed, speeding his pace a tiny bit.

"Yes! Fuck! You're making me crazy," Dean panted. He wanted more, faster, harder, and now. And he wanted Cas' mouth on his. He was shaking and needy in a way only Cas could create.

Cas withdrew completely, making Dean cry out. Before he could even whine, Cas had him flipped over and was back inside of him.

"That's what I wanted," Dean whispered, Cas' mouth finally closing over his. They kissed until Cas pulled back.

"I always give you what you want, Dean," he grinned, leaned back down to kiss him and sped things up. 

"Harder," Dean whispered.

Cas went up onto his hands, pounding into Dean with want.

He reached down, stroking Dean in rhythm with his hips and Dean arched and came. It would have been louder, but Cas muffled him with an onslaught of kisses. When all Dean could do was pant, Cas went onto his hands again and in three hard strokes, came. He collapsed after riding out multiple waves of ecstasy. Dean watched as his face ran through the gamut of need, bliss, and satisfaction. 

Cas' eyes opened slowly, looking down at Dean. "Morning." He grinned wicked and mischievous.

Dean laughed. "Morning."

Cas pulled away, cleaning them both up and then dropping into Dean's arms to sleep the rest of the morning away. It was Saturday. Their mandated day to sleep in.

He slid his hand along Cas' body, just relishing the feel.

 

It was their Junior year. They were living off campus in a house. When Ash got expelled for some shady computer digging he had done, they all decided to leave the dorms. The little internet company Charlie had thought up had blown up into a business they were barely managing to hold together. They had more demand than they could keep up with. 

The house they bought (because it was cheaper than renting one and could be written off partially for business cost) was a large old house near campus. The main floor was the huge kitchen with a big table they ate at when they could. Gabe loved it. He and his culinary friends would practice and leave the fridge full of food. The dining room, living room and study were all full of Foster Pins, Inc. merchandise, manufacturing, shipping, and their office. The name had come about because they had all been foster kids at one point (except Gabe) and the pins fostered an opportunity to be self sustaining. They all needed that. They had to hire people close to Christmas to keep up with manufacturing. It just grew and grew like a wild fire. They had been interviewed and were featured in multiple newspapers and magazines for their entrepreneurial feat of wonder. It was all just so easy. 

Their first year, they had caught on pretty quickly on the internet, which baffled Gabe and Dean both. Then Cas began marketing. And just like that, they were receiving orders by the hundreds from record stores. 

Their second year, still living in the dorm, a chain store signed a contract with them and they all damn near flunked that semester from keeping up with orders. It was insane. They had the cart before the horse. Over Christmas break, they bought the house and moved the business there and quickly redoubled their orders. They all lived there now as well. Dean and Cas shared a large bedroom downstairs that was meant to be a family room. 

They had a laundry room and bathroom and Ash had a small bedroom down there as well. The main floor was all business and eating. The second floor was Charlie's room, Gabe's room, and Dorothy's room. Garth's room was on the third floor. Those two had been hired on over the summer. Dorothy was their permanent artist and graphic designer. Garth was manual labor and house cleaning. Yeah, they could afford a maid. They all had cars and no one was stressed about paying off their college debt. They needed a bigger operation site at this point and were in serious talks about buying a warehouse. 

The drawback to having a successful business while you were in college, was that they all had the equivalent of three full time jobs. It was brutal to say the least. 

Gabe had dropped out earlier this year. He said he didn't need to finish his degree, he already had a career. They had all thought about it, but stayed the hectic course. After all, Cas frequently reminded them, what they were riding was a phase. Things moved in and out of popularity at lightening speed. They could have no business in three months. So, they ran it cheap and worked like dogs. 

Between their scholarships and paying off school, they were looking at ending college with their business profits hitting 2 million dollars if they kept going the way they were. Cas and Charlie's professors were beside themselves with pride and had them guest speak, which was just bizarre. They were the face of the company. And the brains. Dean's phrases were what sold like hot cakes. And now that Gabe was working Foster Pins full time, things were getting smoother. The secret to their success was timing, luck, and a group mentality that never broke. 

The original five, Charlie, Dean, Cas, Gabe, and Ash, continued to pull their part and the money just grew and grew. 

 

"I hope Gabe has breakfast going. I love Saturday morning breakfast," Dean yawned. He kissed Cas again and left him buried in the heap of covers on their bed. Cas could sleep like he stored it up. He barely slept all week long. Then Saturdays and Sundays he stored up sleep like a camel storing up on water. And Dean just wanted him to rest. They were in the back side of this college thing, but it sure was a bitch.

He slid out of bed and showered, heading upstairs in jeans and a Foster Pins t-shirt. He could smell sugary goodness and coffee before he got to the top step.

"Gabe!" Dean called, heading through the path that led through what used to be a dining room.

"Yeah, babe!" Gabe called back.

"Smells good!" Dean sniffed the air again, sitting at the table and Gabe bringing him a cup of coffee and a twisted mess of a pastry. "What's this?"

"Monkey bread. My style."

Dean pulled off a bite and closed his eyes as he chewed. 

"My God, Gabe, this is...so good."

Gabe nodded with a grin and put the recipe in his box labeled 'Sellable Shit'. He had two other boxes, one labeled 'Fix This Shit' and one labeled 'My shit'.

"Please tell me you made this in mass quantities?" Dean asked, shoving the last bite in his mouth.

"I did, Dean-O! I got three pans."

Gabe took his plate and before Dean was done swallowing coffee, his plate was refilled and sat in front of him. "Gabe, will you marry me?" Dean asked.

"Oh, I would Dean, but Cas might kill me. And I don't like it when he gets angry. His eyes start sparking lightening bolts-"

"You love getting him all riled up, don't even lie!" Dean laughed.

Gabe shrugged and sat down. "I made breakfast burritos too. If you got room."

"You kidding? I wait all week long for Saturday morning!"

Gabe grinned proudly and got up to get him two burritos.

"Charlie eat yet?" Dean asked.

"She hasn't surfaced yet. Dorothy ate and is gone already. And here comes smiley."

"Morning, fellas!" Garth grinned.

"Morning, Garth!" Gabe said, jumping up.

"Stop," Garth said, putting his hands on his hips. "I have told you that you do not need to wait on me! I can get my own coffee!"

"Sit down," Gabe rolled his eyes.

"I swear, you are spoiling me rotten!" Garth smiled, shaking his head. "How will I ever survive out in the world without you?"

"Hey," Dean sat his mug down. "Gabe is MY bitch. Don't get attached.

"Oh, I don't think so," Garth laughed, "I think he's mine!"

"Listen up, bitches," Gabe said, sitting coffee and monkey bread down for Garth and more coffee for Dean, "I'm neither of your bitch. I mean...I'm nobody's bitch."

Cas emerged in the doorway with his bedhead, t-shirt and pajama pants. He cleared his throat, wondering at the odd conversation he had walked in on. 

Gabe made a small sound at the back of his throat. "I hate myself for wanting to get you coffee now!"

Cas gave them all a wary look. He sat down at the table and looked at Gabe.

"Son of a bitch," Gabe muttered, getting him coffee and monkey bread.

"Thank you, Gabriel," Cas grinned.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Will you marry me, Gabe?" Cas asked, finishing a long swallow of coffee. Dean just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Again," Dean said firmly, "he's MY bitch. Go find your own."

Cas grinned, his eyes twinkling with orneriness.

"Don't even say it," Dean warned.

"You can have Gabriel. I already found my bitch," Cas grinned.

Dean blushed and rolled his eyes.

"Ew," Gabe said shortly, "And no, I'm just building my fan base. You guys are MY bitches. You just don't know it yet."

They laughed, Dean so full he could explode. "Gabe, whatever you are, I love you. Thank you for breakfast."

"Aw," Gabe grinned. "You're welcome." 

Charlie walked into the kitchen several moments later. "Morning, bitches."

They all burst out laughing and she looked at them like they were nuts.

She sat down next to Cas and slumped over on his shoulder. "I have so much homework. And I think our next hire should be for that."

"A homework assistant," Cas grinned. "I'm in. It'll be worth every penny."

"Nice try," Dean grinned. "Not happening. Besides, who could handle all our classes?"

"Just quit," Gabe grinned.

"Shut up, Gabe," they all yelled back.

"You know you wanna be like me! Be a drop-out! It's so cool!"

"You are a menace," Dean laughed, standing up and washing his dishes. 

"I gotta write three papers today," Charlie whined, slumping onto the table. "The sad part is, I actually want to write them, I just need brain power to get it done."

Cas reached over, stroking her hair. "I already did one for Professor Mitchel. But I haven't even started the one for Professor Tran."

"Me either," Charlie moaned, sitting up again.

Gabe brought her a plate of monkey bread and a glass of milk. Charlie did not do coffee. If she did, she was more wound up than normal.

"Thanks, Gabe."

"Any Saturday," Gabe grinned. It was the only day he consistently cooked. Any other day of the week it was random. Some weeks they lived on lasagna. Other weeks they ate every kind of cheesecake you could think of. Cas was the only one that liked the week of kale. Everyone else bitched until he made them all burgers. But Saturday morning breakfast was always delicious.

The house phone rang and Dean answered it. "Hello?"

"This is the head nurse at Middleton Nursing Home, is there a Charlie Bradbury there?"

Dean's stomach plummeted. "Y-yes. One minute." He lowered his hand slowly, looking at the sleepy group at the table. He did not want to ruin Charlie's day. But he had to.

"Charlie," he said quietly. She stopped talking about the paper she was going to start, her and Cas both looking at him.

"It's Middleton."  
She stood up slowly, blinking and furrowing her brow. They had only called once before. That was to increase a medication.

She took the phone. "Hello? This is Charlie."

"Yes."

"Oh."

Her eyes started to get red around the rims and her chin started shaking.

"Oh."

The kitchen got quiet. 

"Okay. Yes, I can."

"I will."

Charlie hung up the phone and just stood there. "My mom-" her voice broke and tears started streaking her cheeks.

Dean snagged her hand, stopping her from leaving.

"I have to...I gotta go. Mom is not doing good."

"Okay," Dean sighed, putting an arm around her. "Do we need to go?"

"Yeah."

"Cas," Dean snapped into action. "Pack me a bag, would ya? We gotta go."

Cas stood up, but Dean ushered Charlie out of the kitchen and up the stairs before any more could be said.

 

"I'll drive," Dean said, watching her put socks and shoes on.

"Okay."

She turned to leave but Dean blocked her door. She was not looking at him and he knew putting her in a car with him behind the wheel was a bad idea.

"Charlie," Dean said low.

She shook her head no.

"Are they gonna make me decide if my mom...if Mom... I can't just pull the plug on her! I don't know what to do!"

Dean saw the shake of her shoulders and stepped forward, hugging her to him. 

"I can't do that."

Dean held her while she slumped against him.  
"I can't!"

"I'll be right there with you. The whole time. I promise. Bobby too."

The heart-wrenching cry that came from her made Dean weak in the knees. It was so unfair. So hard. He wanted to take it away from her and couldn't.

She shook, quaking with tears that had been worried over since the accident years ago.

"Charlie," Dean soothed. "Did they say that?"

"No, but...I just know."

A chill ran down Dean's insides. He nodded, pulling out a bag and putting clothes in it. "I'll be there the whole time," he repeated, moving on to the bathroom. She followed him answering yes or no to what to bring but was incapable of any further thought. 

He grabbed a full box of tissues off the counter in the bathroom and headed down the steps. 

Cas came up the steps a few minutes later. Gabe came flying down the steps with a bag and a worried frown.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"Going home," Gabe blurted, then stopped in his tracks. "I mean, going to Bobby's. To Middleton."

Cas slung two bags on his shoulders, giving Dean a look to not argue. 

"Right," he said quietly. This was a family thing. It made sense that they all went.

"I'll hold down the fort," Garth said, hugging Charlie and watching them leave.

Cas and Gabe sat up front in Cas' car, Dean and Charlie taking the back seat.

It was a long three hours, but Cas was speeding so much he cut an hour off the trip. 

The closer they got to Middleton, the closer Charlie got to Dean. He felt like he should be saying something helpful. Something to make her feel better. Something. Anything! But what the hell could he say? So he just held her hand when it laid on the seat. Put his arm around her when she moved closer. 

She looked lost. And Dean felt just as lost.

Cas pulled into the building's parking lot, stopping at the front door. "We'll be in soon," Cas said.

 

Dean held Charlie's hand tight in his as they walked into the building. The familiar scents and sounds greeted them. They took the route to Trudy's room and were both enveloped in hugs by Bobby and Sam.

Charlie quickly went to her mom's side, taking her familiar spot beside the bed.

"Mom?" Charlie said in a wobbly voice. 

She spoke softly, tears running down her cheeks. Dean squished into the seat with her, like he always did. 

"Hey, Trudy," he greeted, like he always did.

"You want some privacy?" Bobby asked quietly.

Charlie shook her head no, fear evident in her eyes. She told her mom how their sales profits continued to increase. How she got a B on a business proposal project, which was total bull crap from the professor.

Cas and Gabe joined them, taking seats at the bottom of the bed. 

Dean watched as the rise and fall of Trudy's chest was barely noticeable. She was so weak.

"Hey," Dean prodded Charlie. "Tell your mom and everybody about your new crush."

"Dean!" Charlie whacked him, looking scandalized.

"What? Tell 'em!" He laughed.

"So," she started, telling them about Dorothy, the new graphic designer they hired and moved into the house. Her and Charlie had 'a moment' while watching The Wizard of Oz. Apparently the flying monkeys drove Charlie right into Dorothy's brave embrace. She shrugged at the end, Cas and Gabe teasing her a little and Bobby just grinning.

"Mom," Charlie blushed, "you would love her. She is so out-going and makes me get outdoors so I'm not always in front of a computer."

They quieted, sitting and just being there for Charlie and for Trudy Bradbury. Time ticked by and they occasionally told stories, mostly about Charlie. Then they lulled back into quiet.

"Dean?" Charlie said in a tiny, frail voice. His eyes immediately went to Trudy's chest. Nothing moved.

Charlie's eyes widened and she pulled back into him. They sat a moment, all eyes falling on the red-haired woman laying there. Bobby pushed his way closer to the bed, taking her pulse. "Aw, Trudy..." he whispered.

Charlie and Dean stood and Bobby looked up. "I'm sorry, honey. She's gone."

Charlie stifled a sob, feeling for herself as nurses came in to assess the flatlining monitor that connected at the desk.

The nurses listened and talked in soft whispers until Dr. Piccolo came in. She listened as well. She straightened up, looking at Charlie. "I'm sorry, Ms. Bradbury. She has passed away."

Charlie sank instantly, Dean barely able to catch her, but he did, holding her close. 

"She's..."

Cas was taking Sam out in the hall, Gabe following. Bobby was beside them now while the nurses and the doctor triple checked everything.

"Take as long as you need," Dr. Piccolo said to them.

It was enough to make Dean shake. Charlie was curling into a ball on his lap and Bobby was looking slightly lost.   
"She was the best mom any of us had," Dean said, unable to look away from her red hair and pale, white face. "She used to call me James Dean."

Charlie choked out a laugh. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. James Dean, Cassie blue-eyes, Sam-I-Am, and Gabby. She always nicknamed people."

Dean helped Charlie unfold from his lap and stood next to her. 

He reached down, tucking hair behind her ear gently. "I'll take good care of Charlie, I promise."

Charlie took her mom's hand and kissed the palm, like she always did. "A kiss for the road," she whispered. It was something they had done since Charlie was small. "I love you, Mom."

She turned into Dean's chest, sobbing like she had been storing it up for so long. And Dean knew she had been. He sat back down, just holding her and letting her cry.  
Bobby said his goodbyes and the nurses kept their distance, giving them privacy to grieve. 

They sat there for a long time. Bobby told her it was okay to leave. Cas came in later to say the same thing. She would nod but made no move to get up.

"I don't know how to leave," Charlie whispered late into the night.

Dean stood up, forcing her to stand up as well. "It's time to go," he said gently. 

She hesitated, but came with him. They emerged into the bright hallway and saw Bobby, Cas, Sam, and Gabe sleeping on couches in a lounge two doors down. 

"Aw," Charlie said, tearing up again. They woke them up and all headed silently out to their cars. Sam was overdue and in need of hugs from both Charlie and Dean, sitting between them on the way back to Bobby's. Cas drove and Gabe rode with Bobby. 

The next few days were a blur of very adult meetings about wills and funeral arrangements. Family friends came to give their condolences. Staff from Middleton Nursing Home came for support. 

And a chapter in Charlie's life was closed. She was officially parentless. It was relieving that her mom did not have to linger or suffer any longer, but she was missed. It left a hole for Charlie and Dean.

"We need to start a family night," Sam suggested.

"That is a good idea, shortstack," Gabe said.

"You better look again, Gabe," Dean laughed. "Sam's growing like a friggin' weed!"

"No," Gabe laughed, standing up and making Sam stand in front of him. Sam and Gabe stood eye to eye. "Holy shit! When did that happen?"

"You guys have been busy," Sam laughed. "You better go back to calling me Samsquatch and I'll call you shortstack."

"What the hell is happening?" Gabe laughed. "Sam's tall? I'm short? Bobby's old?"

"Say again?" Bobby snapped quickly.

"What?" Gabe asked innocently, dodging Bobby's smack.

"I think it sounds like a great idea!" Cas said, Sam grinning at him. "One Sunday a month, if not every Sunday."

"Let's do it," Charlie grinned.

 

After a long and emotionally draining week, the four returned to Iowa State. Garth greeted them at the door with an easy grin. He and Ash had come to the funeral, but returned immediately to continue running the business.

While manufacturing was being managed easily, Dean's email, Cas' email, and Charlie's email, required immediate attention. The funeral had come at the height of Christmas stocking for their bigger customers. 

"Holy shit," Cas grinned from his computer in the study. 

Dean and Gabe came over.

"Record-Rama sent an offering bid."

This was the biggest chain store they had dealt with.   
Charlie joined the group, looking over Cas' shoulder.

"Un-freakin'-believable!" She whispered. "We gotta read through this offer with a fine-tooth comb."

 

The next day began with an emergency board meeting. The numbers were staggering. The amount of production was going to multiply by 6. They needed a fourth printing machine. The amount they stood to make by the deal with Record-Rama blew their projections out of the water. They were going to make half a million dollars on this deal alone. The problem now was- how did they pass their classes? They would have to do the minimum amount of work necessary to pass classes while their business ate them alive.

Cas needed to close the deal. Gabe was to hire three people to pick up hours. Ash needed to go pick up their new printing machine so the shipping of it wouldn't delay them a single day more than necessary. 

Charlie, Cas, and Dean needed to get as many papers written now as they could.

Business was booming so loud they would all be deaf by Christmas.


	10. 2002

Chapter 10. 2002

It's been three years since our last peek into the lives of our boys. Did they graduate? What are they doing now?  
This is my final chapter for this fic. The 11th is an epilogue. I hope you enjoyed seeing these guys grow up! It has been so fun following them from the first time they all met until now.

The Final Line Up:  
Gabe - 24  
Dean - 23  
Charlie - 23  
Cas - 22  
Sam - 19

Third week of November, 2002  
Dean turned the music down as the trees began to get thicker. His window was down and the smell of lake water and trees filled the car. For Fall, it was warm with just hints of autumn. The smell of wood burning in fireplaces was slightly different than the smell of charcoal grills. It smelled like home. 

The trees began to thin and he could see the lake. It was clearer than it had been when Dean was little. 

Sam sat next to him in the passenger seat of the Impala. His baby was in mint condition and shined to a high gloss. It was Thanksgiving break and it was good to get everyone together. 

"So, what's happening on the dating scene?" Dean asked, pulling himself out of his thoughts and rolling the window up.

"Nothing," Sam said, watching the lake come into view. "I was actually feeling pretty homesick."

"Yeah?" Dean nodded. He could remember feeling that way. College was weird like that. So glad to be on your own one minute, missing home the next. 

"Bobby sure misses you," Dean said, glancing over at his brother. Sam was so tall. Dean was SURE he was going to be the tallest out of all of them at 6'2". He was taller than Gabe, who was the shortest of the guys at 5'10". Cas was 6'. But last Dean checked, Sam was a ridiculous 6'4".

"I miss him too. All of you. I can't even remember the last time I saw Gabe. I think it was last Christmas."

"Yeah. He just wanted some professional experience working in a restaurant. I guess he took a liking to New York."

"I know," Sam nodded. "We email a lot."

"So you have heard about this guy he wants to open a restaurant with? Kevin?"

"Yes. I hear about him all the time," Sam sighed. "He's young."

"Yeah. His mom freaked out that he didn't go to college. Apparently he was in every AP class there is, plays the cello, and then he freaked out his senior year. Bailed on the SAT's and barely passed. I think she burned him out. But he's cool."

Sam nodded. "He's here, right?"

"Gabe? Oh yeah. The gang is all here. In fact, Jody and Donna are coming for Thanksgiving now too."

"Really?" Sam grinned. "Jody and Ellen are both coming? There might be a shoot out! You know they both like Bobby, right?"

Dean laughed. "There's not much chance for Jody at this point. Him and Ellen spend most of their off time together."

Sam laughed. "Good for Bobby! Both ladies are awesome, but Jo and I used to do all kinds of shit to get Bobby and Ellen to spend time together."

"I remember," Dean laughed. "You told us about the time you took the jet ski out, making them chase the pair of you until you ran out of gas."

Sam burst out laughing. "Oh yeah! They were so mad! I actually got grounded over that one! But Bobby and Ellen ended up spending hours together in that little boat! All it had was a trolling motor so it just went so slow. Oh...he was so mad."

"I can't believe that man was ever mad at you." Dean scoffed, turning down Bobby's driveway.

"Yeah right," Sam whacked his shoulder. "How bout when you and I would get into it and he'd start yelling?"

"Boys!" They both yelled, like Bobby used to, laughing.

Dean put his baby in park and they got out. Sam grabbed his duffel bags.

They went inside, finding Bobby sitting in the living room with Cas.

"Sam!" They both jumped up. 

Dean could swear Bobby almost cried. 

Cas was up on his feet as well. Dean stepped over, kissing him and stepping out of the way as Sam jumped in, hugging Cas. "Man, I miss you!"

"I miss you too, Sam!" Cas laughed, being pulled off his feet. "How's school?"

"It's fine," Sam said, letting him go with a second hug.

"Our Sammy's a bit homesick," Dean announced, getting a bitchface from Sam.

"Aw," Bobby said, picking up one of the duffel bags and putting an arm around Sam. "It's my sunny personality, ain't it?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah, definitely."

Cas was sitting on the couch watching Dean. When Dean caught his eye, his chest filled with that warm feeling Cas could induce at any time. He sat down, Cas closing one arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. "Missed you," his voice rumbled low.

"Yeah?" Dean smirked. All he had done was go to pick up Sam at the airport. "Then maybe I won't go to bed alone tonight."

Cas pulled him in tighter, laughing. "Are you whining? Because I had to work late two nights this week?"

"Yes."

"Dean Winchester. I wake up alone half the time. You and your early mornings!"

"You're right," Dean grinned up at him, kissing him chastely. "I'm gonna stop all this work stuff and just stay in bed forever."

"I can work from bed," Cas teased.

"You will do no such thing, the only person you are working for in bed is me!"

Cas laughed at that. A rich sound that made Dean tingle still today.

Bobby and Sam came back in the living room, Sam telling him about some of his friends in a poli-sci class. 

"Sounds like things are going well, Sam," Bobby said, sitting down.

"Yeah. It was easier getting into the swing of things since this is my second year."

Dean could hear a note of hesitancy in Sam's voice. He had been so lucky to go to college with his family and friends. He missed Sam and Bobby, but it was nothing compared to what Sam left. He was alone in California. His scholarships were paying his way. But four years was a long, long time.

This was his first trip home for his sophomore year. He'd go back for one more month and then winter break would be several weeks long. "Sam, you don't have to go back when this semester's over."

"Are you kidding?" Sam scowled. "I would lose my scholarships. No way."

"Who cares? I'll pay for it, Sam!" Dean offered for at least the tenth time. 

"No," Sam said stubbornly. "I'm doing this my way. Besides, I told you, if you want to help, you can help me with grad school. Or housing later."

"I'm saying," Dean sat forward, feeling Cas rub his back to assuage his growing anxiety, "I'll pay for all of it, Sammy. Or you can work here."

Sam sighed. "I'm not becoming your assistant, Dean. It was fun last summer, don't get me wrong. And I look forward to doing it again this summer! But no. But I promise I will move back here and open a law office in town. I want to be right where I am, Dean, I just...miss you guys. A lot."

"We miss you, too," Cas said, Dean nodding.

"So, how is the fall season going?" Sam asked, obviously eager to get the focus off of him.

"Great," Cas nodded. "Fully booked cabins until two weeks ago. And we are currently 50% full now, which is very good for a holiday."

"That's great!" Sam nodded.

When Dean, Cas, and Charlie graduated in May of 2001, they had aggressive business plans. They sold Foster Pins, Inc. to Ash. He fully ran it from the basement of The Roadhouse. He and Ellen had arrangements that he kept his small business and apartment in the unused basement. Dean swore he used it as a cover for more shady computer shit. Charlie swore he did no such thing. So Dean assumed Charlie must be in on it. He pretended none of it existed. 

With the money from the buy-out, they put all they had into purchasing Lake Alapmi, it's grounds, cabins, and businesses from the corporation that was running the resort into the ground. It wiped out their business profits. But already, they were making improvements and seeing their profits at Alapmi rise. Cas handled marketing. Charlie handled all the computer shit and helped Cas with advertising and general money management. Dean and Bobby handled all the grounds and reservations. Gabe had taken off for New York, but his share had gone into Lake Alapmi as well. He was as much an owner as the other three. With the last of their profits, they invested. Charlie and Cas handled that. Apparently Ash gave them pointers with that, but Dean chose not to think about that too hard.

The first year had been extremely tight. Charlie, Dean, and Cas moved back in with Bobby. While they were all glad to be home and thrilled that they were going to be close for the foreseeable future, they saved every penny to put towards buying their own first properties.

In true Foster style, they bought the large stretch of land that tracked past Bobby's house and looped to an undeveloped section of shoreline. They divided that into four, sharing and clearing a beach area so they had private lake access. The four plots of land were thick with woods. Cas and Dean decided to build on Cas' plot of land. Dean intended to give his to Sam as a graduation gift. Sam's was the furthest from the lake, but could have road access to town, making it more convenient for him. 

July of 2002 they broke ground on three houses.

It was November now and they were still sharing Bobby's house. Although, they had rentals at their disposal the last two weeks. They were taking advantage of the empty houses to sleep in, inspect, and make repairs. 

Ellen still owned the Roadhouse which was adjacent to Lake Alapmi, which, thankfully, Ellen operated and owned on her own. She was fantastic at helping them navigate local law, regulations, and 'tax crap' (as Dean called it).

The sound of crunching gravel under tires alerted them to a car pulling in.

Sam was on his feet in a flash and out the door.

"Saaaam!" They could hear Charlie squealing from their comfortable spots on the sofa. 

Sam picked Charlie up and spun her around. "I miss you so much!"

"Me too! You weren't even supposed to be here yet!" She laughed as the pair came through the door.

"Well, you know Dean. He had the music cranked and drove like his hair was on fire."

"I wasn't even speeding," Dean rolled his eyes.

"Your hair is getting so long! And please, please stop growing! I'm gonna need a step stool just to talk to you!"

He laughed, hugging her tiny frame again and kissing the top of her head. 

Dean pulled his phone out and called Gabe.

"What's up?" Gabe answered shortly.

"Your shortstack has arrived."

"No shit! Already? I'll be there in five."

Dean smirked as he closed his phone. "Gabe's on the way."

"I'm gonna start the grill," Bobby said, getting to his feet. "We got steaks for dinner."

"Ah yes, back to the land of red meat," Sam smirked.

"Don't cry yet. Ellen's bringing salad," Bobby smirked back.

They all went out front as Bobby filled the grill with charcoal and lit it.

"Heard you and Ellen have been spending a lot of time together," Sam grinned.

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Apparently that was the plan. Jo informed us not so long ago that we were both being too slow for her liking."

"Too slow?" Dean laughed. "Try immobile."

Bobby threw a chunk of charcoal at Dean. "I was...these things take time."

"Hey, when you know, you know," Dean chucked the little black ball right back in the charcoal bag. "Don't wait. It's not worth it."

"Yeah, yeah, you know everything there is to know about relationships," Bobby groused.

"I do," Dean admitted freely. "Nothing good comes from waiting. Just jump in. Right Cas?"

"Right," Cas grinned, winking at Bobby.

"So, am I sleeping on the couch tonight?" Sam asked, Bobby giving him a thankful look for changing the subject. 

"Nope. You get your room. Cas and Dean are staying at 'Wigeon Perch', the grey and yella place on the south side. Charlie's been stayin' at 'Wood Duck Dock House' just a few houses that way."

"And Gabe?"

"Gabe barely sleeps. In fact, I'm pretty sure he hasn't slept since he got here two days ago," Dean added.

"He does sleep," Cas corrected. "But he's been staying here with Bobby."

Sam nodded. "Nice. So I get my own bed? That'll be nice."

"You do, bitch," Dean shoved him, Sam shoving back. 

Both turned as tires crunched on gravel again. Gabe jumped out of his little, yellow sports car.

"Hey gang," Gabe hollered.

"Gabe!" Sam took off, hugging Gabe so tight they staggered back into his car.

"What the fuck is this?" Gabe gasped, pulling back and looking at Sam with wide eyes. While they emailed a lot, they had not actually seen each other in almost a year. 

"It's...Samsquatch! I always said you'd be tall, but holy shit!" He stood toe to toe with him, the top of his head coming to Sam's chin. "You have to stop getting taller! I can't even!"

Sam propped an arm on top of Gabe's head, just like he had done to him so many times for so many years.

"Oh yeah, that's just...awesome," Gabe deadpanned.

There were hugs all around and the family managed to migrate back to the porch.

"You been down to the lake yet?" Gabe asked, kicking the toe of Sam's boot.

"No, not yet."

"It looks good. The freakin' water is clearer than when we were kids! That's your brother's doing!"

"Seriously?" Sam said, getting to his feet again.

"Ya got half an hour if ya wanna walk down there," Bobby said, heading inside.

They all walked down Bobby's lane and then down to the old shed with bar stools. Finally, they went down the short slope to where they kept a few boats at the water's edge.

"Remember how it used to be so green?" Gabe asked.

"Yeah!" Sam said, looking across the water. "Dean, what did you do?"

"Put my hefty college education to work," Dean grinned. "Got the soil and water better balanced. Water is lookin' good. Now this spring we'll see if there aren't way more fish in here. If the fishing is better, people will come more often."

"Damn," Sam grinned, throwing an arm around his brother, "you are really making a difference here. Even the banks look better."

"Bobby did a lot of that. He's real good with the brush and vegetation."

They all stood, marveling at the lake. 

"I hired another grounds person to paint for me when the weather cooperates. Six of these houses need paint jobs. And they all need touched up here and there," Cas added. "It's really gonna be nice."

"How are the houses coming?" Sam asked.

Everyone grumbled about where they were on their stages of building. It was taking longer than all of them wanted, but since the rentals were opening up, they at least could spread out and get some work done. 

"Did I tell you I called Balthazar?" Gabe asked.

"No," several of them said.

"That's your cousin on your mom's side, right?" Sam asked.

"Yep. He's coming in February to redecorate. He shops cheap and has good taste. You'll love him."

Charlie, Dean, and Cas nodded. This had been talked about several months ago, but now the plans were falling into place. Some of the cabins still had paneling on the walls and furniture The Golden Girls would have loved. 

"All these gay people," Charlie laughed, "and none of us can decorate worth a damn!"

"I could," Cas said, his head tilting in thought, "I just don't have time."

"You are helping me with my place, right?" Charlie hip bumped him.

"Of course," Cas grinned, putting an arm around her. "I always have time for you."

Charlie snuggled into his side and shivered as a cold blast of air blew over the lake.

"Let's head back!" Gabe called, pushing his hands deep into his coat pockets. They all walked back, happy to be all together again. 

They squeezed around the table in Bobby's house. Ellen had showed up with her huge salad and brownies for dessert. She was her typical, boisterous self. She picked and joked and questioned and scolded when she felt it was necessary. That's just Ellen. 

"It sure is good havin' you and Gabe back home," Ellen said while Dean and Charlie cleared the table. "I know one ole coot that misses you too," she added, kissing Bobby on top of the head as she stood up to help.

"I see you two finally figured some things out," Sam grinned with a twinkle in his eye that Dean recognized from childhood.

"Oh shush," Bobby blushed, throwing a napkin at him.  
Sam laughed. "Well, I'm happy for you two."

Ellen rolled her eyes and kept busy.

 

As the evening got late, Cas left with Charlie to handle some last minute work stuff. Dean settled behind the desk in Bobby's office to check his work email. 

Bobby, Sam, and Gabe sat in the living room laughing and talking late into the night.

Dean was having more fun than he would admit, just watching his little brother acting like an adult. Sam had always been mature for his age, but he was really coming into his own. From his seat in the study, he could see into the living room where Gabe and Sam sat on the couch and Bobby was sitting in an armchair. It was warm and cozy and Dean could see a few years from now how awesome this could all be. When all five of them were back here, together at Lake Alapmi, it would be everything. 

Until then, all he could do was enjoy what he had. And that was a million times more than he ever thought he'd have.

Dean refocused on reading a contract that had been waiting on him to review for pest control around the lake. It was long and boring, but Dean had already taken notice of two chemicals he wanted adjusted, making notes.

"Well, I'm hittin' the hay," Bobby yawned. "Night, boys."   
He nodded back at Dean, who just waved because he was mid thought and his brain was already tired and ready for bed. 

Gabe and Sam continued talking. Sam telling Gabe about dorm life. Dean could tell by how they talked that they had been keeping in touch.

"How old are you now?" Gabe asked, catching Dean's ear.

"I told you, I'm 19. Old enough." 

Dean looked up from the contract on the screen, seeing Sam sitting up. Gabe was still lounged back on the other end.

"And have you decided anything?" Gabe was saying, looking at Sam in a way Dean had never noticed before.

Sam, for his part, moved closer so nonchalantly that it was almost unnoticeable. Almost.

"Yeah," Sam answered, his hand now laying alongside Gabe's along the back of the couch. "I definitely want to try."

Gabe cleared his throat, subtly inching toward Sam. "It's definitely a lifestyle change," Gabe said low.

Lifestyle change? Dean was staring now, mouth slightly open and furrowed brow. 

"I don't care about that," Sam murmured. "And it's not really guys that I'm interested in. It's mostly just you."

Dean's eyebrows shot up. Say what? And they had definitely forgot he was in the room. They weren't just talking low. They thought they were in private.

Gabe leaned onto his hand, his face coming a few more inches closer to Sam. "There's a big age difference here, Sam. I'm 5 years older than you. Not to mention twenty states away. New York and Cali aren't exactly close."

Sam nodded, looking down shyly. "I know. And I don't want to ruin anything or make you uncomfortable. I just had to say something."

Gabe reached over and went to pat Sam's arm, but slid down and took his hand.

What the hell?

Sam looked up at Gabe. "You're just scared of Dean, right? And Bobby?"

"Absolutely," Gabe smirked. "Bobby might shoot me and bury me on his property somewhere," Gabe laughed. "And Dean...I don't know. He's pretty handy. I might never be safe again."

They exchanged a smile. Their hands were still together, tracing lightly to explore each other. 

Dean was locked into some kind of frozen vortex. It was as if nothing would move and he did not see what was coming.

"Don't worry about what other people think," Sam grinned.

Gabe huffed a grin. "I usually don't. But I'm the one cradle-robbing here."

Sam was moving again. "Then I'll just have to take the first step."

Dean's jaw dropped again as his baby brother, thinking he was an adult, closed the distance and kissed Gabe.

Dean tore his eyes away, only now realizing he did not want to be there. He glanced up again and was witness to Gabe pulling his very willing brother closer and the kiss becoming way too much for Dean to want to be around for.  
He glanced around in a panic for how to get out of this mess when he heard Sam moan. 

Dean went to turn the computer off and knocked over a stack of books, five of them thudding to the floor.

Sam and Gabe sprang apart.

"Shit," Dean said, not looking at them. "I musta dozed off. Night." He jumped up, not picking up the books and not stopping for his jacket either as he darted out the door. Before anyone could say anything more, Dean was out the door, off the porch and on his four wheeler. He headed for the house he and Cas were staying in. It was freezing cold outside, but he would just have to deal with it and get his jacket tomorrow.

He sped around the lake and fumbled with the lock on the door, his hands shaking and freezing cold. After some struggle, he unlocked the door and came inside quickly.  
Cas was walking toward him, coffee in hand. "Hey."

"Hey," Dean repeated.

"Where's your coat? You look like you're freezing!"

"It's fuckin' cold out there," Dean chattered.

Cas handed him his coffee. It felt warm in his icy hands and his shivering stopped almost immediately. Cas rubbed heat into his arms and hugged him to him for a moment before he stood back, looking at him with some worry.

"Dean, what's going on?"

"I just...I didn't mean to be there."

"Be where?" Cas coaxed, bringing Dean into the kitchen to pour him his own cup of coffee to drink.

"I was reading the pest control contract and...they forgot I was there."

"Who?" Cas asked, starting to look really confused with the head tilt and eyes and...

Dean took a deep breath and sat down at the stool at the island. "I was reading that contract in Bobby's study. He went to bed and...Sam and Gabe started making out."

"What?" Cas looked affronted, stepping back. "They can't-". He cut himself off from finishing that statement. To Dean's surprise he started laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Dean said, still not knowing how he felt about it.

"Because! Gabe? I never saw that coming!"

"Well, yeah. Gabe's too old for Sam!"

"Dean," Cas said, stepping between Dean's knees and taking his hands in his. "You and I are the last people to judge them harshly. I mean, look at us!"

"Well, yeah. But. How old is Gabe? Like...24."

"So they're 5 years different. Who cares?" Cas said, dropping his laughing grin for a sweeter one. "It's Gabriel. We know him. He's family."

Dean sighed, looking into Cas' blue eyes and finding that yeah, he had no right to judge. And it was Gabe. They loved the guy. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am," Cas grinned, kissing Dean's hand. He stepped back and went back to the counter to finish putting a few dishes away. Dean sat there quietly, lost in thought. He looked up when Cas stuck a 'Paid' sticker from the milk carton on his thigh.

Dean grinned, pulling the sticker off and looking at it. On the sticky side, in Cas' neat, small writing, it said, 'Meet me upstairs'.

When Dean looked up, he was alone in the kitchen. He grinned, putting the sticker on his leg again and headed up the steps quietly.

In the master bedroom, he heard water running in the tub. The thought of defrosting in a warm bath made him relax even more. He opened the top dresser drawer and pulled out his slightly battered book, opening it. It was filled with pages of stickers. He stuck his new sticker on it and shucked his clothes. He opened the door to find it was warm and steamy inside, a few inches of water already in the tub.

"It looked like you could use a little help relaxing," Cas grinned.

"Yeah. Unthawing, more like it."

Cas got in the tub and sat back. Dean got in next, leaning back into Cas' chest and letting himself be surrounded in warmth.

"As long as he's happy. I just hope Gabe understands that he's young and this could just be a phase. I don't want either of them hurting each other."

Cas agreed with a low, "Mmhmm." He ran his hands up Dean's arms, warming his cold skin.

"And if this turns into something, Gabe better plan on moving back here. My baby brother is not living in New York. It's too far away."

Dean sighed at the steadily rising hot water and the steadily stroking hands of Cas. 

"Gabe would never do that," Cas said quietly. "He already has plans to move back here."

"I know," Dean huffed, his hands moving along Cas' submerged, smooth legs.

"I like this house," Dean said sleepily. "This master suite is perfect."

"Not as perfect as ours will be."

"No, not as perfect as that," Dean grinned, catching Cas' hand and kissing it.

He studied Cas' long fingers as the water rose and the room steamed. 

They washed slowly and got out after a twenty minute soak.

When Dean came out of the bathroom, he found Cas standing at the dresser, looking through Dean's sticker book. Cas was grinning down at it fondly, flipping the pages. Dean wrapped his arms around him from behind, looking over his shoulder.

"I remember writing this one," Cas said, running his finger over a small rectangle with Darth Vader on it. "I bought a pack of Star Wars stickers and had this one stuck on a piece of stationary. My mom was on the phone and grabbed the paper, taking a note from a client. She peeled the sticker off the paper and handed it to me with a stern scowl, obviously thinking I was being childish." He turned the clear page, running his finger over the other side. "I thought I was going to get in so much trouble. I was shaking when I took it off the tip of her finger."

Dean hugged him tighter, kissing his neck softly. The message in his small writing said, 'I love you, Dean'.

He turned in Dean's arms, kissing him. "She was too preoccupied to see my writing. I felt like I had just gotten away with state secrets."

Dean grinned. "You did. You are quite the sneaky bad-ass, Castiel."

"Castiel?" Cas grinned, pulling his head back enough to smile.

"Mmhm," Dean grinned, scooping Cas off his bare feet and carrying him to the bed. 

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Dean could read Cas like a book. He was in a slow, sultry mood. And Dean was more than feeling it.

 

Dean woke the next morning. It was Thanksgiving morning. To his great dismay, the other side of the bed was empty. It was strange for Cas to be up already. He yawned loudly and sat up, seeing a note on Cas' pillow.

 

Dean,  
Morning Sunshine! I thought I would start the day early. Hope to see you before dinner.  
Love,   
Cas

 

Dean frowned. Before dinner? Where was he? He grinned at the sticker of a sun and pulled it off. 'Bobby needs your help with the turkey'. A small, familiar heart was at the bottom. 

Dean got up and got dressed for the day. His typical apparel of jeans, boots, a t-shirt, and a complimenting flannel. 

In the kitchen, he found a travel mug of hot coffee and a cat sticker on the lid.

'Hurry up! Bobby needs help!'

He jumped on the four wheeler with his coffee. The leaves were making the roads carpeted in red, orange, and yellow. The sun was bright but the air was cold. He pulled up to Bobby's and headed inside.

"Hey!" Bobby grinned. "You here to help me stuff the bird?"

"Yep," Dean grinned. The dry part of the stuffing had been done last night and Bobby was already mixing in the wet ingredients. "It already smells delicious in here. Was Cas here already?"

"Nope. But I'm glad you turned up. This is a big bird."

They stuffed the bird full, salt and peppered it and put it in the oven. The rest of the stuffing was put into a baking pan and set aside to bake later.

Dean washed his hands and dried them off with a hand towel.

"Here ya go," Bobby said, handing him a half gallon of milk. 

Dean looked at it oddly and put it in the fridge.

Bobby took it back out and handed it to him again. Dean looked at him like he was crazy. 

"Try again," Bobby grinned.

Dean looked at it. He pulled the 'Paid' sticker and saw a blurry message from Cas. 'Time to give a dam.'

Dean looked up. 

Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "Cas said you would know where to go when you read it."

"Go?" Dean looked at it again, handing Bobby the jug. "What's goin' on, Bobby?"

"I don't know. Guess Cas was feelin' some kinda way this morning."

Dean looked at the sticker again. Time to give a damn. No, wait, dam not damn. 

Dean stuck the sticker to his stainless steel mug and grinned at Bobby. "See ya later."

Bobby nodded and headed out to the living room as he left. 

He jumped back on the four wheeler and took off for where the old dam used to be when they were kids. Cas was obviously having fun keeping Dean busy this morning.  
He was tempted to call Cas and ask him just what he was up to, but this was not the first time they had played a sticker game. Last time had ended in a pretty hot and heavy night in one of the houses here. They had a cancelation and Dean took full advantage of it, making Cas traipse all over the place.

He grinned anew at the memory and turned the four wheeler off. He walked along the shore, checking over the lake as he went. He came to the remnants of the old dam and saw a little marker flag from their property lines. The small orange triangle of a flag had a sticker on it. Dean grinned, pulling the flag out.

He pulled the American flag sticker off and turned it over. 'Believe it or not, there are still daisies in our field.'

Dean stuck the flag sticker on his mug, taking a warm drink and heading back to the four wheeler. He looked around the patch of a field that seemed enormous when the were little. Dean could still remember the boy he barely knew with the eyes that almost too blue that gave him a daisy. Cas still gave him daisies sometimes. Dean did just as often. He scanned the field and saw no flowers. It had to be too cold for them to still be hanging on. Just then he saw two little clusters near the woods line. He hiked over the field and saw one had a bright pink index card on it. The card had a big round sticker of a bee with a dotted line that said bee mine. He peeled the sticker off and read it. 'Ice Cream Sundae.....75 cents'  
Dean grinned. Bobby's shed. The old menu that was faded and worn hung on the wall inside Bobby's shed. It was the only place he could think of that would list sundaes so cheap.

Back on the four wheeler, he wound around the narrow road to Bobby's shed. He walked around the outside, seeing nothing. He pulled his keys out and unlocked it. Inside were the familiar rows of everything a maintenance shed should have. And some weird stuff that just made it awesome. He went over to the menu and saw a '70% off' sticker. He glanced around, wondering if Cas was going to pop out. He peeled the sticker off and read, 'I love you'.  
Dean grinned, sticking that one on his chest like the I love you went right to his heart. He looked for another and finally found a sticker on the side of the menu. He peeled it off and frowned. There was nothing written on it. He looked around more and found nothing. He looked at it again. There was a baby with a pink hair bow. And nothing on the back. He stared at it for a few minutes. Nothing was coming to him. He went outside, locking the shed and sat on the nearest stool. He looked at the baby for clues, then stuck it on his mug with the others.

It hit him finally. "Oh! It's a baby! Baby!" He laughed out loud, glancing around again and jumped on the four wheeler, heading for Bobby's, where Baby was parked.  
He was getting better at these little games. He rode right past Bobby and Charlie, who were standing on the porch. He stopped at the old garage out back and pulled the door open. He pulled open the driver's side door and looked in. Tucked into the edge of the passenger seat was an envelope. Dean sat down behind the wheel, smiling at the simple, white envelope. "What are you up to?" Dean laughed. A small paper was folded, opening to reveal a note. 

Dean,  
Time really does pass quickly. I met you 13 years ago. For 13 years the color green has meant something all new to me. For some, it means money. For some green makes them think of green grass. For me, green makes me think of your eyes. How they lighten when you think too hard at the computer. How they darken when I touch you or even just when I talk in your ear. You have taught me so many things. This was one of my favorites...

Thirteen small, green round stickers were lined up on the paper. He pulled one of the dots off and saw it had the letter s on it. He grinned. Cas was having way too much fun with this little game. Dean got out of the car and went to the work bench. A piece of broken window was tucked away at the back of a shelf. He slid it out, wiping it off. He took each sticker off, finding a letter on each one, except one had a heart. He stuck that one on his mug and drank the last of his coffee. He looked at them for several moments, trying to make words.

S, U, F, K, S, R, R, I, O, S, T, I

After a few shuffling attempts, he bit his lip. "Oh yeah," Dean grinned. "Mine too."

He rearranged them to write out the phrase, 'OUR FIRST KISS'.

He grabbed the mug, now dotted with stickers, and went back out to the four wheeler. He went past Bobby's house and over to where the shed was. The path up to the copse of trees was too narrow, so he parked it and hiked up the winding path.

Leaning against their tree, was Cas. His grin was warm and full of anticipation.

Dean bit his lip, blushing at just how much he could love one person. It was so consuming at times.

He cut through the circle and walked right up to Cas, kissing him. "Is this my prize?"

Cas shook his head no. He was blushing now too. Dean noticed he had two stickers on his flannel jacket. A heart with a 1 written on it and a 'May The Force Be With You' sticker that had a 2 on it.

Dean laughed. "You sure are going to a lot of trouble for one night of hot sex, which, I assume, is my prize."

Cas huffed a laugh, blushing slightly harder and looking down. Dean couldn't help himself. He tipped Cas' chin up and kissed him. He had done his share of waiting in the past. He pretty much did what he wanted, when he wanted when it came to Cas now. The kiss was warm, but Cas kept his hands in his pockets, not letting it go too far.

"Mmm," Dean pulled back. He took the first sticker off.   
'I love you'

Dean grinned, looking at those blue eyes. "I love you too, Cas."

Cas only grinned.

Damn, he could be stubborn.

"Now, what did I win?" Dean pulled off the second sticker and read it.

'Will you marry me?'

His eyes flew up to Cas'. Cas pressed his mouth into a firm line, watching him eagerly.

Dean read it again and stuck it to his own chest. "Of course, Cas! Yes!"

Cas broke into a smile. "I've been wanting to do this for so long. And I know you love Thanksgiving, so, I just wanted to make the day even better."

Dean kissed him, pressing him back into the tree. "Best day ever," he said between kisses. "And why were you even nervous? You know I'm yours."

Cas huffed a laugh. "I don't know. I just need you to know that you are the best thing in my life and...I want to get married before we move into the house. Can we? Will you?" Cas pulled a ring out of his pocket. A white gold band with his name in Enochian engraved around it. "Will you marry me next month when everyone is home for Christmas?"

Dean sputtered at the sight of the ring in Cas' fingers. "Y-yes! Yes!" He kissed Cas again. "Yes! Whatever you want! I love you!"

Cas slid the ring on Dean's finger. It felt so strange to be wearing. "I don't know if I can wait until Christmas," Dean said, looking at it with some wonder. 

Cas laughed and the pair headed toward the four wheeler. "Who all knows about this?" Dean asked.

"Just Bobby. I had to ask him for permission, ya know."

"I bet that was fun," Dean snickered.

"He said we were idjits for not doing it sooner."

They both laughed at that.

 

Dean took the long way round the lake and pulled into the house they were staying in.

"I think Bobby is expecting us to help with dinner," Cas said, stepping off the four wheeler and looking at Dean with some question.

"Yeah, well he's gonna have to wait a little while. I have a prize to collect and I'm not waiting until tonight."

Cas chuckled low, taking Dean by the hand and heading into the house. 

"And I have stickers to put in my book," Dean added, heading up the steps two at a time, Cas following.

Dean sat the mug on the dresser next to his book and carefully added all the stickers he had collected, leaving a place for the twelve green dots that were still on the glass in the garage. He flipped it closed and pulled his jackets off. 

Cas was already down to t-shirt and jeans and was sitting on the bed smiling at him. "We really did get it all. I got you. We got the lake. We got Bobby, Charlie, Sam, and Gabe. It all worked out."

"Of course it did," Dean said, pushing Cas back on the bed and crawling over him. "I would have torn this world apart to find you. There is just no other way it could have ended."

He pulled Cas' shirt off, tossing it. He pulled his own off, tossing that.

"Me too," Cas huffed, running his hands up Dean's bare sides and pulling him down. "I knew you were the one."

"Yeah. I'm the one."

Dean plundered Cas' mouth hotly, only pulling away when he needed to move. He pulled Cas the rest of the way on the bed and unbuttoned his pants. Cas eyes followed his hands as he lowered the zipper of Cas' pants. He was sure he was watching how the new ring looked on him as his hands worked. He unbuttoned his own and pulled them off. He pulled Cas' off too, finding his last surprise of the day. Cas had a plug in and was ready.

"Oooohhh," Dean laughed, twisting the find and watching Cas catch his breath. "Were you going to wear this all through dinner?"

"I knew we wouldn't make it to dinner," he panted.

Dean slid it in and out slowly. "I bet the ride home felt awfully good."

"It was...yeah. Good."

Dean could see Cas was falling apart quickly. He grabbed the lube from the drawer and lubed himself. He knelt over top of him and kissed his neck and jaw, working his way down. "Dean," Cas panted, pushing his hips up to rub against him.

Dean wrapped his fingers around Cas' swollen, hot dick and stroked once, feeling the ring slide against his softest skin. 

He moved quick, sucking him down whole and pulling the plug almost out, then as he slid up his dick he pushed it back in just as fast.

"Oooohhh," Cas moaned.

Dean continued until Cas was panting and shaking and then stopped abruptly.

"Fuck," Cas gasped.

Dean grinned like a stalking cat and pulled the plug out. 

"I'm not gonna last," Cas gasped.

"You better," Dean growled. He gripped Cas' dick at the base and slid inside quickly, Cas squirming and panting.

"I want you with me," Dean hissed, pulling almost the whole way out and pushing back in.

"I am," Cas huffed, tipping his hips up for more.

Dean let go, catching Cas' hands and pinning them to the bed, pistoning in and out until Cas was moving quick enough to counter him stroke for stroke. 

All Dean could do was feel and move fast. It felt hot and good and he knew this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. His ring glinted sunlight from the window and he growled in need.

"Dean!" Cas gasped, "Dean, I..."

"Come on, Cas. I'm coming!" He slammed three hard strokes and Cas' eyes closed as he pumped and pumped through their shared orgasm.

Dean rode to the frenzied end and then collapsed on top of him. "I love you so much."

"Love you," Cas panted, kissing him sloppily on the face and holding him tight.

They laid there breathing hard until they were both snuggled tight together.

"I made you a pie," Cas said quietly into the silent room.

Dean huffed a little laugh. He looked at Cas and laughed again. "I can't fucking take it. Marriage. Sex. Pie. I'm so fucking done!"

"You haven't even smelled that turkey yet!" Cas laughed. "Or got to pick on Charlie, Sam, and Gabe!"

A tear ran down Dean's cheek and he swatted it away.

Cas pushed up onto one elbow. He smoothed his thumb over Dean's damp cheek. "I know we deserve all this. I know we worked hard and went through hell to get here. But it really is our life, Dean. You and me. And our family."

"It's just...so good, Cas. I'm so happy."

Cas pulled him into his arms and held him tight. 

"I was fine until the pie. That just...pushed me over the edge!"

Cas laughed.

"Stop laughing!" Dean laughed, "It's true!"

Cas nodded. "I know. I know."

 

Dinner was fabulous. And so were the pies. Dean was in a bit of a reflective haze for the rest of the day. He got the boy. He got Cas. 

Everyone congratulated them with hugs. Even Jody was tearing up at the story of Cas' sticker trail. He really was happy. And not the kind of happy that faded away and broke. No. Cas had taught him a whole new kind of happy. Bobby too. Bobby had given him the keys to life. There were many. And he knew there were more. And he looked forward to many things. But he never rushed another day. This was heaven on Earth.


	11. 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a time stamp. Let me know if you want any more :)

Chapter 11 2017

 

Third week of July, 2017. 

Dean sighed as he smelled the familiar breeze of lake water, woods, and smoke from cookouts. Home. 

The trees gave peeks of water as the road wound around Lake Alapmi. He looked over at Cas in the passenger seat and grinned. Cas caught his glance, taking a deep breath of air blowing through the car windows. He slid his hand over, taking Dean's. His ring bore the engraved name 'Dean' in Enochian. Dean's eyes were on the road again, but his thumb ran over the familiar grooves.

"Dad," Claire said from the back seat. Dean glanced into the rearview mirror, seeing her long blonde hair blowing in the wind. "Alex keeps taking your soldier out of the ashtray and acting like she's shooting at me."

"Well I hope you have defense, Claire," Dean grinned, winking at her in the mirror.

She rolled her eyes, but Dean saw the smile she smirked anyway.

Claire was their sixth foster kid. Her parents were gone. And through some bumps in the road, they adopted her when she was 13. Alex came along later. She was their first foster kid after adopting Claire. They decided to take the steps to adoption when she went back home and ended up in foster care again. Her road had been rocky as well. Her adoption went through a year ago and both girls were 15 now. They fought like cats and dogs but were as thick as thieves. The pair had given Dean and Cas many sleepless nights, but there was a lot of love. 

"Your Uncle Sam and I had many a bloody battle back there," Dean grinned.

"Bet you always won," Alex grinned back.

"You bet your ass I did," Dean laughed.

"Don't get caught in the crossfire, Ben!" Cas grinned, turning in his seat to look back at the three.

Ben had been adopted five years ago. His mom had been a friend of theirs who died in a car accident. He was 4 months old at the time. Dean watched as he made a fairly stealthy lunge for the soldier, snagging him from Alex's hand.

"Hey!" Alex yelled.

"Mine now!" Ben giggled, hiding the tiny green man in his car seat.

Dean pulled onto Bobby's lane and all three kids perked up.

"Grandpa!" Ben cheered, seeing Bobby on his front porch with his Bloodhound, Rumsfeld, panting in the hot summer sun.

Dean turned the engine off. "Ten minutes!" Dean said sternly. "Then we gotta go home and unpack."

All three scurried out of the back seat, hugging Bobby and Rumsfeld. The commotion brought Ellen out and she picked up Ben and hugged the girls.

Dean got out of the car, stretching his aching knees and headed for the porch.

"How was Ireland?" Bobby asked, hugging Dean and Cas.

"Friggin' awesome!" Dean grinned. "You gotta go, Bobby!"

"It was amazing," Cas added, sitting on the porch swing and putting an arm around Ellen.

"Good food?" Ellen asked, snuggling into Cas' side.

"It was different," Cas said. "We missed your cooking."

"Oh my God," Claire pouted, sitting on Ellen's lap and throwing her legs across Cas' lap. "I neeeeed a burger! Grandma, pleeeaaase."

Ellen kissed her cheek. "Oh, Grandma, is it? I thought I was just Ellen!"

"No!" She smiled, hugging her. "I missed you. These two act like total dorks when you aren't around to keep them in line!"

"Oh, I know. They're impossible!" Ellen laughed. 

Alex was still the quietest of the three kids. She was the last to give a hug and rarely said she loved them. But she was more than happy to be where she was. She stood quietly next to Dean. He could see her wanting to be part of the group, but struggling. He pulled her over, keeping his arm around her shoulders. 

"Did you like the food over there, Ben?" Bobby asked.

"It was gross," Ben said, wrinkling his nose.

"I'm pretty sure he lost 5 pounds," Cas said, one corner of his mouth drawing down as he watched his son throw a stick for Rumsfeld.

"I found it," Dean said, rubbing his stomach. "Bobby. The beer. Maaan."

"Were you drinking too, Alex?" Bobby teased.

"No," she laughed. "Dean slipped me some, but Cas says we have to go by American rules."

Dean bit his lip and Cas just rolled his eyes.

"Beer is grosser than the food," Ben said.

"Dean!" Cas yelled.

"What?!" Dean defended. "I had to get some carbs in him some how!"

Cas and Ellen rolled their eyes and Bobby laughed hard.

"You oughta be ashamed, Dean, turning my grandchildren into drunks!"

"Eh," Dean waved. "They were fine."

"Charlie and Jo are planning on having everyone over to their place in two hours for dinner," Bobby said.

"Will there be burgers?" Claire asked pointedly.

"There will," Ellen grinned. "In fact, let me up, I gotta get back to makin' my patties."

Claire jumped up and Ellen hugged all three kids. "I'm glad you're all back. Bobby misses you somethin' terrible when you're gone."

Bobby smirked.

"We gotta head home anyway," Dean said.

"Aww," Ben whined.

"Hey," Dean warned. "I said ten minutes."

They all stood up to go, loading back in the car. "See you at Aunt Charlie's!" Ben called.

Bobby waved as they drove past his house and up the lane. Having foster kids was something all of them wanted to do after they were settled and Lake Alapmi was up and running fully. They ran a special camp once a summer for local foster kids. It was hard for all of them not to open their doors to every kid that went through the system. But Dean and Cas had decided three was their limit. They needed time for just the five of them. Sam and Gabe had two boys, and Charlie and Jo each had children of their own. Jo had gotten pregnant her third year of college and moved back home. They had not expected her and Charlie to fall in love, but there it was. Ellie, named after Ellen, was turning 14 soon. Charlie had Robbie three years after her and Jo got together. He would be 8 soon. They had fostered kids as well, but none of them stuck like the two for Sam and Gabe and the two for Dean and Cas. 

Sam and Gabe's boys were foster kids that they had adopted. Cyrus was from an abusive home and was sullen and withdrawn for quite a while. He had really changed when Asa came. Asa was 4 when he arrived. He was from a good home and was a pretty happy kid. His dad had never been around and his mother had been killed in an accident in the woods. He was adventurous and Cyrus seemed to really come out of his shell. He was adopted quickly and as far as Dean knew, Sam and Gabe were content with their two. 

When Dean had asked Sam why he thought Cyrus changed so much, Sam laughed. 

"He's a big brother now. I told him that there was nothing better in the world than having a good brother."

Yeah, Sam was by far the best brother Dean could ever ask for. While they had all lost a lot, they had gained even more.

All of it, on the shores of Lake Alapmi.

The End

 

The new line up!

Alex - 15  
Claire - 15  
Cyrus - 14  
Ellie -13  
Asa - 10  
Robbie - 7  
Ben - 5


End file.
